Oceans of Fire (19 page)

“It’s human, Abbey, not stupid. You loved this man and you wanted to help him. Using magic takes steps, we all know that, but all of us have skipped those steps in the heat of the moment. I imagine it was very emotional for everyone concerned.”

“I asked him if he was guilty. But I didn’t ask what his crime was or what he had done to the child, I simply asked if he was guilty. The other officers were shouting questions and Aleksandr was using his cold, very frightening voice and I was just so certain that I could make him confess his guilt. And I did. He said yes and then he calmly reached over and took a gun one of the officers had so conveniently laid on the table and he shot himself in the head.”

“Oh, my God!” Kate was horrified. “Honey, I’m so sorry.”

“Abigail…” Sarah began.

Abigail shook her head. “You know what his crime was? He fell asleep while he was supposed to be watching his child. He was drinking and he got sleepy and he lay down and she left the house to play with her friends. The real killer snatched her. Of course he felt guilty. What parent wouldn’t? He was the child’s father—not that I knew that at the time. They didn’t tell me and, worse, I didn’t think to ask.” She looked at her sisters, tears shimmering in her eyes. “Even when he said he was guilty, I knew he wasn’t, but I didn’t have the time to say it. He just went for the gun.” She lifted her hands. “I had his blood all over me. Some nights I wake up and I’m still covered and I can’t wash it off no matter how hard I try.”

“You have nightmares,” Hannah said. “I hear you crying but your door won’t open for me.”

Abigail held out her hand to her sister. “I’m sorry, Hannah. I know that distressed you, but I just couldn’t face anyone. I couldn’t tell you what I’d done.”

“Is that the reason you won’t have anything to do with Aleksandr?” Joley asked.

Abigail let out her breath. “I don’t know. I only know that it was one of the most horrifying moments in my life and I expected him to comfort me—to do something—but all of the officers began talking really fast, especially the one whose gun it had been. The next thing I know I was dragged out of the room and Aleksandr just stood there and watched them take me away.”

Sarah frowned. “I don’t understand. Were they accusing you of something? What did he do?”

“He stood there so still, his eyes as cold as ice, and he watched them drag me out of the interrogation room as if I were a suspect in one of his murders. I was covered in the poor man’s blood and they took me right past his wife. I looked at her and she was staring at me so hopelessly. She’d lost her daughter and in a few minutes someone would come and tell her about her husband.“

“That rat bastard!” Joley exploded. “And all this time I was harboring a plot to get the two of you back together.”

“Toads aren’t good enough for him,” Hannah declared.

Sarah held up her hand for silence. “Abbey, honey, I know this is hard for you to tell us, but we need to know everything that happened to you in order to help.”

Abigail shook her head. “So you and Libby and everyone can make me feel better about what I did? I can’t take it back. That small moment in time when I walked into that room so filled with my own importance. So certain I’d catch a killer and Aleksandr would be grateful to me. So sure that my magic was wielded with every bit of power and expertise as all of yours.” She leaned back, fighting tears. “We never can just stop time. Or take moments back. Life doesn’t work that way, does it?”

“No, it doesn’t, Abbey,” Kate said. “But we go on. And we learn from our experiences. Tell us the rest. Tell us what happened to you.”

“They interrogated me for two days and nights. Apparently the officer who was careless with his gun accused me of upsetting the prisoner with my questions. They were horrible, hitting me and shouting.” She broke off, shaking her head. “I thought they were going to kill me. They wanted to blame someone for the poor man’s death and I guess I was the perfect scapegoat. I didn’t have anyone to stand up for me and they wouldn’t allow me to call the embassy.”

“How terrifying. That doesn’t make any sense,” Libby said.

“They didn’t even let me change my clothes. I was so frightened and I kept thinking Aleksandr would come and get me out of there, but he didn’t.“ Abigail looked down at her hands. ”I was so far away from all of you and too ashamed to reach out. I was so scared, but I was more afraid you’d find out what I’d done and never be able to forgive me. I still can’t forgive myself.“

“And you can’t forgive him,” Sarah said quietly.

Abigail shook her head. “Somewhere deep inside me, I know it’s selfish to want him to put me first. To want him to comfort me when my world has fallen apart.”

