On Every Side (32 page)

Faith loved the way Pastor Todd Pynch taught the story He smiled often and even laughed on occasion, so that Faith and everyone in the small congregation felt as though they were there alongside Jesus, walking near the donkey, sitting across the table in the upper room.

Immediately after Judas's decision to betray Jesus, the Lord made plans with two of his trusted followers to prepare for the Passover meal. Faith smiled as she recalled Pastor Pynch's com-ments: “Notice how Judas was left out of the loop as they pre-pared that meal. Nothing happened that weekend that wasn't exactly as Jesus had planned it. His life wasn't taken from Him. He gave it up willingly.”

The story brought Faith as much comfort now as it had last Sunday Especially given her current situation. She was a marked woman, with no likely prospects for a television news job unless she was willing to somehow back out of the Jesus statue case—
which she wasn't. There were no signs of potential adoptive par-ents for Rosa Lee, and Faith's childhood friend had not only turned on God, but because of his bitterness, was willing even to stand against her in court. Meanwhile a statue of Jesus Christ, her loving Lord, could very likely wind up hidden behind a brick wall.

Indeed, things seemed to be spinning in all the wrong directions.

But the truth was something altogether different. Something Joshua had tried to explain to her, the very point the minister had reiterated at church last Sunday.

God was in control.

Wherever there were people who loved Him, who lived according to His truth, God would continue to work all things to the good. Even in this.

Faith closed her Bible and stared outside at the garden her father had planted. Shrubs and rosebushes stood barren but for a few tenacious buds.
You were in control back when Jordan's mother died too, right, God?

She flipped to the very last page in her Bible, the blank space after the concordance and maps and historical facts. The place for personal notes. Faith had gotten the Bible for her thirteenth birthday, and back then, back when the Lord didn't seem to be hearing Jordan, she'd written her thoughts on that last page.

It had been years since she'd read what was written there, but today, in the silence of her parents’ house, she was drawn back the way a moth is drawn to a porch light. She was suddenly des-perate to remember her little-girl heart and the way she'd felt when life was falling apart for Jordan Riley She'd written dates next to her earliest entries; her words scribbled in the smallest print possible.
Nov. 3, 1985
—
Why is this happening, God? I told Jordan to read the verse that says, “Whatever
you ask in my name, I will do it… “But his mom is still sick Help me understand…

And another entry six weeks later:
Jordan's mother died…his sister got taken away… Didn't we pray hard enough, Lord? Didn't You hear us?

Faith let her eyes read over those entries again and again until tears clouded her vision. Suddenly she understood her own motive for waging battle on behalf of the Jesus statue. It was as clear as if someone had lit a match in the darkest cavern of her heart. The losses Jordan suffered that fall had changed her as much as they'd changed him. Indeed, they'd affected everything about their lives since then.

For Jordan, the unanswered questions and bitter seeds of doubt had sprouted into a full-blown war that raged in his heart to this day. He'd taken up his position, deciding that God either didn't exist or He was the enemy Faith's reaction had been the exact opposite.

At first, with no answers to anchor to, Faith had lived life with a lack of conviction. She spoke like a believer, attended church, and read her Bible, but her life choices bore out some-thing altogether different. The hard decisions—what to do when Mike Dillon pressured her, when to take a stand in her role as television anchor, whether to adopt Rosa Lee—were decisions she made without seeking God. Instead they were decisions she made out of fear. Fear of losing Mike, losing her job, failing Rosa Lee.

And now, for the first time, she understood why Deep down in the hidden places of her heart Faith had been afraid that if she depended on God, He would let her down… just as He'd let Jordan down the winter of 1985. Without consciously acknowledging it, she'd decided long ago it was better not to ask much of God. And she'd built her life around that
philosophy… until the Jesus statue came under attack.

In light of her father's death and the judge's mandate that the statue be removed, Faith had unwittingly recognized it was time. Time to take God out of the closet and see what He might do in response to her prayers.

