Ocean's Touch (16 page)

Meredith stood riveted to her spot, unable to look away from Teddy’s mother. Not because she was particularly surprised by Mrs. Casaubon’s words—Meredith had heard them a million times in various forms—but because of how Mrs. Casaubon looked as she said them. The old woman’s face was so full of spite and rage that it was like she’d donned some distorted mask of her original features. Her eyes were squinted—her mouth ratcheted open in a ferocious sneer. Even her elderly body shook with fury, and she’d raised one bony finger, pointing at Meredith as if Mrs. Casaubon were the Grim Reaper.

She’s jealous
, Meredith realized. Meredith had always understood Mrs. Casaubon didn’t like her, but Meredith had thought it was something personal between the two of them. But at that moment, Meredith realized it had nothing to do with her. Teddy’s mother would have hated any woman who would have come into Teddy’s life. He could have engaged himself to a crown princess and still the girl would have been no good according to Mrs. Casaubon.

She hates me because I could love her son, and be loved by him, in a way that she couldn’t be,
Meredith marveled.
She wasn’t happy being
just
his mother, and having only his love as a son. She wanted to be everything to him—friend, colleague, confidante, mother, and even wife and lover.

“You are sick,” Meredith said before she’d even thought about what was coming out of her mouth. Teddy’s mother sat back in her chair as if she’d been slapped.

“Teddy was your son,” Meredith continued, figuring she’d just thrown in more than a few pennies; why not toss in the lot? “He loved you. Why wasn’t that enough?”

“This isn’t about me,” Mrs. Casaubon spluttered. “This is about you. I always knew you were cheap—only out for Teddy’s money. I always knew you never cared for him. I’m the only one who ever loved him…”

“I never cared for him?” Meredith asked, her voice rising, clear and strong. “Who was there when he was dying, Elizabeth? Who bathed him? Fed him? Cleaned his soiled diapers?”

Mrs. Casaubon moved her hand over her eyes, as if shielding herself from the images Meredith’s words created.

“You couldn’t stand to see your son sick. You told me you couldn’t bear it. You wouldn’t even visit. Remember when he was dying, and his nurse fell ill and took a week off, and we weren’t able to get a sub till the fourth day because there were all those winter storms. On the third day, I begged you to come spell me—give me just an hour or two so I could sleep. I came back after two hours—only two hours!—and you’d locked yourself in the bathroom. Teddy was lying in his own shit, crying out for help, and you’d locked yourself in the bathroom. I had to clean him, soothe him, and then talk you out of where you’d goddamned hidden yourself like a child. So don’t ever, ever, say to me that I never cared for Teddy.”

Mrs. Casaubon’s jaw worked helplessly, undoubtedly trying to find something poisonous to say, despite being momentarily silenced.

Meredith, however, was done. She was finished with this conversation and she planned never to have it again. And so she stood, gathering her briefcase as she did so.

“I loved your son, Elizabeth. And I was a damned good wife. I still miss him, constantly. But he’s dead, and I let myself be buried with him.” Meredith steadied her voice as she squared her shoulders. “I’m not going to be buried anymore. I’m going to live my own life. That means I see whom I want to see and I do what I want to do. I am free, Elizabeth, and I’ve earned that freedom. I earned that freedom by loving Teddy as much as I did, and by taking care of him both when he was healthy and when he was dying.”

“You can’t just walk away,” the old woman croaked, a note of panic in her voice.

“And I won’t,” Meredith said more gently. “But I’m also not your slave. I do not serve you or your family name.”

“What about all the responsibilities Teddy entrusted to you? I knew you’d just drop them…”

“I’m not dropping anything, Elizabeth. I’ll still run certain aspects of Teddy’s estate. But,” Meredith said, carefully schooling her expression so she didn’t smile when Mrs. Casaubon flinched at that
but
. “Things will have to change. I can’t do everything anymore. It wasn’t fair of Teddy to ask that of me, and, to be honest, I’m not qualified to do everything I’m currently doing.”

“Teddy said only you…” Mrs. Casaubon said, iron starting to creep back into her voice.