“It isn’t selfish, Abbey,” Joley said. “It’s human. Normal. You’re not a martyr, you’re a woman. Of course you would want your man to put you first and, for God’s sake, help you out when you need it.” She clenched her fist. “I wish I’d known all this when I was letting him charm me. I would have punched his lights out.”

The wind came up from the sea, howling as it battered the house. The sisters looked at Hannah. She shrugged. “It happens when I’m really angry, a leftover childhood thing. I can’t always control it.”

“Do we want to know what they did to you while they interrogated you or are Hannah and Joley going to go psycho on us?” Kate asked.

Abigail shook her head. “I’m not going to talk about that. It was horrible and I was more scared than I’ve ever been in my life, even more frightened than all the times I’ve been diving and run into sharks.”

Elle closed her eyes and turned her face away, tears on her lashes and running down her face. “They hit you over and over. One man slapped your face a lot.” Her voice sounded distant and there were lines of strain around her mouth. “They threatened you and made lewd comments. They called you witch and they tried to get other names out of you. The man slapping you wanted you to name Aleksandr, to say he left the gun there on purpose.” Elle opened her eyes and looked straight into Abbey’s eyes.

Abigail felt her heart jolt painfully. It was always that way when facing Elle. She looked so young with her vivid red hair and her pale skin, but when you looked into her eyes, they were too old and filled with knowledge, filled with things no one else saw.

“You never said his name.”

“No, I didn’t.”

“Why?” Elle asked softly.

Abigail shook her head. “I don’t know.”

“Yes, you do.”

“I loved him.”

Elle sighed. “You did love him very much, but that wasn’t why you didn’t name him. You were angry and frightened and you’re as stubborn as hell, Abbey. That wasn’t the reason you refused to give him up. And it wasn’t because you wanted him to save you. After the first three hours of that man standing over you, spitting and slapping and threatening you, it didn’t matter to you if Aleksandr saved you or not.”

“I was angry,” Abigail whispered.

“At all of them,” Elle said. “Somewhere inside you is that answer. When you get past anger and disappointment and you let go of guilt, you’ll know why. And then it got worse, didn’t it, because you suspected Aleksandr had to do something terrible in order to get you released.”

Abigail nodded. “The men interrogating me suddenly were pulled from the room and others took their place, but they didn’t talk to me. They whispered back and forth and they acted very different—fearful—and they didn’t ask me anything at all, just whispered together, clearly very afraid. They seemed to be constructing some story to tell their superiors. I knew something terrible had happened.”

“You…”

“No!” Abigail shook her head at Elle. “Don’t say it. Don’t even think it. I don’t want to know what Aleksandr did to get me out of there. If he killed someone to get me free, if someone else died because of me, I couldn’t live with it.”

“Abbey…” Sarah started.

“No, I mean it. I can hardly breathe sometimes thinking about that poor woman without her husband and daughter. I can’t go there. Don’t ask me.”

“And maybe that’s what you run from in Aleksandr,” Elle said. “Not his mistakes, but his strength. The very things you relied on and admired in him are the things you fear the most.”

Abigail couldn’t look away from Elle. “You knew. All this time, you knew.”

Elle shrugged. “I know a lot of things. People are entitled to their secrets, Abbey, even my sisters. If you had wanted us all to know, you would have said so. All of us felt your unhappiness and you knew that we did, but you didn’t give an explanation, nor should you have to do so.” She flashed a wan smile. “It isn’t always easy or comfortable catching glimpses of my sisters’ lives. We all want privacy, me included. I’ve learned to keep my mouth shut.”

Libby immediately reached out and put her hand on Elle’s shoulder. “You bear such a terrible burden, Elle.”

“We all do,” Sarah said. “We need to have more compassion for one another. I’m ashamed to say I’ve never given any thought to how Elle must feel knowing things about us we don’t want known.” She looked at her youngest sister. “It must make you feel different and alone, just as Abigail does with her gift. And Libby. Everyone wants something from Libby everywhere she goes. There’s no respite, not even here when our home should be a refuge.”

