Nuclear Heat (Firework Girls #4) (12 page)

Even on my knees, I’m sinking. My breaths are short and ragged. I’m hot and soaked and ready to ride. His strong arm supports me as he sucks and caresses my breast, working me into a frenzy before swinging over and sucking on the other side. I’m gripping his shoulder hard, my chin tucked down so I can watch his tongue sliding over and encircling my hard nipple. He takes me into his mouth and gives me a long, lingering suck, pulling my breast outward slightly, before letting go and circling my nipple with his tongue again.

“God, Jack,” I breathe.

Still attached to my breast he looks up at me. Then he reaches up, pulls me down slightly by the back of the neck, and makes short work of moving from my nipple to my hot and eager mouth. Jack’s tongue is expertly working with mine. His hand slides up the outside of my thigh, under my skirt, and to my ass, where he squeezes me hard. He slips his fingers under the lacy elastic of my panties, running his fingertips along my soft folds. I hitch my knees farther apart. I’m suddenly dying to find out what else Jack can do with his tongue.

As if reading my mind, he picks me up again and throws my legs around his waist so he can lay me on my back. He’s lowering his face between my legs, which I’m opening wider, and he doesn’t bother removing my panties. He hooks two fingers around the material of the crotch, yanks it to one side, and dives his tongue into me.
Holy god.
My legs spread further and my head arches back in one, joint movement. Jack’s tongue is all over me, licking and sucking and teasing and circling. One hand is gripping my side, just above my hip, and I’m gripping his arm.

I’m exhaling sharply, over and over, curling inward and bringing my legs higher. He stops for a second so he can yank my panties off. I’m aching for him every half second I’m without his touch, but it isn’t long. He dives back in, this time also teasing my opening with the tip of one finger. He circles my clit with his tongue, and slowly penetrates me, gently moving that finger in a circle too, so he’s pressing all around the side of my walls.

Fuck.

“More,” I gasp. “More.” And he does slide into me more, then more. So deep. Then again, with two fingers. “More.” Then again, slowly, with three. Then harder and faster.

Oh god.

Legs trembling as Jack fucks my cunt, I want to cry out, but I’m literally afraid I’m losing my mind, so I bite down my cry. Tongue circling and sucking my clit, fingers pumping me fast, Jack draws me higher and higher. With his free hand, he rubs the hot skin on my stomach and squeezes my breast. I squeeze the other one myself as every part of me that can arch,
is
arching. Neck, back, hips, legs, I’m straining open and trembling as Jack takes me right over the edge.

Lights burst behind my closed eyes as I climax against him. He doesn’t slow and that only makes me come harder, and draws it out longer. I’m still trying to bite back what would be a scream and manage just to whimper instead, over and over again. My body is thrashing helplessly and I don’t think I’ve ever, ever felt anything like this.

It takes a moment, but I finally come down in powerful, crashing waves, until I’m left limp and panting on the bed. I weakly look down at Jack, my mouth parted slightly. He looks up at me and gives me a satisfied half-grin. I have a feeling that man knows exactly what he just did to me. And all I can do is gape back at him and try not to be a puddle.

He wipes his mouth and stands, looking down at me. His chest muscles flex as he undoes his pants and brings out a raging erection.

He whips out his wallet and extracts a shiny, foil packet before tossing his wallet on the floor. I shock myself, because I want to tell him not to bother. I bite my bottom lip. He rolls the condom on and, once again, I’m wondering where in the hell he’s been hiding that massive specimen of manhood he’s got. He strips the rest of the way then, pulling my skirt off too, and crawls up the bed to me, both of us fully nude.

I never realized before what a vulnerable thing that is.

But then I see Jack looking at me and feel him tucking me into an embrace and I feel safe in his presence. Except for the tsunami part. Because as soon as his cock slides into me, oh so slowly, I’m carried away again. I’m all ablaze, again. I’m clinging to him desperately and he’s rocking me with more and more passion, again. His body is weighing heavily on my stomach and bare breasts. His hot cock is filling me completely, hitting my spot perfectly. All I can do is rock my hips too and hungrily taste his neck and shoulders and hang on for the ride. I feel like I should be showing him I actually have some moves, but Jack’s rendered me helpless. And in some ways, this is all I want. Him, inside me, holding me, sweeping me downstream even though it terrifies me.

