Notice Me (34 page)

“Megan thinks we are fighting because I am being a prude.”

“I still don’t like them thinking we are fighting.”

“Will, we will be fighting for our entire marriage. It’s all based on lies.”

“It doesn’t have to be that way. I don’t want to fight. I want us to be a perfect partnership. You and I taking on the world together Shannon. We would be unstoppable.”

“You are living in a dream world Will. I am not doing this out of choice,” I whispered.

“Let me woo you again Shannon. I can make you love me. Charlie isn’t as perfect as you think. I have known him a lot longer than you.”

“You know nothing about him Will. He is the most amazing man I have ever known. Why else would I be here if Charlie wasn’t my entire world?”

“I want to be that to you Shannon.”

“You need to earn that right Will and in your case I’m not sure you ever will.” I glared getting up to go to my room.

“Shan,” Will reached for my hand as I walked past him. “I am truly sorry. You have no idea how much I love you.”

“I find that hard to believe,” I whispered pulling away from his hold. “I’m tired. I will see you tomorrow.”

Will called after me, but I didn’t turn back as I entered my room.

I fell asleep clutching my necklace wondering if Charlie still thought about me. Why should he? I had broken his heart, but I hoped I would always be there in the back of his mind.

“Did you and Will make up last night?” Megan asked at breakfast.

“We weren’t really fighting.”

“Don’t lie to me Shan. I know you.”

“I guess I am a little stressed about the whole wedding.”

“It’s a big step, but you two are made for each other.” I couldn’t help but laugh at that. “I’m thinking of trying to speak to Charlie.”

My head snapped up in fury. “Why would you do that?”

“I never got him out of my head. All these wedding plans it makes me realise I’m still not over him.”

“But the last time you saw him you thought he had someone else.”

“I am Megan Field. Who ever she is I know she won’t be a patch on me.” Megan had a point. How did Charlie fall in love with me?

“It’s a bad idea Megan. You need to move on. Charlie has.”

“Did he speak much of me while you were working with him?”

“I… I didn’t really see much of him,” I stuttered not really knowing what to say.

“But you must have seen some of him.”

“We didn’t talk about you Megan. I know you want to hear he was pining after you, but he wasn’t. He looked happy, really happy.” I was losing it a little.

“Alright Shan I get it, but I can’t help how I feel.”

“I know, but you really need to move on. Since when do you grovel anyway?”

“True,” Megan giggled. “I might go on a date with that footballer we met at Reds the other night.”

“I think someone new is best Megan. Charlie will only break your heart if you keep holding onto him like that.” My heart whimpered a little to my words. I knew I had to put him into the back of my mind. I had to make something of this life I now had. Maybe Will was right, should I let him woo me, gain the trust back that he had destroyed? That thought horrified me, but would I ever feel differently? I was making this harder on myself I knew I was.

“So what have you got planned for today?” Megan asked snapping me out of my daze.

“I was thinking about meeting Will for lunch.”

“You are going to make one loyal wife,” Megan giggled. “I’m not looking forward to you moving out when you and Will find a place to live.”

“I am sure we will be nearby. Will doesn’t want to go too far from the city centre.”

“Can I come into town with you? I have a meeting with my agent. I want to make sure I get the gig in Paris.” I just rolled my eyes at Megan. How could they turn her down she was becoming the leading supermodel in London, even America was taking notice of her.

I took a deep breath as I wandered into Will’s office. His PA had told me he was alone so I didn’t have to knock.

“Shannon,” Will beamed from his desk getting up. “This is a pleasant surprise.”

“I thought we could have lunch together.” Will just looked at me suspiciously. “I have been thinking about what you said.”

“You have?” Will asked amazed.

“I know I am making this hard on myself, but once we are married I want you to know I will let you try to woo me. I am too angry for any of that now, but I will hold my end of the deal. As long as Charlie is safe. I will be yours.”

“That’s all I want Shannon.”

“It doesn’t mean I will do anything until we marry. Do you understand that?”

“I know you think I am a monster, but I would never pressure you into anything like that Shannon. I know I have taken you from Charlie, but deep down I know I am the right choice for you even if you can’t see it – yet.” Will was insane, his deep ocean eyes told me he thought he was speaking the truth.

“We will take it one step at a time, but I am letting you know I will stop fighting you.”

