Oak, Sophie - Found in Bliss [Nights in Bliss, Colorado 5] (Siren Publishing Ménage Everlasting) (17 page)

What the hell was she doing? She wasn’t in their league.

Laura reached out and touched her hair, commanding her attention. “Calm down. I can feel your anxiety from here, and if Scott Lang was in this bar right now, I would beat him to death with my shoe. Look at me. You’re beautiful. So beautiful. Did you know that Wolf Meyer told me he wanted to ask you out, but he cared too much about Caleb to hurt him that way? That’s three ungodly gorgeous men who want you.”

Both of Laura’s men snorted and started talking about what a douchebag Wolf Meyer was. As Wolf had been dating Laura before they came back, Holly could forgive them.

“Did he really say that?”

“Ask him yourself,” Laura challenged. “Though I wouldn’t ask him when Alexei was around. That man looks scary. And, again, hot.”

Alexei stood, his tall body matched only by Zane’s, who seemed to be struggling with his telephone. Alexei barked something toward Caleb, who got out of his seat, too, and stood beside Alexei, both men staring across the bar toward her.

And then Alexei began walking. There was no doubt where he was heading.

“He’s going to tell me he’s leaving,” Holly said, her heart aching. She’d fucked everything up.

“It has been a really long time since you had sex. Your instincts are way off.” Laura shook her head. “That man is not leaving, but don’t be surprised if he doesn’t bother to wait until you get home. You yell if he gets too rough with you.”

Laura slid out, standing by the bench as Alexei approached. “She’s all yours, buddy. Break her heart and I’ll feed you your balls on a skewer.”

Alexei nodded briefly at Laura who crossed the short space between booths and slid in next to Cam. Alexei turned to Holly. “You will come with me.”

“Alexei, just say what you want to say.” She knew when she was about to get dumped. It was better to just get it over with. It would be a relief. “Just say it and leave, okay.”

Caleb walked up behind Alexei. They both loomed over her. “What did she say?”

“It doesn’t matter. Anything she say now is fear speaking, and I will not listen.” His hand came out and grasped her wrist, pulling her toward him. She was pulled out of the booth, her heels hitting the ground. Like gravity forcing her forward, she landed in Alexei’s arms with a thud.

“Alexei, what are you doing?”

He said nothing, simply leaned over and shoved his right arm under her knees, hauling her up like she weighed nothing at all.

Holly hooked an arm around his thick neck for support and looked over his shoulder at Caleb, who appeared to be following along. “Caleb, what is he doing?”

Alexei walked toward the exit. She looked around the tavern, but no one seemed to be willing to help her out. Rafe and Cam each stood and put an arm around Laura as they smiled at Alexei. Nope. No help there. Zane was still on the phone. Hope looked up, her face open and wide, but she didn’t stand up.

“Alexei, you should put me down.” Everyone was watching her.

Alexei’s face closed. He gave her absolutely nothing. “If you wished to have say, you would not have walked away. You will learn. I love Bliss, but I will not allow the chaos to change my plans for evening.”

“Caleb, talk to him.” She looked over Alexei’s shoulder. Caleb was following behind them.

“I can’t. We talked about this. We decided to form a united front. It’s the only way to survive and thrive, sweetheart.”

“Are you serious?” He looked serious. He looked really serious. Caleb’s face was set in stark lines as Alexei kicked open the door and walked out into the night.

“I’m dead serious. We have to stick together or you’ll make us crazy. I don’t know how this whole thing is going to work, but I do know that the guys need to stick together or the girl will make us crazy.”

Holly felt her mouth open. Was that what they had really been talking about? Had they really been strategizing about how best to handle her? “You said you just want sex.”

Caleb stopped, distance growing between them because Alexei kept walking. She could see Caleb’s face fall and wished she hadn’t asked the question.

“Are you trying to drive him away?” Alexei asked, his voice tight.

“I don’t like the idea that he just wants sex.” It hurt her heart.

“He can’t give anything else now. He needs time. He needs to ease into relationship. You are earning much punishment,
dushka
.” Alexei’s words were clipped, his walk a staccato rhythm. “I worked hard to get him here and you push away. Ten more.”

Holly felt her eyes go wide. “Ten more what?”

“Punishments. Holly, I am man. I will be indulgent, but can only allow you to push so far. Make decision now. Spanking here or at home. If at home, then you will go and talk to Caleb. You will make him happy and invite him to come with us.”

Caleb stood by the door, looking like a really gorgeous puppy that wasn’t sure if he should follow the pack or stay behind and die. “I’ll talk to him. Are you really going to spank me? Don’t I have a say in that?”

“No. You have no say in punishment. Are you going to tell me you didn’t lie about what happened today? Caleb lied? You didn’t almost die in car accident?”

Crap. She hadn’t told him about that because it didn’t matter. “I’m fine. I didn’t want to bother you.”

Every step they took brought them farther away from Caleb. He stood at the door, watching them. Panic was starting to set in. He wasn’t following them. He was staring, but not following.

“Bother? You bother me. Tell me how you would feel if I almost die and don’t bother to mention it to you? Someone try to shoot at me, but I tell you no problems today. I don’t care enough to worry you. How would that make you feel? People who care don’t treat each other with so little concern.”

