Once Upon Another Time (42 page)

“She’ll always be
my very good friend and yes, we were at the jewelry store, but it’s not what
you think.  I hope you’ll believe what I’m about to tell you.”  He paused.

I tilted my face
and rolled my eyes.  “Well?”

“Okay, here’s the
honest-to-God-truth.”  He paused again.

I gave him a look
that clearly stated I was going to smack him in the face if he didn’t get on
with it.

“Remember our
first meeting when we literally bumped into each other at the restaurant?”

My eyes narrowed
as I folded my arms across my chest.  “No, I don’t.”

“Oh, that’s right
you were a little…um, never mind.”  He cleared his throat.  “Anyway, from that
day forward, a day hasn’t gone by that I don’t wake up without having a picture
of you on my mind.  In all honesty, I believe it was that very evening at the
restaurant that I fell in love with you.  That had never happened to me
before--ever.” 

Did he just say
he was in love with me?

Gavin took hold of
my hand.  Something inside told me not to push him away.  He brought my hand to
his lips, kissed my fingers, and then laid my palm over his heart.  My knees
weakened.  I felt lightheaded, but it wasn’t in anticipation of what Gavin was
going to say.  It was because I’d lived that exact same scenario many years before.
 It was because Matt’s actions were exactly the same, the day he proposed to me. 
Could it be that Matt…? 

“Aubrey, I was so
overwhelmed with my feelings,” said Gavin as he looked at me imploringly, “that
I just had to tell someone.  So I confided in Vanessa.  Weeks had passed and
she kept hounding me to tell you, but I was afraid it was too soon.  On the day
of the family reunion, after you brought Nicholas into the house to change,
Vanessa got all over my case.  She knew it was eating me up inside, and said it
was time I told you how I felt.  But I told her I didn’t want to spring
something like that on you.” 

Now
I
was
the one rubbing my forehead.  I thought back to that conversation and had first
thought that Gavin was trying to find a way to tell me he had made a mistake
and wanted to be with Vanessa.  Wonderful, I didn’t know how I was going to
explain his torched Christmas tree, skis, roller blades and...

“I didn’t know how
you really felt about me,” he said.  “I didn’t want to push it.  I was afraid I
might be moving too fast, and that I’d scare you off.  The last thing I wanted
to do was risk losing you.  But last Sunday, after I’d finished catching up on
some work, I called Vanessa.  I told her I had made up my mind, and that
evening I was going to tell you how I felt.  She was excited for me.  I had
asked if she wanted to tag along with me to the jewelry store.  Guys don’t
really know much about engagement rings, but I’d already picked one out and
wanted her opinion.”

I drew in a sharp
breath.  “Engagement ring?”  Déjà vu was taking its toll on me.  Matt and Gavin
were becoming interchangeable.  I tried to remain focused, and at the same time
scolded myself for all the negative thoughts I’d had since that day at the
mall.  Just what the
hell
was I thinking?  I could have avoided creating
the whole ugly mess had I just told the man I loved him. 

“I’m sorry,” I
said quietly, lowering my gaze and feeling as if the word
idiot
was
flashing across my forehead, while still dizzy from the similarities that kept
popping up between the only two loves of my life.

“Aubrey?” 

Looking up into
Gavin’s eyes, he cupped his hand over mine.  His fingers trembled.  “I’ve
always been a hopeless romantic, you know that.”

“True.  Not many
guys would choose ‘Somewhere in Time’ as their favorite movie.”

He blushed.  “That’s
how true love should be.  You should be able to look into the eyes of the
person you love and see your own soul, and have that certain connection that
defies all normal attraction.  It’s that special feeling inside that makes you
feel as if you’ll wither and die if you can’t be with that person.  Those are
all the feelings I have for you.”

In my entire life,
I’d never heard words so beautifully spoken with such love and sincerity. 
Gavin stared back at me through misty eyes and dropped to one knee.  I felt
slightly unbalanced as he dug into the pocket of his sports jacket and pulled
out a tiny blue velvet box.  He opened it.  Inside, was a brilliant princess
cut diamond set in platinum, so beautiful it took my breath away. 

“Aubrey, I love
you.  Marry me.”

My eyes stung with
tears, my heart raced, and at the same time, I was at a loss for words--but
why?  And why hadn’t I been able to tell Gavin I loved him?  The life I could
have with him was all that I had dreamed of, and the love he’d shown me was
what I’d yearned for ever since it was taken away when Matt died. 