That was why this case meant so much to her. She desper-ately-wanted to believe again, the way she'd believed in the days before Jordan's mother got sick. The Jesus statue wasn't the only thing with walls around it. Faith had put walls around God Himself. Protective walls, so that the Lord of her childhood might never be called upon to do anything miraculous, anything that might not come to pass and cause Faith to be disappointed. Anything that might put Him in a bad light.

The rain was coming harder now, and tears came from the depths of Faith's soul. She ran her fingers over her neatly written words, the painfully penned cries that had come from her child like heart. She would never know this side of heaven why God had taken Jordan's mother, why life had been so hard on him back then. But she knew what Scripture taught. She closed her eyes and let the verse from John wash over her soul: “In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

That was it, wasn't it?

Jesus had overcome the world. Regardless of how things turned out here and now, He was in control. Just like He'd been back when Judas agreed to betray Him. Nothing, not death or anger or lawsuits or lost jobs or homeless children, nothing could derail God's plans. The revelation felt like someone had lifted a truck from Faith's shoulders, and she desperately wished the same for Jordan.

A knock at the door pulled Faith back to reality. She closed her Bible, thanking God for letting her finally understand the fear
that had eaten at her all her life, the poor decisions she'd made as a young adult, and her current determination to fight for what was right. She padded across the living room and opened the front door.

What she saw sent her heart spinning into her throat.

“Jordan…” He was so handsome, so much like the boy he'd been all those years ago. And this time the hard edges around his eyes were gone. She composed herself and held his gaze for a moment before speaking.
God, I don't know why You brought him here, hut use me…
give me
the words to say so that maybe he could understand You better
She swallowed hard and motioned toward the living room. “Come in.”

Jordan had debated long and hard about making the trip to Faith's house, but in the end he knew he had no choice. With her skills as a reporter and her status as the town's most favorite per-son, she was possibly the only one who could help him find the files. And they needed to be found. Ever since their conversation the other day he'd wondered if somehow Heidi had gotten wrong information. If she believed—wherever she was—that he was dead, buried these past sixteen years. The visit would be purely informational, he'd told himself. He'd ask Faith for help, but avoid anything else.

Then she opened the door—and he had to order his emotions back into place. What kind of fool was he to fight against a woman like Faith Evans? Her eyes were so blue he felt sucked into them, and he struggled to remember why he'd come at all. She interrupted his thoughts with her invitation.

“Thanks.” He wiped his feet on the outdoor mat and stepped inside. “Sorry to bug you at home.”

Faith crossed her arms and lowered her head, her eyes lifted to his expectantly.

Jordan felt like a blushing schoolboy in her presence and he
forced himself to speak. “I'm… sorry I didn't talk to you the other day at court.”

She shrugged, her face still full of questions. Obviously he hadn't come to tell her that.

“Is your mother home?” Through all that had happened those past few months in Bethany he was sorry he hadn't seen Faith's mom, the woman who had been so helpful those last weeks before his own mother died.

“No.” Faith's voice was quiet, guarded. “She's still in Chicago.”

He nodded and studied his wet shoes as the tension between them grew He wanted to take her in his arms and apologize for the other night, tell her that he needed her, and beg her not to hate him for his views against God. But he knew the idea was ridiculous. If he was going to get her help with the files, he'd bet-ter ask her now, before she kicked him out. He lifted his eyes to hers and held her gaze. “I need your help.”

She stepped back and something in her features softened. “Take off your shoes.” She leaned against the wall, her head angled in a way that reminded him of the young girl she'd been. “We can talk in the living room.”

Jordan slipped off his loafers and followed her, waiting until she settled into the recliner before taking the chair beside her. “I want to see Heidi's file…in case the state gave her the wrong information.”

“About the accident?” Faith's tone was hesitant, but at least she hadn't asked him to leave.

“Right. I've been to the courthouse and the records are sealed. I guess the file might even be at a different office now.” He shrugged. “No one gives me a straight answer.”

Faith nodded and shot a look at the ceiling. After a moment her gaze returned to his. “What about
your
file? Have you looked at that?”

