Authors: Abby Gale
The ride to my college was silent but music came through the radio. I was humming to myself along with the songs, but it wasn’t because I was cheerful, it was mostly like reflex. And it wasn’t a coincidence that the songs I chose to sing were depressing.
Getting out of the car outside the campus walls, I started to walk toward my building. My hand grabbed my bag tightly as the other hand became a fist. I bit my tongue, this small pain distracted me enough to continue walking even though the ache in my leg was getting worse with each step.
I headed toward the cafeteria, cursing all the steps and stairs in this building. Thankfully, my best friend Tris saw me and came up next to me, linking our arms, pretending like we were chit-chating instead of rubbing in my face how miserable I was.
I wanted to thank her, but I had to climb down these stairs before I broke my teeth from gritting them so hard.
Finally, we came to a stop in front of the table and I sat down, panting silently because of the pain, but I got a grip on myself when Tris hugged me.
“Thank you, Tris,” I whispered.
I didn’t have to explain what this “thank you” was for, she understood. Because Beatrice was the person that ripped down my walls, even though I tried to build them high and impenetrable, reaching out to me and becoming the sister I never had.
“What is our next class?” I asked to Tris. I was too careless with our schedule to learn it, thankfully my best friend was the responsible type while I was the one who read books during class and studied my ass off just before the exams.
“Chemistry,” she answered cheerfully. That was her favorite subject. I loved chemistry, but that class didn’t give me much opportunity to read my novels. I sighed and stood up when I noticed it was only fifteen minutes till class. Normally that wasn’t a short period of time for other students, but for someone like me…it was the time I needed to walk up to the classroom.
Tris stood up with me as well and linked her arm through mine again as we started to climb the damn stairs. My swearing was alternating between the architect who didn’t think of building an elevator to the cafeteria and the damn stairs that looked like they were getting more and more each day.
Finally, I could reach the Chemistry wing of the building, panting. Normally, my place was in the middle of the second row, but today there was a guy, muscled like a mini-Hulk, at the first row and with my petite frame I wouldn’t see a thing if I sat behind him. I headed toward the window side desks, passing by the mini-Hulk on the way.
I didn’t see his face until I passed by him. At first glance I could only notice his well-built frame, but when I saw his face…I lived the biggest cliché of my life. After a heart beat of checking him out, with the painful reminder of my leg, I moved toward my desk and sat down to have some relief over my leg.
I hardly noticed the class notes on the desk, courtesy to Tris, as the professor came into the classroom. The professor started his lesson without wasting a second, but I was busy checking out the guy in the front row.
He looked like a guy from my dreams–broad shoulders, muscular arms, dark and stylishly messy hair…he was gorgeous and I was awestruck by his good looks.
Shaking my head I turned to look out of the window, but within a minute my gaze turned back to look at him. I couldn’t help it even though I tried so hard. But when I heard his raspy, deep voice as he asked some questions during class, I was sold.
I counted the minutes till the professor dismiss us. I hoped I would never see him again and would never feel this strange pull and the confusing feelings that came with it. I didn’t need to feel this way on top of everything else.
Finally, when the professor dismissed the class, I sighed in relief…but it didn’t last long.
The relief faded away the next day, at the lab class. I was in the same group with the mysterious-dream guy. The chemistry lab was the hardest class of my department and as an addition to all struggles I’d been through, I had to try not to be distracted by him.
But it wasn’t that easy.
His place in the lab was just in front of mine. I had to face him, every day, for the next four months. Like this wasn’t enough, on our second day, the lab assistant gave us the same chemical experiment, but thankfully, we had to do everything separately.
Working on the experiment, I tried to be sure I was doing everything right. Not being able to sit down was enough pain in the ass and I couldn’t ignore the pain that radiated from my leg.
Taking a slow breath through my nose, I closed my eyes, tilting my head back, hoping the pain will be subdued. When I noticed it didn’t work, I opened my eyes, only to be captivated by dark brown orbs.
He was looking at me…
Why was he looking at me?
“Inspiration from above? Is that the secret of your success with the experiment we had yesterday?” he asked with a crooked grin on his incredibly handsome face.
“Inspiration has nothing to do with this job. Just follow the steps. It is science not literature,” I snapped. I didn’t mean to sound harsh, not at all, but the pain consumed me and the anxiety of being in such proximity with him confused me.
His smile faded as he nodded his head, “Right. It was a silly question.”
