One Night Only (4 page)

I was still laughing when the pizza-boy left the room, sheepishly. Trying to not get caught in the hospital and leave us alone as soon as possible. His face was red the whole time, it was cute actually.

“Shh, don’t laugh at the poor boy,” Ashton said, but he was also grinning.

“What’s the next movie we’ll watch?” I asked, changing the topic.

“Step-up,” he said, hitting the play button on his laptop as he handed me my plate.

I was full after my second slice. It was the most I’ve eaten in years. I was cheerful, feeling like everything would be okay somehow. But in the back of my mind I knew this only proved that I was closer to the end than I assumed.

I was afraid that this day would be the last good day before the bad ones.

As we watched the movie, Ashton pulled me toward him, resting my head on his chest, wrapping his arm around me.

I was watching him as he watched the movie, wondering what would have happened if I was brave enough to talk to him earlier.

He tore his gaze away from the screen and looked at me, our faces were so close. There was a question on his face, probably wondering why I was staring at him.

“The painkiller is empty,” I pointed to the serum next to the table. It was my lame explanation, but it was also the truth. I didn’t know when the pain would kick in again and ruin the night if I didn’t have the painkiller in my system.

“I’ll go get a nurse,” he said, leaving the room just after he placed a kiss to my forehead.

Who was this guy?

Was he doing all these things just because I’m about to…

I shook my head, not giving myself the permission to think these things. I didn’t care how selfish it was… I wanted this night and I wanted to have as much fun as I could. It didn’t have to be real, it just needed to feel like it.

I closed my eyes and sighed, forcing my mind to go to happy places as Ashton returned with the nurse, Christy. She was my favorite nurse in the hospital.

“Hey, April. Your doctor said to give you another one,” Christy said as she changed the serum.

“How are you feeling?” she asked before leaving the room.

“I’m okay,” I smiled, trying not to think about the pity in her eyes.

When she left the room, Ashton sat back next to me again. We didn’t talk, just watched the movie as my head rested on his chest.

After awhile I couldn’t stop the tears that filled my eyes. I tried to stay as silent as I could, but Ashton must have felt the wetness on his shirt, he lifted my head with a finger under my chin.

“Are you crying over a dance movie? Really, princess?” he laughed at me, but his face turned serious as I failed to smile back at him.

“What is it? Tell me.”

“Nothing… just silly,” I said, reaching out for a tissue, but he pulled me onto his lap.

I momentarily forgot what the problem was when I felt his body this close to me.

“Tell me,” he insisted, placing his hands on my waist.

“I just… I always loved dancing and these movies were my favorites, I could easily imagine myself in one of them. But now… knowing that I will never do this… my dreams are dying with me, Ashton and I cannot help them,” I sobbed, hugging him.

He let me cry for awhile and after that he started to hum a song that I didn’t know.

“What are you doing?” I asked as he slid me into place, tucking me down and pulling me back to him.

“Dancing,” he shrugged, but before I could answer him he continued, “Not being able to dance shouldn’t stop you from enjoying music.”

I rested my forehead on his and closed my eyes, trying to keep my emotions in check, but my eyes opened when his lips touched mine.

I pulled myself back, “You don’t have to do this. You don’t have to kiss me out of pity.”

“Don’t be stupid. Do you really think I would kiss you because I pitied you?” he frowned.

I didn’t answer him, only shrugged.

“You were wrong in your message, April,” he started to say and I frowned, but I wasn’t sure if he could tell that without my eyebrows.

“You said you weren’t my type… you were wrong. I noticed you the first moment I saw you, in that chemistry class. But I thought that you didn’t like me, I thought… fuck! I don’t know, I thought you would be the first girl who would reject me and I stayed away to save my pride,” he said and I giggled at his confession.

“Don’t laugh. I’m angry at both of us. If one of us was braver… we could have four months, April. Now… we have…” he trailed off.

“One night only,” I whispered.

I wasn’t sure if we really had one night. I hoped we had more, but that was what started everything… one night only.

“Will you make love to me?” I whispered.

“April…” he protested, but I stopped him with a kiss.

I wanted to leave this world after tasting this one last pleasure.

“Are you sure?” he whispered, peppering kisses to my cheeks, my neck.

“Yes.”

