Authors: Delia Delaney
Just better looking.
“How does that happen?” I asked Ben as we drove back to Bakersfield that night.
“Our perspectives change,” he said matter-of-factly
. “Or maybe you’re just really
—”
“If you say it I’ll hit you.”
He laughed. “Fine, we won’t talk about your needs.”
I sat there, quietly thinking over the night.
Finally Ben said, “So you think you’d want to see him again?”
“Levi?”
“No, the old man that tried to feel you up at the bowling alley.” I laughed and he said, “Yes, Levi.”
I th
ought about it for a moment. “Nah,
I don’t think so.
At least not to date him.
”
“Why not?”
“Just because I think he’s cute doesn’t mean I need to date him.”
“Why not?”
I groaned. “Would you give it a rest?
Because I’m in love with someone else, Ben.
Why lead another guy on?
Let’s talk about
Autumn
. You said you liked her, but how much? I mean what do you really think of her?”
“Mm, she’s not bad.”
“Not bad?”
“She’s a really cute girl.”
“You talk like you’re in sixth grade.”
“I feel like I am. You’re sitting there pestering me about it. Should I pass you back the note with my response?”
I had to smile at that, but I did say, “Sure. It says, ‘Will you go out with me again?’ ”
He pretended to think about it and asked, “What are the boxes to check?”
I rolled my eyes. “Yes or no.”
“Not maybe?”
“Nope.”
“Fine, then sure, I’d go out with her again.”
I was pleased with the answer because I could tell that
Autumn
liked him as well.
But things
became
pr
etty busy for the next ten days
and neither of us got a chance to go out with
Autumn
or Levi. At least I knew that my excuse
was busyness
since
I had something going on
both times Levi called me
.
And Levi knew from the start that we’d just be hanging out as friends. I hadn’t given him too many details—just that I was in an on/off relationship already.
We did set a date for
something casual
after my trip to San Diego, and I was actually looking forward to it.
Ben only called
Autumn
once, and that was because he promised
me
he would. He basically told her he’d be busy for the next few weeks and that she probably wouldn’t hear from him. Autumn didn’t seem
put
off by it, but I was flustered with him. He had a few opportunities to go out with her but he chose not to.
We left early for San Diego on August 10
th
and we arrived at Hattie Burke’s ranch in La Mesa around noon. Heath and Hattie discussed the two horses while
Ben and I
spent time with them. They both still looked underweight and a little feeble, but they were a much better sight than the pictures
we’d seen of them from before.
After spending the
afterno
on taking care of business,
the evening found us at
Petco
Park for a game between the Padres and the Braves. I had a lot of fun, and it wasn’t
my
first time going to a major league
baseball game,
but spending time with Heath and Ben
made the experience even better.
We got in close to eleven that night. Hattie had arranged for us to stay in a bed-and-breakfast that was just down the road from
her. We each had our own rooms
and mine was right next to Ben’s upstairs. I had just settled into my bed when
I heard a noise in the corner
of the room
. I’ll admit that it scared me—I wasn’t one that liked the dark, especially when I was somewhere new. I remained still, hoping that I was just hearing things, but I heard it again, even louder. It sounded like something moving around in my room; something
living
.
After the third time I heard it, I couldn’t take it any more. I jumped up from my bed and sprinted to the door. After a brief pause in the hallway, I went straight to Ben’s room and just
walked right in
.
“What the—?”
He sat up in bed just as I shut the door behind me, but then it went completely dark so I flipped on the light.
“Ah!”
he
yelled
, shielding his eyes.
“Sorry,” I said, flipping the light off.
“What in the world are you doing?” he asked. I could hear him searching for the lamp and then it switched on. He stared at me for several seconds as I just stood there in front of the door.
“There’s something in my room,” I finally said.
He just looked at me for a moment. “Like what?”
“I don’t know; something moving around.”
He chuckled. “Maybe it’s a big rat.”
“It’s not funny!” I hissed.
He
laughed
again
and then got out of bed. “Fine, you want me to go slay the dragon?”
“Yes.”
He gave me a smug smile as he approached the door, so I opened it for him. Once we were in my room he switched on the light and asked, “Where’d you hear it?”
“Over there,” I pointed.
Ben walked across the room toward the dresser and paused, glancing around it and under it. “Well I don’t see anything.”
I entered the room a little further, very cautiously, and looked toward the closet. “Maybe it was in there,” I said.
Ben went to open the closet door and I observed from a distance. There was nothing there until he moved my backpack and something else moved.
“Ah, h
oly shit!” he yelled, jumping back from the closet.
It made me scream—really loud—and I jumped up onto the bed. “What is it
!?
” I cried.
My heart was racing pretty fast when he bent down and picked something up. With a big smile he held it with two hands and said, “It’s your dragon.”
“What the hell is that thing
!?
” I squealed.