He hooks one arm under my knee and brings me up higher, giving us even more friction.

I’m gasping again. I press my forehead against his shoulder, my wet pussy getting hotter and hotter as he makes me climb again.

“Do you like that, sweetheart?” he says thickly.

My heart swoops at the sound of his voice. I nod urgently against him, whimpering because I’m climbing even higher.

“I loved eating you out,” he says, the pleasure in my body spiking hard just at the sound of his voice. “You tasted so good, Sam.”

“Oh god,” I bite out, because I’m getting ready to come. “Fuck, Jack.”

“Damn right,” he says.

His arm that’s wrapped around me readjusts so he’s gripping the top of my shoulder from underneath. He’s pulling down on it firmly, so he can ram me even harder. I throw my head back.
Oh god, so close.
I’m hotter and higher as his thick cock works me. I curl in again, my whole body straining, my cunt pulsing.
So close.
He slides in and out of me, slick with my juices, the base of his stomach pounding my engorged clit again and again and
oooh Gooood
. My climax takes me hard, thrashing me helplessly as Jack continues to ride me.

Oh fuck.

I clutch his back and bite his shoulder as my pussy pulses in ecstasy. Again and again, waves of pleasure crash through my body and I’m whimpering and panting helplessly. Jack’s getting harder and pumping me faster. The grips of my orgasm start their first release and I gasp for breath. Then Jack climaxes too. His shuddering movements push me back up into a fresh wave and I contract hard around his pulsing cock.

We ride the waves out together, his rhythms slowing. Soon, he’s going so slow, he’s almost caressing my channel with his still-firm cock. Just to make the devastation of the tsunami complete, he puts his mouth on me and gives me a deep, lingering kiss I can feel all the way to the bottom of my soul.

When he finally pulls away, we’re softly panting, and looking one another in the eye. He’s not moving, not doing anything to my body really, but I feel myself falling deep into those beautiful brown eyes and still being swept away. It goes on and on, what Jack can do to me.

I close my eyes and tuck my forehead into his neck. His embrace around me tightens. I grip him harder too.

“You’re amazing, Sam,” he says.

I didn’t even do anything,
I think. But I look up at him anyway, and let him kiss me again. It’s so sweet and so tender, I melt right into the mattress, but I somehow gather strength enough to kiss him back.

We’re lying in bed on our sides, facing one another. We’re still nude, but the covers are draped loosely over our waists. His arm is under my head and I’m resting my hand on his bicep. His other hand is resting on the mattress, his fingers lightly caressing my stomach. Our calves are intertwined gently.

I’m feeling a little wobbly on the inside, after everything that’s happened. I think he is too, because as we talk, we’re struggling a bit to find our feet.

Maybe it’s because there are things we’re not saying. At least, there are things I’m not saying. Because I can’t stop thinking about what he’s doing to me, how overpowering it is to be with him. It’s a little easier in this moment, because I’m not trying to consume him, all while he’s consuming the hell out of me. But even just lying here he’s this powerful presence, and I feel on the edge of something bigger than me.

How do I tell Jack those things?

Then there’s the other thing. The terrible thing we did. I want to know how he feels about that. I want to know what he’s been going through since then and how he feels now. But I don’t know if he wants to talk about it yet. Or ever.

Then there are all the things I’m flat afraid to ask about. I don’t understand what Emily was to him. I don’t know what
I
am to him, now that we’ve crossed this line. I really don’t know what we’re doing.

And I don’t know how to start talking about any of it.

It doesn’t help that I see something weighing on him.

So I give voice to the one thing in my heart I feel I can say aloud. “I missed you, Jack.”

His face softens. “Did you?”

“Of course,” I say softly. “Dork.”

There’s a brief smile. “I missed you, too.” Then, he’s back to looking heavy.

My fingers absently caress his bicep. He’s taken to watching his own fingers, as they trace lightly on my stomach and my scar, sending ripples of sensation all over me.

“Do you...” he pauses and I search his face. He’s not looking at me on purpose. I have a feeling that whatever he’s getting ready to say, it’s the thing he’s needed to say since he got here. It’s the thing he couldn’t say in the kitchen, and it’s something that’s been lingering with him. “Do you see me differently now?” he asks.

