One Trip Around the Sun (8 page)

It takes my mom about thirty minutes to text me after realizing that I’m missing from Gramma’s house.

Reese, where are you? And why did you leave without telling me?

The girls were on my nerves, Mom. I just wanted to get out of there.

“So, that’s it.” I look at Chelsea with a straight face. “I’m going to have sex to find out if I’m a virgin.”

She shakes her head at me. “This is stupid.”

“I swear to you, if he did—”

“What are you going to do, Reese? He’s dead!” Chelsea shouts. “Are you going to take the guy you fuck to your family and tell them that he can prove that your hymen was missing?”

“What do you suggest? I suppose that you think I should do nothing like my cousins did? What if he did it to other kids?”

“I’m not saying not to do anything. I think that you should go home now and tell your parents, and then let them deal with it.”

“Tell them what? That he touched Miley, Kimberly, Ashley, and maybe me ten years ago? That’s all that I have right now. If I tell them that I can’t remember if he did anything to me, they are going to put me into therapy again.”

When I was in first grade, I started getting panic attacks. My parents took me to the doctor, and I ended up in therapy. The sessions have done nothing for me, considering I still go occasionally. That’s part of the reason that I hang out at home. I seem to have them more when people piss me off, and that coincides with being in public. People are stupid and irritating.

Chelsea and I sit silently for several minutes.

“So, are you going to help me figure this out?” I ask.

She hesitates and scrubs her hands over her face. “Of course,” she says reluctantly.

We lie on her bed with the pen and butterfly stationary. I write a heading at the top.

AM I A VIRGIN?

CHECKLIST

“You’ve done this before, Chels. Help me.” I start writing.

1. FIND A GUY.

“I am not okay with this.” She buries her face into her pillow.

“Yeah, you’ve said that a time or two. Now, help.”

“Obviously, you are going to flirt with him to let him know that you like him.”

2. FLIRT.

Chelsea jumps off the bed. “This is so fucked up.”

“Yes, that is exactly what it is.” I smirk. “What’s next?”

“This is not how your first time should be, Reese.” She’s pacing across the floor.

“Oh, aren’t you the one who told me that your first time sucked and that it just hurts? You said that it’s not possible to get off your first time anyway. So, what exactly would I be missing?”

She sucks in a breath, and her eyes get big. “Do not
ever
say that in front of Connor. It will piss him off.”

“What will piss him off? That he sucks in bed?”

I giggle, but Chelsea doesn’t find it in the least bit funny.

“For your information, he doesn’t suck in bed. Now, shut up. Anyway, after you flirt with some guy, you’ll need to make out a few times, so it’s not totally awkward when you do it. Oh, and you need to buy some extra birth control, like condoms and spermicide.”

3. MAKE OUT.

“I already have the implant.”

“I don’t care. Murphy’s Law, Reese! You know, anything that can go wrong will go wrong. With the plan you’re hatching up, you don’t even want to fuck with Murphy. The implant will take care of preventing a pregnancy, the condom is for protection against STDs, and the spermicide is just in case the condom malfunctions. Okay?” She sits down next to me.

“Sure, Chels.” I write that one in all caps since she is so serious about it.

4. PURCHASE CONDOMS AND SPERMICIDE.

I sit up on the bed and look at her as I think of something I haven’t asked her yet. “What do you guys use?”

“Condoms, Reese, lots of them.” She smiles.

“Next step, I should just invite the guy over and do it.” I’m being completely serious.

She flies up again. “You’re not doing it at your house. No way! You will not have some guy you are using for this stupid plan in your bed. This is so fucked up.” She puts her hands on the wall and softly pounds her head against it.

“Quit saying that. I get it. Sheesh. Were you this freaked out about your first time?” I stand up and start putting on my shoes. “I need to get home.”

“I’ll have my cousin, Trina, get you a hotel room. I’ll tell her that it’s for me and Connor. And no, I was not this freaked out about my first time. I didn’t plan it at all, and I sure as shit did not plan it for the reasons that you are.” She grabs her keys off her dresser.

I quickly jot down the last steps of my plan and shove the paper in my pocket.

5. HOTEL ROOM.

6. ???

