Once Upon A Karma (Karmic Krystal Book 1) (3 page)

“Can Ralph sleep with us too?” I ask, pointing to my rabbit on the couch.

“Of
course
he can,” my grandfather answers with a smile.

I pick Ralph up and hold him tight under my right arm while holding my book in my left hand.  Grandpa follows me into his bedroom and lifts me onto the bed. With my bedtime routine down to an art, I gently place Ralph on the bed, pushing him into the middle, and tuck him in.  I put my book onto the pillow as I take off my bed socks.  Mum and Dad usually read to me each night so I am hoping that my grandfather will read to me also.  Cuddling tight with Ralph, I ask Grandpa to read me a story.  He smiles and tells me that first he has to tuck my sisters in, but ensures me that he will not be away long.

When he returns, Grandpa starts reading my book to me and Ralph.  He doesn’t read for long before I am fast asleep and snoring.  A nightmare abruptly pulls me out of my slumber and I start crying for my dad.  It is then that I realise my grandfather has thrown Ralph onto the floor and that he has his hand inside my underpants.  This makes me feel scared and sick.  When I look at him, my grandfather’s eyes are closed and he is smiling. 

With both hands, I push his hand away as hard as I can and shout “No, stop it!”  He looks horrified at what he has done.    Grandpa then tells me that he is sorry; that he was asleep and didn’t know that his hand was doing that.  Picking Ralph up from the floor, my grandfather rolls over to face the wall and goes back to sleep. 
Why did you do that to me? 
I climb out of Grandpa’s bed and take Ralph with me.  My stomach feels sick and I wish my parents were here to explain to me what just happened and why.  My face feels hot and I sit on the couch in the darkness with tears rolling down my cheeks.  I am angry and very afraid, but I am also too ashamed to tell my sisters what our grandfather had just done to me.  My thoughts tried hard to rationalise what he did. 
He said it was an accident.  He didn’t know he did it.  He said he was sorry.
Grandpa had never lied to me before, so I tell him when he wakes up that I forgive him because it was an accident and because he is sorry.  My grandfather hugs me tight and smiles.  He tells me that this is why I am his favourite, but I don’t want to be his or anybody else’s favourite ever again, now that I know what his “favourite” really means.

After breakfast, my sisters and I go outside to play.  We dress up in sheets and pretend we are ghosts as we chase each other.  It is a lot of fun.  Because of all of the excitement and laughter with my sisters, I am able to stop thinking about what Grandpa did.  After an exhaustive game of
Hide and Seek
at the end of the day, however, I am again told to go and sleep in my grandfather’s bed.  I don’t know why I have to sleep there because my sisters and I did not fight for the whole day.  I look at my sisters with sadness and fear.  Both of them suddenly look angry.  I want so badly to sleep with my sisters in their room with them, but since I do not want to get into trouble from my parents for disobeying my grandfather, I pick up Ralph and go to Grandpa’s room.  He lifts me onto his bed, but this time, I do not want him to read me a story.  I put Ralph in the middle of the bed and tuck him in tight.  Kissing my rabbit on his fluffy cheek, I wrap my arms around Ralph and whisper into his floppy ear, asking him to keep me safe.  Trying not to focus on the stuffiness of the room as Grandpa continues watching late night television, I eventually fall asleep.

I don’t remember my dream.  I woke up because my little girl bits were hurting.  My grandfather’s hand was again where it should not be.  His fingers were hurting me a lot and he was lying right next to me very close, smiling with his eyes closed.  I yell at him to stop, but this time, it does not wake him.  He continues hurting my private area as I use all of my strength to move his hand away.  I wonder why Ralph is no longer on the bed with me. 
Did Grandpa throw you onto the floor again?
  Still trying to push my grandfather’s hand away, the skin on my face starts to feel red hot as tears roll down my cheeks.
  Ralph, help me!
 

