Notice Me (37 page)

“I didn’t tell him the truth Mrs Gray. I told him I loved Will,” I corrected her as I noticed she was beginning to get the wrong idea.

She pulled me tighter. “You poor dear. We will rearrange the dress fitting for tomorrow I think. Come on sit down. I will make you a strong coffee.”

“It just hurts so much,” I whispered as I sipped my coffee moments later.

“I can only imagine how you must be feeling.”

“I just wish I could have told him the truth perhaps my heart wouldn’t ache as much.”

“You can,” Mrs Gray touched my face. I looked up at her bewildered. “Write him a letter. Tell him everything from the deepest depths of your heart.” I was going to ask if she had gone mad, but she wouldn’t let me interrupt. “Then throw the letter away. It will amaze you how good it will feel to have the words on paper.”

“You are wonderful,” I whispered touching her hand. I would try anything if it would help my burning heart.

“Go, do it now. I will finish tidying up for you,” Mrs Gray almost dragged me into my bedroom. “We need to go shopping later otherwise Megan will kill you for destroying her house.” I smiled as I entered my room. “Remember put your heart and soul into it tell him everything. It will help. We can burn it later if you want.”

“Thank you Mrs Gray,” I kissed her on the cheek then entered my room. It wasn’t as difficult getting all my feelings for Charlie out. They burst across the page in minutes.

Charlie,

You noticed me when no one else did. Gave me everything I was searching so hard to find. You will never know how every time I saw you I felt as if I could take on the world. How you’re every touch sent me into my own personal heaven. You completed me more than I ever dreamed possible. You were my perfect match in every way. So I need to tell you from the bottom of my soul I am so sorry I gave up on us.

If I had not been forced by Will you would still be mine and I would not be trapped into marrying a man I despise.

Charlie, I had to leave. I had to protect you from Will. He would have killed you if I stayed. Can you see how I had no choice? You are everything to me. So much more than my own pathetic life.

I will never stop loving you Charlie.

You gave me enough happiness in our six months to last my whole lifetime. Will can never take that away from me – from us.

I am so sorry, but how can we be happy when the only thing I want comes with a price? I can’t risk that, I love you too much.

I will love you for eternity.

I am so sorry, please forgive me!

Shannon

xxxxxxx

I did feel glad to finally have spoken the truth. Even though I knew Charlie would never know, my heart felt a little lighter. Will would never be able to stop me loving Charlie. I took a great amount of comfort in that. I threw the letter into the open fire in Megan’s front room. I couldn’t stand to watch it burn. It would feel as if my last hope was turning to ash. Mrs Gray told me to have a shower it was late morning. We had a lot to fit in today.

We managed to replace a few of Megan’s breakables in Oxford Street. I made it in time for my dress fitting after all even though Mrs Gray did not think it was the best idea.

The dress was like a dead weight on me. Chaining me, smothering me as it clung to my body. The assistant was too over excited as she pinned my final fitting into place. I knew most women only dreamed of marrying a billionaire. I would have swapped with any of them. It made me shiver as I realised the next time I wore my dress would be my actual wedding day.

“You look beautiful Shannon,” Mrs Gray touched my arm.

“I bet Megan will still outdo me on the day.” I tried to tease, but tears still trickled down my face.

“I doubt that very much. You have natural beauty.”

“It’s strange to think about next time I wear this,” I looked down at my white dress. All the crystal beads glistened in the light. My long lace trail cascaded down across the floor. It was an elegant striking dress. I should have felt like a princess in it.

“You are going to make a beautiful bride,” Mrs Gray helped me down from the fitting podium. “Come on let’s get you home. I think you could do with an early night.”

“Yeah, you are probably right,” I smiled already trying to ease myself out of my dress.

“If you need me call me?” Mrs Gray asked at the front door as we arrived back.

“You don’t have to do that.”

“I know I am meant to just be your wedding coordinator, but I just can’t help it you are such a lovely young lady Shannon Davis.”

“Thank you Mrs Gray.”

“You take care my dear. Don’t forget your spa treatment tomorrow.”

“Like I could forget,” I rolled my eyes.

“It will do you good I think.”

“Yeah I guess,” I replied as I helped Mrs Gray into her taxi.

The spa treatment did relax me the next day. I was massaged, moisturised, cleansed and toned from head to toe. I decided to have my nails done as well. I lay in the salt pool for a good two hours just wishing the day away wondering if this was what my life was going to be like now. Would Will really keep his promise about me being able to return to work after the wedding? Part of me didn’t believe that. I knew what life I had ahead of me. One not so different from Lady Veronica Field – pointless, meaningless and lonely.

Megan came back a day early with a suitcase full of clothes for me to take on honeymoon. I cringed hiding my face from all the lingerie Megan had bought for me.

“So how was the shoot?” I asked trying to change the subject. “Did Maisy enjoy herself?”

