Off Limits (14 page)

"It shouldn't matter, that's the thing. But it does. Your mom is my aunt," I said. Nate opened is his mouth to correct me, "Yeah I know, she's your step mom. But she raised you. It's not right for us to be together."

Nate sighed again and leaned back in his seat. There was a long pause in conversation, punctuated only by my sobs.

"Do you think she'll tell anyone?" asked Nate, but we both knew the answer to that. Trisha couldn't keep her big mouth shut for a million dollars. It just wasn't how she worked. I'd accepted that up until now, but now I was wishing and praying that she might just keep things to herself.

"You know she's going to tell everyone who will listen," I said. "God, this could ruin my relationship with my family, with everyone. Why did I have to be so stupid?"

Nate put his hand on my shoulder and I just cried and cried. We didn't stay for the end of the movie. We didn't even eat the damn popcorn. Nate took me back to his place and I slept in his bed once again, while he slept in the guest room. It was better that way.

Nate

The way Ruby had spoken to me yesterday had made me think that shit was about to hit the fan. That was why I didn't want her going alone. Trisha could have showed up at her apartment in the middle of the night and bothered her even more. No, she needed a good night's sleep. Even if that meant that I had to sleep in the guest room.

I woke up and checked my phone straight away. There were a few texts from girls I hadn't spoken to since before I'd met Ruby. I deleted them without a second thought. I had the usual inbox filled to the brim with business inquiries and a lot of boring stuff like that. Yet, to my surprise no one had contacted me about Ruby. Trisha sure was a gossip, there was no denying that. Maybe she didn't work as quickly as we had expected? Maybe she could still be reasoned with. It was worth a shot.

I looked through my contact list and pressed down on her name. The phone went straight through to her voice mail message.

"Hi, this is Trisha! I can't come to the phone right now but if you leave me a message I'll get back to you as soon as I can. Mwah!" Her voice was as irritatingly perky as ever, the last thing that I wanted to hear in the morning. Despite this, I made myself leave a message.

"Hey Trisha. Nate here. It was great to see you last night. I hope you enjoyed the movie," I took a deep breath, "Look, I know seeing Ruby hanging out with me might seem a little bit strange but we both just needed some company last night. I'm sure you understand. It's no big deal, so I'd really appreciate it if you didn't mention it to anyone. Thanks, let's talk soon."

I hung up and hoped for the best.

I managed to resist checking on Ruby for about ten minutes before my curiosity got the better of me. I hadn't gotten any messages, but maybe she had. If she did then I wanted to know about them. I pulled on a t-shirt and jeans and went down the hall to where my room was located. I knocked gently on the door. When she didn't respond, I knocked again.

"Come in!" she called sleepily. I opened the door to see her sitting on top of the sheets in one of my t-shirts, reading one of the books from my night stand, "Morning Nate."

"Morning Ruby," I said, deciding to cut to the chase, "Did you get any messages?"

She bit her lip and looked at her cell phone, which was resting on the night stand on top of all of my magazines.

"I didn't turn my phone on yet," she said softly. I sat on the edge of the bed and picked up her cell, handing it to her.

"You know you have to check."

She took it reluctantly and nodded. Her hands shook violently as she waited for it to turn on. It seemed crazy to have such a strong fear of what other people would think of you. I couldn't imagine being this afraid of my family. Then again, my family and I had never been close. Ruby seemed to really love her parents in a way that I didn't see very often in people our age. She actually enjoyed talking to her mom on the phone.

"Shit, it's on," she said, biting her lip again. It was going to start bleeding if she didn't stop doing that, but I didn't feel like scolding her now. We waited for a ping or a vibration or an alert. Nothing came. No one had contacted Ruby during the night.

She smiled at me in disbelief.

“Nothing,” she said, “Nothing at all. Maybe Trisha actually managed to keep her big mouth shut?” “Maybe she did.”

