On The Texas Border (17 page)

“The accident.”

Jonas’s hand gripped his hat. “I think we’ve talked that one to death.”

“No, we haven’t. You don’t know the whole truth.”

“What truth?” Jonas asked in a guarded voice.

Brewster looked through the windows to the sky, as if he needed to see wide-open spaces. “My son…my son wasn’t the angel I made him out to
be.” A slight pause, then he said, “He was in trouble all the time. He wouldn’t study or stay in school. He thought that since his father had money, the world was his playground. He spent eight years in college, and I finally had to buy his diploma.” He stopped. “That night we argued, and I told him if he didn’t marry the girl he was dating and settle down, I was going to disinherit him. He’d been drinking all day, and he blew up and ran out of the house before I could stop him. The last thing he said to me was
I hate you.
” He paused for a second. “His alcohol level was higher than that of any of the teenagers, but I had the reports destroyed.”

Jonas’s vocal cords closed up. He hadn’t expected this, and for a moment he was back in the body of that young boy who’d felt so lost and afraid.

“I hated you because you lived and he didn’t, and I took out my grief, my anger and my guilt on you. The truth is, the sheriff couldn’t do much to you. You were a kid in the wrong place at the wrong time, but I never let you believe that. I wanted you close so you could pay for my son’s death. I needed someone to pay.” He took a breath. “I drove you hard that first year and I treated you badly. I’m sorry for that, but I never broke your spirit. If there was any weakness in you, Jonas, I never found it. You became the man my son would never have been.”

Jonas was waiting for his anger to overtake him, but nothing happened. Why wasn’t he consumed with rage? This old man had used him unscrupulously to justify his own guilt. But all Jonas felt was a release. It was as if a steel band had popped around his heart and he could breathe normally for the first time in years.

He hadn’t killed Brewster’s son. No one had. It had been a horrible accident.

“I realize you don’t want anything from me,” Brewster added as an afterthought.

Jonas stood, his hat in his hand. “No, I don’t.”

“I’ve seen your accounts at the bank. You’ve saved just about every dime I’ve paid you over the past twenty years, except what you’ve spent on that motorcycle and your apartment and given to workers when they needed money. It’s grown into a hefty amount, so when I die I know you’ll want for nothing.”

Except for Abby,
he thought.

“That leaves me the problem of what to do with Brewster Farms. My family’s nothing to brag about, but they’re all I have. And Abigail doesn’t want anything from me. She’s made that very clear.”

“Yes, she has,” Jonas had to admit, and he had to say something else. “What you do with Brewster Farms is up to you, because when you do…when you go…I’ll be leaving, too.” He could see that clearly. There would be nothing for him here—just a lot of bad memories. But now that the time for him to leave was at hand, he felt little joy.

He’d thought that everything would be complete if Abby was here. But Abby was never going to live here. Her home and job were in Dallas. He had to finally admit that he was living in a fool’s paradise.

“I figured as much.” Brewster sighed regretfully. “Would you do one last thing for me?”

“I’ll try.”

“I’ve made you executor of my will, and I’d appreciate it if you’d carry out my last wishes. That’s all I ask.”

Jonas swallowed. The thought of dealing with Edna, Jules and Darby was daunting, but he said, “I’ll do my best.”

Brewster took a ragged breath as if he was at peace. Of its own volition, Jonas’s hand reached out and touched the gnarled one lying on the bed. Brewster’s hand gripped his with a strength that surprised him.

“That’s all you’ve ever given me,” Brewster said, his voice cracking on the last word. Jonas walked out of the room in silence.

He stood outside the door and brushed away a silly tear. He hadn’t cried in years and he wouldn’t now. He put his hat on his head and went back to his office.

A
BBY HAD ARRANGED
to meet Kyle at a restaurant. She wanted people around. She knew that she didn’t have to see him, but she wanted to make sure he understood that their marriage was over. He seemed to think that since he’d straightened out his life, she should fall back into his arms. She had to disabuse him of that idea.

She put on makeup and did her hair. Not for Kyle, but for herself. Holly was right. She’d been wallowing in self-pity. It was time to stop.

She walked into the restaurant and spotted Kyle at a nearby table. He waved and she went over. He tried to take her in his arms, and she backed away.

“Please, don’t touch me,” she said, more sharply than she’d intended.

Kyle held up his hands. “Sorry, it was just a reflex action.”

