Oceans Submerged: Book Two, the Oceans Series (9 page)

Law shifted in his seat and when I turned my face to look at him, his eyes were locked on Ocean.

Shit this was going to be bad!

Law reached into his pocket, pulling out his phone. He immediately started texting someone. I didn’t bother to look over and see who because there was no point. I was not going home with them anymore, so what else was there for me to know other than my sentence in rehabilitation hell had finally come.

Of course, I could have actually succeeded in killing myself and this wouldn’t even matter. I tried to change my frame of mind in order to deal with this but who was I kidding? I was a girl who cut herself to make the emotional hurt fade away only to return stronger and bolder after each cut.

The limo made another turn and vomit rose up from my stomach, through my esophagus resting at the base of my throat, waiting for the most opportune moment to hurl out of me like a demon spirit being exercised.

I felt the tires underneath us come to a slow and peaceful stop. I turned to look into Law’s eyes. They were red and filled with unshed tears. I gave him the best smile I could muster and one of his tears sprang free.

With my good hand, I reached up and wiped it away. Leaning in closer I whispered into his ear. “Don’t be such a pussy Law. I thought you were my life coach and life coaches don’t show weakness. I need you to be strong for me, Law. Can you do that? Can you beat me down emotionally, spiritually, and physically until I get it through my beautiful thick skull that I am loved not only by you but also Ocean, Layla and Unk. Most importantly, I need to love myself. Can you do it Law?”

He smiled wide as two more tears slipped free. “If that’s what you need from me. Then Sunshine, I got one hell of an order of in your face disaster therapy coming right up. Of course I can do it, I’m Lawrence Nathaniel-fucking-Hawthorne, you know?”

I gave him a wink and he kissed my forehead, taking a long pause breathing me in. He took in an unsteady breath as he scooted towards the door opening it, slipping out, and closing it gently behind him. I caught a glimpse of a huge facility when he opened the door. My prison was only feet away.

Could I do this? Can I do this?

I looked at Ocean, whose movements stilled. He had his ear buds still in but his eyes where no longer closed. He was looking at me with wild and tortured eyes. He wasn’t just looking at me. Ocean was taking a mental picture of me the way I was right now.

I hoped the picture was only to remind him of me but with the defeat playing on his features, I knew it was to remember the girl he once loved, the once upon a time girl he almost made it to happily ever after with.

I braced my right hand on to the seat, attempting to scoot over closer to the door facing my impending doom outside of the limos doors.

Before I could lift my ass off the seat, Ocean sprang up and entrapped me between his hot bulging arms as he placed one on either side of me.

I looked into his eyes, searching for any trace of familiarity that was my Ocean. What I saw instead were pools of dark whiskey colored eyes that were glazed over; they were filled with pain, hurt, anger, love, regret, blame, and loneliness.

“Let me help you.” his voice was low, raspy, and pained.

Ocean was struggling to think, see, and breathe. I could feel it in my soul. I could feel his unraveling.

I nodded my head, not daring to put up a fight or any form of resistance. Before he moved to the door, he opened his mouth to say something… maybe his last words before our tragic goodbye but instead he snapped his mouth shut.

I looked down at my lap wanting to say something, anything that would give him hope. But, if what I’d already said since I woke up didn’t mean anything then nothing was enough to give him the hope I needed him to have in me.

He cleared his throat still searching for the words. “Liv.”

“Yes, Ocean.”

“I love you Livie. I will always love you.”

“I know Ocean, I will always love you too and I will always be in love with you.”

He lowered his head, seeking the comfort of his favorite place to find solace. He gently kissed his spot on my neck then pulled away to gently kiss my lips, cheeks, my eyelids, nose, and my forehead.

“You just about covered all the bases.” I joked, trying to lighten the painful energy between us.

“Yeah, looks like it. Let’s go.” He shifted to the door pulling the door handle but stopping before he could completely open the door. “Liv.”

“Yes, Ocean.”

“Say you meet someone, a guy, a guy that can help you get through this when I can’t. I won’t be mad. You deserve the best so take it if it comes.”

I opened my mouth to argue but nothing came out. I didn’t want anyone else to come along; there was no one else that could come along after Ocean.

He was the beginning, middle, and end of my life. There were no substitutes or alternates. It was just Ocean Grant Hawthorne.

I nodded at him just to acknowledge his request. My heart was set on fighting for him so I didn’t give what he asked of me a second thought.

He opened the door and I got a view of Law holding his mom under his arm and Ocean’s father standing next to her with a warm and caring smile on his face. I wonder if when he looked at me he felt like he was looking at the daughter he’d lost. Ocean stepped out and extended his arms to scoop me up and out of the limo.

And this is when shit got real… too real.

Chapter Sixteen

Ocean

I could sense that Liv only agreed to take the chance if she met someone better while she was here as a way to please me. I knew she wouldn’t let me go so easily, or at all, from the look of commitment and promise in her eyes. That look scared me half to death when I recognized it. It should have made me feel better, but thinking about the person she would be coming home to… well I didn’t want her to give that side of me a chance.

I wasn’t worth it when I was hell bent on destroying everything and everyone in my path and in my pathetic life. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I hurt her the ways I knew I could and would if she let me take it that far.

The hot and stale air of summer slammed into my face as I exited the limo. When I saw the facility behind Law, my dad, and Aunt Layla I wanted to jump back in the limo and hold the driver at gun point and demand he get us the hell out of here.

Pulling Liv out of the limo unraveled my last pinch of sense and the ability to keep myself calm. My heart began to pound as my head swam violently. I couldn’t hear a word or any background noise due to the pounding of my heart in my ears.

I held her close to me the way wild animals held their young in order to protect them from an outside threat. Right now the outside threat consisted of my family standing in front of me and the two huge fucking security guards walking out the front door of the facility.