Will breathed in relief. I knew I was being too lenient on him, but how long could I carry on struggling with the hatred I felt for him? I had made this mess myself. I had taken my best friend’s soul mate. I should have always known I would have to pay for my actions.

“I will treat you like the queen you are Shannon.” Will smiled touching my hand. I flinched pulling away. It would take a while to control that reaction when we were alone. “I think I will start by treating you to a slap up lunch. What do you think?” I forced a smile nodding as Will led the way.

I was lying to my heart. I knew that, but I had the most important creature to protect. He was all that mattered.

I was strong enough to do this for him whether he was still thinking about me or not I would never let him down. I knew the chances of Charlie forgetting me were slim. After all I knew he loved me as much as I loved him.

It shattered my heart knowing Charlie doubted my love. Deep down I hoped Charlie knew what he really meant to me. Those memories in New York would always be the best of my life. Would they be Charlie’s?

I knew one thing was certain, when I became a Field there would be no going back. I would have no choice but to give my heart and body to a man I would always despise.

Chapter 25

Shannon,

You may not want to hear from me, but what else can I do? I feel so lost.

I hate feeling like this because I know what I am missing. Your soft touch, the way your beautiful green eyes glisten when you laugh.

How can I ever stop loving you when you are the angel in my dreams every night?

Please write to me. I need to know the truth. I can take the pain so do not spare my feelings. I somehow need to move on from this, from us!

If you have read this letter and have not thrown it away you must feel something?

Please sweetheart,

Notice me

Xxxx

Charlie’s note arrived a few days after my night out at Reds. It was as if my heart had been brought to life with every single electric word. I read the letter over and over again touching the words knowing Charlie’s soft hand had written every one.

Megan had gone to Paris for a photo shoot for the weekend. Will was in a business meeting with his father until lunchtime. I had four hours to try and make Charlie understand he had to let me go before Will came to take me out for lunch with his parents. I raced into my room searching for a piece of paper and pen. I lay across my bed and began to scribble.

Charlie,

You need to let me go.

You must understand I have to put Megan and Will first. I owe them that when you think what I have done to them. I love Will and I want to marry him.

You need to understand that and move on with your life.

Please do not contact me again. It is painful enough. I know I have given you no answers, but it is better this way.

I want you to be happy and to be able to move on with your life so please let me go.

Shannon

xxx

I kept it simple. Most of it Charlie already knew, but I hoped he would understand he had to stay away from me. Some of the paper was smudged with my tears, but I didn’t have time to rewrite it. I still needed to post the letter which involved a walk to the post office a few blocks down the street.

I felt an almost sense of relief as I walked along the road to post Charlie’s letter. I hoped he would understand and finally let me go.

I heard an old familiar voice shouting my name as I began to walk back to the town house.

“Shannon, wait.” The voice shouted as he raced towards me.

“Bradley!” I replied shocked. What were the chances? It was like fate. “What are you doing here?” It was so good to see him as I wrapped my arms around him. His hair had grown slightly from the clean shaven look he had while I was living in New York. His Knicks basketball vest appeared through his coat. Charlie and I had watched the game with them when he bought it. My heart throbbed at the memory.

“My sister lives in London. Lorna and I are visiting her.”

“Lorna is here too?” I asked excitedly. The thought of seeing her friendly face was like a shot of adrenaline.

“Yeah, she is shopping with her as we speak.”

“Why am I not surprised?” I laughed. Lorna loved a bargain.

“How are you? I mean you left in such a hurry five months ago.”

“Oh you know,” I looked around not wanting to give Bradley any eye contact.

“Have you spoken to Charlie?”

“No why?”

“Shannon, he is a mess.” Bradley looked at me coldly. “You have torn his heart out. I have tried everything to help him, but he just wants to mope around all the time.”

“I have just written him a letter actually. He wrote to me.”

“I hope you haven’t broken his heart again?”

“No, Bradley, I… it’s just complicated you know.”

“Are you really okay, kid? Charlie had this ridiculous idea you were being bullied or something into this whole marriage thing. I did tell him he was dreaming. I mean no offence Shan, but William Field is a pretty good catch if it is all about the money,” Bradley nudged me.

“I know what you mean,” I almost smiled. It was just the way Bradley said it, he was a funny guy. I wasn’t shocked that Charlie and Bradley were still good friends. It was good to know Charlie had someone looking out for him. “No, I am not being bullied.”

“Are you sure?”