Authors: Jeannie Waudby
Why did I think I would find anything? It's hopeless. Of course he would have destroyed everything that linked me with my old life.
The room at the front must be Col's. It's very tidy. I look quickly and carefully through the closet, the shelves, and drawers. But here too there's nothing personal. I don't bother trying to keep my fingerprints off anything, because I'm looking, not hiding. I stare out at the churning sea.
I go back into Oskar's room for one last look.
Come on, K, think. Where would you hide things if this was your room?
Ceiling, walls, floor. Floor.
I kneel down and begin patting the carpet for loose boards. There's one that moves under the window, but to check it I have to lift the bed leg and pull the carpet out from underneath. It's all taking too long. My fingers are fumbling. And then I see that there is a board with no nails.
I prise the board up and edge my hand into the cavity. My fingers find a thick envelope. I pull it out, and tip the contents on to the floor.
Certificates, documents, photos: a life history in paper. Not for K Child, but for Verity Nekton. A real person after all.
I think of the girl who was cremated with my name, and nausea rushes over me. I swallow it, and I push all the papers back into the envelope. I can't read this here.
Now I can't wait to get out of Oskar's house. I'm outside Col's room when I hear a key turning in the front door lock. I don't have time to get downstairs. I dart into Col's room. The only place to hide is under the bed. At least the quilt hangs down to the floor. I crawl underneath. Footsteps thunder up the stairs.
I hold my breath, hugging the envelope to my chest. I forgot to put the carpet back in Oskar's bedroom!
Whoever it is bounds into this room. Col. I stay very still, staring at the piping on the gray quilt.
Music blasts out from Col's radio. I peer under the cover. Feet.
“Hello? Hello?” says Col's voice.
I stay frozen.
“Oskar? You're breaking up . . .” Col goes out onto the landing.
I have to get out. I have to get out now. I roll out and tiptoe behind the bedroom door.
“What?” There's a pause. Col crashes the door into my face as he strides back into the room. The radio clicks off.
There's a little silence. “Here? You're sure?” Col's voice is cold. “This was your last chance.” Another pause. Then, “I'm going to say two words: Mona. Talbot.” Another silence. “Ril and I will have to leave the country now. You've sabotaged everything.”
Col's footsteps thud upstairs toward the attic. “You'd better find her,” I hear him say.
I take my chance and run down the stairs, gripping the envelope.
“Hey!” A shout, thundering footsteps on the stairs. “Stop!”
He's behind me, he's seen me.
The front door is making a noise, the noise of a key turning.
Oskar! Oskar is here!
I
HEAR THE
thump of Col leaping down the last few steps as I bolt through the back door.
I fly down the alley, running out into the street that leads to the seafront. They'll be here in a moment. There's a supermarket, and I duck inside. Blend in. If Col hadn't seen me in the house, I would be getting the first train out of Yoremouth. But now it isn't safe to go anywhere near the station. I grab a cart and force myself to push it slowly through the hardware aisle until my heart stops hammering. I make myself think.
I buy a big bottle of water, some sandwiches, chocolate, and a small backpack to hold them. Then I add a flashlight and a hacksaw, because I might have to break into a beach hut to hide out.
I'm turning into Greg
, I think. Before coming out of the door, I search the street for Col and Oskar and put my hood up. But as I hurry toward the seafront, I see Col on the corner, scanning the promenade. The movie theater is behind me, and now I dart inside and join the line, pulling off my coat to make myself look different. I buy a ticket for the same film as the woman in front of me and follow her in.
I sit in an empty row, in the middle, so that there are two ways to get out. It's good to be in darkness. I zip the envelope safely inside the backpack. Maybe this is a safe place to hide. I can stay in here until it's dark outside. I hug the backpack to me, ready to leap up. Could I read the papers in the bathroom stall? No. People don't spend long in theater bathrooms. I can't do anything that might attract attention.
At first I wait for the footage of the Gatesbrooke Massacre. But of course they don't show it here. The film opens with a train rushing into the night. I stay alert: wide-eyed, forehead creased into a taut frown, staring at the screen but seeing nothing. I jump when a little girl pats my knee, wanting to climb past. When the film ends, I change seats and wait for the next one.
It's 3:15 when I come out of the movie theater. I peer down the street before I step out, but it's almost empty. The sky is dark blue and the streetlights have come on. The wind funnels between the shops. At the end of the street, waves break over the promenade.
I need to hide. I need to eat. I need to sleep. But most of all, I need to read. I clench my precious backpack to my chest. Wind lashes the spikes of my hair. Long hair yesterday, short hair today.
The beach huts. I lean into the wind and push toward the shore, where pebbles rattle and crash against the surf. Verity yesterday, K today. Nobody tomorrow if I don't find shelter soon. Oskar and Col could be watching me now, from a window. It's too exposed on the promenade. I double back and dart down the little road that leads to the castle. Try to breathe calmly.
By the time I come out by the seafront and cross the road, I am as far as possible from Col's house. There's only one car parked at the end of the promenade. It looks empty. I keep my head down, but rain and spray, sweet and salt, lash my face.