I didn't allow myself to get too comfortable, but it was nice seeing Ruby happy for once. She didn't even resist when I kissed her. In fact she kissed me back as if she didn't have a care in the world. It was a nice change.

I was just deepening the kiss and letting my hand slide up the warm, soft skin of her thigh when my phone rang. Ruby pulled away from me and groaned at the interruption.

“Who's that?” she asked, sounding frustrated. It was cute how worked up she had managed to get so quickly.

I shrugged. I had no idea, though Trisha's name immediately flashed up in my mind. I ignored it, knowing that the suggestion would upset Ruby. That was the last thing I wanted when she was so happy for once in her life. She deserved to feel happy, even if it was only for the morning.

“I don't know who it could be. The answering machine will get it though,” I said, smiling at Ruby as the phone continued to ring. Whoever this person was, they didn't give up. I didn't give a shit.

Whether it was a business call or anything else, I had a beautiful woman in front of me. It could wait.

“Then why don't you kiss me again?” she suggested coyly. I couldn't resist taking her up on that offer and soon my lips were on hers and her arms were wound tight around my neck. We made out to the sound of the phone ringing as best we could. It wasn't exactly a romantic backdrop but neither of us cared. Eventually, finally, we heard the clicking sound that meant it had gone to voice mail.

“Hi Nate,” a female voice said, echoing through the room as the phone put her on speaker, “It's Katie. Look, I feel really bad about how last night went. That's not what I wanted to happen.”

Ruby pulled away from me to listen to the message. A frown appeared on her pretty face. I prayed that Katie would stop there, but she went on.

“I thought you were being a jerk but looking back I guess you just had a lot on your mind. I'm pretty stressed with work too so I wasn't exactly in the best mood,” she sighed softly, “What I'm saying is that I really like you and I think you like me to. If you'd like to see me again then please give me a call. Thanks Nate.”

She rang off and Ruby and I were left sitting on the bed, looking at each other. Ruby spoke first.

“So her name is Katie,” she said, biting her lip, “The girl you were with. Her name is Katie. It's a pretty name, isn't it? A pretty name for a pretty girl.”

She said it all so calmly but the slight shake in her voice made it obvious that she wasn't happy.

“Yeah. But Ruby, she means nothing to me,” I said. Ruby shook her head. What I was saying didn't matter. She had made up her mind.

“This whole thing between us has been so stressful and caused me so much fucking worry. More than any other relationship, and we're not even in a relationship,” she said. There was a deliberate pause. Maybe she wanted me to say that we were? I stayed silent. Ruby took a deep breath before she continued, “You're a great guy Nate. And we have great sex. But this...whatever this is. It's just not worth it. I'm sorry.”

Was she breaking up with me now? It felt like she was, even though we weren't even dating. It hurt like she was but I didn't flinch.

“If that's what you want then that's OK.”

We didn't say much more. I called her a cab and said goodbye, wondering if she felt as confused as I did.

Ruby

There comes a point when you work really hard at something that it's just not worth it anymore. It can be hard. I've slaved over paintings for days, weeks, sometimes even months. At a certain point you realize it's just not working and you have to throw in the towel. It sucks, it always does, but the pain of giving up is much smaller than the pain of continuing to try and force something to work that isn't meant to be. That's how I felt about Nate.

It was an overreaction maybe. If it was, I didn't care. I would miss the incredible sex and our banter, but that was it. I couldn't take any more from him and he couldn't take any more from me. We were both spent. I even insisted on paying for my cab ride home, but that twenty minute trip cost more than what I had planned to spend on food that week. It didn't matter now.

I felt so shitty upon returning to my apartment that I had forgotten about the whole Trisha situation. I hadn't honestly believed that she had just had a kind moment and decided to keep her big mouth shut. No, even in my emotional state I knew that was just wishful thinking. Trisha didn't have a kind bone in her body, especially where I was concerned. I had just wanted to pretend, just for a little while. When I was with Nate I felt like anything was possible. As I climbed up those depressing stairs that led to my crappy apartment, I knew now that that wasn't true.

