Odd Jobs (29 page)

“What does that have to do with Petro?” Loot asks.

“That’s a good question,” I answer. I tell them that it really started with Petro’s father. Old man Petro was resisting this great expansion. He was happy with his turf in Queens and thought that this new mandate was too risky. It would bring attention, and old man Petro thought attention was an invitation to get caught. But mostly, these new initiatives would be a cash drain, and old man Petro wasn’t willing to kick in. It was causing a roadblock. As global as Balducci thought he could be, nothing could get done without going through Queens. Old man Petro was a respected leader in good standing and he flat-out disagreed. As long as he was resisting, other leaders would resist. Old man Petro was a major thorn in Balducci’s big expansion plans.

Rocky looks at me and asks, “Is that why Petro is in Albany now?”

“Yeah,” I answer, “there was an internal war about 15 years ago. Balducci got control in the old-school Mafia manner and wiped out guys who were resisting the big expansion. Old man Petro was a bigger tree to chop down. Petro lost, but for political reasons, still couldn’t be killed, so a truce was worked out and a territory was carved out for old man Petro. Albany.”

Loot asks, “So you had this idea to get Balducci and you lucked into finding Petro?”

“Just the opposite,” I say. “I’ve been hanging out with Richie Balducci all this time. I’ve been making special trips down to Long Island to get access to his house, and I would choke on his Bank of America stories. For months I have been pouring over information and trying to get ideas. I had thousands of ideas and then ultimately dead ends. But finally I found it. Here I am going to New York State University and someone who hates Balducci almost as much as I do is right here in Albany as well. So now the issue is, how do I get this guy to team up with me? That’s my real motivation for the drugs and bookie operation.”

“I’m confused,” Rocky moans. “Who was exiled from Queens? Was it old man Petro or the Petro we deal with?”

I catch myself and say, “Sorry, my fault. Old man Petro was exiled in the late 80s. But he was an older guy and he grudgingly accepted his fate. He keeled over about five years after his exile. He’s breaking thumbs in that better place right now. The younger Petro was in his 30s and had been strutting around New York as the heir to the Petro Dynasty. This exile crushed him. Petro was going to be running Queens, the center of the universe, but instead he’s in Siberia. He turned into a joke. He thinks he should be The Dude and just doesn’t have any of the muscle to back it up. In the younger Petro’s mind, which is our Petro, he believes he’s a man in a boy’s body and this is causing frustration. This frustration created one of the most outright meanest motherfuckers I have ever seen.”

Loot asks, “You know all this for a fact?”

“There’s no doubt,” I say. “I’ve been rummaging through Balducci’s mail, documents and e-mails for months now. As much as correspondents try to stay under the radar, a lot of info is still passed the old-school way, just with different acronyms so the writer and the reader aren’t actually talking about prostitution or extortion. You should see all the ideas and suggestions that Petro sends Balducci, trying to get back in. He’s desperate, and that was my hook.”

Loot tilts his head and asks, “I see a Petro vs. Balducci situation here. Exactly how do you win?”

“I win by blowing Balducci out of the water. That’s always been how I win. I got Petro on board. It wasn’t easy and it was pretty expensive but I got him on board.”

“Expensive!” Loot interjects.

I am trying to hold my head up and lay out my idea, but based on our recent turn of events with the NY State Gorilla game tonight, it’s hard to be bold and proud, so I belt it out quick and straight. “I gave Petro most of our money. We can’t cover the fixed Gorilla bet when we lose because I gave Petro most of our money.” There is stunned silence.

Loot is the first to awaken. “Kev, there was over $100,000 in our rainy day fund.”

“More like $133,000,” I say, “but I gave Petro $125,000 about a month back. “

“Oh,” Loot says, “at least you still have $8,000.”

“Okay, Loot, I know this is going in different directions. This is where it starts coming together. I started out by lying off bets with Petro. That was my in. At first I only worked through some of his staff, but when the size of the wagers got dramatically bigger, Petro, as expected, wanted to talk to me in person.”

I sigh and continue. “It didn’t take me long to win him
over. We were giving him good-sized bets, and I never haggled over paying his ridiculous rates. At the same time, I kept feeding him info about Balducci. What a coincidence that we had Balducci in common and Petro desperately wanted to get in better with Balducci. By the way, I may have slightly exaggerated my relationship with Jimmy Balducci.”

“I see,” Carey says.

“Here’s the thing. Petro actually started kissing my ass.”

Loot says, “Huh? Petro was charging us the worst rates in the universe.”

“Look, guys, when Petro first met me, I needed to dazzle him. I had to sell him hope. I was introducing another market but I also slowly offered access to Balducci and a door
w
ay back to the big time.

“This college town was always thought of as a bullshit nickel-and-dime proposition. It’s messy getting involved with students from a public relations standpoint, and the income stream proved very unreliable. But I showed him a whole different level of organization and profit. I knew most of Petro’s money is earned from bookmaking, offering protection from his own leg-breakers to local business owners and of course, prostitution. After all, there are plenty of politicians in Albany to earn from.

“I told Petro about the drugs, sports handicapping and bookmaking that he was ignoring and how it was overflowing to the lobbyists and whatnot. I told him how I wanted to show him respect and that I needed his help. There was so much more potential and I was only scratching the surface. I needed financing and protection to get heroin going, and H was making a huge comeback. My bookmaking was a complementary business to his bookmaking, and I needed protection from people starting to grab at my territory.”