“Yes,” Meredith interrupted, before her mother-in-law could get her back up. “He did. But there are better ways to do things. For example, you did such an excellent job running that fund-raiser in New York. You have many more social contacts than I do, and you’re perfectly suited to that sort of event. Why shouldn’t you be in charge of that every year, and any similar occasions for which you’d like to take responsibility?”

Mrs. Casaubon’s mouth had flown open at Meredith’s first words, but had slowly crept shut as Meredith finished speaking. By the time Meredith had finished, a small smile was lifting the corners of the old woman’s lips.

“That was a rather fabulous evening, wasn’t it,” Mrs. Casaubon said. “Far better than you could have managed.”

“Absolutely fabulous, and definitely superior to what I would have done,” Meredith agreed, keeping any acid out of her tone.

“Well, I suppose that some delegation of Teddy’s affairs could be undertaken, as long as it’s done responsibly.”

“Yes, of course. And you’d be consulted every step of the way, obviously,” Meredith said, sweetening the pot with another lashing of honey.

“But this doesn’t mean you can just do whatever you want, young woman,” Mrs. Casaubon said, as Meredith cursed internally. “Alexander Ladislaw is simply not an appropriate man for you to associate with.”

Meredith smiled at her mother-in-law—her former mother-in-law, she reminded herself.

“You’re probably right, Elizabeth,” she said, pulling a chair up next to Mrs. Casaubon and leaning forward, as if they were old friends about to enjoy a thorough gossip. “Alex probably isn’t all that
appropriate
. But he’s marvelous. Even more marvelous than the man with whom I’m currently
associating
.”

Mrs. Casaubon looked at Meredith in horror, her bleary eyes wide as saucers.

“I met Dylan on the beach,” Meredith continued, wondering how long Teddy’s mother could hold out before she fled as fast as her walker would take her. “He’s very handsome, very sweet, very smart…and absolutely magical in bed.”

Meredith had never seen her elderly mother-in-law move so quickly. One minute Mrs. Casaubon was reaching for her walker; the next minute she was gone.

Her former daughter-in-law sat back and smiled.

“Fancy seeing you here,” came a voice from just behind where she stood after pressing the button for the elevator.

Ambushed
, Meredith thought, her heart plummeting into her feet as she slowly turned around. She’d just left Ron’s office, after having given Teddy’s mother more than enough time to clear out of the building.

Alexander Ladislaw sat on one of the low benches that stood sentry on either side of the main door to Ron’s office suite. He looked comfortable, as if he were in his own living room, with his long legs stretched out in front of him and his back resting against the wall. He had his hands resting stoically on his flat stomach, and his green eyes studied her intently.

“Funnily enough, I come here each week at this time,” Meredith managed to say, despite her suddenly dry mouth.

“That you do, as Ron’s secretary was helpful enough to inform me,” Alex said, his demeanor changing as he grinned impishly at her. He stood, and Meredith backed up one involuntary step as he strode toward her.

“So I thought I’d meet you here. We need to talk,” Alex said, causing Meredith’s heart to stutter again. She could imagine all the things he wanted to say to her.

All the confidence she’d just shown Mrs. Casaubon fled when confronted with the man with whom she’d conducted herself so liberally the night before. Meredith had told Teddy’s mother she could see whomever she wanted, but did she really think that Alexander Ladislaw—who could have the pick of any of those beautiful women she’d seen at his house last night, women for whom their bodies and their sexuality were like comfortable second skins—could ever want her, Teddy’s dull widow?

He’ll say, “It was fun, but obviously we’re totally inappropriate for each other,”
she thought, her heart beating again but sinking fast.
Or even worse, “It wasn’t that fun; let’s act like none of this ever happened.”
Then her heart really sank.
Or worst of all, “You look like you’re not too bad in the sack. I wouldn’t mind giving you a go.”

He must think I’m such a whore
, came that small, tinny voice that had been so carefully instilled in her by Teddy’s mother, Teddy’s society, and even Teddy himself.