Trisha was waiting for me inside, sitting on the couch and holding Lucy. She looked like a mess. Her hair, which was usually perfectly curled or coiffed was piled up on top of her head in a greasy bun. Her face was bare and gray and for what must have been the first time in her life, she was wearing sweats and a baggy hoodie.

Despite her strange appearance and the mystery of how she had managed to break into my place, I barely blinked when I saw her. On some level I had been expecting it.

“Hi Ruby,” she said, her voice deep and serious. I gave her a nod and closed the door behind me.

“Hi Trisha. Good to see you,” I said, which wasn't really true. At the same time, having someone to talk to was slightly more appealing than an empty apartment. Even if that person was probably going to yell at me for sleeping with my step cousin. Trisha seemed surprised at my deadpan expression.

“You gave me your spare key after the whole Amy and Jeff thing, remember? You didn't want Amy to have it,” she said. If she hadn't felt the need to explain herself I certainly wouldn't have asked her. I didn't care about anything right now. I nodded and sat next to her on the couch. Lucy jumped straight into my lap and purred as I rubbed her belly. At least there was one person in the world who would always have me as their favorite.

“So, why are you here Trisha?” I asked, as if I didn't know already. I braced myself for a lecture on why my relationship with Nate was wrong and immoral and how she would have to tell the entire extended family and all of their friends. For my own good, of course. That was the only way I could learn a lesson. It had been the one thing I had feared the most after I had first slept with Nate, but now it didn't seem as big of an issue. It was over anyway. What could they do? What could I do, except move on?

Then Trisha did something that she had rarely ever managed to do. She surprised me. She didn't launch into a rant of any kind. She just looked at me sadly.

“I wanted to see you. I guess I feel like I don't have anyone else to talk to, which is stupid. I have a million friends but none of them are really into this...emotional stuff. You're a good listener, Ruby. You always have been,” she said. I wasn't sure why she was trying so hard to butter me up, but I didn't mind. It was nice to hear her say nice things about me for once. Yet I still felt slightly suspicious.

“What about your husband?” I asked, “Isn't that what married couples are supposed to do? Talk about their problems and stuff? I don't know how or why I'm supposed to help when your own soul mate can't.”

I said the word 'soul mate' without even a hint of sarcasm though it took a huge effort on my part. Despite my forced sensitivity, Trisha winced at the word.

“That's the thing,” she took another long, deep breath and I knew something was seriously up, “He's not my soul mate. I decided to leave him this morning.”

That woke me up a little bit. I'd made about a thousand jokes about this exact situation, but it seemed crazy that it was actually happening. The two of them had seemed so happy together on the dance floor at the night of the wedding. The night when I met Nate and everything got more fucked up than it already was. But Nate didn't matter. I had to think about Trisha now.

“But you two seemed so happy? I thought you were sure that he was the one?” I said. God, I hated that expression, but it was what Trisha had called her husband in their wedding speech. She shook her head sadly at me.

“I thought he was too, I really did. I guess I didn't take long enough to get to know him,” she said. That was true. They had only been dating for a few months when she told everyone that he had popped the question. It wasn't exactly a solid foundation to a marriage. But who was I to talk about that? I just patted Trisha's shoulder sympathetically.

“And you can tell that he isn't the one after less than three months of marriage?” I asked. Tears began to well in Trisha's eyes. She had been such a bitch to me over the years, but she was so upset right now that I couldn't help but pity her. I opened my arms to give her a small hug and she accepted gratefully and devolved into tears.

“Yeah, I can tell. Even on the wedding day my heart was telling me no. But we had already paid so much for my dress and the venue and everything. It would have been such a waste to cancel all that. But shit, it was a waste anyway. We were already in debt and now I've got bills and credit card repayments coming for me at every angle. I've ruined my life, Ruby,” she sniffed and her voice got a little softer, “I don't even have anywhere to stay, not now that I can't be in the house with him.”