“Heroin. That’s such bullshit! We never once talked about heroin,” Loot interjects. “And no one’s trying to grab our territory; if anything, more guys want to merge with us. Kevin, what’s with this shit?”

I
answer, “I told him how we already cleared a million dollars and I’m frustrated because there is so much more to do.... ”

Carey interrupts. “What? Why would he believe a fucking nothing like you cleared a million bucks? How fucking stupid could he be?”

“How fucking stupid?” I answer, “I gave him ten percent of our fictitious $1,250,000 profit. In old-school fashion, I let him wet his beak. I gave it to Petro out of respect for past business done in his territory and made plans to do some great things together in the future.”

“Fuck me!” Loot says. “You gave him all the money we had. You gave him $125,000. You fucking gave it to Petro!”

“How else would he believe I cleared a million bucks? Money talks, baby, money talks. Now I have Petro amped up to make millions of dollars and more importantly, to topple Balducci.”

Rocky asks, “Petro is going to topple Balducci?”

“Yep, Petro is going to take down Balducci.”

Rocky persists, “But if Petro wants in so badly, how are you going to get him to work with you? It doesn’t make sense. If he works with you, he can never get back in with Balducci.”

“Yeah,” I answer, “I had to play on that slippery slope that Petro was climbing. Obviously, he hated Balducci; he just wasn’t willing to admit that to himself yet. Balducci humiliated his old man and demoted them to the minor leagues. On the other hand, Petro needed Balducci to get back into the big dance; there was no way around that. I had a theory... ”

“Oh great,” Loot interrupts.

I shoot Loot a look. “It’s not that crazy.” Pointing to Loot and Carey, I say, “It was fucking working until today when you flushed our drug money down the drain in a panic.” I move my finger and vent further, “And you bet the wrong side of the fixed Gorilla game. So fuckin’ hear me out.”

“Okay,” Loot says calmly. “No need to point fucking fingers.”

I blow some air from my cheeks and say, “When I was spying in Balducci’s house, Petro was always offering up ideas to Balducci, trying to get a bigger role. For business’ sake and his own ambitions, Petro tried to play the past off like it was all ancient history. It wasn’t anything personal with the exile, just business. As it turned out, Balducci did get to go global, so it’s hard for the old guard or Petro’s family to fight the results. Therefore, I have to believe Petro’s unrealistic, rationalizing mind is thinking that if Petro ever came up with a valid business opportunity, Balducci would welcome him back.

“Balducci and Petro have reasons to talk from time to time because, get this, Petro has to kick money up to Balducci. That’s the rules. Petro has to pay a tax on his Albany earnings. I know for a fact it’s gnawing at his guts sending hard-earned income Balducci’s way. The money Petro kicks up wouldn’t affect Balducci’s clothes shopping habits. Petro is paying for something that already belonged to him and was stolen by Balducci. It’s like asking the guy who stole your watch to tell you what time it is.

“So, back to the theory. Petro wants back in and it’s all he can taste. When he found out I was hooked up with Balducci, he was always asking me questions. ‘Hey, Kevin, you ever hear Balducci mention my name?’ Or he would say, ‘you going to Long Island this weekend? Say hello to Balducci for me.’ Then when I got back, the first voicemail waiting from me was from my new pal, Petro.”

“So what did you tell Balducci?” Rocky asks.

“Nothing, not a thing. All I had to do was manipulate the information to Petro.”

Loot interrupts, saying, “The guy is a mob boss. Isn’t he smart enough to see through your manipulations?”

“Fair question, but let’s get one thing clear. Petro is a mob boss because he is once removed from a mob boss that got sent packing. Petro himself knows he jumped off the line early when they were assigning smarts. Petro makes up for this deficiency by being the meanest asshole in the land.”

“We get the mean part,” Carey says; he might as well be in a different room. Loot is trying to figure out which question to ask next and is dangerously close to an internal electrical malfunction.

Rocky sighs calmly and says, “How did you answer Petro when he asked you about Balducci? How did you manipulate the information?”

I start thinking to myself how good Rocky looks. C.W. Wellington could get a modeling deal if she wanted, but as weird as it sounds, C.W. is too pretty, untouchably pretty. Rocky, on the other hand, with her auburn hair and sultry eyes, is so attractive that she makes me want to grab her every minute of the day. I could be dead by the end of the week, and yet the mere sight and I need to embrace her. Man, I like Rocky, but damn, I thought about C.W. Wellington again today. I get back to the task at hand and say, “I might have added some fuel to the fire.”

“What do you mean?” Rocky asks.

“When I was spying on Balducci, I saw stuff about Petro. Petro would occasionally offer up a less-than-brilliant business idea. Then Balducci would forward these ideas to some of his guys, laughing his balls off at Petro. Balducci thinks he’s in the year
2100
and Petro is still pitching ideas on how to pick a caveman’s pocket. Petro is a big fucking joke to Balducci. So you know what I do?” I pause for a moment because I really need them to understand what I am going to say. “I take the stuff mocking Petro and I show it to him.”

Rocky says, “When Balducci finds out, he’s going to kill you twice.”

“Yup,” I say, “that’s when I jumped into the deep end of the pool. So I really needed this to hit home. One day, when Petro was asking me questions about Balducci, I acted like I just had to crack. I made like I didn’t want to see Balducci make such a fool out of Petro any longer. So I showed him all the stuff I had where Balducci was ragging on Petro. I made him understand that he had no shot at getting back into Balducci’s inner circle. I showed him everything I had found and I even made stuff up.”