One Last Hold (23 page)

It wasn’t the first time to see him race, but it was the first time she hadn’t gotten up to walk around. Her butt hurt, her legs hurt, her back hurt. And the frenzy in the crowd was stronger since Wesley’s jail release.

She snapped pictures. That fed her frenzy for something to do. Kept her from hyperventilating with worry.

Suddenly, a car slammed into Wesley, bringing all her worries to fruition. He skidded across the pavement. She jumped up, screeching as she watched an oncoming car, barreling toward his stationary one. It struck him in the side. Metal shrieked at the point of contact and tires squealed across the pavement.

Her drink crashed to the ground. Her camera clattered, hitting her toe. The car continued to flip, over and over, over and over.

His car finally stopped in the middle of the field. Fire ruptured from the back end. It was upside down, in a crumpled heat.

People in the stands stood transfixed in silence as they waited for Wesley to emerge.

She remembered another time this happened. The first time she’d seen him race. She’d only seen the tail end of that one because she’d been mingling in the crowd. He’d gotten out. That wreck hadn’t been this bad. That time, they weren’t in a relationship. He hadn’t even known she was watching. They hadn’t been sleeping together. That time, she wanted to go to him but didn’t have that right. This time, she did. At least, she thought she did.

She tried to jump over the pit wall but someone grabbed her arm and wouldn’t let go.

“Let me go, let me go.” She flailed out her hands, fighting to no avail. She needed to make sure Wesley was okay for own self. Watching from the pit wall drove her insane.

“Stop, Caitlyn.” Tim shook her. “They’ll take care of it, there’s nothing you can do.”

“No! No! I have to get to him, see if he’s okay!” She struggled to get out of his grip but he clenched his arms around her waist even tighter.

“Dammit, Caitlyn, stop.” Tim’s voice held an edge she couldn’t comply with right now.

“He’s still in that car,” she said in despair as she stopped moving. Weakness, along with the arms still around her waist, made her immobile so she couldn’t run even if Tim let her go. She’d have fallen if Tim hadn’t been holding her up. “It’s burning. He hasn’t come out yet.”

“They’re working on it. You’ll only be in the way.”

*

Tim didn’t speak to Caitlyn on the way to the hospital, which was fine with her. She was too upset to speak to him anyway, and she could tell he wasn’t happy she and Johnson tagged along.

Well, too bad. Tim would have to accept the fact Caitlyn was a part of Wesley’s life, albeit briefly. And Johnson was Wesley’s dad. He worried about him just as much as Tim did.

Her steps slowed when they walked into the hospital, feet moving forward one sluggish step after the other. The doors whooshed open, closed, and at one point Johnson stopped and glanced back to see if she followed.

Wesley was alive. He
had
to be and as long as no one confirmed otherwise, she’d continue believing it.

Her worst nightmare had just come true. One of the reasons she never wanted to support Wesley in his racing career. One of the reasons his mom didn’t like the career he chose. And one of the reasons Johnson fought so extensively with Wesley for not following in his footsteps.

They waited an eternity. Visitors flocked in to see if he was okay, but no one was allowed to see him and most people left, leaving prayers and cards, flowers and sentiments.

Tim finally told her he’d drive her back to her motel to rest, but she wasn’t about to leave. She didn’t tell him she no longer had a motel room, she was staying with Wesley. How would he take that news?

No doubt she was getting on Tim’s and the nurses’ nerves. She fretted anxiously, walking up to them every half hour and asking if there was any news on Wesley. When they told her no and the doctor would let her know whenever they had any news, she sighed heavily and walked away, all the while knowing if Tim and Johnson hadn’t been there, she wouldn’t have been entitled to anything.

They were both remarkable men, both demanding respect in the way they carried themselves, formidable if one should get on their bad side. The female nurses fluttered around them, trying to make sure they were comfortable while waiting, letting them know of the cafeteria they had available should they need to eat. Caitlyn wanted to gag. The women got perturbed with her when she wanted something, but Johnson and Tim couldn’t ask for enough. She wondered what they would act like with Wesley. A younger version of both men. They had all been blessed with good looks.