Okay. She hadn’t meant it like that. God, why was Caleb standing there? “Please let me go talk to him.”

Alexei stopped and looked down at her. “Why? You didn’t want him. You don’t want me.”

Oh, she’d seriously fucked up. “I want you, Alexei. I’m worried that you don’t want me.”

His face was a block of granite. “You are one who walked away. I change whole life because of you. You can’t question me. Caleb change because of you. He talk to me because he wants you.”

What had she done? How much would Scott cost her? Laura was right. She was allowing her disastrous marriage to affect her current life. “Please, let me down.”

“No. I’m not going to let you go.” His arms tightened around her.

“Please. I won’t go. I’ll take what you give me, but let me get him.” She couldn’t stand the thought of Caleb being left behind. She couldn’t stand it. This was what she’d dreaded. She couldn’t make the choice. She needed them both. She needed two men—both of whom were out of her league. Caleb had stated plainly that he only wanted sex. Alexei was too beautiful to stay. She couldn’t keep Scott, and he didn’t come close to Alexei.

But Scott would never have risked his life to save another human being. He wouldn’t spend his days saving people who couldn’t pay him. Maybe it was time to understand that Scott had nothing on Alexei and Caleb. He didn’t have their heart. He didn’t come close to their souls. Maybe she had to believe that there was more to life than the way a person looked. Maybe she had to take into account the life a person had lived. The choices a person had made.

Caleb had chosen to be a doctor. He’d chosen to help people who couldn’t pay him. Alexei had given up fifteen years of revenge to save a couple of women he hadn’t even known. He’d turned his life around because he couldn’t lose his soul.

What had she done? She’d hidden from life. She’d run from the fight. She’d taken what was given her and never thought to question it. She hid from the good things in life.

“Please let me down.”

Alexei set her on her feet. “Don’t cry,
dushka
. I will stop. I will be gentle.”

Her heels hit the pavement. She immediately put her hands up, cradling his face. “Please don’t. Alexei, I want you. I want the real you. Spank me. I’ll take it. I want the freaky you who can’t speak English and isn’t sure how to deal with American women. I want that Alexei. And I want Caleb, who’s too much of a dumbass to know he wants more than sex.”

He did. He wouldn’t be standing there with that sad-sack look on his face if he didn’t. He would have walked away. Was her insecurity worth more than their feelings, their affection? Maybe it would fall apart. Maybe they would each find someone else—but tonight they wanted her. What did it make her if she didn’t even try?

A coward.

Tears pricked at her eyes. “I want you, Alexei.”

His whole stance softened, as though her words had power over his physical state. “I want you, Holly. I’ve dreamed of you. I’ve longed for you.”

She couldn’t fucking ask for more than that. What was she doing? She’d asked the question a thousand times since he’d walked back into her life. Why hadn’t she asked herself the question that mattered? Did she want him? God, yes. Was she brave enough to try?

She went on her tiptoes. “Forgive me.”

“Always,
dushka
. I will always forgive.” His hands threaded through her hair. “You will find me very forgiving.”

She touched her lips to his. “Thank you. I need to talk to Caleb.”

His lips curved up. “Yes. Bring him home.”

She turned, Alexei’s strength uplifting her own. She was through letting Scott and his family win. She was through allowing the past to rob her of her future. She was scared. She was out of her mind scared, but she couldn’t leave Caleb standing there. She couldn’t.

Heels grinding into the gravel, she walked toward him. His face was frozen in a blank stare as though he would accept whatever she offered him. It hurt her heart. She’d probably had that expression a thousand times. Maybe she understood Caleb better than she thought.

She came to a stop in front of him, staring at his gorgeous face. He was male-model beautiful, and he wanted her. Maybe he just wanted her for sex, but it was more than he seemed to want from anyone else. It struck her suddenly that she couldn’t control him. She could only give what she was willing and pray it was enough.

There was something lovely and amazing about that.

She was jumping off a cliff and hoping that he would catch her. If he didn’t, she would fall, but at least she would have tried. She wouldn’t regret the attempt. She would regret never trying.

She held out her hand. “Caleb, please come home with us.”

She used “us” because that was what she wanted. She wanted Caleb and Alexei. She wanted a weird little family. She’d told herself she just wanted Alexei for a hot affair, but she threw that notion to the wind. She wanted him forever. She wanted both of them. She might not get them, but damn, it wouldn’t be because she hadn’t tried.

“I’m not good at relationships.” Caleb’s eyes found the ground beneath his feet.

“I have a divorce under my belt and nothing serious since. I’ve had two lovers my whole life, Caleb, and one of them was a drunken hookup with my high school lab partner. I don’t know anything about this except the fact that I want you. I want Alexei, too. I want you both. I might not be any good at this, but I want to try.”

His eyes softened. “You can’t believe that.”

“I do. Caleb, I haven’t had a relationship with any man since I got divorced, and to tell you the truth, I don’t think I was very good at sex. My own husband didn’t want me.” He’d wanted just about everyone else. Secretaries. Nannies. Hotel maids. Never his own wife for the last three years of their marriage.

He reached out for her hand, his callused fingers sliding against her own. “You’re wrong. You’re so fucking gorgeous, Holly. I want you so bad I ache with it.”