OGs: Deep Down (28 page)

Dan was getting the barbecue ready while Rebecca, Amanda, and Lisa were bringing out the ingredients for the salads. Taking a deep breath, Kyra walked to them, ready to offer her help. She didn’t have to. As soon as she made it to the table, Rebecca gave her the potato peeler. “Here, sweetie.”

She watched Mike carrying Jackson under one arm and Sam under the other, both kids squirming and laughing while he hauled them by their waists. He was so good with kids, and they looked up to him. Her daughter had him up on a pedestal.

The other day at the gym, when Sara told her that Mike had given a
gi
to Sam and that she was going to take part in the class, Kyra had run to them just to stop dead in her tracks. Mike was teaching Sam how to put on the belt and she was beaming at him. When she saw the other kids, her smile fell. Mike held his hand out to her and said something. Kyra waited, her heart in her throat. Sam took his hand, no hesitation. Seeing Mike and Sam, both dressed in karate attire, walking hand in hand, laughing, had her dizzy.

She’d had to go back to her class, but when she’d finished, Sam was playing with Marcy. Playing with her. Not fighting her.

And now Sam was laughing and playing with Alice and Jackson. Adjusting without problems. Something her daughter had never exceled at. Neither had Kyra for that matter.

Amanda and Rebecca were busy bringing plates when Lisa finally addressed Kyra.

“So, are you sticking around this time, or do you plan to bail after stomping over my brother’s heart again?”

Kyra looked up and into Lisa’s hard eyes and pondered for a second. “You want to take this inside, away from the kids, where you can yell and try kicking my ass?” Kyra answered, gesturing at the children splashing in the pool.

Lisa pondered for a second too. “Nope. Too much trouble. Besides, as much as I hated it, I saw you that day at your dad’s funeral. I believe you hurt yourself as much as you did Mike by walking out on him. That’s why I’m not chewing your ass yet. But if you hurt him again, in any way, shape, or form, there’s not going to be a place in this world I won’t find you and rip your heart out. Through your fucking asshole. Do we understand each other?” Lisa said with a scarily sweet smile.

Now she could more than ever see Lisa’s resemblance to her brother.

Kyra nodded. “Fair enough. For the record, I did love him.”

Lisa snorted loud. “Did love him? Who are you kidding? You love him, no past tense to it.”

Yeah, no past tense to it.

“Thing is,” Lisa continued, “will you be able to work through all your bullshit this time around?”

That stung. “You don’t know anything about me. Much less my bullshit.”

Lisa lifted her shoulders. “No, I don’t, and I never did. We were never friends, but anybody dumb enough to pass on my brother has to be so full of crap she can’t see which way is up.”

For a split second Kyra considered telling her that Mike had been the one passing on her too, that he hadn’t wanted to support her or her choices, but she kept her mouth shut. Because Lisa was right about one thing: Kyra had been so full of fears and shit she hadn’t seen which way was up. And yes, anyone passing on Mike had to be certifiable.

“He went crazy when you came back married and with a baby. Up until then he’d been harboring the hope you guys would get together. For two years after that he was lost to us too; he was a shell of what he used to be. I heard from Hank he got involved with illegal fighting in Boston. Not the fancy, flashy kind, but the gritty, underground stuff.”

Kyra winced, and Lisa caught her. “You didn’t know that, did you?”

Kyra shook her head. She’d heard from Angie about the Pussy Olympics, but she hadn’t known about any illegal fighting.

“What didn’t she know?” Mike asked, approaching and wrapping his arm around Kyra.

“That you were such an ace with the water gun,” Lisa replied, trying to cover up Kyra’s guilty silence.

“Almost as good as with a hose.” He winked at Kyra. “A real hose, Lisa. Don’t give me that horrified look.”

“Whatever he said, I double that,” Hank said as he reached them.

Smiling, Lisa slapped him on the chest, whispered something in his ear, and Hank broke into laughter, kissing his wife. “You’re on.”

Kyra watched their exchange, feeling all the time as if she should avert her eyes. The hard edge on Lisa’s gaze had softened. Lisa and Hank had been married for many years, regardless of their bumpy beginning. Finding common ground and making it stick.

While they ate lunch, Mike was very affectionate with Kyra, which earned them a several ews from Sam and some giggling from the other children. Lisa shot Kyra many hard looks but didn’t address her.

