This question makes me stiffen. She is oh, so right about that. When you are in extreme situations, your bonds forge fast and stay strong. But there is a lot of pain and misery that goes along with it. I'm back on guard now and this conversation needs to wind down.
Now.
I stand up from my chair and start walking to the door. "Well, it's late. Go ahead and pack up and I'll see you on Monday."
Emily pushes away from the workbench with an easygoing smile on her face. "Sure thing, boss."
I watch as she pulls her phone out and turns it on, grabbing her purse while it boots up. She takes a quick glance at the screen and grimaces. I'm assuming there is something stalkerish glaring at her. But I'm not going to ask, even though I sort of want to.
She walks to the door and turns to me. "You got big plans this weekend?"
I needed that question. My priorities come back swiftly in line. My walls go up and slam tight into place. I hope she's not trying to ask me to do something with her. Because that would not be good...in any way.
I answer cautiously. "Not really. I'll probably just hang out at Linc's place."
"That's cool."
Well, damn. I expected her to say something more and that makes me curious now. "What about you?"
Her eyes light up. "Yeah, I'm excited. I'm going with my roommate, Fil, to this new nightclub."
"You live with a guy?" The thought of it raises my hackles a bit but I don't have time to ponder the why of it. It seems all I do lately is analyze every little word that comes out of my mouth around Emily.
She gives a laugh. It sounds like gentle, silver bells, which is a nice change. The laughter of other women always seemed to grate on my nerves.
"No. My roommate is a girl."
"Your roommate is a girl and her parents named her Phil?"
"No. Her parents named her Mignon."
"Wait? They named her after a steak?"
"Yup. Fil is short for Filet. It's this whole nickname thing." She's grinning and I can tell she is enjoying the hell out of this discussion.
I shake my head. This will go down as one of the weirdest conversations I've ever had, and trust me, I've had some weird ones in my head.
"Did she murder her parents for that?"
Emily now lets out a bark of a laugh. It's hoarse and sexy, and I would kill to hear that sound again. "No, although I'm sure she's considered it a time or two."
As her laughter dies down and slides from her eyes, her gaze at me is replaced with something else. Almost as if she's looking at me in awe and delight. It's like she is seeing something inside of me that even I don't understand.
It makes me uncomfortable and pissy.
"What?" I demand.
The joy on her face disappears completely and her eyes go dead.
Yup. I did that. My anger made it go away, just with a singular asshole move on my part. Classic Nix Caldwell and I’m sort of relieved to know he’s not completely dead.
"Nothing," she says. "It's just...you have a wonderful smile. Well, you had a wonderful smile just a second ago. Too bad you don't keep it on your face very long."
I was smiling at her? I didn't even realize. Usually the unnatural feeling of a smile on my face is immediately and completely recognizable to me because it's not something I do often. And then I snapped at her because she dared look at me in a way that was...special. I'm such a shit and I'm sure she thinks I'm nuts. Maybe I am nuts. Maybe she is driving me nuttier.
I can't think of anything to say, so I just head toward the door. "Go ahead and lock up when you leave."
"See you," she says softly.
And damn it if I can't help myself when I say, "Be careful this weekend."
Emily
Fil and I are headed with a group of our friends to The Blue Room. One of our friends at Columbia knows a friend, who knows a friend whose father owns this nightclub. So we got VIP passes for tonight.
I'm dressed to the hilt for some major dancing and partying. I chose a teal blue dress that comes to mid-thigh. My right arm is covered with a full sleeve while my left arm is bared completely past my shoulder and to my neck. The fabric is ruched across my breasts in crisscross patterns and silver bangle bracelets on my bare arm are the only jewelry I'm wearing. I curled my hair with a large barrel iron so it hangs in soft waves down my back. Three-inch crystal studded sandals complete my outfit, although, as we walk the four blocks to the club, I'm starting to regret wearing them.
Oh, well. Nothing that a couple of gin and tonics won't cure.
Fil is wearing a borrowed dress of mine and because she's a bit taller than me, the hem comes up significantly more than mid-thigh. Even though she dresses in shredded jeans and t-shirts most of the time, she does like dressing girly when we go out.
"We're both pretty sizzlin' tonight, aren't we?" I ask as I nudge her in the shoulder.
She smiles at me. "Yup. And the best thing is...we don't have to compete with each other."
"That's right," I exclaim. "Because I likes the guys and you likes the girls."
We both start giggling like two grade school kids that just uttered our first dirty joke.
I link my arm through hers and she slows her longer legs a bit so I can keep up.
"So, heard anything from Todd today?" she asks.
"No phone calls since yesterday when I told him to cut the crap. But he has sent a few texts apologizing and telling me he just wants to talk."
Fil harrumphs. "That guy is a psycho, I'm telling you. Do not underestimate him. No one spends that much time chasing after a girl that clearly wants nothing to do with him. I hope he doesn't go all John Hinckley on you."
"As long as I have you to protect me, I'm not worried."
"Damned straight," Fil concurs.
We get to The Blue Room around 9:30 p.m. and the line to get in is wrapped around the building. We walk to the front and hold out our invitations. I feel so sophisticated as the large bouncer unhooks a velvet rope and lets us pass through.
