One Fifth Avenue (21 page)

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Authors: Candace Bushnell

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BOOK: One Fifth Avenue
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Act

Two

8

Enid Merle liked to say she could never stay angry at anyone for long.

There were exceptions, of course, such as Mindy Gooch. Now, when Enid saw Mindy in the lobby, she cut her, deliberately turning her head away, as though she literally didn’t see her. Nevertheless, she kept up with Mindy’s comings and goings through Roberto, the doorman, who knew everything about everyone in the building. She found out that Mindy had purchased a dog—a miniature cocker spaniel—and that the Rices were hoping to install through-the-wall air-conditioning units in their apartment, a request that Mindy planned to turn down. Why was it, Enid wondered, that the first thing everyone wanted these days was air-conditioning?

Although she had yet to forgive Mindy, Enid’s ire at the Rices themselves had fizzled with the hot August weather. Mostly because Enid found Annalisa Rice, with her auburn hair and curious wide mouth, intriguing. Several times a day, Enid caught glimpses of Annalisa Rice on her terrace, dressed in a smudged T-shirt and shorts, taking a break from unpacking boxes. Annalisa would lean over the railing to try to catch a breeze, shaking her long hair out of its ponytail for a second before twist-144

Candace Bushnell

ing it back up on top of her head. On Thursday, the hottest afternoon of the year so far, Enid left Roberto a note to pass on to “Mrs. Rice.”

Ever helpful, Roberto delivered the envelope to Mrs. Rice’s door himself. As he handed her the missive, he attempted, not very subtly, to peek around her, hoping to get a glimpse of the apartment. Without the furniture or rugs, it appeared vast and echoey, although Roberto was able to see only into the second foyer and the dining room beyond. Annalisa thanked Roberto, firmly closed the door, and opened the envelope. Inside was a light blue card, across the top of which was embossed ENID MERLE, in no-nonsense gold lettering. Underneath was written: “PLEASE COME BY

FOR TEA. AT HOME TODAY FROM THREE TO FIVE.”

Annalisa immediately set to work at making herself presentable. She clipped and filed her fingernails and scrubbed her body with a loofah.

She put on a pair of khakis and a white shirt, tying the tails around her waist. The effect was casual but neat.

Enid’s apartment wasn’t what Annalisa was expecting. She’d assumed the apartment would be filled with chintz and heavy drapes, like Louise Houghton’s, but instead, it was a museum of seventies chic, with white shag carpeting in the living room and a Warhol above the fireplace. “Your apartment is beautiful,” Annalisa said after she’d shaken hands with Enid and been invited inside.

“Thank you, dear. Is Earl Grey tea okay?”

“Anything’s fine.”

Enid went into the kitchen, and Annalisa sat down on the white leather couch. In a few minutes, Enid returned, carrying a papier mâché tray, which she set on the coffee table. “I’m so happy to meet you properly,” she said. “Usually, I meet all our newcomers first, but unfortunately, that wasn’t possible in your case.”

Annalisa stirred a spoonful of sugar into her tea. “It all happened so quickly,” she said.

Enid waved this fact away. “It’s not your fault. Mindy Gooch rushed your application through. I’m sure it will work out for the best. No one wants a lot of potential buyers trooping through the building—it’s extra work for the doormen and irritating to the other residents. But we like to take our time approving applicants. We kept one gentleman waiting a year.”

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Annalisa smiled tensely, not sure of what to make of Enid Merle. She knew who Enid was, but given Enid’s comments about their entry into the building, Annalisa had yet to discern whether she was friend or foe.

“He was a so-called fertility specialist,” Enid continued, “and we were right to wait. It turned out he was impregnating his patients with his own sperm. I kept telling Mindy Gooch there was something unsavory about the man, although I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. Mindy couldn’t see it at all, but it wasn’t her fault, poor dear. She was trying to get pregnant herself then, and she wasn’t thinking clearly. And when the scandal broke, she had to admit I’d been right all along.”

“Mindy Gooch seems very nice,” Annalisa said cautiously. She’d been looking for an opening to talk more about Mindy. Paul mentioned the parking spot in the Mews nearly every other day, and Annalisa wanted to find a way to secure it for him, guessing that Mindy Gooch was the key.

“She
can
be nice,” Enid said, taking a sip of her tea. “But she can also be difficult. Bullheaded. She’s very determined. Unfortunately, it’s the kind of determination that doesn’t always lead to success.” She leaned forward and whispered, “Mindy lacks people skills.”

