One Last Shot (Pub Fiction #3) (22 page)

With that, there’s a smattering of applause, and he gestures for Claire to take her spot at the head of the circle.

Matt

I
take her
in as she rises gracefully, then quickly bends to whisper in my ear that she loves me and thanks me for coming. But it’s what I see next that floors me: her confidence. A new confidence coming from inside her that I’ve never seen before takes over her as she turns to address the group. It’s not her usual chippiness, her seemingly cocky exterior, it’s originating from somewhere deep inside her and it’s sexy as hell.

The desire to hear all she is about to say has my adrenaline pumping. My girl is finally gonna share a part of herself that she’s been afraid to until now. This is huge. Locking my eyes on her, I offer an encouraging smile as she meets my gaze. I mouth
I love you too
.

You can do this, baby,
is what I want to tell her, especially when I see her nerves starting to kick in. Claire takes a deep breath, wringing her hands together while meeting my stare. I offer a slight nod and what I hope is a comforting smile.

“The day my parents died,” she says, “was the day I was left behind, the day when everything changed. The day my parents died is the day I changed. That day was the day I lost the biggest part of myself—my heart. Your heart is that part of you that allows you to love and trust—the part that allows you to love and to be loved in return. So I guess you could say a part of me died that night, too, along with my parents. I no longer had the capacity to let love in, nor did I want to. I donned a mask: one of a happy girl, one who was fine, didn’t need anyone or anything. Growing up, I was the girl nothing affected; what was left of my heart was almost made of stone. I say ‘almost’ because there was no way a certain adoptive family was going to let me get by without knowing I was loved liked one of their own.” She smiles, wiping a tear. I know this is hard for her, and it’s taking everything for me not to go to her, but I also know she needs to get this all out on her own. Looking to reassure her, I nod.

“Yeah, I’m good,” she whispers, for only me, despite the room full of strangers. “Don’t get me wrong. I wasn’t an over-the-top depressed adolescent because, let’s face it, I am pretty darn lovable and my adoptive family—Mary, Doug, Kat, and Wes—would never let me forget it. It’s because of them that I was able to salvage a teeny tiny part of my heart. I have a mad love for my family. And because of them, I couldn’t shut myself down the way I might have had they not forced me to love them back,” she says before pausing to gather her thoughts. “Okay, now for the hard part,” she says, huffing out a long breath. “Matty.”

Claire steps closer to where I’m sitting in stunned silence.

“I love them, but holy moly, Matty, do I have an even deeper love for you. And this is why I asked you to come here tonight. I owe you so much. I owe you all the love I have, for as long as I can be here with you to share it. I was such a pain in the ass, but you held out for me—you waited. All this time.”

“I’ll always wait,” I tell her, not realizing I’ve done so out loud.

My slip causes her to stifle a giggle. “I’m glad to know that, Matty. Now, no more comments. It’s my turn,” she mock scolds me, and I think I fall a little more for her, for being my funny and brave girl despite the seriousness of what she’s doing here tonight. “As I was saying,” she smiles, stepping closer still, “you waited like you knew something I didn’t. And I’m eternally grateful for that, because I know it now, too. I know that what we have is special and so worth the fight. I love you, and I will spend all of my days loving you like I’m gonna lose you, but this time I know I won’t. We’re a team. And I’m so happy to wear the same jersey as you, and root so friggin’ hard for us to win.” She smiles despite the tears rolling down her flushed cheeks. I know she’s still okay, she just needs a minute to compose herself.

You’re incredible, Claire. So damn strong, baby.

I’m in awe of her right now. It’s a quite a sight to see the light that’s radiating from her. It’s as if, finally, her huge burden has been lifted away—a light switches from off to on. My girl is healing and taking ownership of that process. It’s an awesome thing to witness.
Fucking magical.
It’s an honour to bear witness to this lovely creature shedding the ugly, taking on the new.

I smile up at her, my own emotions starting to get the best of me. I grip the chair to keep myself from rushing to her, because let’s face it, I’m fucking dying to wrap my arms around this girl. I know she has more to say, she’s simply taking a moment, giving me time to process, too.