He glances at me hesitantly, but I don’t get his meaning.

“Because of before,” he clarifies.

Ah. “The fallen man,” I say, understanding now, but his face falls and I instantly regret it.

“I really, really wish I could go back and do things differently,” he says. “Not... being with you. That I’d keep.” I feel a warm flush slide over my body. “But I wish I could go back and not be with her. I should’ve broken up with her before. It wasn’t fair to her and she didn’t deserve to be with someone who wasn’t really with her. And she
really
didn’t deserve... you know.”

God, this is eating him up. I knew it would.

“And now... now I’m always going to be that guy.”

I sigh. There’s no easy fix to this, but I can’t stand that he’s re-writing who he thinks he is. “Jack—”

“Don’t try to tell me it wasn’t a big deal,” he says firmly.

“I wasn’t going to,” I say, just as firmly. “It was stupid. Awful. I wish I could take it back, too.”

“You didn’t do anything wrong,” he says, frowning.

“Yes, I did.” He looks ready to argue with me, but I hold up my hand to stop him. “Hey, you feel bad, and I feel bad, because it was bad. It was.” I lower my hand, resting it on his chest now. “And you’re never going to look back on that and think it was okay. We fucked up.”

“I fucked up.”

I sigh. “I can see you’re determined to beat yourself up over it. Well, that’s fine. Maybe you need to do that for a while. But at some point you’re going to have to let it be in your past. You’re going to have to move on. And you’re going to have to allow yourself to understand that
one
moment, even a moment like that, doesn’t necessarily change everything else about you.”

“I really hate that I did that.”

“I know, sweetheart. I hate it, too.”

“I feel like....” he brings his fingertips up to my cheek, and watches as he strokes it. “Like I don’t deserve to be happy now.”

His eyes meet mine, and even in the middle of a conversation like this, there’s that swept away feeling again. I swear to god, I really don’t know if I can handle this. I feel like if I don’t hang on to something with both hands, it’s going to tear me to shreds. But I don’t know what the fuck to hang on to.

But there’s one thing I know, and that’s this: if anyone deserves to be happy, it’s Jack.

“You can be happy,” I say. “It’s okay. I promise. It doesn’t make you a horrible person. Emily’s going to go on and live her life and do all kinds of things and have happiness and sorrow that has nothing to do with you. Her life doesn’t revolve around you now. She’s just... going to go on and live her life because that’s what people do. That’s what you have to do, too.”

“But...” His hand stills, warm and soft on my cheek. There’s so much pain in his voice and on his face. My heart just breaks. “Do you see me differently now?”

I shake my head slowly. I do see him differently now, but not for the reason he thinks. “No, sweetie. I don’t see you differently.”

“You promise?”

God, Jack. Stop this.
I bring my hand to his cheek and caress him gently. His eyes lock on mine, hurting and desperate. “I promise,” I say. He blinks at me, his expression unchanged.

I slowly scoot closer to him and hold his face in my hand. I give him a gentle kiss. “I promise,” I whisper.

His expression starts to soften. He’s giving way, but not there yet. I kiss him again, and this time I linger. I put every ounce of love I feel for this man into that kiss. My own tenderness surprises me. I didn’t know I had it in me. I swear, I didn’t.

I pull away, and there’s what I wanted to see. He believes me now. “I promise,” I say again, holding his eyes.

His arms come around me, one hand on the back of my head. He brings me to him for a kiss, and this time, he’s the one in control. He kisses me firmly, deeply and I kiss him back. He overpowers me. It’s crazy how quickly it happens.

Still kissing me, he rolls me onto my back, his weight on top of me. His hardness is gentle and firm against my thigh. He’s gentle and firm on me everywhere. He pulls away and looks at me, his hand stroking my cheek. “I do want to be happy,” he says. “I want to be happy with you, Sam.”

My heart’s pounding out of my chest.
I’m scared,
I want to say, but he’s pulling, pulling, pulling and I’m going right along.

“Is that all right?” he asks quietly, those eyes holding me.

I give a slight nod, terrified, then kiss him. Because even though he terrifies me, there’s so much comfort in him, too.