I continue to struggle, trying to harness every bit of my strength in order to push my grandfather’s hand away when Ralph suddenly jumps onto the bed.  He is dressed in very tough looking clothes which I have never seen before. 
Holy crap!  So this is just a dream?!
  My jaw drops open in shock as I notice that Ralph’s fluffy bunny feet are clad in spiked steel capped boots.  He stares my grandfather down, snarls and kicks him hard between his old-man legs.  Grandpa instantly takes his hand out of my underpants and screams, curling up in pain.  As Ralph continues to beat the crap out of my grandfather’s junk, I quickly jump out of the bed and stand in the doorway, watching as the insanity unfolds before me.  I don’t understand why Ralph is kicking Grandpa between his legs instead of kicking the old man’s hands.  But I do know one thing for sure.  I never again want to stay at my grandfather’s house.  I also never
ever
want to get on the wrong side of Ralph. 
You are one tough bunny! 
Grandpa vomits on the bed and rolls onto the floor.  He screams out in pain when he tries to stand up.  Ralph then jumps into the air towards me and transforms into his fluffy bunny self, gently landing in my arms.  I feel safe again, although my private parts still hurt a lot.

A few hours later, Mum and Dad arrive.  I hold Ralph tight in my arms, afraid to let him go.  He is truly my hero and my protector.  Even as I pack my dirty clothes from the weekend into my bag to take home, I make sure Ralph stays by my side, no matter what.  Not a single word is spoken about what happened at my grandfather’s house that weekend.  I tell my mum and dad, however, that I never want to be at Grandpa’s house again unless they are with me.  When they ask me why, I tell them that I had too many bad dreams without them.  With the physical pain I have inside my underpants, I just want to be gone from this place. 
Please, can’t we leave already?
  I feel nothing but loathing and disgust as I see my grandfather limping around the house.  His cover story to my parents is that he pinched a nerve in his back and that he will be okay after a rest. 
You lying filthy pig! 
Unfortunately, my parents do not question his story at all.  They believe him.

Hugging Ralph tightly, I climb into the back seat of the car with my sisters.  Mum and Dad climb into the front seat after thanking Grandpa for watching over us for the weekend.  As the car pulls out of my grandfather’s driveway, I look out of the window and see my grandfather standing at the gate.  He stands in pain and waves to the car, trying his best to forge a smile when I look at him.  I do not wave back.  I stare directly into his eyes and witness the blackness of his heart and soul before I point my finger at him.  Tears roll down his cheeks from the intense pain thrust upon him.  He immediately stops waving and staggers slowly back into his house.  Inside my head, I hear his screams as his soul is ripped from his body.

For the next few days, I have nightmares about what my grandfather did to me.  I know that it is wrong not to tell, but am scared that I will get in trouble from my parents.  Instead, I picture his hands disappearing so he can never hurt my sisters the way that he had hurt me.  As I do so, I swear that I can smell something putrid in the air.
Did something die around here?
My thoughts send me into search-overdrive, as I start looking under beds and behind cushions.  After being all searched out, I ask my sisters if they can smell it.  Both Leena and Tania look at me like I just grew two noses.  They have no idea what I am talking about.

“You seriously can’t
smell
that?  It is rotten!  It smells like one of Dad’s farts, but lots worse!” I say, completely exasperated while trying hard to describe the stench.  This leaves both of them in fits of laughter.

A few days after leaving Grandpa’s house, a phone call arrives.  I overhear Mum telling Dad that something strange has happened.  Grandpa has mysteriously fallen ill and now has something called “gang’s green” in both of his hands.  Inside my head, I can see the blackness as it quickly spreads throughout the rest of his body, eventually devouring his heart, eyes and brain. 
You really are rotten to the core, Grandpa.
  Five days after our weekend at Grandpa’s place, he is found dead by his neighbour – a woman who, just like me, decided to follow her nose. 

