Tantric Orgasm for Women
Read Tantric Orgasm for Women Online
Authors: Diana Richardson
Tags: #Health & Fitness, #Sexuality, #Psychology, #Human Sexuality, #Self-Help, #Sexual Instruction, #Sexuality/Tantra
Dedicated to Love in Women
Acknowledgments
I
sincerely thank the many women who have shared their experiences with me over the years, and from whom I have learned an inestimable amount. In particular I am grateful to the women who have given me permission to use their personal words of experience, which have helped enormously in conveying the true map of female sexuality, and thereby of love. In addition, I am thankful to the male partners of those same women, because their mutual experiences in love made this direct contribution possible. I have also included a few sharings
by men and I am grateful to them for giving me permission to do so. I vouch for
the absolute authenticity of all the personal experiences I have quoted. I have, for simplicity’s sake, elected not to identify the individual contributors by name or initial.
Contents
1
The Intrinsic Potential for Orgasm
2
Orgasm Is a Spiritual Experience
The Upward Movement of Sexual Energy
Woman Is the Environment of Sex
4
The Source of Orgasmic States
Allow Physical Contact to Be Porous
Energy Raised from a Positive Pole
Deliberate Interference with the Breasts
6
The Vagina Is Secondary to the Breasts
Energy Flows from Male into Female
The Vaginal Consequences of Conventional Sex
Preserve the Vagina as a Sacred Place for the Penis
Accessing Deeper Reaches of the Vagina, the Female Epicenter
Healing Sexual Traumas with Deep Penetration
The Breasts Impulse the Vagina and Expand Energy
The Inclusive, Polarized Vagina
Integrating the Clitoris without Disturbing the Vagina
The Clitoris as Bridge to the Vagina
Identifying Desire and Separating from Urges
8
Woman’s Part in Man’s Erection
Woman Is Equally Responsible for Erection
Healing Impotence and Lost Sensitivity
Receptivity and Fear of Not Feeling
Pulling Awareness In and Down into the Body
Scanning and Sweeping the Body
Combining Movement and Relaxation
Isolating and Relaxing the Vaginal Muscles while Moving
Using Breath, Words, Eyes, Lips
Letting Go of Tensions, Masks, Protections, Efforts, and
Projections
The Difference between Lust and Passion
The Solar Plexus and the Third Eye
More Women Sharing Their Experiences
10
Mastering Love and Overcoming Emotions
Distinguishing between Emotions and Feelings
Using Love to Overcome Fears Created by Lack of Love
Verbalize Emotion, Separate, and Physically Move the Body
Conventional Sex Creates Emotionality
Expressing Feelings in the Here and Now
Woman Needs to Make Love for Her Continuing Health
Divesting Interest in Peak Orgasm and Ejaculation
The Division between Sex and Heart’s Love
11
Woman as Lover during Menstruation, Fertility, Pregnancy, Motherhood, and Menopause
When Sex and Fertility Make Friends
Sex during and after Menopause
12
Tantric Orgasm and Same-Sex Partners
Awareness of Present Moment, Relaxation, Sensitivity
Opposite Polarities and Genital Correspondence
The Focus of Sexual Exchange for Women
Homosexual Love and the Feminist Movement
Tantric Spiritual Background Is Heterosexual
Applying Tantric Principles to Same-Sex Relationships
Conclusion: Embracing Our True Feminine Power
Appendix: The Sympto-Thermal Method of Fertility Awareness
How the Sympto-Thermal Cross-Check Works
Recommended Books and Resources
Introduction
I
n Sanskrit, the ancient religious and classical literary language of India, the word
tantra
can be likened to such concepts as “capacity for expansion” and “that which goes on expanding,” and the words
continuum, web, context,
and
transformation.
1
Tantra teaches an acceptance of who we are as a whole, from the solid density of our physical body to the refined layers of our spirit. It is concerned with the transmutation of energy, liberation of the mind, attainment of one’s full potential. The balanced union of opposites is considered the way of achieving liberation of mind and body, a liberation from the supposedly endless cycle of unconscious rebirth. Tantra understood over five thousand years ago what modern science has since proven to be true through chromosome study: that woman is half man and man is half woman. The balancing of inner opposites is the way to achieve full potential. Falling fully into feminine mode in sexual union transforms woman through an inner alchemical process.