I questioned my decision as Ashton locked the door. My whole body had bruises, scars from operations… did I really want him to see me like this?

He hugged me like he sensed my hesitation.

“We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to. But if you’re having cold feet because of any kind of self-doubt, stop it,” he whispered into my hair.

“I have scars… bruises,” I whispered back. He didn’t say anything, instead he kissed my neck, slowly pulling down my t-shirt straps.

“Ashton…”

“Shh… let me make you feel good,” was his only response.

And I let him…

I let him consume my feelings with his soft caresses… memorize my skin with his lips.

I gave him the permission to hurt me, only to replace the pain with pleasure. I chose to give him the only thing I could.

I let him touch my soul, caress my body inside and out, making it full for the first time… physically and emotionally.

And he worshipped me, making me cry out for pleasure instead of pain, giving me the delicious taste of being loved, cherished… and wanted.

As I fell asleep in his arms, his words were enough to put a teary smile on my face:

“I will never forget you, Princess.”

ASHTON

That night, it was the last time she smiled.

That morning, her scream woke me up. I could easily tell she was in indescribable pain, all the muscles in her body were contracting as I tried to calm her. But nothing I did could help her anymore.

I called the nurses, the doctors, but there was nothing they could do, either.

I had never felt that miserable, that useless in my life.

I wanted to take her pain away, make her smile again. There was nothing I wouldn’t do if I knew that I would see her look at me with happiness just one more time.

I would kiss her one last time if I knew that I could suck her pain off of her lips.

But I couldn’t do anything…

I only watched her as she slipped away from my fingers. With every painful cry from her, I lost one piece of myself. Every time she closed her eyes because of the painkillers, I felt my heart shatter with the fear of losing her.

The next two days she stayed under the spell of heavy painkillers and sedatives. The second they lost their effects on her she turned back into a screaming mess, crushing the last beating part of my heart between her slender fingers.

I was losing her… with each passing second… and all I wanted to do was stop the time. But it was selfish of me, forcing her to live in sorrow just for another second with her.

Yet, she thought of me even through the pain she was feeling.

She cursed at me to leave.

She begged me to get out of the hospital… like there was any place in that world I would rather be.

She sobbed for me to not see her like this… like she wasn’t fucking perfect even then.

She screamed at me to forget her… like that was even possible…

I couldn’t say anything…

I couldn’t do anything but watch her with tears in my eyes…

I couldn’t even dream another day without her…

But as she finally closed her eyes to drift from this life, I said the only truth I knew:

“I will never forget you, Princess.”

This story means so much to me…so thank “you” for giving it a try and reading it.

Huge thanks to my dear friend MIA SHERIDAN for being my beta-reader, giving me an amazing idea to make this novella better. I cannot thank her enough. I’m so privileged to call her my friend. My life wouldn’t be complete without her kind soul in it. Thank you, Mia!

A special thanks to SCOTT HILDRETH for everything he did to help me. He is fun, wise, badass but above all he has the biggest and kindest heart! Thanks, Scott!

Thanks a lot to SLOANE HOWELL for always being there for me.

Thanks to AIDAN WILLOWS for being my beta-reader and my very dear friend. She is amazing and I have no idea what I would do without her.

Another thanks to TESSA VALIS. She cares for my work like it’s her own. She is amazing!

The biggest thanks to POPKITTY for everything she did during this process. She is an amazing person. Her talent is off the chart. The cover she made, the teasers… she created magic! Her touch is in every page of this novella and I appreciate it. I wouldn’t get through this journey without her help. She means so much to me!

Another special thanks to ANASTASIA and her PR company –Hearts, Flowers and Handcuffs PR. She helped me so much from the beginning. She even became my PA whenever I needed her help. Her kindness, her willingness to help is beyond words. I am so lucky to have her in my team.

And I want to thank to all ladies in Amo & Sarah’s Book Corner, to Diane from Read Me Fancy, to Anastasia from Colorful Romantic, to my diamond Snow and her co-bloggers Denise and Shanny from The Sirens Book Reviews.

Also, a special thanks to Ashley Moore (she is also my second PA), Mette Runow, Erica Patrick and all the Nymphs in my reader group. They always find a way to put a smile on my face. Love you all, Nymphs!

Finally, the last special thanks to my real life friends and my family. I value each of them and I’m so glad to have them in my life.