Our group is eclectic, that's for sure. You have me, the rich, snotty girl. Fil the lesbian. Tina and Tonya, twin sisters from Arkansas who were raised on a farm and are still incredibly intimidated by the big city. And finally, my chemistry lab partner, Kevin, who is on Columbia's Lacrosse team, and he brought two of his teammates who I don't know very well, Sam and Breckan.
Our friend who knows a friend whose father owns the place and got us the tickets, reserved two tables for us and we feel like movie stars. We sit on an elevated deck above the dance floor and have our own personal waitress who caters to us all evening. She never asks for our ID's even though we all have our fake ones prepared to deliver at any time.
I don't even finish my first drink when I get pulled out onto the dance floor by Kevin. Before too long, the rest of the gang is there and we are bumpin' and grindin' to Vassy's
We Are Young
. I hold my arms out and twirl in a circle, my face lifted to the flashing electric lights. I feel so alive and thankful to have the freedom to be myself. It wasn't until I came to college that I realized I was a prisoner.
After several dances, I motion to Fil I'm going to take a break and she follows me off the floor. The rest of the group shows no signs of slowing.
We order more drinks and chat while we watch the clubbers.
"So, how did your job go this week?" Fil asks.
She is the only person I told about my accident and my deal to work for Nix. But I haven't told her much about him. With two mixed drinks in my system, I feel like a Chatty Cathy all of a sudden.
"He is about the most gorgeous man I've ever laid eyes on. But he's so distant and he seems on edge all the time. I don't know how to communicate with him."
"Why? What's his childhood trauma?"
I shrug my shoulders. "Hell if I know. I know he served over in Afghanistan and he doesn't want to talk about it. But he’s so intriguing that I want to know more."
Fil twirls her fingertip around the edge of her drink glass. I notice she has on black, sparkly nail polish but it's chipping around the edges.
"Well, who says you need to communicate. Just do your job and keep your head down."
I take that in and then say, "I suppose."
"Wait a minute," she exclaims. By the look on her face, I know where she's getting ready to go. "You like him, don't you?"
"What?" I act affronted. "No. No way. He's too...too...he's not someone I'd be interested in."
"Liar!" she yells out, pointing at me. "Liar, liar...pants on fire. I see that look in your eyes. You're smitten." She's laughing because she knows she's busted me.
I smack her arm and she yelps. "No I'm not. And who uses the word “smitten” these days? I just find him interesting, that's all."
"So do something about it."
I look at her skeptically. "What do you mean?"
"I mean, dummy, make a move on him. If you like him and you're interested, make a move."
I just stare at her. That's preposterous. I couldn't make a move on a guy like that, much less one that radiates an arctic freeze when I'm around him.
"I couldn't..." I say, but I'm pretty sure I want her to push me to do it.
"Em...I love you like you're my own sister. So please believe me it is only with love and affection when I say 'get your head out of your ass'. You're always bitching and moaning that you want to be free. That you want to try new things. That you want to be adventurous. This is your chance, girl."
Her words sort of pump me up. Although it could be the alcohol. "Really? Do you think I should?"
"Absolutely!"
I grin at her. Come Monday afternoon, I think I just might try a little overt flirting with the elusive Mr. Caldwell and see what comes of it.
I slug down the last of my drink and we both hit the dance floor again.
***
I'm having a blast. Fil ended up getting stinking drunk after slamming several shots and Kevin and his friends left about an hour ago to take her back to our apartment. Poor girl was practically falling out of her chair. I hope there's not going to be a pile of vomit for me to navigate when I get home.
Tina, Tonya and I were burning up the dance floor for quite a while, and then we met some guys. They were a lot of fun and were buying us drinks, so we kept hanging out. We'd all go dance, then come back and do shots, although I stopped drinking over an hour ago so I wouldn't end up sharing the toilet with Fil.
One guy in particular, James, keeps dancing with me. He's really cute and he's a senior at NYU. His friends have paired off with Tina and Tonya, and they're all getting drunker by the minute. I hope to God that I can get those stumbling fools home. That thought alone makes me break out into a fit of giggles. Which then makes me realize I need to pee. I motion to James and the others that I'll be back, and make my way off the dance floor.
The bathroom line is long and I feel like I stand there forever. I'm so glad I had stopped drinking or else I'd be dying right now. It takes me a good ten minutes to make it to a free toilet, do my business and then freshen up my appearance.
I make my way back out to the dance area and see James sitting at our table. I plop down in the seat next to him. He motions to the waitress to bring another drink but I tell him I'd like a water instead.
Glancing out to the dance floor, I don't see Tina or Tonya anywhere, or the guys they were dancing with.
I lean in toward James so he can hear me over the music. "Where’s Tina and Tonya?"
He slides his seat a little closer to mine and puts his arm around my shoulders. "They took off with my buddies. Said they were going to go grab some food."
What? I can't believe Tina and Tonya would leave me here. I dreaded having to walk home alone this late at night. But I suppose I could just get a cab. Even though my trust was cut off, I still had some cash on me.