This, my second book on tantra, essentially explores tantra from the female perspective. In the pages ahead I endeavor to convey the significant role that receptive feminine energy plays in the male-female sexual exchange. It wouldn’t be realistic to draw a distinct line between woman and man when talking about sex because sex is the most intimate meeting of the male
and female elements. However, there are aspects of sexuality that apply exclusively to women, and these can be used to distinct advantage in influencing and strengthening the sexual experience—for both women and men. A woman who is without a partner can still benefit from this knowledge. It can give her a new feeling about herself and her body, and often through this new awareness she will draw the right partner to herself.
As a researcher, teacher, and writer on sex, I have been encouraged by both women and men to address sexuality from the female point of view. Women have suggested this directly; and though no men have exactly verbalized it, I have been encouraged indirectly by men’s actions and what they have demonstrated, unknowingly, to me in the last twenty years.
In this time many couples have attended the “Making Love” workshops for couples that I colead with my partner, Raja. During the workshops, truly touching miracles take place every day. Many of the couples reexperience the dynamic love that brought them together in the first place, and have been able to continue into the future in loving harmony. However, not all partnerships are equally successful and sometimes couples have separated. In time, naturally, those who have separated have formed new relationships. As these new relationships begin to take hold, I’ve noticed something quite phenomenal and unexpected happening in the groups. The men who had attended my workshops before are returning to the workshops. It is the
men
who have been coming back to share this alternative approach to sexuality with their new female partners because they have experienced how the tantric
approach can enhance love. To my greatest surprise, women (though they found the first workshops as uplifting as their partners did) have been much slower on the rebound. Only in the very recent past have women participants come back to repeat the workshop with new loved ones.
The fact that many men but few women return to the workshops with their new lovers offers two important insights. The first is that we women are afraid to talk to men about sex and are reluctant to share with men what pleases our bodies most. We hesitate to introduce our male partners to any alternative sexual approaches. The main fear for a woman is that of losing her man, of ceasing to be sexually attractive to him if she changes. Sadly, when
women choose to stay with conventional sex—which is a distorted form of male sexuality—we give away our unique feminine magic and power.
The second insight is much more encouraging, and I hope it will give women the confidence to be more authoritative in the sexual sphere. The fact that men
are
bringing women back to the workshops clearly demonstrates that men develop a liking for another form of sexual expression once they have tasted it. How can a man have a taste for something he has never experienced? Often tantric sexuality has to be experienced before the longing for it can arise.
From both men and women who have no personal experience with tantra I repeatedly hear the comment, “Tantra seems to be for women, not for men.” Based on my own exploration and on the encouraging response of the men who attend my workshops, I can say with all certainty, “No, tantra is not only for women. It is definitely for men too.” Tantra is not simply something designed to make women happy (and men not so happy), a way of giving women the reins for a while. When a man has had one taste of the delicious depths and heights of expanded sexual energy, invariably he wants
it again. But unless women make available their true femininity to men, how and where and when can men develop a taste for it?
Here and there you might find a woman who naturally has the knack of receiving and channeling masculine sexual energy upward during intercourse and can lift sex to another dimension for herself and her man. The truth is that a woman can consciously develop this art and guide her man into an expanded sexual sphere—and thereby create for herself more satisfying sexual experiences. A woman has the natural capacity to enter this realm simply by virtue of being a woman. She who is the receptive aspect in the male-female dynamic can move inward and draw or pull man along with her. This is her intrinsic power. Through receptivity, through giving way and yielding, inherent movement is possible. The opposite does not hold quite so true: generally speaking, man cannot easily initiate the experience of opening a doorway and absorbing woman into him. To do so requires great stillness and the clarity of true male authority. When the receptive (feminine) aspect gives way, actually receiving what is coming to it, its very receptivity enables the dynamic (masculine) energy to move and flow.
In this way man easily and naturally follows woman; he can even wordlessly flow into exalted realms with woman
if
he is fortunate enough to encounter receptive feminine energy.
Woman is the real starting point for the necessary reeducation in sex. This
movement has to take root in women and spread from them out into society—through
lovers, friends, one-night stands, through mothers teaching daughters and
fathers teaching sons. It requires that women begin to speak up for themselves,
expressing their needs and sensitivities, and that men take urgent heed of these
messages. The greatest potential for true sexual fulfillment and love lies in a woman and a man joined together on a mutual journey of sexual self-discovery.