Ben laughed just as Heath and the homeowner entered the room.
“It’s an iguana,” Ben told me. “Surely you’ve seen one of these things, haven’t you?”
“Oh my goodness, you found him!” Vera said, coming across the room. She held out her hands and Ben passed it over.
“That’s your
pet
?” I asked.
“I’m so sorry,” she replied. “He went missing about
three
days ago. He’s never disappeared for that long so I thought he got outside.”
I was still standing on the bed and Ben
smiled
as he held his hand out
to help me
down.
“Are you o
kay?” Vera asked. “I’m so sorry.
”
“No, it’s fine. I just heard something over there and… Well, at least you found him.”
“Yes, thank you so much. And this is
Miles
,” she said, stepping toward me with it.
I
shrunk
behind Ben out of sheer disgust.
“He’s friendly,” Ben said, nudging me for being such a dork.
“Uh, yeah, I see that. I’m sorry,” I said to Vera. “It’s just that it’s late and…”
“Oh, no worries,” she
told me
.
I reached over to pet the thing anyways, just to polite, and Vera smiled.
“Well, I’ll take
Miles
off your hands so you can get back to bed. Again, I’m so sorry.” She turned to Ben and added, “But thank you for finding him.”
She left the room and I let out a huge breath of air.
“You are so afraid of reptiles,” Ben murmured as he shut the closet door.
“So?”
He chuckled and turned to face me. “And what if you ever have to treat one some day?”
“I could manage just fine. It just took me by surprise.”
He
laughed
again and then looked at his dad, whom was still in the room. Heath looked at the both of us, and that’s when I realized what the scene might have looked like to him. Ben was standing there in j
ust a pair of shorts
and I was still in just a tank top and boxers. I could feel myself turn about ten degrees warmer once I figured out what he was thinking.
“Uh, h
e just got here before you did,” I found myself clarifying.
Ben looked at me with confusion
and then glanced at his dad, who seemed to be waiting for Ben to agree.
“Pssh, yeah right,” Ben told him, once he realized what his dad was wondering.
Heath just shrugged his shoulders and left the room.
“Did he honestly think…?”
I laughed and said, “I think your dad is worried his kids are sleeping together.”
I sat on the bed and shook my head. “I am wide awake now. Wanna play cards?”
“Sure,” he shrugged. “I don’t think I could sleep either. Let me at least put a shirt on,” he
winked
.
I chuckled as he left the room and grabbed a pack of cards from my bag. When Ben returned, we sat on my bed and started a game.
Chapter Twenty-Four
It had been too long. Way too long. I had always hoped that Austin would miss me enough to call me again, even if it was just to check on me or say hi. He hadn’t since
the day I left him in Las Vegas
and I was really disappointed. I was also really mad at myself. I had the silly hope that the time apart was what he needed, and that he would realize what he was missing. When that wasn’t the case, I couldn't decide if I was more angry or hurt.
In September I decided to see him.
I was going against logical reasoning and went with my heart instead.
I left him a short message that said I was thinking about coming
to
visit
and I wondered if that would be okay with him.
I was planning to
take some time off anyways and
decided
it might be a good time to see him
.
Marlo had mentioned he’d be in North Carolina for most of the month until his next race.
I was worried about how I’d left things between us the last time, and I knew that Austin could very well not want anything to do with me again. It was a possibility, even though deep down in my hear
t
I knew it wasn’t true. I knew that he loved me, and whatever was going on with him might not last forever, so I even prayed that his return call would deliver good news.
I was in the barn when he called the next morning. I was elated when I saw his name appear on my phone, and then I became nervous. I took a deep breath before I answered, “Hi, Austin.”
“Hey,
Nova
,” he replied.
Just hearing his voice gave me
tingles
.
“I got your message…” he began.
There was an awkward silence
and I
feared
he was thinking of a way to turn me down.
“It was
just an idea, Austin.
I’m going to be taking some time off and I wanted to see you, but if you don’t want me to, I understand and—”
“I do want to see you,” he said quickly.
“You do?”
“Well, yeah, definitely.
When
were
you thinking?”
“Uh, I was considering
around
the sixteenth
—in a couple weeks. The race is in Charlotte that weekend, so if you go, you won’t be traveling far, right?
”
“
Yeah, that’s perfect. But…
I just…” I could hear him sigh. “I just do
n’t want you to be disappointed
, though
…
”
Suddenly I was hit with new wo
rries, like he had a girlfriend
and that she was living
with
him or something. I hadn’t thought of that—well, I’d thought of the possibility that he’d have another girlfriend, and if he did, what would that even be like if I came to visit?
“Austin, I realize y
ou have your own life right now
and that I’m not a part of it. I don’t expect you to change anything, or go out of your way for me… I’d just like to come for a few days and maybe spend some time with you if I can. If you have someone else then I’ll try not to make it awkward, but I’d just like to see you.”