Almost all of our family and friends are stunned into silence by his sudden demise.  The Coroner’s report makes the grown up members of my family physically vomit but, truth be told, I am glad that he is gone.  Now he cannot touch any more little kids the way he touched me. 
Goodbye, Grandpa.  I am happy that you are gone.
There is no more doubt whatsoever in my mind that he knew exactly what he was doing when he hurt me.  The bloodied underwear I wore when I got home that day ended up wrapped in paper and thrown into the trash.  I thank the Goddess that Ralph was there to protect me from something even worse happening.

After my grandfather’s well-deserved demise, his vulgar remains are cremated.  It fails to surprise me that I am able to count the amount of people attending the funeral and wake on one hand.  Prior to the weekend that he had hurt me, I would never have believed that he’d had so few friends or so few people that gave a damn about him.  It is amazing how little we know some people, including the ones who are supposed to love and protect us. 

Back at home, the mood is rather sombre, but life goes on.  I sense my father’s concern for my mother and his daughters, while at the same time, my mother exudes hatred… loathing… anger… but at what?  I know that my parents have not had a fight so am rather flummoxed by it all.  I am tempted to ask my mother if she is feeling alright, but her feelings are so intense that I think better of it.  When I look at her, I see a strange image of her punching a hole through a large brick wall with her fist while screaming bloody murder in some uncontrolled rage.  It frightens me – not just because I am seeing weird daydreams when I am awake, but also because of the violence displayed by a woman who is usually so calm and level-headed. 

Things soon become very busy in the house with Leena starting kindergarten in a matter of weeks and with so many changes in the air. It is the first time one of my sisters will be away from home in a schooling environment during the day.  This means that Tania and I will be playing together while Leena is at kindergarten.  Dad takes her shopping for new shoes, tough and sturdy clothing, an apron –
I guess they will be teaching her to clean a house?
– and some watercolour paints.  I feel nervous for Leena but she seems happy and excited.  As long as things stay that way, I will do my best to also be excited for her.

With a new year ahead, my sisters and I make our way downstairs on Yule morning and squeal with delight at seeing the brand new bicycles that our parents bought us as gifts for Yule.  As it is thought too far for Leena to walk between the kindergarten and home, our parents decide that it is time for us to learn how to ride.  The streets are almost always deserted and everybody knows that Leena will want to visit with any new friends she makes at kindergarten.  Our dog, Rusty, will also get a good workout while trying to keep up with us…
if I ever learn to reach the pedals, that is. 
Unfortunately, my legs are so short that they just dangle uselessly in the air as I sit on the bicycle seat after my mother lifts me onto the bike. 
I wish my birthday would hurry up so I could be bigger already!

Tania and Leena quickly catch on to intricate the art of riding a bicycle, thanks to the assistance of their training wheels.  They also both usually have Dad running (out of breath) right alongside them – just in case.  Sadly, I am a somewhat slower than my sisters in this respect.  After becoming so bored that I literally fall off my stationary bike, bringing a whole world of embarrassment to myself as well as a few tears, Dad puts my bicycle into storage and buys me a tricycle to ride instead, since I am much smaller than my sisters.  I love my tricycle, especially since it not only has a seat for me to sit on, but also has a second seat behind me (much lower) for Ralph to sit on!  Dad puts his creative talents to work and makes a seatbelt for Ralph so he doesn’t fall out while I am learning to ride.  Once work is complete and Ralph is safely strapped in, I easily put each foot onto the pedals with get the front wheel to turn.  At first, it takes a bit of practice to stop myself going backwards but, before long, I am able to ride it forwards rather quickly, racing around the back yard against Rusty.  Even though he is a dog, he is also my best friend and I can’t help but laugh as he runs rings around my tricycle, barking madly.  It almost looks like he is smiling which, in turn, makes me smile.  Rusty’s energy never seems to run out.  I love him very much, especially since he is very protective of our family.