“I guess I pushed you away because I needed to feel secure on my own. Since my parents died, I’ve had the Rollins family, and then in university, I had Kat and the girls. I’ve never really survived totally on my own. I think I needed to prove to myself that I’m capable of actually living and taking care of me. I didn’t want to trust or put my fears and insecurities onto others because there was always the lingering fear I’d lose them too, leaving me right back where I’d started. Then with you, I wanted it all and that scared me most. I want marriage, and babies, and all the worry and risk that comes with it.”

“Fucking right.” I can’t control myself, the other witnesses’ laughter reminding me that we’re not alone in the room.

“Denying us our love was stupid. My biggest regret, actually, because I know now that I need our love, it’s what’s pushed me to heal. I know that I want you. Us. And like I said, Matty, I’m in this for the long haul.”

She rushes me, landing in my lap, kissing every inch of my face, again drawing laughs from the others. Who knew that a bereavement meeting could be such a positive experience? Looking over her shoulder as I hug her tight, I’m met with smiles, and, in some cases, what look like happy tears.

“Oh, I almost forgot. I have something for you.” She reaches over to her chair grabbing a thick stack of papers. “These are for you. They are yours, from me. It’s all the things I wanted to share with you while we were apart, but couldn’t,” she says, handing me what I know are the emails from the other night.

“I picked those ribbons especially for you, too. Each time you look at them, I want their meaning to remind you of what I feel for us.”

“You’re killing me. Claire Knox—
romantic
, who knew?” I tease her.

“Nah, Claire Knox—
healing,
” she smiles. “I wanted the colour of the ribbons to symbolize us. Whether you realize it or not, they each have meaning to our relationship. I chose red to symbolize the passion I feel for you…you are my life force.” She smiles sweetly, meeting my eyes, before going on. “Red is a colour that represents power, and God, do we have so much power between us. It also symbolizes blood, blood shed in war, and I want to remind you that I will fight for us every single day of our lives. Finally, it represents happiness. Matty, you make me blush a shade of red everyday with the happiness and love you give me. Your words and actions show me time and time again that you love me, no matter what I might do to muck it up. My hope is that one day my love does the same for you.”

Staring at her as she talks, I’m lost. I cannot believe what a lucky son of a bitch I am. Listening to her telling me about the ribbons, completely makes me lose my shit, my composure falls to the wayside at her explanation, I’m on emotion overload. “I love you so much…I’m about to lose it, baby. I always knew you’d see things my way,” I whisper through a choked throat.

“The blue ribbon’s meaning I don’t ever want associated with sadness. I see this blue as being ‘true blue’ versus ‘sad and blue’ because when I see this shade, Matty, I think of you. You are my truth,
true blue
. Blue also represents water, it shows us as calm. Being together is my calm, you are my clarity. And it can be the colour of storms; it’s you who helps see me through the storms, both the proverbial and the scary ass real ones, I might add.” She laughs at herself before continuing: “And through you, I reflect on myself as if I were looking at water’s mirrored surface, like gazing into a pond. You encourage me and lead me to the truth…you are my reflection and I’m a better person because I’ve finally realized it.”

“Amen to that, Sugarshack. A-fucking-men.”

I hug her tight to my chest, as close as I can get her. There is applause from the group again, but I barely hear it this time.

Matt

“T
here you are.
You ready to go, honey?” Claire asks, leaving the Friends in Grief meeting room and coming to meet me in the empty hallway. I’ve been sitting on a chair in the hall skimming through the stack of emails. The array of feelings I’m having is overwhelming, to say the least. After our public display of emotion, I needed to regroup, to process everything she’d shared.

I’d left Claire to stay so she could give her support to the evening’s next speaker and for her to say her goodbyes. I hope the group didn’t think I was rude, but I needed a few minutes alone to collect myself, a fact that I’m sure was more than obvious to the others in the circle tonight, and something they no doubt understood given their experiences.

Regardless of what they think of me, all I care about is the fact that Claire Knox fucking loves me. Really loves me. Always has. That knowledge is pure heart-stopping power. Not only does it make all the bullshit worth it, it lets me know that Claire Knox is mine until the end, no room for argument.

“Matt. You okay?” She stares down at me.

“We need to go.” I push myself up from the chair. Grabbing her by the hand, I tug her promptly up the stairs and out the door.

“Matty! Wait, my car’s around the other side, in the main lot. Are you sure you’re all right?”

