Officer out of Uniform (Lock and Key Book 2) (21 page)

“Don’t you?”

“No! It doesn’t make any sense. Terrible things happen, and they’re just … terrible. That’s all. Nothing good comes out of them, or even if it does, it doesn’t negate the awfulness.”

“Your face is all red. You look like you’re about to cry. What are you talking about, Sasha? I know you’re not talking about me.”

She was
not
about to cry. But she was upset. Upset because Henry saw every opportunity to throw his life on the line as a chance to redeem himself. Why couldn’t he just accept that life was a gift? He’d survived, and that didn’t mean that he had to look for ways to throw his life away. It meant just the opposite.

“You know how my dad died. It changed my entire life, and my mom’s – especially my mom’s. One day he was helping me write an essay on
Catcher in the Rye
for my sophomore English class and then he was gone.

“He never showed up for dinner. And we never saw him again. It was such a waste … I can’t stand to think of your life being wasted the same way. And most of all, I can’t stand to think of losing you.

“I know it’s not quite the same thing, but…”

“Sasha… I’m sorry about all that. And I don’t intend to die any time soon – especially not now that I’ve got you. But you can be damned sure that if I do, it’s going to be for a reason. For fuck’s sake, Randy Levinson has killed at least half a dozen people, including a pregnant woman. This isn’t just me being crazy.”

“I know. But that doesn’t make the idea of you being in danger any easier to bear.”

His gaze was steady, and for the millionth time, she wished she could know that he’d be okay – that this craziness would pass and he’d come out on the other side alive.

“Well.” He smiled. “If he couldn’t kill me at near point-blank range with a Blaser R8, what hope does he have?”

“Blaser?”

“That’s the rifle he had. He stole it from the warden’s home. It’s top of the line – a weapon most hunters would have wet dreams over.”

“Oh.” She knew he was trying to lighten the mood, but she couldn’t bring herself to smile. “I guess he is a pretty crappy shot, isn’t he?” Thank God! She wasn’t sure how he’d missed when Henry had been running at him, but she’d never been more glad of anything in her life.

“He won’t be getting any better, either, thanks to you and Wolf. He had one shoulder practically chewed off, and you fucked up his other arm with your little kitchen knife. He had his chance, and he blew it. He doesn’t even have the rifle anymore, anyway, so he won’t be doing any more snipering from a distance. His days are numbered, Sasha – we’ll catch him soon, and things will get back to normal around here.”

His words took the edge off her fear. She wanted to believe them, wanted to soak them up and let her worry ebb away. But she couldn’t do that – couldn’t relax and trust that everything would be okay just because she wanted it to be.

“You’re brave,” she said, “and I’m not. I think that’s the difference between us.”

He snorted. “You’re not brave? If that’s true, then how exactly did you motivate yourself to pick a knife fight with a convicted murderer?”

“I was motivated by fear.” That was the truth of it – she
wasn’t
brave, just so afraid that she could pass her desperate actions off as bravery. “I’m more afraid of losing you than I am of getting hurt myself.”

“Then you’re wrong. There’s no difference between us. I’d rather get shot or stabbed a thousand times over than let anything happen to you.”

“So we’re the same.” A hint of irony crept into her voice, because she could think of a million ways they were different. Anyone could see that they were: night and day, summer and winter. When she’d first met him, she’d figured that was okay. Opposites attract.

“You don’t think so?” He seemed serious.

She caved and laughed. “No. Come on. Do you, really?”

“Yeah. You came here to get away from the town where you grew up. So did I. If we weren’t the same, at least in some ways, you’d still be living just west of Raleigh and I’d be back in Georgia.”

She let that sink in, and had to admit there was some truth in it. “And neither one of us would be so paranoid about losing the other.”

He nodded. “There is one huge difference between us, though…”

She tried not to cringe as she braced herself for him to say something about her that involved the words ‘loud’ or ‘bossy’. She’d heard it all before. “What’s that?”

“You look way better than me in a bikini. I’ll never be able to pull one off like you do. I just don’t have the figure.”

She actually laughed. And while that didn’t take away her reasons to worry, it did banish the tension that’d crept into every corner of her body. Suddenly she realized that they hadn’t moved – her thighs were still open, and Henry was still between them. What an absurd position to have a mini-breakdown in. She had to admit though, it was nice to have him so close.

As she met his eyes, the moment seemed to crystallize – for now everything was okay, and they were so close she could feel the heat of his breath. Voicing her fears seemed to have stripped away a little of their power. Whatever had happened over the past 24 hours, and whatever was to come, those things weren’t now. They were lucky to have this moment. The realization dawned on her and lit her up from the inside out, like a tiny sun.

She kissed him.

He kissed her back, lips hot against hers, tongue delving straight into her mouth. And then he slid closer, lowering himself on top of her, placing every hard muscle in direct contact with her body. A shiver of delight rippled through her, multiplied when he rocked his hips and the head of his cock pressed against her pussy.

She rocked back, and all the desire that’d been put on hold during their argument came crashing back down on her. The pull of it was like a riptide, carrying her away before she even knew what was happening. Wriggling beneath him, she moved until the broad tip of his dick was just inside her, pushing past her folds and beginning to stretch her.