“I think I see what you mean,” Annalisa replied.

“But she’ll be nice to you—at first,” Enid said. “She’s always nice, as long as she’s getting what she wants.”

“And what does she want?” Annalisa asked.

Enid laughed. Her laugh was unexpected, a great joyous whoop.

“That’s a good question,” she said. “She wants power, I suppose, but other than power, I don’t think she has a clue. And that’s the problem with Mindy. She doesn’t know what she wants. You never know what you’re going to get with her.” Enid poured more tea. “On the other hand, the husband, James Gooch, is as mild as toast. And their boy, Sam, is brilliant. He’s some kind of computer whiz, but all children are these days—

it’s quite frightening, don’t you think?”

“My husband’s what one might call a computer whiz as well.”

“Naturally.” Enid nodded. “He’s in finance, isn’t he? And they do all that wheeling and dealing on computers these days.”

“Actually, he’s a mathematician.”

“Ah, numbers,” Enid said. “They make my eyes glaze over. But I’m just a silly old woman who was barely taught anything in school. They didn’t 146

Candace Bushnell

used to teach girls mathematics, other than addition and subtraction, so one could make change, if necessary. But your husband appears to have done well. I heard he works for a hedge fund.”

“Yes, he’s a new partner,” Annalisa said. “But please don’t ask me what he does. All I know is that it involves algorithms. And the stock market.”

Enid stood up. “Let’s stop kidding ourselves,” she said.

“Excuse me?” Annalisa said.

“It’s four o’clock in the afternoon. I’ve been working all day, and you’ve been unpacking boxes. And it’s ninety-six degrees. What we both need is a nice gin and tonic.”

Several minutes later, Enid was telling Annalisa about the former owners of the penthouse apartment. “Louise Houghton didn’t like her husband at all,” she said. “Randolf Houghton was a bastard. But he was her third husband, and that’s why they moved downtown in the first place. Louise assumed correctly that a twice-divorced woman wouldn’t be completely accepted in Upper East Side society. She convinced Randolf to move here, which was considered very bohemian and original and made everyone forget that Randolf was her third husband.”

“Why was he a bastard?” Annalisa asked politely.

“The usual reasons.” Enid smiled and finished her cocktail. “He drank.

He cheated. Two qualities a woman could live with in those days but for the fact that Randolf was impossible to live with. He was rude and arrogant and quite possibly violent. They had terrible fights. I think he may have hit her. There were servants in the house at the time, but no one ever said a word.”

“And she didn’t divorce him?”

“She didn’t have to. Louise was lucky. Randolf died.”

“I see.”

“The world was a much more dangerous place back then,” Enid continued. “He died from sepsis. He was in South Africa, trying to get into the diamond business, when he cut his finger. While he was traveling back to the States, the cut got infected. He made it back to One Fifth, but a few days later, he was dead.”

“I can’t believe her husband died from a cut,” Annalisa said.

Enid smiled. “Staph. It’s a very dangerous bacteria. We had an outbreak in the building once. Years ago. Spread by a pet turtle. Aquatic creatures O N E F I F T H AV E N U E

147

don’t belong in apartment buildings. But no matter. Louise had her grand apartment and all of Randolf’s money and the rest of her life to live unencumbered. Marriage was considered a bit of a trial for women back then.

If a woman could manage to live independently, free of the matrimonial noose, it was considered a blessing.”

That evening, Annalisa bought a bottle of wine and a pizza and set this feast out for Paul on paper plates.

“I had the most interesting day,” she said eagerly, sitting cross-legged in the dining room on the recently stained parquet floors. The setting sun made the wood glow like the last embers of a fire. “I met Enid Merle.

She invited me to tea.”

“Does she know anything about the parking space?”

“Let me get to that. I want to tell you everything.” Annalisa tore at a piece of pizza. “First we had tea and then gin and tonics. It turns out that all is not well between Mindy Gooch and Enid Merle. Enid says the only reason the Gooches got into the building at all is because of the real estate crash in the early nineties. The board decided to sell off six little rooms on the ground floor that used to be the coat-check room and tiny bedrooms for the staff and the place where they stored the luggage when the building was a hotel. ‘If it weren’t for baggage, the Gooches wouldn’t be here at all,’ ” Annalisa said, imitating Enid’s voice. “You should have seen her. She’s a real character.”

“Who?” Paul asked.

“Enid Merle. Paul,” Annalisa said, “can you please pay attention?”