During Leena’s first day at kindergarten, I make my way down the front stairs, hoping to catch sight of some of the birds and other wildlife as they pass through our yard.  I sit in the shade at the side of the house, scratching Rusty behind the ears and rubbing his belly when a bee suddenly flies in front of my face, startling me.  Thinking it is a fly, I swat it away hard to stop it from flying into my mouth, but it stings me on the hand.  The pain is terrible and when I look at the palm of my hand, it is red and swollen.  I cry and scream at the same time, unsure of what is going to happen to my hand as the pain increases. Rusty runs quickly up and down the stairs, barking and growling deeply, ready to attack that which had caused my pain.  With Rusty once again by my side, he barks constantly as if to ask “
Which way did the attacker go?
” so that he can find and bite their sorry butt.  I continue to cry and point to the bee.  The very second I do so, the bee explodes.  The unexpected bee explosion causes me to stop crying and Rusty to hush his barking immediately.  We both look at where the bee had been prior to detonating, our eyes wide with shock.  I feel an ache inside my heart – a deep sorrow for the bee - because I know that it was just doing a normal bee thing.  What I couldn’t understand is… why did it explode like that?

“BEEEEEEE!  Please come back, bee!” I scream out as I start to cry again. 

Rusty resumes his barking, staring at a bee which is no longer there.  All the noise brings my dad down the front stairs to see what is going on. Since nothing bad ever seems to happen in our neighbourhood, Dad isn’t too worried until he sees me on the ground, holding the wrist of my bee-stung hand.  His pace quickens, with Rusty’s incessant barking seemingly telling him to get his butt into gear and hurry up.  As soon as he sees the bee sting on the palm of my hand, my father immediately extinguishes his cigarette in the dirt before putting it into his pocket to properly discard later.  He then picks me up and carries me up the stairs so that Mum can remove the bee sting.  Rusty follows closely and doesn’t leave my side the whole time. 

While sitting on the kitchen counter, still crying my eyes out, I shudder when Mum returns with a needle, a pair of tweezers, some antiseptic and a Band-Aid.  The needle makes me cringe and I scream as the needle touches my skin, causing Rusty to bark even more.  Finally my mother changes tactic and uses the tweezers to work the sting out of my reddened palm.  After it is finally removed and the antiseptic and Band-Aid have been applied, I look at my furry best friend and smile.  “You’re a good boy, Rusty!” Rusty wags his tail madly as Dad lifts me off the counter.  I scratch Rusty behind the ears until his right back foot shoots up and he starts scratching his own ribs.  “And you’re funny too!” I laugh.

Each afternoon during her first week at kindergarten, Leena brings home a new painting which she has made.  My sister is quite the artist and loves to paint.  Before long, she starts bringing her friends to our home to visit as well and they play outside.  Not all of Leena’s friends are nice, though.  Some don’t like it when I am nearby during their visits because
Leena
is their friend – not
me
.  For some reason, it doesn’t occur to them that they are a guest in
my
house. 

One afternoon, three of Leena’s friends come to visit.  They run around the yard playing
Tag
and squealing as they chase each other.  I hear my sister laughing loudly so I make my way down the stairs with a big smile on my face.  Nothing makes me happier than seeing my sisters having fun.  It makes me feel good inside.  I quietly stand in the shade under the side of the house and watch them all as they run around the yard. 

Leena’s not-so-nice friend, Nina, decides to be extra mean that afternoon when she sees me.  As she runs past where I am standing, she makes a very quick, undetected detour, shoving me as hard as she can.  I fall backwards into the dirt and land on my butt with my elbows hitting the ground behind me.  Nina’s sudden violence takes me by surprise.  All I did was watch them have fun!  I hadn’t disturbed them, nor had I hurt anybody!  Not wanting to upset my sister’s happiness, I silently glare at Nina as my face burns and my bottom lip quivers.  A small snarl escapes my lips as Nina points at me and laughs out loud.  The snarl is quickly replaced by a grin as she continues to laugh at my misfortune caused by her cruelty.  Without warning, Nina suddenly turns and runs face-first into the steel pole of the metal clothesline behind her.  The echoing sound of her face bouncing off cold steel leaves us all staring, and I feel satisfied that Nina might have learned a lesson on manners when visiting somebody’s house.