Caitlyn walked outside to call her mother from her cell, needing to talk to somebody who cared about her. She was composed when she dialed the number, but as soon as she heard her mom’s voice she started crying, comforted by a familiar voice but not sure what to say after all.

“Caitlyn, is that you?”

“It’s Wesley,” she croaked. Her mom knew she had been doing a story on him, but she didn’t know the extent of their circumstances and what had transpired between them.

“What’s wrong?” her mother asked.

“He’s been in a wreck. I’m at the hospital now.”

“Do I need to come down there?”

“No. No.” Caitlyn cried into the phone as she told her mom what happened. Just hearing her mom on the phone was sufficient enough for Caitlyn. She had no idea what was going on, how serious it was. No one came to tell them anything. If this was it, if he died, she would only be a grieving friend, stuck at the back of the row, not entitled to any heartfelt wishes or condolences. Not that she was seeking any, but she wanted to be more important to Wesley and his family than just a bystander.

She hung up the phone and sat on the asphalt curb, trying to shield her eyes from a sun that descended and cast a tremendous color around the earth. It conflicted with her mood. Set brilliantly against an azure sky, birds sang their contentment with it.

She needed to see Wesley again. Needed to know he was going to be okay. She longed to tell him so many things.

“Caitlyn?”

She wrenched her head around at her name being called and stood when she noticed Tim. She waited. Had he come in hope or despair? Did she really want to know?

If he said the words, that would make them true. As long as there was silence, there was still hope.

“He’s awake and doing fine. The doctor says we can go see him.”

“Oh!” She nearly collapsed where she stood, then ran into Tim’s arms in an effort to share her emotion with someone close to Wesley. He stood there, not pulling away and not urging her closer.

She released her hold, stepped back, and rubbed her hands along her arms.

Awkward
.

Together, they walked into Wesley’s room, where he was eating ice cubes. Johnson sat in a chair across the room, looking grim but relieved.

Caitlyn wrung her hands together and darted her gaze between the men as she kept her distance.

“You had us worried there for a while,” Tim said.

Wesley’s face crinkled between a smile and an ‘I’m-sorry-I-didn’t-mean-to-do-it’ chagrin. His mouth barely opened when he said the word, “Sorry”.

He eyed Caitlyn. She remained silent, afraid she’d cry if she said anything. What was she supposed to do? Run up and hug him? Would he appreciate that or push her away?

“You okay?” he asked.

Caitlyn nodded, her heart in her throat. “I am now.”

“Come here,” he said, waving her over. She went willingly, keeping her steps slow so as not to appear desperate, then she buried her face the crevice of Wesley’s neck.

Wesley explained to her at one time how the cars were built to protect the men in them, how they could sustain a lot of damage in the event of wreck. He tried to ease her anxiety, but Caitlyn knew better.

The doctor would keep him overnight and run more tests in the morning, but so far a CT scan and MRI revealed a slight concussion and compressed vertebra the extent of his injuries. A few minor scrapes and burns. Nothing life threatening.

She gulped in relief.

“He wants to keep me from racing for six weeks, minimum,” Wesley spat. “There’s no way that’s going to happen.”

“You’ll do what the doctor says,” Tim said as Caitlyn sat near the bed, helpless. Wesley held both her hands in one of his and traced patterns on hers with his fingertips.

“I’m racing next weekend if I have to use crutches or wear a brace or whatever. I don’t care, I’m racing, and no doctor is going to tell me otherwise.”

“Bullshit, Wes. You are in no shape,” Tim argued as he paced across the room. “I shouldn’t have let you race this time.”

Wesley’s eyes flashed then darkened. “You shouldn’t have?”

“No. You should have taken more time off.”

“I already had plenty of days off while I almost wasted away in jail for a crime I didn’t commit. And the racing officials gave their permission.”

Tim sat in the chair nearest the door and leaned back, all relaxed, legs open and hands splayed on his thighs. Tension crackled the room. Even Johnson, who leaned with crossed arms against the wall, seemed to shrink.

“Don’t forget that’s my car, my team. I can refuse.” Tim’s threat shocked Caitlyn. She was glad he chose his nephew over the sport. And why wouldn’t he have?

“Then I’ll find another team.”

“You’ll do no such thing.”