The thought
crossed my mind that perhaps I couldn’t answer because I was in shock over
Gavin proposing to me the exact way Matt proposed, which led to the same crazy
thoughts I had throughout our relationship.  Were Gavin and Matt really the
same person? 

I stared down at
Gavin, still on one knee.  Was Gavin the one who was asking me to marry him or
was Matt the one talking?  How could I ever be sure?  And did I really fall in
love with Gavin or did I fall in love with my husband all over again? 

My mind was
spinning like a funnel cloud picking up bits and pieces of all their
similarities, the poem recited by Gavin that Matt actually wrote, Gavin
dreaming about being on Matt’s boat and knowing the name, Mother Paula’s
prediction, Aunt Millie’s words from beyond the grave…it was all so confusing!

“Yes!” came a
shout out of nowhere.

Gavin and I turned
toward the doorway.  Laura walked in bouncing up and down on her designer
stilettos with Ashley and Melanie doing a jig in my office. 

“As maid of honor
I get to pick out my dress, right?”  Laura asked, as she stopped bouncing. 

“No,” I told her. 

Gavin got up off
his knee.  “Are you saying no to my proposal?”

Laura, Ashley, and
Melanie stood still glaring at me, waiting for my answer, when Fendworth walked
up behind them.  “What’s going on?” he asked.  A noticeable sound of crinkling
cellophane, and a lone Oreo dropped to the floor, rolled between Laura’s legs,
and stopped at my feet.  I wondered if my life could get any stranger, when the
phone rang.  As I answered it, I looked at Gavin.  His face wilted with
disappointment. 

“Althea, hello,” I
said, worried at what she might tell me.

“I hope I’m not
interrupting anything, but I thought you’d want to know that Otis had come out
of his coma.  Doctors said he’ll need a pacemaker but he’s doing fine.”

 I raised my eyes
toward the ceiling.  “That’s wonderful news Althea.  Thank you for calling. 
Please let Mr. Davis know I’ll stop by the hospital this afternoon.  I can’t wait
to see him.”

“Mr. Davis is in
the hospital?”  Gavin asked, with much concern. 

I nodded, as I
hung up the phone.  Laura, Ashley, Melanie, and Fendworth, unaware of what had
happened, bombarded me with questions concerning Mr. Davis’s health.  I’d felt
relieved to have their focus on Mr. Davis and not on me, as I wasn’t sure what
I was going to do about Gavin’s proposal. 

Like glistening
jade jewels, droplets from the chilly October rain dotted the large fuzzy
leaves on the potted geraniums sitting on the deck outside the French doors. 
The sun’s strong rays of heat had lost its grip on the New England coastline,
as the northeastern winds traveled across the ocean. 

Friends and
relatives were due to arrive at my house for Nicholas’s seventh birthday.  His
actual birthday was two days before, a sleepover party with eight very
rambunctious boys.  I couldn’t have done it without Gavin’s help.  He’d kept
the boys busy playing games.  A favorite was “treasure hunt” that Gavin
created.  He wrote out all the clues, and drew out a map for the boys to search
for a box he’d buried outside in the sand.  Nicholas’s face beamed, as he and
his friends ran out in the dark with flashlights to search the beach for buried
treasure.  

As I stood at the
cook top in the kitchen stirring a packet of raspberry Jell-O into a bowl of
steaming hot water, I looked up into the living room.  Jeb was seated on the
chenille sectional watching a TV program.  Gavin and Nicholas sat on the floor
and varoomed “Hot Wheels” cars up, over, and under everything, including the
coffee table and Jeb’s feet. 

Although it’d been
weeks, a twang of guilt sill gnawed at me for thinking Gavin had thrown me over
for Vanessa.  I knew I’d never doubt him again. 

“No Jeb, that’s upside-down,”
Nicholas said.  He gently took the TV remote from Jeb’s knobby arthritic
fingers, his knuckles like knots on a rope, and placed it back in Jeb’s hand,
right-side-up. 

Nicholas was too
young to understand Alzheimer’s.  However, Gavin and I had explained it was an
illness.  That Jeb was sometimes forgetful and forgetting could mean that he’d
get mixed up, occasionally.  That very morning Jeb had wandered out of the
house.  We found him down the block barefoot, his feet turning blue.  He was
scared not knowing how he had gotten there.  Gavin soldiered on and led Jeb
back to the house, while reassuring him everything was all right. 