Abby sat down before he could pull out her chair.
She stared at him briefly. He wore a dark blue suit and a matching tie and handkerchief. He was an impeccable dresser. That was one of the things that had attracted her to him. That and his blond hair, blue eyes and an athletic build. His attractiveness did nothing for her now. It was all superficial. She’d learned that the hard way. Underneath, Kyle had a temper that frightened her. Jonas also had a quick temper, but she’d never been afraid of him and she never would be.

“What would you like to drink?” Kyle asked.

He must have seen the shock on her face.

“It’s all right, Abby,” he said. “I’m not drinking, but I know you like to have wine occasionally. It won’t bother me. I can handle it.”

Abby linked her fingers in her lap. “I don’t drink anymore.”

Kyle lifted an eyebrow. “Since when?”

Since I met Jonas.
“It’s just a choice I made,” she said. She saw the hope in his eyes and added, “It has nothing to do with you.”

“I see,” he said moodily, and asked, “What would you like to drink?”

Coke and peanuts.

Suddenly Jonas was controlling her thoughts, and she didn’t know why. Maybe it was the obvious contrast between the two men. Jonas had substance and character, and he didn’t need clothes or anything else to make him a man. Kyle was the complete opposite, and she wondered how she had ever thought she loved him. And she wondered why she’d put up with so much, trying to make that a reality. She answered her own question: foolish pride. She never liked to fail at anything.

“Abby?” Kyle tried again.

She collected her thoughts. “Tea, please.”

Kyle signaled the waiter and, after he left, said, “You look wonderful.”

She had to swallow the bitter taste in her mouth before she could say, “Thank you.”

“I’m so glad you agreed to see me.”

“You haven’t left me much choice.”

“I’m sorry for all the phone calls, but I wanted to apologize and I wanted you to see how I’ve changed. I’m working now…for your rival paper. I never miss my AA meetings.” He paused. “I’m so sorry I hit you, but I was drunk and I didn’t know what I was doing. The thought of you with another man made me crazy.”

The waiter placed iced tea in front of them, stopping conversation. Abby touched the cool glass with her fingers. “I know you’re sorry, but it doesn’t change anything. It doesn’t change the way I feel.”

He closed his eyes briefly. “Don’t say that.”

“It’s true,” she stated. “I don’t love you and I haven’t for a very long time.”

“You never gave our marriage a chance,” he said in a spiteful tone, and she knew the old Kyle was just below the surface. “It made me so angry when you wouldn’t have a child. It would have changed so many things.”

She knew she had to say some things he didn’t want to hear. “You thought I refused because I didn’t love you, but it wasn’t that, as I told you. A child should be brought into a solid family with love, happiness and stability.”

The way I was.

That thought was another jolt to her heart, and this
time she couldn’t ignore it. Her parents had given her so much love, so much—

“We could have had those things if you had tried harder.”

His words had her full attention. “Excuse me?”

“Your job was all-important to you, and you had very little time for me, but you had time for all the other men at the paper.”

She didn’t know why she’d made the effort. Kyle hadn’t changed at all. She started to push back her chair.

He reached out and grabbed her hand. “I’m sorry, but you make me crazy. Oh, Abby, I love you and I miss you.”

She was never going to be free of Kyle unless she ended it right now. She slowly removed her hand. “We’ve been divorced for four months now. We didn’t have much of a marriage before that. So does that mean you’ve been celibate all this time?”

He drew back. “What?”

“You say that you love me and miss me, so I’m assuming that means I’m the only woman for you and that you haven’t been with anyone else.”

The tips of his ears turned red. “Well…”

“Who do you think you’re fooling? You slept with other women while we were married.” It was just a guess, but she had her suspicions.

His ears turned completely red, and her suspicions were confirmed. All those nights when he was out drinking, she’d wondered where he was. Now she knew.

“Abby.”

“No, Kyle, you listen to me. Our marriage is over…completely. Stop calling me and my friends.
Tell your mother to stop calling, too. Our association ends now. Get on with your life because that’s what I’m doing.”

She stood and walked away.

O
N THE WAY
to her apartment, she stopped and bought a paper. She hadn’t read today’s edition. That was the trouble with being a reporter—she never had time to read.

