Off Limits (15 page)

I sighed. So it wasn't my listening skills that Trisha was interested in. It was my tiny apartment and genetic inability to say no to a person in need, no matter how much that person drove me crazy. It was a curse.

“So, you want to stay here then?” I asked. Trisha nodded slowly, a shy smile on her face. It wasn't ideal but any means, but she was my cousin. I had to help her out. Besides, I would get something out of it. Being with her was much better than being alone.

Nate

When Ruby left I tried to carry on my day as usual. It shouldn't have been hard, after all I had meetings and had to take one of my bikes into the shop. I also had to have a long and awkward phone conversation with Katie, which basically resulted in me telling her that she was a great girl and I really liked her, but that nothing would happen between us. To my surprise the girl actually started sobbing on the other end of the phone. What was it about me that seemed to attract crying females? I just didn't know. She cheered right up when I promised to pay her college loans off as a thank you for how hard I knew she had been working, so obviously she wasn't that upset.

When it got to the evening time however, I was left alone. I loved having such a big and luxurious house most of the time, but now it just felt empty. I sat in my living room, scrolling through my phone contacts and looking at all the women I knew. There were a lot. All of them were beautiful and I knew that the vast majority of them would be up for coming over. I only had to ask and I would have the company I craved, someone to distract me from what I was feeling. I only had to ask, but I chose not to ask at all. Instead, I chose to sit in my massive living room, thinking about her.

The sex had been incredible, for a start. Yeah, every woman I had been with had brought something different to the table. They were all good at different things and I learned something new about how to pleasure a woman with every encounter I had. Ruby was different though. Ruby brought this energy, this light to everything she did and sex was no exception. I remembered the way she had touched me, the way her body looked in the moonlight and the way her skin felt under my fingers. It was always so soft and smelled incredible. Just thinking about it was driving me crazy. I ached to touch her, to kiss her, to feel that soft skin on more time. I wondered if I would ever see her again. She had been so insistent that this was the last time, but we seemed to be drawn to each other like magnets. I wouldn't give up hope. I wouldn't give up on that girl.

Ruby

Trisha was uncharacteristically tactful and managed to not even mention Nate's name until the next morning. The two of us had slept uncomfortably together on my sofa bed, and I had barely woken up from my horrible sleep when she brought it up.

"So, I guess we should talk about the whole Nate thing, shouldn't we?" she said, as if it was her responsibility to talk some sense into me. I groaned and pulled the blanket back over my head, but she tore it straight off again.

"Ruby! Don't be so childish!"

I groaned again and gave my cousin a dirty look.

"I'm letting you stay with me, aren't I? Shouldn't you be a little more grateful? You could at least act grateful, for fuck's sake. If I don't want to talk about something then we shouldn't have to," I said, though I knew that arguing was pointless. I was stubborn all right, but Trisha took it to a whole other level. There was no way that I could win against her and we both knew it. She cleared her throat and looked at me seriously, her attempt to show me that this wasn't a joke.

"You really took me by surprise at the drive in. It doesn't seem like your kind of place. I know how much you hate horror movies," she said gently. Trisha only knew how much I hated horror movies because she had forced me to sit through multitudes of them as a kid and given me more nightmares than anything else ever did.

"Oh yeah, I'm sure me branching out in my taste in movie genres was the most shocking thing you saw last night. Come on Trisha, I know what you're getting at," I said, "I went because Nate wanted to go and I didn't want to go home. Amy had made me feel like shit all night and I just wanted to spend some time with someone who isn't a complete asshole, OK?"

Trisha paused and then giggled a bit. I gave her a look and she settled down.

"Sorry, sorry. It's just funny to hear you say that Nate isn't an asshole. You’re like the only person I know who thinks that," she said. For some reason this comment infuriated me but I managed to stay calm despite wanting to punch Trisha in the face.

"He's not an asshole. Who says he's an asshole?" I asked, sounding more indignant about it than I would have liked. Trisha went slightly red.

"Well, no one really. But I always thought he was. That's kind of why I had you seated next to him at the wedding."

"What?" I exclaimed. I knew it. I had known all along that everything Trisha did was just an elaborate way to piss me off and make me unhappy. She backed away just a little bit, as if she thought I really was going to punch her in the face. She was just lucky that wasn't my style.

She sat back in the couch bed, hugging her legs like she did back when she was a kid.

"No, it's not what it sounds like. I wanted you to sit next to him and so he'd piss you off. Then maybe you'd realize that there were worse men out there than Jeff and you might just get back with him," she said sadly. I looked at her. It was such a ridiculous plan, I couldn't understand for a minute how the fuck she expected it to work. Also, why was she so insistent on me being with Jeff? Was it our typical competitive streaks? Did she want me to have a shitty boyfriend who didn't respect me so that she could feel better about her own failing relationship? It didn't make sense. I stared at her, waiting for an answer.

"Look, I know it sounds silly but Jeff and I thought it might work," she said. Jeff? So Jeff was in on this too?

"Jeff?" I said, stunned, "You and Jeff actually talked about this? You planned this together? Is that why he showed up at my place the day after the wedding? Oh god, he probably thought I'd fall right back into his arms and give him a reunion blow job."