I continue to pull her along after me. Once across the deserted rear lot, I silently open the door to my Jeep Cherokee. My words are jumbled in my mind, I’m not sure I’ll get out what I intend to say.
What she deserves to hear.

“Baby, I’m so fucking proud of you,” I say, tossing the ribboned stack of papers gently on the front seat before opening the back door.

“You are? Oh, thank God. I thought you were mad at me for a minute there. You went all weird at the end,” she worries.

“Hell, no,” I add, looking around before stepping into her. She looks relieved. Gripping her hips, I pull her flush to me and whisper: “The car’s gonna have to do, Claire, ’cause the need to devour you is fucking primal right now. So get in the backseat before I bend you over the hood and fuck you so hard you feel me in your throat.”

“Jesus, Matty,” she gasps, but I can tell she’s game. She hops in the back, and offers me a clue that she needs this as much as I do: she spins her panties around in the air on the end of her index finger as she stretches out like a cat in my back seat, nothing but her open dress partially covering her.
A clue, Sherlock.

“Fuck me, you’re so goddamned perfect.” I take an extra look around, making sure we’re still alone in the dark lot before pulling her legs toward me while I hover over her, the car door half open behind me.

Claire snaps her pastel panties like a slingshot and they hit my chest. She lays back down, her eyes trained on me intently as her move has me reacting, leaning readily into the car. Grabbing her panties from the spot where they fell, I make a show of sniffing them, my eyes locked on hers. Her eyes flare at my bluntness, her hips arch off the seat in response, and my heart thumps in my chest at the rush of seeing her bare pussy waiting for my touch. My breath hitches as I take in this girl, my girl. She’s sexy as fuck, especially when she’s playful like this.

“You like hitting me with your panties, eh?” I ask, inhaling the tiny pink scrap again.

“Yeah, I think maybe I do.”

“Gotta tell ya, Sugarshack, it’s the best kind of ammunition and your aim is
impeccable
,” I tell her, drawing out the last word.

“Not only is my aim wicked, Matty, but I’m also a great catch,” she giggles.

That’s right: she giggles, and the sound drives right to my cock.

“Fucking right. Gets me in the cock every time.” I grab my erection, clenching it through my shorts, showing her just how hard she makes me.

“You’re so lame, Matty,” she rolls her eyes. “Good thing I like your lame ass.”

“You fucking
love
my lame ass. I’ve got letters to prove it.” I nod to the front seat. Thinking of the letters reminds me how much in love I am with this girl.
Thank Christ I didn’t give up on her. Claire Knox is forever mine.
Feeling it, and now knowing it, makes my heart pound, the impact of the realization making emotion clog my throat. Operation “Get My Holy Grail” is finally the fuck over.

Leaning over her inside the car, I slide my body up hers. I tug her lush bottom lip between my teeth before sliding my tongue in to grapple with hers; the kiss is languid, making us both hungry for more.

Pulling away, offering that sexy smirk that only she can pull off, Claire challenges: “Why don’t you show me how much you love me back?” She raises a brow.

“Oh, I fucking plan on it. All night. But first the pre-show.” I slip open each button of her dress’s top exposing her soft full tits. Using my teeth, I pull down each light pink bra cup, lapping at her erect nipples. Her tits are perfect and I plan on fucking them later. Licking over each bud, I elicit the moans I was looking for before moving back down her lithe body. With the door still open, I move until my ass is hanging out into the dark, empty parking lot. At this point, I could care less if someone sees us. The need to taste Claire’s strawberry goodness trumps all sense of modesty.

Grabbing her by the ass, I bring her sweet pussy to my face. She arches her back to help my endeavour in the small space, her scent making me all the more ravenous now that it’s up close and personal. My tongue salivates, ready to have her.

“Always so helpful.”

“Matty. Now.” She pushes her hips up. Taking the hint, I head right for the sweet spot. Lapping at her clit, I test her, making her buck and moan at the subtle pressure, pressure I’m building slowly, knowing full well if I keep it up she’ll fall over the edge in no time. I suck on her clit while sliding my fingers along her wet folds before slipping two inside her. Within minutes, she’s crying out as I continue to suck relentlessly on her clit, my fingers curving up rhythmically inside to meet her G-spot.