Oh Stupid Heart (6 page)

A tall, lanky fellow
in his early thirties, wearing tan slacks and a high quality knit shirt entered
the classroom and smiled like a lion spotting its prey. He perused each of the
eleven students carefully. Physically, Carrie classified him as average, but
his coal black hair combined with intense blue eyes gave him a decided air of
intrigue.

“How many of you
asked to come here?”

The students looked
about, but none responded.

“How many are glad
your company has sent you?”

Everyone raised their
hands.

“How many believe the
skills you learn here will help you when you return?”

Only Carrie and three
guys held such expectations.

He pointed to a woman
wearing shorts and a t shirt who hadn’t responded to his prior question. “So if
you don’t think you’ll learn anything of use, why are you glad to be here?”

She smirked. “It’s San
Francisco, and I’m not at work!”

He turned his palms
up in defeat. “Fair enough. Who else feels the same?”

Six students grinned
and joined the I-came-to-play group..

“Okay, let’s get to
know each other. Tell me your name, your job title, why you think you were sent
here, and what you hope to get out of it.”

He winked at Carrie.
“Let’s start with this pretty lady.”

She started to speak,
but he stopped her. “Please stand up and face your classmates.”

A pale thick-lipped
guy in the back row said, “Maybe you should stand on your chair, ‘cause I still
can’t see you.”

To her horror, the
whole class laughed. At the present, chucking this training and returning home
sounded like a great idea. But if she did, this jerk would think he’d scared
her off. Her eyes narrowed as she gave him her best death glare.

The instructor
pointed his finger at the guy. “You can leave.”

“Huh?”

“Go, out of my
class.”

“But—”

“Out.”

He stood, grimacing
as if in pain. “I’ll apologize if you want.”

“Let’s hear it.”

He grinned at Carrie.
“Sorry I teased you about being a dwarf.”

Some the class snickered,
others groaned.

Carrie sent him more
death ray glares. If only they worked!

“Would you like to
respond, Carrie?” the instructor asked.

“I’m not a dwarf. I’m
a small person.”

She wanted to add
‘which I can’t change anymore than you can being an idiot,’ but given this was
a class of transformation and positive thoughts, she swallowed the last half of
her sentence.

“Is that all?” The
instructor’s hand rested on her arm.

She nodded.

“All right.”

The guy smirked and
sat down. The instructor shook his head and jerked his thumb to the right while
declaring, “You’re out.”

“But I apologized.”

“First, you tell me you
don’t think you’ll learn anything in my class. Strike one. Next, you insulted a
fellow student about her height. Strike two. And when given the opportunity to
apologize, you insulted her again. Strike three, you’re out.”

“But my company paid for
me to be here.”

“You’re wasting my
time. Out.”

Cursing beneath his
breath, the guy stormed from the room. After the door closed, the tension
remained high.

The instructor turned
back to Carrie. “I apologize for the interruption. But life just threw us a
good lesson, which I will explain once we’ve gone through introductions, so
start again. Do you remember what I want to know?”

Carrie nodded.

His eyes sparkled as he
motioned for her to continue.

“I’m Carrie Hanson.
I’ve just been promoted to change specialist.”

“What were you
before?”

“EA to the CEO.”

His eyebrows rose,
and a speculative half-smile formed on his lips.

She ignored his smirk
and continued. “Our company is going through a transition in which we will
replace over half of our current employees who have poor work ethics. We wish
to create an entirely new culture in which both our new and old workforce
embraces teamwork and cooperation. I hope to learn during these two weeks the
skills needed to bring our plan to fruition.”

He thumped her nose
playfully. “You will,” he said before pointing to the next person.

Why had he touched
her nose? Was he flirting? Carrie sat down and hoped she could get a flight out
tonight because she’d just lost confidence in her instructor‘s competence and
professionalism.

The next person had
to be reminded of what the instructor wanted him to share. When the next one struggled
as well, the guy wrote the four things he wanted to know on the board and
pointed to the topics while each spoke.

Carrie realized why
so many in the class didn’t expect to get anything out of the training; they
had no idea why their company had sent them.

Only the three guys
who had raised their hands with Carrie on the instructor’s initial question
expected to learn something. They were on advanced tracks for promotions, and
their CEOs insisted the course would help them through their entire career.

The instructor
motioned to the pretty girl who sat at the back of the class, and she hurried
to his side, staring up at him as if he were a god.

Or a god in bed. Her
gaze seemed hot and sexual to Carrie. But maybe her mind hung in the gutters.
Her dreams last night had been more than R-rated. When she returned to New York,
she was jumping Trent’s bones even if she had to tie him to the bed and rape
his willing body.

Their instructor
pointed to all but Carrie and the three advance-track guys. “Sherrie will be
your instructor for these two weeks. If she hasn’t convinced you the seminar
will help you in your job and life, note it on your exit questionnaire, and
she’ll lose her bonus.”

He stroked Sherrie’s
hair with affection. “But I should warn you, she’s never lost a bonus yet.”

A good-looking guy, not
chosen to be in Sherrie’s class, raised his hand. “Can I go with her?” Carrie
wasn’t surprised. He had Romeo-wants-laid written all over him.

The instructor rolled
his eyes. “No.”