We both felt
relieved when Jeb finally agreed to live with Gavin, but we haven’t been able
to get him to talk about his disease.  Gavin had said that when he was a boy,
his mother told him not to judge his father too harshly, and that he’d grown up
practically on his own on the mean streets of New York, a place where fear is
buried and weakness never shows.    

“I pressed every
button and I still can’t find Flash Gordon,” Jeb carped in frustration.

“Dad, they don’t
have that program on TV anymore.  How about deep sea diving?”  Gavin asked,
while switching to the Discovery channel.  Jeb scratched his white stubbly
beard, while contemplating his decision. 

I’d thought long
and hard as to why I couldn’t accept Gavin’s proposal at first.  I was in love
with two men, only one was a spirit living in another world.  Thoughts like
that would have once seemed crazy, but after witnessing what I had, I truly
believed Matt led me to find Gavin.  And maybe, he’d put thoughts in Gavin’s
head to bring us closer together.  Yet, I still couldn’t discount the
possibility that they could in fact be one in the same person, but only time
would tell and I had the rest of my life to find out for sure.

As I looked at my
engagement ring, it sparkled bright like the future Gavin and I were planning.  Although
we went so far as discussing whether we’d have children, I couldn’t give him a
date on when we’d marry.  I was still a little afraid.  I kept thinking about
the innocuous little expression of “wife and mother” and that it had never
applied to me, because a choice had been made for me between having my husband
and having my child, and that I could never have both.  Taking that risk again seemed
scary.

“Honey, could you
check on the pork?” asked Gavin, as he took the glass of iced-tea off the
coffee table and gave it to Jeb.

“Of course,” I
said with a wink.  The seasoned pork roasting in the oven was another of
Gavin’s specialty recipes, as was the pan of parsley and rosemary seasoned
buttered potatoes.  As I pulled the roast from the oven to check the
temperature on the meat thermometer, a smile crossed my face while thinking
about the night before. 

Nicholas was
asleep and Gavin and I decided to watch a movie.  As I stood at the microwave
making popcorn, he came up behind me, his warm chest against my back.  Wrapping
an arm around my waist and lifting my hair, he kissed the nape of my neck,
nibbled my ear, my cheeks.  He steered me into the dark living room, his mouth
warm and familiar, as he pulled me to the couch.  He laughed as I fell on top
of him, and felt his heart thumping in his chest.  He pulled my t-shirt over my
head; his skin was hot against mine, our kisses passionate.

“Our hearts know
each other,” he whispered, and I felt a tremble run through to the core of my
soul.  Gavin made me feel safe and his love had no boundaries, just like Matt’s
love. 

Jeb interrupted my
daydream, as he snuck up and gave me a hug.  His unshaven face felt like wiry
wool brushing my cheek.  “Sure smells like the Thanksgiving turkey’s just about
done,” he said. 

“Jeb, we’re not
celebrating Thanksgiving today,” I said as I slid the roast back into the oven.

“We’re not?” he
asked.  His cloudy gray eyes seemed far away, as he looked into the living room
at Gavin and Nicholas.  They were playing with the interactive dinosaur and
scaring the crap out of Bugs, a black and white Mini Lop rabbit with adorable
droopy ears.  The rabbit was Gavin’s birthday gift to Nicholas.  He claimed he
could train Bugs to use a litter box. 
Ha!
 I’d thought.  Surprisingly
enough, Buster had taken a liking to the little guy, although I didn’t trust
leaving the two alone.

Jeb suddenly
recoiled, and jabbed a finger into the air.  “It’s Nicholas’s birthday!” he
proclaimed with triumph in his eyes, as he walked back into the living room.

The whole house
filled with the delicious aroma of sweet basil, oregano, and rosemary seasoned
pork.  Every year, Matt’s parents would drive in from New Jersey to attend
Nicholas’s birthday.  They’d stay the week to visit.  However, my mother-in-law
had emergency gallbladder surgery and said they’d make the trip in a couple of
weeks.  

Everyone arrived
by chance at the same time with birthday gifts in hand.  As my father walked
in, Jeb instantly recognized him, which made me feel better for Jeb.  My
parents made themselves at home in the kitchen, flipping the seasoned potatoes
over with a spatula to brown roast the other side.