She laid the paper on the seat and drove toward her apartment. She was glad she’d seen Kyle. That door was closed, locked and sealed for good. Now she could admit that one of the reasons she’d seen him was that she wanted to see if she could find any of the old Abby—the one who didn’t know she was Simon Brewster’s daughter. But that woman was gone…as was her love for Kyle. She now had to deal with the fact that she was Simon Brewster’s daughter. Somehow, someway…

She stopped at a red light and glanced down at the paper. “A Good Man” caught her attention and she picked it up. As she read, her whole body began to tremble. “Oh my God, oh my God,” she moaned, and tears poured from her eyes.

Cars began honking behind her, and she realized the light was green. She wiped her eyes with the palms of her hands, held the paper to her chest and drove on.

J
ONAS PACED IN HIS APARTMENT
. He had made up his mind to call Abby and he didn’t know why it was so hard. She’d had enough time for the wounds to start to heal. If he and Brewster could find a common ground, then there was hope for them all.

Before his courage failed, he grabbed the phone and punched in her number. A feminine voice answered, but it wasn’t Abby’s.

“Hello, is anyone there?” the voice asked abruptly.

Jonas was about to hang up, thinking he’d dialed the wrong number, when the voice said, “Kyle, is that you? Abby should be at the restaurant by now, so why are you calling? You got what you wanted.”

Jonas slowly replaced the receiver and stared off into space. Abby was seeing her ex-husband. Why? Why would she do that? He remembered how angry she’d gotten when her mother had suggested she hadn’t tried hard enough to make her marriage work.

He went into his bedroom, pulled out his suitcase and packed. He knew Dallas was his destination. He had to go see Abby. He should have gone weeks ago, but he’d wanted to give her some time. Later his stupid pride held him back. Now nothing would keep him away from her. All it took was a little old-
fashioned jealousy, and his pride went right out the window.

He couldn’t leave immediately. He had to wait for a flight to Dallas out of Brownsville. It was the fastest way. He told Stuart where he was going, and Stuart thought it was great. Brenda and several of Abby’s friends were worried about her. He debated whether to tell Brewster, and then decided not to. He didn’t want the old man to expect too much. Maria had Jonas’s cell number in case anything happened while he was gone.

A
BBY WALKED INTO HER APARTMENT
feeling numb. She held the paper in her hand. She vaguely noticed that Holly was there.

“I left my earrings over here the other day and I came to…” Holly’s voice trailed off as she noticed Abby’s expression.

“Abby, what’s wrong?”

She handed Holly the paper.
Wow,
Holly mouthed as she read.

“I’ve been working on the Coleman piece for two days. I haven’t been in to the office. Why didn’t someone tell us?”

Holly shrugged. “It’s a big paper, and I’m sure the decision to print this came from high up. Someone who didn’t connect the story to one of its reporters.”

Abby sank onto the sofa. “I can’t believe how many nice things Mr. Brewster said about my father.”

“Yeah,” Holly said as she continued to read. “Seems like he’s reaching out to you.”

Abby didn’t say anything. She was locked some
where between the little girl that was Abe Duncan’s child and the grown woman who knew herself to be Simon Brewster’s daughter.

Which one was she? Would the real Abigail Duncan stand up?
Please.

“I’m sorry.” Holly put down the paper. “I’ve got to run. I have a late date with Brent, the accountant. That’s why I was looking for my earrings.”

Abby still didn’t say anything.

“Are you gonna be all right?” Holly asked.

Abby found her voice. “Yes.”

“Abby, I—”

“Don’t worry about me.” Her voice was stern, and Holly got the message.

“Okay, then, I’ll talk to you in the morning.” At the door Holly stopped. “Did you meet Kyle tonight?”

Abby nodded.

“Strange, the phone rang earlier, and I answered it. The other person wouldn’t answer and I thought it was Kyle. The battery was out on your caller ID. I replaced it for you. See you later.”

Could it have been Jonas? Was Jonas trying to reach her? She curled up on the sofa. Oh God, Jonas. I need you.

Abby didn’t know how long she lay there with feelings threatening to overwhelm her. Soon she got to her feet and went into the bedroom, searching for her carryall. She found it in the back of the closet and pulled it out. Inside were all the tapes Mr. Brewster had dictated to her. She sat on the floor listening to each one…learning about his poverty as a boy, his service in the war, his struggle to start Brewster Farms and his heartbreak over losing his only son.
By morning she was still sitting on the floor—the tapes all around her. She had thought that Simon Brewster was a cruel and evil man who didn’t care about other people. But he wasn’t. He’d cared for his mother and made sure she never had to go hungry. He’d amassed an empire from nothing but a few acres of farmland. As his profits grew, he bought more land. He needed laborers to work the land, so he offered good jobs to the people of Hope—better than they could have gotten anywhere else. His objective was to boost the economy and keep people in Hope. He also offered the Mexicans a better way of life than they had across the border. He paid them fair wages and gave them housing. He built the clinic and hospital so everyone could have access to medical services. He’d loved his son and that love drove him to take Jonas in, under devious means, but it gave Jonas a direction, a focus in life. Something he didn’t have on the streets. Simon Brewster had many facets and…and
he
was her father.