Once Sherri led her
group of six out, their instructor wrote his name on the board:
Ian Goodman
.
“I’m the founder and CEO of Transformation. I only take those who are here for
the right reasons and have a firm understanding of what they wish to achieve.
These are going to be two of the most difficult and demanding weeks you’ll ever
experience, but when you leave here, you will possess a level of skill that
will assist you even when you become the CEO of your own company, because it’s
not just your hourly employees who require re-engagement and
motivation. Division and vice-presidents, managers, and supervisors need
constant reminders of the path you are taking the business.”

He returned to Carrie
and smiled at her. “And sometimes, you’ll come upon a person who isn’t worth
the effort and time to change. Negative people will suck the energy out of the
whole department, or in this case, a class.”

Did he mean her?

He pointed to the
empty chair of the guy he’d banished. “I’ll have to give a full refund to the
company that sent Bozo, the Clown. But it’s money well lost, because he isn’t
here, draining our energy. Without distractions, the four of you can put your
hearts into learning what I have to teach. Then you’ll go back, succeed in life,
and send me your best people to train. So I’ll make more money by sending the
ass home than allowing him to stay here, corrupting the entire group.”

He walked to the
board and wrote
Cut your losses!

“Three strikes and
they’re out. If you give them three chances to change and they don’t, cut them
loose. Otherwise, they’ll drag your company down.”

Carrie raised her hand.
“What if the boss won’t let them go?”

“We have a whole day
of handling those above you. A lesson you’ll remember forever. But first, let’s
start with the basics.”

After an hour of
ensuring they all understood the typical corporate structure and having each of
them share any differences in their company, Ian walked to the door and ushered
in a group comprised of a pretty young woman, seven geeks, and an old man in a
navy blue suit. Without any direction from Ian, they assembled a makeshift
conference table by shaping four narrow foldouts into a rectangle. Others separated
stacked chairs from a closet and placed them around it. Then they sat down and
began softly talking amongst themselves.

Ian handed folders to
Carrie and the three guys, Brian, Charles, and Sander. “You are the COO of your
company and this is your Systems Group. I’ll give you ten minutes to read your
case file and then we’ll begin.”

Despite none of them
had finished reading their file, ten minutes later, Ian began his lecture. “People
communicate in three ways: words, tone, and physical actions.” He dissected the
body language of each actor who demonstrated the behaviors and misbehaviors of
unhappy employees. “After each short lecture, you will have a chance to
practice your new management skills with your staff.”

Carrie had never realized
how much her horrid employees had been saying when ignoring her questions.

Over the next few
hours, the group took turns being boss to their unhappy systems staff. Instead
of each exercise getting easier as they learned more skills, the staff worsened
until they rivaled Trent’s employees.

A young woman brought
pizza in so they could work straight through lunch. Carrie cursed herself for
not remembering to bring her own lunch. She couldn’t eat pizza due to her
lactose intolerance.

She focused on Ian’s
lecture and ignored the unhealthy food offering.

“Brian, step up and turn
your team around,” Ian barked.

Brian studied his
prep sheet describing the situation currently depressing his staff.

Having had several
goes with these actors who had the part of bad employees down to perfection,
Carrie grimaced at Brian’s condescending tone as he assured them the problem
seemed easy to solve. His words incited some of the group to near riot while
two withdrew from the discussion, one by crossing his arms, the other by
declaring the need for the bathroom and heading toward the door.

Ian motioned the departing
actor to him. He leaned in close to Carrie and spoke softly. “What
can
you eat?”

Not wishing to
disturb the class, she wrote down a list of things, hoping the guy could find
one of them.

He handed the list to
the actor, who hurried from the room. Ian stroked her hair, before interrupting
the near riot Brian had inadvertently caused.

“Okay, Brian, you’re
in trouble here.”

Brian nodded in
agreement.

“Where did he go
wrong?”

Carrie and the others
blamed it on his tone and certainty the job was easy.

Brian pointed to his
briefing notes. “But it says it’s easy.”

Ian shook his head as
he walked around and placed his hands on the shoulders of the pretty, female actress.
“What do you think, Janice?”

“I’ve been working
ten to twelve hours a day on this problem for a week. If you think it’s so damn
easy, come down here and do it yourself.”

The other actors
nodded. One added. “Except you don’t know how, do you?”

Ian finally stopped
fondling the girl and walked back and forth behind them. “These are things you
normally don’t hear. But they are being spoken. Your employee will think it to
your face, and say it behind your back. However, most people need their job, so
if you’re their boss, you’ll never hear it.”

“Carrie, what else do
you hear within this group?”

“James has given up
on Brian and withdrawn from the project. He’s probably convinced it’s not
solvable.”

“Do we cut him
loose?”

“Not yet. First, I’d
want to understand what the problems are. He could be correct that our current
solution won’t work.”

James threw his hands
up to heaven. “Yes, thank you!”

Ian grinned. “Carrie,
do you want to follow up?”

Carrie focused on her
employees. “James, do you have another possible solution?”

He smiled and nodded.

“Let’s stop there.
Charles, take Brian’s place. You’ve just learned after a very long week and no
progress, your team thinks you have the wrong solution. James believes he has a
better solution. Take it from there.”

Ian sat down beside
Carrie and draped his arm around her chair, tickling her arm. She leaned
forward and took some notes to escape physical contact with him. The man was a
brilliant instructor, but his affection towards the females bordered on sexual
harassment. Or would, except everyone, but her, seemed most happy to receive
his attention.