I shuddered at the thought.

"I'm sorry, he was just really insistent about it. I was scared that if I didn't help him out that he might actually show up at my wedding, Ruby. I had to protect myself," she said, "Plus, I thought you two might actually make things up."

"Trisha, he slept with my best friend while I worked my ass off to pay my part of the rent and the bills as well as his. How the fuck could I make things work with a guy like that?"

Trisha looked terribly guilty now. Though I was fuming, I felt a little bit bad for her. When we were growing up the adults were never quite as hard on her because she would cry at the drop of a hat. I now realized what it was like to not want that to happen. I made a conscious effort to soften my voice.

"How did you think it would work out," I said, wanting an answer. She shook her head quickly.

"I didn't think it would work out, not rationally anyways. I guess I'm just a sucker for romance. And what he was saying about you was so romantic Ruby, you should have heard it. If my husband had said that kind of stuff to me then we would still be together. Jeff has such a way with words," she said, her eyes going all dreamy. I rolled my own eyes.

"Yeah, he's a writer. He's great with words. He's great at using them to manipulate people. He could write me all the love songs and poems in the world, he could dedicate his first book to me. I don't care. He betrayed me and made me feel like shit and I couldn't go back to that. I never will! Sitting me next to someone who you wrongly thought was an asshole wouldn't change that."

I stared Trisha down for a long time. She was the first person to break the contact.

"How about some coffee?" she sang, using her overly cheery voice once again. She sounded more like herself now. It wasn't the end of the conversation, not by any means. We both knew that we had plenty more to talk about. But I didn't stop her from making us both up a cup of instant coffee. We needed the relief.

She handed me my coffee, which I insisted I would take black. I usually like a spoonful of sugar and some half and half but black coffee seemed more mature. I shuddered at its bitterness but promised myself that I would get used to it in time. Trisha added four sugars and a lot of milk to her coffee. I couldn't blame her. If my marriage had just ended after less than three months I'd be craving a little sweetness too.

Trisha sat back down on the couch bed, further away than she had been from me before. She had every reason to be cautious of me.

"Good coffee Trisha," I said, trying to defuse the heavy silence that hung over the apartment now. She didn't take the bait.

"I saw you two dancing at the wedding," she said, stirring her coffee slowly, "I didn't think much about it. I thought Nate was just being nice to you after finding out that you'd been through such a hard time."

"Cool, like a charity case," I said coldly. Trisha's stirring got a little faster so that drops of coffee were splashing out of her mug and down the side.

"No, not like a charity case. Ruby, you looked amazing that night. Everyone was checking you out," she sniffed, "It pissed me off actually. It was supposed to be my day."

"I'm sorry?" I said, because it seemed like the right thing to say, though I resented saying it. If I was the most attractive person at the wedding, which I doubted, that wasn't my fault. Trisha said as much.

"No, don't apologize. You can't help being pretty. I spend hours on my makeup and hair just to look presentable and you show up with your hair loose and a dab of lip gloss and a swipe of mascara and you blow me out of the water. It sucks, but I'm used to it," she went on, "But when I saw you dancing I just thought it was nice and friendly fun. I did think it was strange that Nate wasn't hitting on any of my friends, so I guess I should have put two and two together."

I remembered how it had felt to dance with Nate that night. I had felt so happy and free for the first time in forever. It was a feeling that I hadn't felt in years and I had wanted to savor every single moment. It seemed like an eternity ago.

"We had fun dancing," was all I said. Trisha looked at me knowingly.

"Did you sleep together that night, or did you wait?" she asked. I saw a hint of judgment on her face but I was now at a stage where I didn't give a fuck what she thought. I didn't give a fuck what anyone thought. It had happened and it had been amazing. Now it was over. There was nothing to be ashamed of anymore so I might as well be completely honest.

"We slept together that night," I admitted, "That was the first time." Trisha nodded.

"I guessed that. And he was the one who took you to Paris, wasn't he? You don't really have a sugar daddy, do you?"

I laughed. I had forgotten that was what I had told her and it seemed funny to me now.

"No, I don't have a sugar daddy."

"Hm. It would probably be better if you did," she said, "I'm sorry Ruby, but I grew up with Nate just like I grew up with you. You're related!"

I sighed.

"No we're not. Auntie Sharon is his step mom, not his biological mom. We don't share any blood."

"It's still wrong. I just don't understand how you could fall in love with someone when you know it's wrong," she insisted. I refrained from rolling my eyes at her. Who had mentioned falling in love? I sure hadn't.

"We're not in love. We never were. And you'll be happy to know that it's over," I said. It felt strange and painful to say those words aloud. It felt like everything became more real that way. I hated

it," And if you want to stay with me while you look for somewhere to go then we're going to end this conversation right now, OK Trisha?"

She nodded eagerly, obviously not keen to get thrown out on the street. Of course there was no way in hell that I would allow my cousin to become homeless, but the threat wouldn't hurt. If that's what I had to do to keep her in line then so be it.

Besides, it was over. I needed to move on now. I needed to concentrate on other things besides Nate, like my career and my social life. Both of them needed a lot of work if I was going to be where I wanted to be. I kept telling myself all of these things. The more I repeated them, the more I could pretend they were true.