For the first time, the words didn’t feel like a betrayal to the man whom she loved as her father. They were just a statement of the truth. A truth that didn’t burn or hurt until she couldn’t breathe. It was a truth she had to live with.

She put the tapes away and went to take a shower. When she came out, the phone was ringing. She glanced at the caller ID and saw that it was her mother. It rang a couple more times, then Abby reached out and picked up the receiver.

“Mama,” came out as a strangulated sound.

“Abby, sweetheart, oh, Abby,” Gail murmured. “Thank you for answering.”

Abby took the phone and sat on the bed. “It’s time
we talked,” she said, knowing Gail had given her total love and support. She’d given her the space to develop her own ideas and opinions. She’d taught her to be independent and strong. Abby owed her, at the very least, a chance to explain.

“Did you love him?”

“Oh, Abby, I wish I could say that I did, but I didn’t. I’ve always loved your father,” Gail replied honestly, and Abby was glad she wasn’t going to lie to her. “As I told you, we were having a rough time. We’d been married four years and I wanted a baby, but nothing was happening. I guess I became obsessed with it. When I mentioned adoption, Abe became furious. That did something to him. He started sleeping on the sofa, and later he moved in with a friend. He said he couldn’t take the pressure anymore and that he’d be filing for divorce. I was devastated. While I was waiting for a teaching job to open up, I took a job at Brewster Farms to be near him, to try to change his mind, but it only made matters worse. He wouldn’t talk to me. I started taking papers and forms up to the house for Simon to sign. His wife had left him, and he was distressed over it. We began talking, and gradually it led to other things. He was older, exciting and different from Abe. He made me feel attractive.”

A long pause.

“You and Daddy were separated during this time?” She had not known her parents had spent any time apart.

“Yes.”

Her mother had said that he’d moved in with a friend, and Abby didn’t ask who. If it was another woman, she didn’t want to know. She knew too
much already. She remembered her mother saying something about her father not being a saint, and Abby was willing to leave it at that.

“The affair lasted about a month, then Simon’s wife came back and he said it was over. I was so depressed that I quit my job and stayed in my bathrobe for days. I felt used and I didn’t know what I was going to do. Then Abe showed up one morning and said he still loved me and missed me and wanted to come home. I suddenly had my world back and I wanted to tell him about Simon. I was so afraid he’d leave me again, so I kept my mouth shut. Then I realized I was pregnant and knew it couldn’t be Abe’s. I struggled with my conscience, but Abe was so happy that I couldn’t tell him. He never even questioned when you were born early. He just loved you with all his heart.”

Abby knew that. She’d felt it every day of her life.

“When did Mr. Brewster find out?”

“A couple of years ago. When he read that report on Abe’s desk, he came to me wanting answers. I told him that you weren’t his, but I could see he didn’t believe me. He kept coming back until I told him the truth. He swore he’d never tell you. He promised me.”

“That’s why he planned that elaborate ruse about Delores Alvarez,” Abby said. “Delores was the only one who’d seen you together.”

“Yes. That’s why I did those crazy things. I never wanted you to know. I’m sorry about Rios. Everything got out of hand. Oh, sweetheart, I never meant for any of this to happen. Please forgive me.”

“Did Daddy forgive you?”

Silence stretched, and Abby asked again, “Did Daddy forgive you?”

Quietly her mother said, “He wouldn’t talk to me for two days. Then one day he came into the kitchen and wrapped his arms around me and said that I had given him the greatest gift of all so he had nothing to be angry about. I had given him you. He was hurt that I had slept with someone else, but he said he’d get over it. I was grateful for his loving generosity and I thought all our problems were over. Then he became ill, and we found out about the cancer.”

Abby remembered Gail’s devotion to her father during those difficult months. She had never left his side. And when she stepped out of the room for a moment, Abe would ask for her, and Abby knew he had completely forgiven her. Those last days proved their love for each other.

“I’m telling you the truth, Abby, and it’s hard,” Gail added. “I’m sorry, but I don’t regret having you. I did a lot of stupid things, but I can’t regret that.”