After food and dessert Kyra wandered away from the table to the other side of the yard, where Rebecca was lying on a lounger.

“Lisa giving you a hard time?”

Kyra shrugged.

“Don’t mind her,” Rebecca said. “Mike is her hero. When Hank freaked out about the baby, Mike was always there. She idolizes him.”

“I know.” Mike had always been Lisa’s knight in shining armor, and she’d viewed Kyra as an intruder then. Now she probably considered her a traitor.

Kyra sat beside Rebecca. “Why aren’t you mad at me? You love Mike like crazy, and you always had his back. Why aren’t you giving me the cold shoulder? I certainly deserve it.”

Rebecca chuckled and patted Kyra’s forearm. “I love Mike, but I also know he’s not perfect either. Besides, I’m too old to be giving the cold shoulder. You know, when one reaches a certain age—that is, my age—he’s allowed to do whatever he wants. And I do. I get mad as hell and yell and curse, but I don’t hold to it. It’s not worth it. You’ll dribble worse than a three-month-old flower if you hold on to the hurts; they eat at your insides, believe me. It’s not antiaging creams that keep you young; it’s letting go. And sex. Sex also helps. Not that I had too much of that in the last couple of decades.” She winked as Kyra sputtered her drink all over herself.

* * * *

Mike headed upstairs and into his old bedroom, where Kyra had gone to lie down for a bit. She was curled on his bed, sleeping, and he spooned her.

She stirred and drowsily snuggled against him. “Mike?”

“Sorry. Didn’t mean to wake you up,” he whispered against her head.

“Where’s everyone? Sam?”

“We’re alone. My parents took the kids to the park. Lisa and Hank went out for a ride. Wilma and Greta came to pick up Grandma, and Sara went to the movies. Alice has invited Sam for a sleepover, so if you don’t mind, Sam and my nieces will be staying here tonight.”

“What did Sam say?” she asked, turning around and nestling her head on his chest.

“Are you telling me you didn’t hear her excited screams from up here?”

“Of course she can stay.”

“Good. We could spend the night in my place, alone. I’m dying to hear you scream my name,” he whispered. “And not muffled through a pillow because of thin walls and Sam sleeping down the hall.”

“Okay,” she said against his chest.

“And I want to fall asleep inside you, like we used to do before. Naked. With my cum and your juices little by little dripping from your pussy. I miss that.”

“Drawbacks of having small kids.”

“I can live with that. I like kids.”

Kyra cupped his face. “Thank you for always going out of your way to make things good for Sam. Like yesterday in the gym. Like today. Alice and Jackson were on you all the time, yet you managed to include Sam. She loved it here.”

The surprise in her tone threw him off. “Of course she did. Wasn’t she supposed to? You okay?”

“Yeah, it’s just that your family can be overwhelming.”

“You spent so many years around them, yet you always seemed a bit uncomfortable. I never understood it.”

She lifted her gaze to him and held it for a long while. “Do you know what’s worse than ending up in foster care because you have no family? Ending up in foster care because you have a family and that family doesn’t want you.”

Mike stilled. “What do you mean? I thought your parents died when you were nine and there were no close relatives to take you in.”

“No, they didn’t, honey. They’re very much alive. Or were a couple of years ago when I tried finding them.”

He propped himself on the headboard, stunned.

“You never said a word about that,” he let out, hating that he sounded accusatory. “We were together for five years. We were friends since…since fucking forever.”

She went on her knees on the bed. “You don’t know what it’s like to be beaten on a daily basis. To duck if the person near you makes a sudden movement because you think you’ll get hit. It’s a shame that runs bone-deep, especially when the one beating you is someone you love and should love you back.”

Mike tensed. “Cynthia?”

“No, my real parents. My mom, actually. I didn’t put a stop to it; I didn’t tell anyone. I just endured because that was my lot to endure. Until she abandoned me.” She snorted sadly, her gaze drifting away. “Apparently I wasn’t even good enough to be beaten up, so she kicked me to the curb when I was nine.”

Mike cringed at her words. “Fuck, Kyra. Why didn’t you tell me?”

He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He knew Kyra had demons, but he’d always assumed they had to do with becoming an orphan. Whenever he’d asked about her biological family, she’d always deflected the question but never given any indication that things hadn’t been right.