“We need to talk,” Alex repeated, a bit alarmed as he watched Meredith practically shrink into herself. The woman standing in front of him now looked like she was expecting a spanking—and not the fun kind. So Alex purposely took another step toward her, pulling the lapels of her raincoat closer and tighter around her in a fussy, caring way that also forced her to stand up taller. He hated seeing Meredith looking defeated. In turn, she slowly raised those gorgeous dark eyes to his, and he gave her an encouraging smile.

“And we need lunch,” Alex finished, turning her gently, back toward the elevator and offering her his arm. “I saw the Dragon come flying out of Ron’s offices like she’d been bitten, so I imagine you could use a drink. Did she find out you attended my party?”

The elevator arrived and they entered, Alex pressing the button for the ground floor as Meredith’s mind raced. Did she tell him the truth, or lie in such a way that she could act like the scene between her, Alex, and Dylan had never happened?

I tell the truth,
she decided eventually.
I’m too old for games.

“Yes, she did. And she was furious. She called them ‘orgies’.“

“What?” Alex cried with mock outrage. “They’re not orgies! They’re gallery openings. Admittedly, with rather a lot of sex.” He said the last just as the elevator doors popped open on the ground floor, to the shocked faces of the Dorchesters, an elderly couple who made Teddy’s family look poor and unconnected in society. Mrs. Dorchester was a faded lily of a woman, lovely in her old age, but entirely colorless except for her rather shocking hair—the victim of too many colored rinses. Mr. Dorchester, meanwhile, was something right out of
The House of Mirth
. He could easily have been cast as a turn-of-the-century oil baron—turned out in all bluster, replete with a watch fob and waistcoat.

Alex winked broadly at the pair. “Morning, Bertie; morning, Estelle. You look splendid, my dear. You’re always doing something new with your hair.”

Meredith marveled as Estelle, who’d worn her violet-rinsed hair soft and puffy—like an enormous, lurid powder puff—for the entirety of Meredith’s existence in Seal Harbor, blushed like a schoolgirl and giggled.

“I did ask my girl to do something a bit different this week,” Mrs. Dorchester told Alex, who nodded sagely.

“Tell her to keep it up,” Alex said. “It really suits you.”

Mrs. Dorchester giggled again as Mr. Dorchester sized up Meredith.

“Nice seeing you out and about, Meredith,” he said in his gruff, old-school manner. “It’s not right for a woman your age to be cooped up in that widow’s prison.”

“Thank you, Mr. Dorchester,” Meredith replied confused.
I must be the subject of gossip
, she realized.
Why else would
widow’s prison
trip so lightly off the tongue?

The fact that Seal Harbor gossiped about her should have been obvious to Meredith, since she knew how everyone gossiped about everyone else. But for some reason it had never occurred to her. Probably because, if she’d let herself see herself from the town’s perspective, she may have second-guessed her choices.

“Call me Bertie,” he asserted, reaching out a hand as if they’d just met. “I always liked your husband, but his mother is a harridan. Have you taken up with this scalawag?”

Meredith, one step behind the intrepid Mr. Dorchester, took a moment to realize what he’d just asked. But Alex answered for her.

“If I have anything to do with it, yes,” Alex replied, putting a hand over Meredith’s, where it rested in the crook of her arm.

To Meredith’s surprise, Mrs. Dorchester clapped her hands delightedly as Bertie roared with laughter.

“Excellent! You need to settle down, boy, you’re too free living,” Bertie said to Alex before turning to Meredith. “And Ladislaw here’ll be good for you, Meredith. Teddy was a good boy, but a terrible stick in the mud. And you’re both very tall. The world needs more tall people breeding.”

Meredith’s jaw worked helplessly as she tried to process Bertie’s random comments enough to reply to one of them.

“Plus it’ll give the Dragon a coronary,” Bertie snickered evilly, as his wife slapped him gently on the upper arm in retribution.

Does everyone call Elizabeth the Dragon?
Meredith wondered.

“Well, it was lovely seeing you both, but we’ve got to be going. I’ve promised to take Meredith to lunch,” Alex said. Meredith cringed, assuming Alex didn’t realize that telling the Dorchesters anything meant everyone in Seal Harbor would know within the hour. The rest of Maine would know within three, and the entire East Coast would know by that evening.