He groaned. “Wait.”

She didn’t want to, but she froze. “What?” God, she wanted to feel him farther inside her – all the way. It was all she could do to resist thrusting down with her hips, sliding down his shaft.

“I’m not wearing a condom.”

His words hit her like a ton of bricks. She’d forgotten – actually forgotten in the heat of the moment.
That
was a first. “Oh.”

Slowly, agonizingly, he pulled back and out. “I didn’t bring any. Didn’t think. Do you have any here?”

“No.” And why the hell didn’t she? Anger swept over her – anger at herself. She could still feel where he’d recently been inside her, if just barely. Now, her pussy was wet, her nipples were hard and she ached for him so badly it actually hurt.

“I can go out and get some.”

“You know, I’m on the pill.” Since she’d never mentioned it before, she figured he hadn’t known. “We could forego the condoms now, if you want.”

She tried to sound diplomatic, like she wasn’t dying to feel him slide bare and hot inside her – like she didn’t expect it to be the single most pleasurable experience of her life. She had no medical reason to need condoms, as long as she kept up with her pill, which she took religiously. So as long as he could say the same…

“Really?” His eyes locked with hers, and the intensity she saw there took her breath away.

Her entire body heated with anticipation. “I’d like to. I’m healthy, and thanks to my pill, we should be safe from pregnancy. What do you think?”

He sighed as he raked his gaze over her body. “Best idea I’ve ever heard. I just…”

“What?”

He sucked in another breath, then laughed. “I hope I last. Right now, it feels like holding out might just kill me.”

Her pussy gave an answering throb, shrinking tight. “If it helps to know, I don’t think it’s going to take long for me to come, either.”

She laid a hand on his thigh and slid it up, until her fingertips were brushing his hipbone, then slipping into the crease where all his flat muscle arrowed into a sexy V shape.

When she touched the stiff length of his shaft, he tensed and sighed again.

Wrapping her fingers around it, she caressed the velvet-smooth skin, the perfect hardness. With every second that ticked by, she got even wetter, even crazier with anticipation. Feeling Henry inside her with nothing – absolutely nothing – between them was the most pleasurable thing she could imagine.

He wrapped his arms around her and rocked her back onto the bed, settling between her thighs again.

She wrapped her legs around his waist as he took his cock in his hand, guiding it to her pussy. One hard thrust and he was inside her, sliding more smoothly than ever, stretching her in a way that took every last bit of her breath away. The friction was different – all natural, all them. She could feel his heat, his smoothness. She’d never felt closer to anyone.

“Fuck, Sasha. This is…” He pulled back slowly and thrust hard into her again. “The best thing I’ve ever felt.”

She could’ve sworn she felt him getting even harder inside her. The sensation left her buzzing with pleasure, and faintly lightheaded. She started moving her own hips, letting her legs slide down onto the mattress so she’d have something to move against.

He moved harder, more deliberately, pushing deeper into her than ever.

Fleetingly, she thought of being cuffed on the edge of the bed, bound and completely open to him. For some reason, this simple way of coming together left her feeling even more exposed. It wasn’t the way or the angle he’d used to get inside her, it was the fact that he was going to come there, leave part of himself deep inside her even after this was over.

For now, he was hitting the perfect spot with every stroke, and each impact pushed her closer to the climax she could feel building deep in her core. They were so close that she felt the friction of his body rubbing against her clit, but the real pleasure was feeling him hit so hard, in just the right place. Her prediction came true – she came fast, and hard.

A cry tore its way out of her, an involuntary manifestation of sheer bliss. It was amazing what a difference the lack of a thin layer of latex made. As her pussy shrank around his hardness, the pure pleasure of his being bare radiated through her, making her climax that much more powerful. It came in waves, and she saw tiny stars when she squeezed her eyes shut, pinpricks of light against darkness that enhanced her other senses.

By the time the intensity faded, he was still going strong, still hitting her in just the right place. Each stroke sparked a burst of sensation, reminding her of what she’d just experienced – how good it’d been. Ghosts of that pleasure haunted her now, making her skin break out in goose bumps, doubling her heart rate when it should’ve been starting to slow.

He said her name and his lips brushed her neck, releasing a burst of breath that clung to her skin, hot and humid. She liked feeling that trace of him lingering on her body, liked the idea of reaping that feeling a hundred fold in a minute, when he came.

He was obviously on the edge. Every muscle in his body was taut, every stroke was deliberate. Her body was shrinking and pulsing around the hard length of his cock, and his words about ‘holding out’ echoed through her mind. That must be what he was doing. If this felt half as good for him as it had for her, he had to be restraining himself.

Wrapping her legs around his waist again, she held on tight, pulling him closer and farther in. When he swore, she knew it was working. The coarse lines and flat ridges of his scars slipped beneath her fingertips as she smoothed her hands over his back, gripping him hard.

This way, she could ride out his every movement, could feel every surge of urgency sweeping through him and driving his motions. It was the closest thing to mind-reading she’d ever experienced.

She used her own body to say what she was thinking without words. Clinging tight, she let her nails dig in, let her thighs flatten against the hard muscle of his sides and hips. His groin ground against her clit, and she could feel herself reaching for orgasm again without even meaning to.