Paul looked up from his pizza and, trying to satisfy his wife, said, “As long as she doesn’t give us any trouble.”

“Why would she give
us
trouble?”

“Why would anyone give us trouble?” Paul said. “As a matter of fact, I just saw Mindy Gooch. In the lobby. She told me we weren’t allowed to put through-the-wall air conditioners in the apartment.”

“That’s just crap,” Annalisa said. “Was she at least nice about it?”

“What do you mean by ‘nice’?”

Annalisa picked up the paper plates. “Don’t fight with her, is all. Enid said Mindy can be tricky. Apparently, the way to get to her is through her son, Sam. He’s a computer whiz—works on everyone’s computers in the building. I could e-mail him.”

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Candace Bushnell

“No,” Paul said. “I can’t have some kid messing with my computer. Do you know what’s on my hard drive? Billions of dollars’ worth of financial information. I could destroy a small country if I felt like it.”

Annalisa turned and bent over to kiss Paul on the forehead. “I know how you boys love to play spy,” she said. “But I wasn’t thinking about your computer. I was thinking about mine.”

As she turned to go into the kitchen, Paul called after her, “Can’t we do this the old-fashioned way? Isn’t there someone in the building we can bribe?”

“No, Paul,” Annalisa said. “We’re not going to do that. Just because we have money doesn’t mean we’re going to get special treatment. Let me try it Enid’s way. We’re in a new place, and we have to respect the culture.”

Down below, in the kitchen of the Gooches’ stifling apartment, Mindy Gooch was cutting up vegetables. “Paul Rice basically told me to shove it,” she said to James.

“Did he use those exact words, ‘Shove it’?” James asked.

“No. But you should have seen the expression on his face when I said no to the through-the-wall air conditioners. His expression said, ‘Shove it.’ ”

“You’re being paranoid,” James said.

“I’m not,” Mindy said. Her new puppy, Skippy, jumped up on her leg.

Mindy fed him a bit of carrot.

“You shouldn’t feed the dog people food,” James said.

“It’s health food. No one ever got sick from eating a carrot.” She picked up the dog and cuddled it in her arms.

“You were the one who insisted on letting them into the building,”

James said. “They’re your responsibility.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Mindy said. She carried the little dog to the door and put him out onto the cement slab that was their patio. Skippy sniffed around the edges of the slab, then squatted down and urinated.

“What a good dog!” Mindy exclaimed. “Did you see that, James? He peed outside. We’ve only had him for three days, and already he’s house-trained. What a smart doggie!” she said to Skippy.

“And that’s another thing. Skippy. He’s your responsibility, too,” James said. “You can’t expect me to walk him. Not with my book coming out.”

James wasn’t sure how he felt about Skippy. He’d never had a dog grow-O N E F I F T H AV E N U E

149

ing up, or any pet, for that matter, as his parents didn’t believe in having animals in the house. “Peasants have animals in the house,” his mother always said.

“Can’t I have one thing, James?” Mindy asked. “One thing of my own?

Without you criticizing it?”

“Sure,” James said.

The puppy ran through the kitchen and into the living room. James chased after him. “Skippy!” he commanded. “Come!” Skippy ignored him and skittled into Sam’s room, where he jumped on Sam’s bed.

“Skippy wants to visit you,” James said.

“Skipster. Dude,” Sam said. He was seated at his little desk in front of his computer. “Check this out,” he said to his father.

“What?” James said.

“I just got an e-mail from Annalisa Rice. Paul Rice’s wife. Isn’t that the guy Mom was arguing with?”

“It wasn’t an argument,” James said. “It was a discussion.” He went into his own little office and closed the door. There was a small high window, and in the window was an old air conditioner that snuffled like a child’s runny nose. James pulled his chair around and sat beneath the warmish air, trying to get cool.

ı

Tink, tink, tink went the noise. It was eight in the morning, and Enid Merle looked over the side of her terrace and frowned. Outside the building, the scaffolding was going up, thanks to the Rices, who were about to start renovating their apartment. The scaffolding would be up by the end of the day, but it was only the beginning. Once the actual construction began, there would be weeks of a cacophony of drilling, sanding, and hammering. Nothing could be done about the noise: The Rices had the right to improve their apartment. So far, they had done everything to the letter, including sending out notices to the other residents of the building, informing them of the construction and the length of time estimated to do the work. The apartment would be rewired and replumbed for a washer and dryer and restaurant-quality appliances and, according to Roberto, “high-powered computer equipment.” Mindy 150

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