I wanted to slap myself.
Why did I have to snap at him?
Why did I have to be this bitter?
Fisting my hands on the granite surface of the lab desk, I closed my eyes for a brief second again. But this time, he wasn’t looking at me when I opened them.
The next day there was chemistry class before lab time…again. But I was too late to grab the notes from the department, I headed directly to the classroom, hoping Tris would be there with my notes. I was glad the professor was nowhere to be seen, yet.
Tris sighed in relief when she saw me, like she was happy that I was still in one piece. Smiling weakly I walked toward her, looking around the class. I stopped for a heartbeat when I caught him looking at me…
His eyes were shining bright like two ambers, looking lighter than normal with the sun rays. A crooked smile formed on his face, probably because of catching me ogling him. I felt my cheeks heat up, tearing my gaze away from him. Meeting Tris’ questioning look, I shook my head and walked past him without a second glance. I was angry at myself for being so weak whenever I saw him.
Thankfully, the professor came in the moment I got to my place so Tris didn’t have time to question me. I knew she would read me like an open book even if I said his name out loud. I took a deep breath and started analyzing him instead of listening to the lecture, trying to understand the fascination he spiked in me.
He was good-looking, attractive…that was the first thing anyone could notice about him. Also, he was popular in the department –everyone was trying to talk to him, he was never alone, always in a crowd. And beside all of these things, he was rich as hell. I didn’t have to hire a private investigator to find that out. Coming to the college with a brand new Audi R8 wasn’t a common thing in my life.
I think it was easy to have some attraction toward him…
But all I did was try to stay away from him.
For two weeks, I’d managed to do that. Even though I couldn’t help but watch him from afar. That was out of my control, my eyes always searched for him, trying to understand the man behind the good-looks.
And I wished the man underneath wasn’t lovable…but he was.
His questions in the class were hard not to be noticed. He was smart, his questions were on point, giving me food for thought and sometimes teaching me more than the text books in front of me.
I saw how he cared and tried to console his friend when she was down. He was a loyal friend, caring…as much as he was fun.
No matter how hard I tried to keep my distance to him, he made me smile with his random comments during the lab experiments.
Still…I did everything in my power to steer clear of him, trying not to make eye-contact or small talk but even that was inevitable.
“Who is that?”
I lifted my head from my doodle to look at Elaine, my other best friend but since her schedule was different I couldn’t spend enough time with her, “What?” I asked, remembering her question as she sat on the bench beside me.
“This guy, always looking at you whenever I see him,” she nodded her head toward the opposite table.
I followed her gaze and my eyes locked with Ashton’s.
I didn’t know why, but at that second, I felt something pass between us…something deep. I couldn’t tear my eyes away from him, I couldn’t even breathe. There was intensity in his eyes, pulling me deeper into his brown orbs.
I watched, mesmerized, as he stood up, coming toward my table with purpose.
“Hey,” he said with an easy smile.
“Hi.” My voice was breathy.
He stood there, totally at ease, one hand in his pocket, the other holding a textbook as my heart picked up the rhythm.
Taking a slow breath I straightened my back before asking, “Do you need anything?”
I held my breath as he pulled out his hand from his pocket, rubbing his neck with a troubled look on his face.
“I…was there anything we were supposed to bring with us to the lab today?” he asked as I watched his Adam’s apple move sinfully.
Swallowing the nerves I shook my head, “No, I don’t remember anything special. Just a normal lab day.”
“Yeah, sure…see you later, then. Thanks,” he murmured and winked before turning to leave.
He winked at me!
Holy…shit!
I wish I could tell you that after all these little interactions, he made me believe in love and I lived happily ever after…but no. That didn’t happen because this was real life and those things didn’t happen except in books.
In our group of ten people, I talked to him only when I had to. He seemed like he didn’t even notice me, either. Our communication was professional, just the way it should be.
I should have been happy for it. As I was walking around like a grenade, ready to explode any second, it would be selfish to want to bring another person into this mess. But I was human and for the first time in my life I wanted to have a boyfriend, to be loved by someone other than my family.
I tried to forget him, even though I saw him every day.
I tried to ignore the pain in my heart as well as the pain in my whole body, mostly on my knee.
I added this shit into my already fucked-up life and I was angry at myself.
And like this wasn’t enough…I was getting worse. The pain in my knee was getting stronger each day and I had no idea how much more I could stand.
One night, I couldn’t stand it any longer.