“Each of us has to be careful with our magic,” Kate said. “And Abbey, all of us have made mistakes. We can’t be perfect, no matter how hard we try.” She flashed a brief smile at Hannah and Joley. “Some of us don’t even want to try.”

Joley gave a small salute. “Way to go, sister!” She held up her palm for Hannah to high-five.

“That would be us,” Hannah agreed.

Sarah tapped Hannah’s foot. “Keep it up, smart one—Mom and Dad are coming home for the wedding and they might have a few things to say to you.”

“No one would dare rat me out,” Hannah said complacently.

“Just so you know, Hannah, and everyone else who might have retaliation and vengeance on their mind,” Joley said, “the house let Aleksandr in the other night.”

A collective gasp went up and the sisters all stared at Abigail. She covered her face. “I know. I know. Something had to have gone wrong. We didn’t work the spell right and it failed.” She lifted her face. “I had the doors to my balcony wide open, maybe that was the problem.”

“Oh, Abbey,” Hannah said, “I’m so sorry.”

“It just can’t be him. I don’t care what the prophecy says and I don’t care whether the house let him in or not. I don’t want to see him or speak to him or have anything whatsoever to do with him,” Abigail declared.

“Oh, no,” Sarah said. She glanced at the phone and made a face.

As if on cue, the phone rang.

“Don’t answer it,” Abigail said. She looked at Sarah. “It’s him, isn’t it? It’s Aleksandr.”

Sarah nodded.

“Let it ring,” Abigail instructed.

“I don’t mind telling him to go fry himself,” Hannah volunteered. “And I could over the phone.”

“Hannah,” Sarah warned. “You wouldn’t want to do anything you would regret. Abbey, answer the phone.”

Abigail would have refused had it been any other than Sarah, or Elle, but both had the gift of “sight” at times. She picked it up. “What do you want?”

“Nice to hear your voice too. Meet me in half an hour at McKerricher Park.”

“I’m not going to meet you anywhere, Sasha.”

Aleksandr sighed. “Do we have to do this every time? I don’t have time to argue with you. Meet me there in half an hour. We’re going kayaking, so dress appropriately. The weatherman is predicting four-foot swells so we might get lucky and be able to investigate along the coast for caves the smugglers may be using. They had to have hidden their boat somewhere and I’m going to find out where.”

“I’m not going.”

“You know the coastline better than anyone. I can’t go alone, Abbey, and you know it. This has to be done.”

“Take Jonas or Jackson, his deputy. They both know the coastline. Or better yet, call the coast guard. They’ll help you out.“ Abigail rubbed at her throbbing temple. Why was it every time she heard his voice she lost her resolve?

“Abbey, we’ve already wasted too much time. If we don’t go now, the ocean could be too rough tomorrow. I’ve got a car already waiting at the harbor so we can kayak along the coastline at least as far as Noyo. You don’t want me to go alone. It’s dangerous and I could get lost. I’ve picked up a couple of ocean kayaks and if we leave now the ocean is relatively calm and we can get this done.”

“I really detest you, Sasha. You know darn well you aren’t going to get lost following the coastline.” She glanced at her watch. “I’ll be there in forty minutes. And next time don’t call me.”

“Fine, I’ll just pick you up next time and save myself the argument.” He hung up before she could reply.

Abigail slammed the phone down and glared at Sarah. “He’s impossible.”

“You caved, Abbey!” Joley was horrified. “You just agreed to everything he wanted and he wasn’t even all that nice about it. What is wrong with women when they fall in love?” She and Hannah and Elle shook their heads.

“I’m not in love,” Abigail asserted. “I just want him to finish his business here and go away.”

“So why didn’t you fill in the gaps for Jonas when Aleksandr told him exactly nothing this morning,” Joley asked.

“Don’t you need to go back to bed?” Abigail demanded. “I don’t know why I didn’t tell Jonas anything. Aleksandr does a lot of work that might put his life in jeopardy. I’m not about to make a mistake by talking too much about things I know nothing about. I want him suffering and pining away for me and I want him on his knees begging forgiveness, which I’ll
never
give him, but I don’t want him hurt.”

“That makes perfect sense to me,” Hannah declared.

“I think we can all agree on that,” Sarah said.

Chapter 8