Her nose cascading blood, Nina falls down and screams as loudly as she can.  Mum comes running downstairs and attends to Leena’s friend.  I stay seated in the dirt patch where I had fallen, but sit up a little so I can continue to watch how Nina reacts to her comeuppance.  Looking at me with pure hatred in her eyes, Nina knows that there is absolutely nothing she can say without making herself look even more ridiculous.  I smile at her while wiping the dirt from my elbows with the front of my shirt.  It isn’t until that moment that I realise my elbows are bleeding. 
Perhaps she will think twice before pushing people around next time.
I don’t like the thought of my sister being close friends with a bully but I hold my tongue, trusting that Leena will someday learn that some people are assholes.

“What on
Earth
has happened here?” Mum says, incredulously.  Leena responds, telling our mother that Nina hadn’t watched where she was going and that her face kissed the clothesline.  “Dear, oh
dear
,” our mother says.  She takes Nina by the hand and they walk up the stairs together to the kitchen so my mother can clean Nina up a little bit.  After the bleeding slows, bruising starts to appear around both of Nina’s eyes.  Mum rings Nina’s mother and asks her to come and collect her daughter immediately.  After hearing about all the carnage, Nina’s mother comes right away and takes her daughter to the hospital, just in case she has a broken nose.  Shortly after they have left, Leena’s other two friends decide that it is probably time that they go home too.

That evening when our father arrives home from work, he locks his gun in the safe and washes up before sitting down to eat.  During our meal, we briefly discuss the afternoon’s misadventures of Leena’s beastly friend.  Dad frowns, wondering if it is a good idea to continue letting us play outside by ourselves, but not wanting to limit our freedom when playing, he instead removes the metal clothesline from the middle of the yard and attaches a fold-down clothesline to the side of the house.  We are all proud of him when he hammers in the last nail.

“You did a good job, Daddy!” I yell, excited by my father’s handy work.  He always seems to come up with great ideas to solve any problem that comes along.  Rusty barks in agreement that the new clothesline looks wonderful.  I hug my father around the neck as my two older sisters go upstairs to draw and colour in.  When they have all gone upstairs, I chase Rusty around the yard happily, knowing in my mind that Nina deserved what she got for being so mean and hurting somebody for no reason. This thought makes me smile once more.

It is not long before Leena’s friends stop visiting our home.  When I ask my sister why her friends don’t play with her any more in our yard, Leena looks at me sadly and hugs me tight.  “Nina told me what she did to you, Krystal.  I wish I had seen her push you down.  I would have pummelled her myself!” Leena says, still hugging me.  “Did I tell you she broke her nose?” 

We stop hugging and look at each other.  Suddenly we find ourselves giggling a little bit before laughing really hard.  I feel grateful for having two of the best sisters in the world.  Leena may be only five years old, but the love and support she gives to me and the rest of the family means the world to me.

Outside, the temperatures start to plummet as Yule draws near.  Mum starts bringing home a new children’s book each time she comes from the grocery store.  The book series is called
Little Golden Books
and each one has a story with a new adventure.  Each page of every book has a colour picture to go with the words.  In the afternoons, when Leena arrives home from kindergarten, we listen closely as our mum reads to us and shows the pictures.  I love to listen as she tells the story but I never look at the pictures.  I prefer, instead, to lie on my back and close my eyes, watching the pictures take form in my head like a movie.  It is a lot more fun this way.  The pictures move the way I want them to and never fail to make me smile.  Every tale is fun and has a happy ending.

Leena finally learns how to write her name at kindergarten.  Since it is almost the end of the year, she decides to try and teach Tania and me how to write ours.  Holding up a board with the alphabet, Leena makes us say each letter out loud after she says it.  She does this for about an hour at the end of each day.  I think Leena will be a great teacher when she is grown up and I almost burst with pride for my sister during these lessons, although it is very hard for me to remember all those letters.  After a few weeks, I close my eyes while concentrating ever so hard and am able to write my name on the paper, with the help of a guiding force inside me.  When I open my eyes and look at what I have written, I can’t help but smile proudly.