I spend the next few weeks of my summer networking. I’ve expanded my contacts on my phone by a few dozen. Some are guys whom I met at the gym, but most are from The Pit. There is no shortage of guys who would be willing to help me with my
issue
—as Miley so kindly put it—but I want a pro. I need someone who knows what he is doing, not a total sleazebag but pretty close, and who won’t bother me afterward. He’ll never get it again, and he can never tell anyone. That’s going to be the challenging part of finding the right guy.

I plan to have this done before the end of summer, but the right guy just hasn’t presented himself—until tonight. His name is Matt, and I’ve been at The Pit, sitting by the fire and talking to him for the past hour. He’s nineteen, and he has messy dark hair that falls nearly to his shoulders. Out of the corner of my eye, I can see him examining me. I think he knows what he’s doing in the dating department. Best of all, he’s from a neighboring town so I won’t have to deal with him on a daily basis.

I spend the rest of the night getting to know more about him. Just before he leaves, he asks for my phone number.

“So, you’ll call me?” I ask.

“Yes, I will. I promise.”

Kyle sends me a letter every week, and I always send one back. I miss him so much. He seems to be in good spirits, but he says that he’s sore and exhausted.

I’ve kept my promise to him and then some. I’ve been working out just like I told him I would. I’ve actually come to like the gym. I like putting my earbuds in and blasting the music. It’s the only time when I allow myself not to think about my plan to lose my virginity. Going to the gym has become therapeutic. When I’m working out, my mind is at ease. It’s just my music and me for a while. I’m more in shape than I’ve ever been.

As an added bonus, I’m able to check out Brady’s fine body during my workout. Even though he is always flirting with every girl, I still admire the view. I guess this is where he picks up his dates for the weekends. I’ve seen him at The Pit several times this summer, and he always has a girl attached to his side. He stops by and talks to me every now and then. He is usually busy working—well, aside from the time he spends flirting with his fan club. Girls stop buy the front counter and buy drinks every day. Really, there is only so much water one can drink before floating away. Honestly, who buys water at the gym? His parents—or who I assume are his parents—break it up pretty quickly when they’re around.

Matt did call me later on the night we met, and he either texts or calls me almost every day. He goes to The Pit on Fridays and Saturdays. Chelsea says that Fridays seem to be more of a guys’ night.

Last week, I was able to check off number three on my checklist. Matt and I made out. It was okay. I felt less sparks kissing his lips than when Brady kissed my shoulder.

School starts in a few weeks, and I must say, I’ve come a long way. I’m so close to completing my plan. Yesterday, Chelsea and I loaded up on birth control. That was an enlightening experience, to say the least. Today, Chelsea and her cousin reserved a hotel room and I checked off number five on my checklist.

The first day of my junior year, the halls reek of excitement and fear. Fear is the only thing ruling my thoughts today. Chelsea travels the halls like she owns the place. She’s inseparable from her new friends from The Pit. That leaves me to wander around like a lost puppy this morning. Nothing is worse than the first day of school.

“Reese, c’mon. Walk to biology with me.” Chelsea loops her arm through mine and lays her head on my shoulder. “Relax, girl! It’s all good.”

“Oh, I’m good!” I hold my chin up and meet her gaze as we walk into Mr. Keemper’s biology class.

“Everyone, take a seat. We need to go over the class rules and the syllabus for the semester.” He walks to the whiteboard and writes his name.

Chelsea and I head to the only two seats that are next to each other. Of course, they’re in the front row. After I slip into my seat, I drop my bag onto the floor.

“All right, I have a mix of juniors and seniors this year. I recognize some of you but not all. We’re going to go around the room, so you can introduce yourself to me as well as your fellow classmates.”

He walks toward the back of the room and smacks a desk in the back row.

The first student calls out, “Justin.”

“Erin.”

“Casey.”

“Brady.”

Brady?

My head spins around before my brain can tell it not to, and sure enough, there he is. His beautiful blue eyes meet mine, and he winks.

Winks?

At me?

Okay, just look ahead. Don’t look back.

I listen as the rest of the class does roll call. Chelsea throws a peace sign over her head as she says her name. She can’t even do this without drawing more attention than necessary to herself.