I looked at Law who gave me a half ass smile as he looked at Liv then down at the ground. My aunt Layla had a pained look in her eyes but it was directed at me instead of Liv. That’s when I knew they were prepared for my breakdown that was going to happen in five, four, three…

Law stepped forward, reaching out slowly towards Liv. “Come on Sunshine, they’re waiting for you.”

I looked down at Liv who had the same panicked look in her eyes as I did. Her lips were trembling and her eyebrows here pulled down tight as she fought to keep her breathing under control.

FUCK!

I turned my body to face her, tilting her chin up and forcing her to look at me. “Liv, I love you, you know that right? Please tell me you fucking know that because I can’t do this. Baby, I’m drowning.”

I pulled her lips to mine, kissing her softly and carefully like she was a ghost about to disappear into a distant and faded memory at any moment.

Law stepped closer to us and I wanted to break his goddamn nose for always being the good one; always being the one in fucking control. I knew he was going crazy in that psychotic brain of his just as I was.

Before I could think of acting on my thoughts, I pulled Liv back from me and pushing her gently into Law’s waiting arms.

It wasn’t helping me that she would not let go willingly. She was pushing back against my hand on the small of her back making me practically shove her into Law’s arms.

Once he had a firm grip, he quickly pulled her into his arms. I watched as her lips trembled even more and her eyes went cross-eyed again, either from the physical pain she was still feeling or the threat of hyperventilating and passing out.

My dad came to stand next to me, dropping his arm over my shoulders to keep me from falling over. The earth was shifting underneath my feet and I felt like I was falling into a dark and bottomless pit of hell; a hell without Livie’s existence.

I mean…what kind of person couldn’t live without the person they loved endlessly for a fucking month… ME!

As Law turned Sunshine on her heels facing the two guards waiting for her, my soul shattered into a million pieces.

“No,” I said in a whisper. I felt my dad grip my shoulder tighter.

“No!” I shouted louder.

Not realizing what my body was doing, I flipped out. The only thoughts registering in my scrambled brain were that I wanted Liv back in my arms, in my bed, and in our home.

Fuck rehab, I could get her back everything that she’d lost just the same.

“No Liv! Not this way!”

Her head snapped around. It killed me to see the tears flowing down her frantic face.

Law pushed her forward.

“FUCK, NO! LAW! BRING HER BACK!”

I shoved my father off me but before I could make a run for Law and Liv, he came up behind me, locking my arms behind my back. I forgot the son of a bitch was the one who taught me how to fight.

“Get. Off. Me! Get the hell off me!” I struggled but his grip got tighter.

“Lawrence, if you don’t let her go I’ll fucking kill you! YOU HEAR ME. I’LL FUCKING KILL YOU, YOU SICK SON OF A BITCH. SHE’S MINE! LIVIE IS FUCKING MINE!”

With one last look back, Liv pulled away from Law and my heart faltered.

“Ocean! I’m sorry. I’m so sorry Ocean!” Her weak voice called back to me.

Law reached out to her again and she slapped his hand away. “I can’t Law. He needs me!”

She went to take a step away from Law, but her leg gave out and her body crashed to the floor. Whaling out in pain, she cried my name. She was crying for me to pick her up and take her home.

I blacked out seeing nothing but darkness and feeling nothing but heat. I ran backwards, slamming my dad’s body into the limo.

Once free from his grip, I made a run for Liv. Law came at me, dodging my right hook but he couldn’t block my left in time. As my fist connected, he went flying sideways from the momentum of the blow.

“Let me go! Let me go! Ocean! Please stop! I need Ocean!”

Distracted by the two fucks moving fast towards Liv and scooping her up off the ground, Law clocked me twice in the face, once to the chin and once to the nose.

Again, I felt someone behind me pinning my arms to my back. Aunt Layla jumped in front of me. “I’m so sorry Ocean, please forgive me.”

There was a painful prick in my neck and instantly my vision blurred. Everything looked and sounded far away. I knew my arms were being pinned behind my back but in my mind, I was still reaching out to Liv.

She was screaming and kicking wildly as the two guards tried to immobilize her. I saw another person run out of the doors, a girl this time. Then my vision turned black and the world around me swirled, shifted, and swallowed me in its dark bottomless pit of nothing.

I was cold and void of all thoughts and feelings. The sensation was a familiar retreat for me but a dangerous retreat. I didn’t fight it. I let the demons cloak my pain with their devilish taunts and let them drag me down to the hell where I’d stay until Liv brought me back.

If she could bring me back.

****

Lawrence

“Son, let me reset your jaw before the swelling kicks in.” I swatted my uncle’s hands away from my face.

“N-no-oo.” I gritted through my unevenly clenched teeth.

The ruthless son of a bitch that was laid out on the bench opposite from me had knocked my jaw off the fucking hinges. I wanted to murder him right now; if I could just do it now then all would be right in my world.

My uncle’s agitated face came back into my line of site. “Lawrence, stop being a pussy! Let me reset your damn jaw before Layla has a fucking cow. It’s either her or me and if she has to do it, you won’t hear the end of it. You’ve had worse. Relax and let me fix it!”

I narrowed my eyes at the old man, wishing he were my father so I could break his nose just because. I looked back to Ocean, who my mom tranquilized just to get his big ass in the fucking limo and go home.

It was because of him Sunshine lost her cool. It was because of him she fell and I couldn’t be the one to help her up. I couldn’t hold it back anymore. I shifted away from my uncle and lunged forward for Ocean’s lifeless body. He was half dead already so I just wanted to do him the favor and finish him off.

As I lunged off my seat, I got in two solid punches to Ocean’s face before I felt an arm around my neck. It was my uncle’s painful sleeper hold and I was fighting it still whaling on Ocean.