"Well, I probably should be heading home." I give James a small smile and reach for my purse.
Before I can grab it, James leans over and places a hand on my knee. He wraps his other arm tighter around my shoulder and draws me close to him. Placing his lips near my ear, he whispers, "Don't go, baby. You and I can still party together."
His hand starts sliding up my leg and when it hits the hem of my dress, I reach down and grab his wrist firmly. "Sorry, James. I'm not into partying like that."
I still have a slight buzz but nothing to the extent that I would miss the flash of anger in his eyes. His hand grips my leg hard for an instant and then he releases me. "It's no problem, baby. How about I walk you home?"
He gazes at me and I note how bleary his eyes look. He has been pounding liquor all night and I hate dealing with drunks and their unpredictability.
He moves his eyes down my body, resting on my breasts while he licks his lips. That's just nasty and I sense danger. I'm not sure why I'm so uncomfortable though. I'm sitting in a packed nightclub. He's released my leg and he's offering to walk me home, but ultimately my instinct tells me to leave this one alone for the night.
"That's alright. I can make my way home," I assure him.
His hand goes back to my leg and he squeezes it again. Not hard, but it's menacing to me. "I insist. It wouldn't be right for me to let you leave out of here all alone." His voice is oily, like a used car salesman.
I sit up straight and try to look as tough as possible. "No, James...I'm going home by myself."
He just grins at me then runs his eyes down to my chest again. His hand squeezes and relaxes, squeezes and relaxes. "Darling...you can walk out of this club, but I'm coming with you. Now, do you want anything before we leave?"
My mind is racing. The intimidation from this guy is causing what little bit of a buzz I had to quickly fade. For all I know, he could just be a weasel that will walk me home and try to cop a feel. Or he could be something far more sinister, hoping to take advantage of me.
I could kill Tina and Tonya for leaving me.
I also know that he's very drunk and I need to deal with him delicately so as not to incite him. I try to put on my most flattering smile. "Okay, have it your way. Let me run to the restroom one more time. All that water just runs right through me."
"Sure thing. I'll settle up our tab. Just meet me back here."
I stand up and I'm dismayed that I'm a little shaky, but it's not from the alcohol. It's from extreme nervousness. I walk toward the bathroom and when I reach the hallway that leads to the facilities, I take a glance back. James is still sitting there, watching me. Leering. I give him a small smile and enter the hallway.
Once I'm in the bathroom, I pull my phone out. I can't call Fil because she's probably passed out. Ryan is at an away game in Philadelphia. There's no way I'm calling Danny since she's pregnant. She's not getting anywhere near this mess.
I call the one person who I shouldn't but more than anything I want here right now to rescue me from this mess.
The phone only rings twice before it’s answered.
"Hello," Nix says. I've clearly woken him up.
"Nix. I'm in trouble I think."
"Emily? Where are you?" He sounds worried. Not pissed off, as I'd expected.
I tell him the name of the club and give him the address.
"Do not leave that building. I'll be there soon."
He disconnects without saying anything else. I estimate it will take him a good half hour to make it here and I'm fine hiding in this bathroom until then.
I wait, standing near the sink. I splash cold water on my face and pat my skin dry. I can't believe I just called Nix. He's not even a friend but he seemed like the person I should have called. Part of it was probably that conversation I had earlier tonight with Fil and maybe this was just my first move toward flirting with Nix. Ultimately, James probably would never have done anything to me, but I feel much safer knowing I don't have to even put myself into that position.
The bathroom starts clearing out until I'm the only one left. I am impatiently checking my watch when one of the waitresses comes in and sees me standing there.
"Are you Emily?" she asks.
I nod.
"Your boyfriend is out there waiting for you. And we're closing the club so you two will need to head out."
Oh, crap. I need to stall to give Nix time to get here. There is no way I can walk out of here with James.
"Ummm...I think I might be sick. Can you give me just a few minutes?"
She looks exasperated but says, "Fine. But we're locking up in about fifteen minutes. I'll tell your boyfriend you'll be out soon."
I mutter thanks and walk into one of the stalls, acting as if I'll be sick. As soon as I hear her leave, I open the door and walk back to lean against the sink.
My fifteen minutes goes by too fast and the waitress is back telling me I need to leave. I pick up my purse and catch a glance in the mirror. Wide eyes stare back at me and I realize I'm going to have to handle James on my own. That thought makes my stomach churn.
As soon as I open the door, I see James leaning up against the wall with his arms crossed over his chest. He gives me a devious smile. "Are you okay? The waitress said you were sick."
I nod. "Yeah. I think I drank too much and had to throw up."
Maybe that would gross him out enough to leave me alone. Or maybe it would make him think I was easy prey. His smile turns from devious to practically lecherous. Clearly, he sees me as prey.
"Well, let's get you home and get you to bed. In fact, my apartment is just a few blocks over."
I walk past him and head toward the club's exit.
"No," I reply, trying for nonchalance as if his offer didn't just make my insides squirm with disgust. "I'm going to my apartment."
He appraises me, one eyebrow cocked. "Sure thing, sugar. Let's go."