“She enjoyed it more than you did last year,” Megan teased.

“I enjoyed it,” I raised my voice slightly.

“I know,” Megan put her arm around me. “I saw Charlie in Paris.”

I froze, if Charlie had told her anything I would have been thrown out of the house by now I was sure. “Really how was he?” I tried to ask indifferently.

“We didn’t talk long. He looked a mess Shan. I felt sorry for the guy. Whatever is going on in his life he was in pain.”

I tried to fight the tears by wiping my eyes before they fell. “Really, poor guy.”

“He did apologise for everything. He said he may have got it all wrong. He wants to meet up for a drink some time.”

I saw red from pure jealously. “Megan, what are you thinking? He broke your heart and you want to go back for seconds?” I spat at her.

“Easy Shan. I didn’t say a definite yes.” Megan laughed at me. “Still so protective over me,” Megan sat down and hugged me. “I am so lucky we are going to be sisters. Will is the luckiest man alive marrying you.”

“I know,” I forced a smile as I hugged her again it gave me a chance to wipe the tears away trickling down my face. Whatever Charlie had been playing at I did not like it.

The wedding was only two weeks away. It was like counting down to the day of reckoning. Will and I were out with Megan on one of her charity nights. I sat tapping my champagne glass looking up at the crystal chandelier. These red carpet nights out had become so predictable. Will would spend the whole night showing me off like a shiny new toy. I was in fear of losing myself more than ever before.

“You seem quiet tonight, Shannon,” Will commented from our table.

“I wonder why that is?” I glared.

“Shannon, please.” Will touched my hand and I flinched away. “We are to be married in two weeks. I will make you happy. I promise.” Will had tested my patience tonight. Showing me off like a possession. I was furious with him.

“You show me off like some possession. Is that how you see me?”

“No, I see you as the woman of my dreams. We are so right for each other. Our marriage could be so perfect if you just tried.”

“When everything is based on hatred?” Will looked down at the floor. “I will marry you Will, but do not think for one second I will
ever
love you.”

“You act so well around my family. They actually think you love me. Why can’t you live the lie with me Shannon? Make the most of this life I will give you. I will give you the stars if that is what you want.”

“There is only one thing I want Will and you will never let me have it,” I spat, watching Megan make her way back to our table.

“Some party,” Megan giggled sitting next to us. Will wrapped his arms around my waist pulling me closer to him. This time I couldn’t pull away, not with Megan watching. “I have just seen Sir Straton. Do you think Charlie might be here?” Will’s grip on me became painful.

“Perhaps,” my voice was almost a whisper.

“Shall we dance, my love?” Will pulled me from my chair onto the dance floor. I knew he was scanning the crowd as he held me tightly in his arms.

“Will, I doubt Charlie is here.”

“He better not be.”

“We are bound to run into him from time to time.” My heart was skipping as I looked across the crowd of people. Please be here Charlie, I pleaded in my mind.

“If he is here you are not to speak to him. Do I make myself clear?”

“That might look a little odd to Megan. Don’t you think?” I glared. Will was thoughtful for a second his hands gripping me so hard I groaned out in pain.

“The son of a bitch,” I turned in the direction Will was watching. There on the edge of the dance floor was Charlie.

“Will please,” I begged. “Don’t hurt him. He wouldn’t have known I would be here.”

“I know that,” Will smirked darkly. “Kiss me Shannon and I don’t mean a peck on the cheek.” I winced. “Think about Charlie.” My heart sank as my eyes shot to him for the briefest second. “You better make it look convincing. We are getting married in two weeks after all.” I crashed my lips against Will fiercely as a low sob came from my chest. Will responded, overwhelmed by my reaction. His hands gripped my body slowly snaking down my side. I shivered as I felt his hands caress the sides of my chest. I pulled away panting.

“That was quite a show Shannon,” Will teased kissing my lips softly one last time. “I cannot wait until you are my wife. That was quite some taster you gave me.”

I scanned the crowd. Charlie already hated me, but kissing Will like that in front of him caused my heart to shatter.

“If Charlie comes over while we are with Megan you are to act normal with him but madly in love with me of course,” Will whispered in my ear just before we reached our table. I nodded.

“Will,” Megan beamed. “Father just called. He asked if you could ring him. He said it was urgent.” Will nodded looking at me. I knew he was worried because Charlie was here.

“I’ll be fine,” I smiled touching his hand. “I’m not going to do anything stupid while you talk to your father,” I added.

“I won’t be long.” With that Will disappeared into the crowd.

“Charlie is here Megan,” I whispered.

“He is?” Megan stood up looking around, “Do you mind if I go and have a look for him?”

“Sure,” I smiled glad my plan had worked. I knew Charlie would be watching me and with Megan rushing off into the crowd it was only a matter of minutes before Charlie was sat at my side.