Abby swallowed and blinked back tears. “I’ve got to go,” she muttered.

“I love you, Abby. No matter what I do or what you do, nothing will ever change that.”

“I know, Mama. I’ll talk to you soon.” She quickly hung up because the waterworks were about to erupt.

She had known her parents as people who loved her and were always there for her. Now she saw them as human beings with faults, desires and weaknesses. The revelation didn’t overwhelm her or shatter her. It gave her an insight into two people who had truly loved each other. And she got a glimpse of herself—
a woman who was strengthened by their weaknesses. Slowly she could feel Abigail Duncan emerging from the dark mist that had surrounded her, and she knew she’d soon be able to embrace life again. She’d be different, but that was what life was all about…changes.

S
HE DRESSED AND HURRIED
to the paper to turn in the Coleman story. She thought someone would mention the article in the paper. When they didn’t, she realized no one had connected it to her, just as Holly had said. They worked together as colleagues, but they knew very little about each other’s personal lives, unlike her and Holly, who had known each other for years.

Abby went back to her apartment and fell into a deep sleep. She woke up to the sound of Holly’s voice.

“Abby? Abby? Are you ill?”

Abby pushed herself into a sitting position. She’d been dreaming a wonderful dream of Jonas, and now it was gone. “Why are waking me?” Abby muttered crossly.

“It’s seven o’clock in the evening and I was worried when you wouldn’t answer the door. I saw your car outside.”

Abby frowned. “You’ve been knocking?”

“Yes.”

“I haven’t heard a thing. I must have been completely wiped out.”

“I’ll say,” Holly said, then her eyes narrowed. “You didn’t take anything, did you?”

Abby shook her head. “Stop worrying and hand me my robe. I’m hungry.”

Holly threw a white silk robe at her. “That’s a twist. You’ve hardly eaten a thing in weeks.”

Abby slipped from the covers into the robe. All she had on was her bra and panties. She had been so drained when she got in that she hadn’t bothered with a gown. Now she felt refreshed and hungry.

Holly followed her into the kitchen. Abby opened the refrigerator and glanced inside. There wasn’t much to eat. Then she spotted a Coke and smiled. Jonas was still on her mind. She grabbed it and rummaged in the pantry. She didn’t have peanuts, but she found a Snickers candy bar. Sitting on a bar stool, she popped the top of the can.

“You’re having Coke and Snickers?” Holly asked in disbelief.

“Yeah, and it’s pretty damn good. Want some?”

Holly held up a hand. “No, thanks, but why don’t we go out to dinner and a movie? I’m free for the rest of the evening.”

“Sounds great,” Abby said, taking a bite of the Snickers. “Let’s see a love story. A gooey, mushy love story that will make us want to grab the first man we see.”

Holly watched her closely. “Are you sure you didn’t take something?”

“Will you stop worrying.” Abby sighed. “I didn’t take anything. Besides, what would I take—aspirin?”

“You’re different…almost like your old self,” Holly commented.

“Yes, I’m finding my way back,” she admitted. “Abigail Duncan’s going to be fine.”

“You talked to your mother,” Holly guessed.

“I did, and we got through a lot of stuff.”

“That’s great, Abby,” Holly said. “Did you talk to Jonas?”

“No, not yet, but I will soon.” It felt good to say the words, and her heart beat faster at the prospect. She wasn’t confused anymore. She loved Jonas. That feeling hadn’t changed.

She slipped off the bar stool. “I’ll be ready in a jiff.”

As Holly threw the empty can and candy wrapper in the trash, the doorbell rang. “I’ll get it,” she called to Abby.

Holly swung open the door, and her eyes widened.

Jonas removed his hat. “Howdy, ma’am,” he said. “I was looking for Abigail Duncan’s apartment.”

Holly eyed him from his boots to his long, long legs, perfect in jeans, to his cotton shirt to his handsome face and sun-bleached hair. She placed a hand on her hip. “Howdy yourself, cowboy, and you’ve found Abby’s apartment.”

“Is she here?” he prompted, when Holly didn’t say anything else.

“Oh.” She quickly collected herself. “Yes, do come in. I’m Holly, a friend and neighbor.”

Abby pulled out a pair of slacks and stopped. She heard a deep masculine voice and her toes curled into the carpet.
Jonas.
No one but Jonas had that effect on her. She dropped the slacks and ran into the living room.