The beach huts at this end are the old ones, with rusty metal windows and doors. Maybe I won't even need the hacksaw. I stop outside the last one and check behind
me. Nobody. The sea is loud on the shingle, pitching white foam over the breakwaters. I try to smash the rusty padlock on the door with a rock, but in the end I have to saw through it. All the noise is sucked away by the wind. No wonder nobody is out on the beach.
When I've got the door open, I edge inside, trying to pull it shut behind me. For a moment it feels warm and silent, out of the wind. The hut is small and bare, smelling of mildew and damp. There is an iron bench and a table. Behind me, the wind worries at the door. This isn't much of a refuge after all.
I sit on the bench and try to focus on the sound of the waves sweeping over shingle, rather than the thumping of my heart inside my rib cage and the roaring of my blood in my ears. I need to remember who I am. But all I can think about is the girl they called K Child, drowned in the sea. Maybe when I read Verity Nekton's papers I'll find out what really happened to her. I don't think it'll be anything good. I am sure now that they are the same person.
I take the envelope and flashlight out of my backpack. The door begins to bang against the frame.
Bang BANG. Bang BANG.
Wind whips the corner of the hut. Maybe someone will walk their dog past here, the way they do every evening, and wonder why this door is banging today. Or maybe the parked car isn't empty at all. And I can't use the flashlight, because the light will show. Stupid! Stupid! No place to hide.
Then I hear a stealthy crunch on pebbles. I fumble the envelope back into my backpack and tiptoe to the door. I can't see anyone, but I hear footsteps on
the promenade behind the huts. I creep out of the hut and hurry down the row, on the seaward side, my breath gasping in my throat.
When I reach the end of the huts I sprint for the promenade, but as I leap my foot slides under a large stone and turns sideways. A sickening splinter of pain shoots up my ankle. I bite back the scream. Footsteps pound on the shingle behind me. I run into the stabbing pain, limping across the road and into an alley.
The alley emerges into a square. Grandma's community center, where Oskar and I once talked, looms over it.
The door is open and people are arriving and going inside. Best way to hide? In plain sight.
Heart thumping, scarcely breathing, but with a vague smile on my lips, I walk as naturally as I can up the steps, wave over the heads of the people in front of me to look as though I have a friend inside, and go into the lobby. But it's all right. I don't look like a Brotherhood girl anymore. I rummage in my bag for a tissue to give me time to look about. On the right there is a staircase and a sign for the ladies' bathroom. On the left there is a men's and a corridor. I go toward the stairs, and when I'm sure nobody is watching, I crawl under them, behind a stack of folding tables.
The moment I sit down, the pain overwhelms me. But it's OK, because this is a good hiding place. It's very cramped behind the tables and I can't take the papers out in case someone hears them rustle. The people in the hall are singing. I put my wrist nearer to the light to look at my watch: 4:20. This is the first time
I've ever been in Grandma's community center, even though she spent half her life here. The last few people don't leave until almost eight. I can hear laughing and chatting by the open door, and an icy draft slices through gaps under the stairs. Finally the door slams.
I wait until I'm sure I'm alone. Then I slowly unravel myself and crawl out from behind the tables, trying not to put weight on my ankle.
I find a place to read the papers in the ladies' bathroom. There's no window, so I can put on the light. A fan comes on too, but it's quieter than the wind. I lock the outer door and sit down on the green linoleum floor, with my back against some warm pipes. I get out the envelope I took from Oskar's house, and everything changes.
I
EMPTY IT
all onto my lap, and I can't believe what I see.
First a letter from my old school saying:
Congratulations! You have been successful in obtaining a place for junior year.
I riffle back to find the date. Just days after I met Oskar. I cast my mind back. I wasn't failing then.
Oskar manipulated everything. He set me up to fail. But why did he choose me?
I put the letter down. The wind is louder now, whining around the side of the building. I must make myself read the papers about Verity Nekton. She was a real person. The first page is her birth certificate.
Mother: Kit Nekton
Father: Ambrose Nekton
With shaking fingers I shuffle through the papers, and I find Verity Nekton's parents' marriage certificate.
Her father's name was Ambrose John Nekton. Her mother was Kit Jane Child.
My mother's name was Jane Child.
Tiny dots crackle around my eyes as I stare at the type.
Kit Jane Child.
Jane Child, my mother. John Child, my father.
Ambrose John Nekton.
Grandma, what did you do?
I am K Child.
I am Verity Nekton.
I
SEARCH THROUGH
the papers until I find the photos and peer at them in the dim light. That must be my mother, Kit, holding hands with my father, Ambrose. My mother is pregnant. Kit looked like me. Ambrose was tall, with curly hair. I pore over the photos through my tears, at these people I feel I've never seen. There's another photo, of a newborn baby asleep with arms flung up above her head. Me. And one of the three of us together. I can imagine them choosing a pretty name for their baby girl. Verity. And I'm smiling too, almost laughing with relief, to finally see their faces.
It takes me a moment to notice the Brotherhood clothes my father is wearing. My father was Brotherhood! And my mother too. She wore Brotherhood clothesâshe must have joined when she got married. How could Grandma ever have accepted that? Of course: she didn't. Everything suddenly makes sense. My name, K. It's just my mother's initial. That's all my
Grandma could bear to give me. No wonder she never let anyone see me.
Oskar hates the Brotherhood. That's why he hates me. He was never a policeman. But he does work for an organization. One that can provide cars. And bombs.