“I didn’t want you to know. Still don’t.”

That jarred him. “If you didn’t want me to know, why are you telling me now?”

She lifted her smoky eyes to his. “I’m older now, and I’d like to believe somehow wiser too. I think you deserve to know me. The real me. I don’t want to hide anything from you, not even the parts you might not like. I’m not who you think I am. I’m—”

He held her chin. “Exactly who I think you are, my love. Perfect in every way.”

“My mom and dad, neither of them have Hispanic blood. Or Indian. Or whatever blood I have running through my veins. My mom, believe it or not, is a strawberry blonde. I guess it was my fault she had been cheating, because she was the one beating the shit out of me. My dad just ignored me. I felt tainted. Defective somehow. Dirty. Even if I’d stayed in Alden, I couldn’t have given you the perfect family you had because I had no clue how.”

Now he understood why when he asked about her mixed ancestry, she always answered,
“I’m just a mutt.”
He’d reply she wasn’t a mutt, that she was his Inca queen. She’d laughed and waved dismissively, changing the subject.

“Baby—”

She cut him off. “I saw how things were at your parents’ place. I told you I couldn’t marry you because I wanted to make it big. And it was true—I needed to prove my worth, to myself and everyone else—but part of me wanted to get out of here because what you offered scared the shit out of me. You were offering me a dream, and I felt I would never measure up. I didn’t cook. I was messy. I didn’t know how to make a home for you.”

“Fuck, Kyra. I didn’t need a maid,” he roared. “I couldn’t care two shits if you could cook or not. Or how messy you were. All I needed was you; your presence was what made a home for me.”

“It was not only all the technical details, Mike. I was lacking all those wonderful skills your family seemed to have in spades—you know, how to make one another happy. How to keep a family together. Your mom and grandma make it look easy; they excel at it, but I wouldn’t know where to start. Cynthia was okay, but she was reserved and not prone to affection. I was terrified of fucking it up, so I cut my losses and bailed out on you. In the back of my mind, I thought maybe after making it, I would be more deserving.”

“And did my family treat you any differently now?” Kyra shook her head. “Baby, one is loved because one is loved. There’s no reason needed for loving.”

She snorted, the sadness in her eyes killing him. “Spoken like someone who has always been loved without conditions. You’ve never had to try earning it. You were wanted and loved from day one. I wasn’t, honey.”

“Yes, you were. I did love you like that from day one. Unconditionally. My family too. You didn’t have to compensate by excelling at dancing, by proving you were worth loving. You already were.”

“I guess I was too scared to see it.” She was quiet for a long while and then placed her hand on his chest. “Mike, can I ask you something?”

“Anything.”

“Did you get involved in underground fights after you found out about Sam and Drake?”

Mike tensed. “Let’s not—”

“Please, Mike.”

That was the last thing he wanted to talk about, but she’d opened herself to him like never before. He couldn’t shut her out now. “Yes I did. I was too full of rage to follow rules, and I needed a sparring partner who could take heavy punishment without ending up in the morgue.”

She lowered her hand and hung her head, hair covering her face. Her voice shook. “I’m so sorry I left. I’m so sorry I did that to you.”

Mike brought her to him and hugged her. She was crying now. She hadn’t cried when telling him her ordeal with Drake, or about her childhood yet she broke into tears for him. “Shh, don’t cry, baby. I did that to myself. I was angry with myself.”

“I’m so sorry I did that to you,” she repeated against his neck, her whole body shaking from the heart-breaking sobs.

He weathered the storm, caressing her, trying to reassure her until she exhausted herself.

* * * *

“Baby…”

“Mmm?” Mike mumbled as he worked her nipples with his mouth. She’d expected to be attacked the second she entered Mike’s apartment, but it didn’t happen. He’d turned on the TV and dragged her to lie over him. The movie was good, but it couldn’t hold her attention as he started to caress her, and now she was naked, on her knees straddling him, her pussy red. Her nipples too. The juices of several orgasms dripping slowly down her swollen folds. He’d fucked her with his fingers but hadn’t given her his cock.

“I need you, baby,” she whispered in a trembling voice.

He grabbed her ass cheeks and spread them, opening her pussy too, intensifying the contact of his cock with her clit. “How badly do you need me?”