Jordan settled back in his chair and stared at her. “Why my file? There wouldn't be anything there about Heidi.”

“No, but there'd be information about you. Like whether the state thinks you died.”

Jordan shook his head, trying to follow her reasoning. “No, because the state sent me to the next boys’ camp.”

“Right, but it was in a different state. It's possible they opened a new file on you there and never corrected the one in Pennsylvania.”

Jordan felt the smallest ray of hope pierce his heart. “I have nothing to do today or tomorrow and I thought… “He exhaled slowly and dropped his gaze to the floor. Why should she help him now, after he'd been so rude the other night, letting her run off without even trying to stop her.

Before he could voice his question, before he could excuse himself and tell her to forget he'd ever come, he felt her hand on his. He caught her look and saw a love he hadn't known since leaving Oak Street. A love for which he had no earthly explanation. “Jordan, I understand your political stance. I know we're public enemies at this point, but that doesn't change who I am inside. Or who you are.” She smiled through eyes wet with tears. “I'll do whatever I can to help you.”

They took his car and entered the courthouse thirty minutes later.

Faith was careful not to let her emotions get the upper hand, not to let Jordan too close. She did not want a repeat of the ten-der, stolen moments they'd exchanged the other night—not when she knew there was no future for Jordan and her. Not together, anyway.

As they parked the car, Jordan turned to her, and she could see the apology in his eyes. “This could be uncomfortable for you.”

She understood. People would recognize them and wonder why they were together. Faith refused to acknowledge her con-cerns about the matter. “For you, too.”

The muscles in his jaw tensed, and he caught her gaze and held it. “I couldn't care less what people think about me.”

Faith wondered at the strength of his statement. She'd seen him talking to a man who was obviously a colleague the other day at court. Clearly the case held great significance to him both professionally and personally. But that wasn't her concern. She cast him a guarded smile and opened the car door. “Okay let's Jordan wore a sweatshirt, blue jeans, and a baseball cap, and Faith figured the lack of a suit would help hide his identity He kept his gaze on the floor, the bill of his cap down as they made their way to the front desk. Faith recognized the woman at the counter and smiled. “Hey Cheri, how're you doing?”

The woman's eyes instantly lit up, and she grinned at Faith. “I've seen you on TV and in the papers, Faith. Everyone's so proud of you… giving up your job and all.” The woman leaned forward as though she had an important secret. “The whole town's rooting for you.”

The woman's words warmed Faith's heart, and again she thought of the revelation she'd had earlier that morning. No mat-ter how it looked, God was in control. “Thanks, Cheri.”

The woman glanced at Jordan, who was standing a ways off looking at a pamphlet he'd picked up from the counter. Faith was quick to explain. “He's an old friend.”

Apparently Cheri didn't recognize him, and she turned her attention back to Faith. “So what can I do for you?”

“Well…” Faith moved as close as she could against the counter. She didn't waht one of the other clerks to hear her request. Cheri was an acquaintance from high school, and Faith
was fairly certain the woman would get whatever files Faith needed. Even if it meant bending a rule or two. “I need to see a couple of foster care files. They might be sealed, but I'll only take a few minutes with them.”

Nervousness flashed in Cheri's eyes, but she nodded. “Okay 111 see what I can do. What're the names?”

Faith paused. “Heidi and Jordan Riley They were brother and sister.”

As soon as Faith said the names, Cheri's eyes opened wide. “The same Jordan Riley who's attacking our town?”

Faith had hoped the woman wouldn't ask, but now she had no choice but to be honest. She tried to sound confident. “Exactly”

Cheri's eyebrows bunched in the center of her forehead. “Does this have something to do with the Jesus statue case?”

Adrenaline flooded Faith's bloodstream as she searched for an honest answer. Did it have something to do with the case? Well, if the files helped Jordan find Heidi and if that, in turn, helped him get past his anger with God… then it would have everything to do with the case. “Yes.” She nodded her head firmly. “Yes, it does.”