Nevertheless, a woman can do much without the conscious cooperation of a man.
Sex is about as close to ourselves as we can get; it reaches, touches, and
changes every cell of our bodies. Through exploring sex we will discover who we
really are beneath all the social pretensions and conventions that we habitually use to cover up our deeper sexual selves.
My source of tantric inspiration and guidance is my spiritual master, Osho. Osho, or Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh, as he was known earlier in his life, teaches meditation not as a practice but as a way of life. He is a mystic who brings the timeless wisdom of the East to bear upon the urgent questions facing men and women today. He speaks of the search for harmony, wholeness, and love that lies at the core of all religious and spiritual traditions, illuminating the essence of Christianity, Hassidism, Buddhism, Sufism, Tantra, Tao, Yoga, and Zen.
There are no words to express my depth of gratitude for his profound and continuing impact on my life. Osho’s interpretation of the ancient tantric scriptures creates a superior body of knowledge and insight that I have been fortunate enough to have access to since my mid-twenties.
Tantra is beyond technique; it is a profound journey of self-discovery and self-transformation, an alchemical process of transmuting base energies to higher spiritual expression. Some techniques can be used along the way, but the secret of tantra lies in bringing that which is sexually unconscious in us into full consciousness. Osho says, “Tantra is the transformation
of sex into love through awareness.” This implies that
how
we do something is infinitely more important than
what
we do.
It is my privilege to include some excerpts of Osho’s tantric inspiration throughout this book. It may perhaps interest the reader to know that Osho’s words, appearing here in text form, were initially delivered as off-the-cuff oral discourses, completely spontaneous and without any previous preparation, at gatherings for his disciples and interested public in India. Later these were published in book form. I wish to make it clear that the handful of quotes appearing here are simply those that I chose to include. They in no way represent the full range and extraordinary diversity of Osho’s spiritual insight into the human condition.
Osho Speaks on Sex
I have almost four hundred books in my name. Out of four hundred books there is only one book on sex, and that too is not really on sex; it is basically on how to transcend sex, how to bring the energy of sex to a sublimated state, because it is our basic energy. It can produce life. . . . It is only man who has the privilege to change the character and the quality of sexual energy. The name of the book is
From Sex to Superconsciousness
—but nobody talks about superconsciousness. The book is about superconsciousness; sex is only to be the beginning, where everybody is.
There are methods that can start the energy moving upwards, and in the East, for at least ten thousand years, there has developed a special science, Tantra. There is no parallel in the West of such a science. For ten thousand years people have experimented with how sexual energy can become your spirituality, how your sexuality can become your spirituality. It is proved beyond doubt—thousands of people have gone through the transformation. Tantra seems to be the science that is, sooner or later, going to be accepted in the whole world, because people are suffering from all kinds of perversions. That’s why they go on talking about sex as if that is my work, as if twenty-four hours a day I am talking about sex. Their repressed sexuality is the problem. My whole effort has been how to make your sex a natural, accepted phenomenon, so there is no repression—and
then you don’t need any pornography; so that there is no repression—and then you don’t dream of sex. Then the energy can be transformed.
There are valid methods available through which the same energy that brings life to the world can bring a new life to you. That was the whole theme of the book. But nobody bothered about the theme, nobody bothered about why I have spoken on it. Just the word
sex
was in the title, and that was enough.
The book is not for sex; it is the only book in the whole existence against sex, but strange. . . . The book says that there is a way to go beyond sex, you can transcend sex—that’s the meaning of “from sex to superconsciousness.” You are at the stage of sex while you should be at the stage of superconsciousness. And the route is simple: sex just has to be part of your religious life, it has to be something sacred. Sex has to be something not obscene, not pornographic, not condemned, not repressed but immensely respected, because we are born out of it. It is our very life source. And to condemn the life source is to condemn everything. Sex has to be raised higher and higher to its ultimate peak. And that ultimate peak is samadhi, superconsciousness.
O
SHO, TRANSCRIBED TEACHINGS
,
S
EX
M
ATTERS
: F
ROM
S
EX TO
S
UPERCONSCIOUSNESS
(
INCLUDED AT THE REQUEST OF
O
SHO
I
NTERNATIONAL
)