Caitlyn pulled her hands out of Wesley’s tightening grip and scooted the chair away from the bed so he would have a clearer view of his uncle. Wesley didn’t seem to notice.

Even if they were married, she would have no right to keep him from doing what he loved.

“Okay, Tim, whatever you say,” Wesley hissed.

“We’ll talk about it later.”
As in, now isn’t the time to discuss this.

Wesley laid his head back on the pillow and studied the ceiling.

After a few moments of silence, Tim stood. “Okay, we’re heading out. You need to rest. Call me if you need anything.”

Wesley winced as he held up his head and glanced at Caitlyn. “Will you stay?”

The hospital room filled with cards and flowers. They had made arrangements for only family to visit him so Wesley’s fans wouldn’t disturb his recovery. Caitlyn was allowed to stay long after visiting hours only if she agreed to let Wesley rest, and she knew that was only because of Johnson and Tim. It was a step in her favor if Tim thought she’d be good for his nephew’s recovery.

When Johnson and Tim left, Caitlyn wondered what was going to happen between the two men now that no one else was around. Unless Johnson caught a taxi, Tim would have to take him back to his rental car left at the track. It might be good for them.

Wesley slept, Caitlyn in the chair by his side. The ache in her neck forked into her lower back, but no way would she leave.

She checked social media and assured the world Wesley was alive and well. At one point, Wesley even allowed her to take a picture of them together and share it. The response was overwhelming.

Wesley would wake, they’d talk a little, and he would go back to sleep. He urged her to return to his RV and rest, but she had no intention of leaving his side.

When the breakfast cart was wheeled in the next morning, Wesley woke, claiming his hunger, and asked when the doctor would be in to release him.

“He’s making his rounds,” the nurse assured him.

“Are you hungry?” Wesley asked, his gaze sparkling over Caitlyn as he waved his spoon to present his clumpy oatmeal.

“Ma’am, there’s a cafeteria on the second floor,” the nurse explained.

“I’m fine, thank you.”

“You sure?” Wesley asked once the nurse was gone. He made a show of chewing on his oatmeal, squeezing his eyes shut as he swallowed. Grabbing his fork, he shoveled scrambled egg into his mouth. “The egg isn’t so bad.”

Caitlyn laughed. “I’m fine.” No way could she eat anyway. She was still nauseous from the terror of last night’s accident.

“You should go. Get some rest. The doctor will probably be releasing me this morning after he checks me over. Tim called and said he’d be here in a bit.”

“I don’t have a vehicle anyway, so I’ll just wait on Tim.”

Wesley finished his breakfast, pushed the cart away, and swiped his mouth. “God, I need a shower. And some pain pills.”

“They just gave you pain pills.”

“Yeah, well I need more. I hurt a lot more today than I did yesterday.”

Caitlyn didn’t dare tell him Tim was right and there was no way he should race next week. She wondered how much control he and the doctor actually had over the situation.

“What is it about us and hospitals, huh?” Caitlyn teased, but judging by Wesley’s disappearing glint, she should’ve never brought up that subject.

“No kidding,” he muttered. He moved aside and patted the bed for her to sit.

She sat and rubbed his chest. His neck and back were braced into some sort of contraption, and she didn’t want to hurt him.

She considered the conversation she’d like to have, the one that had plagued her for ten years. Now, with Wesley confined to a bed, was her best chance to tell him what she was feeling, tell him of her past mistakes, and know how much he was willing to take another chance on their relationship when all they seemed to be met with was tragedy.

“You hurt me when you left without an explanation,” she mumbled as she circled patterns on his torso.

“I hurt me, too.” His words surprised her. So far, so good. He coiled a piece of her hair around his finger. “And if you don’t stop doing that, you’re going to hurt me a hell of a lot worse.”

Her lips curled as she snatched her hand away. “I assume you’re still working down there, then.”

“Hell yeah, woman. If I was eighteen again, I’d tell you to go lock that door so I can show you just how well I am working.”

“Why did you do it?” She laid her head on his chest and assured herself his heartbeat was still there. “Why did you leave when you knew I never meant it? I would have moved heaven and earth to be with you.”

Wesley let out an audible sigh. “Did I? How could I have known for sure?”

“You never even said goodbye.”

“I told you goodbye. I told you I was leaving, and I left.”