One Twisted Valentine (6 page)

With a slow, wonderful torture, she would feel
Gossling’s cockhead slide down between her cheeks, the dripping
head of his lubricated dick stopping at the pucker of her ass
before opening her and sliding inside.

Every time the fantasy ended the same. As soon as
Lane had two men inside her, she would explode in an orgasm so
intense it would only end with her nearly blacking out.

The fantasies were satisfying, but ultimately
worthless. There was no way any of them would happen. That was fine
every once in a while, but for her, having not a single fantasy
with a chance of coming true laid another weight on her mood.

Now Lane was mired and Eva was shining. Lane was
desperate to know how.

The café’s side entrance opened with a gust of cold
air and there she was. Eva’s boots gave crisp clopping sounds on
the hard tiles. She threw her arms open for Lane.

“There’s my girl,” Eva said, pulling Lane in for a
tight hug.

“Hey baby,” Lane returned, the first real smile in a
week spreading across her face.

As they settled in and Eva ordered a peppermint tea
of her own, the chitchat of friends reconnecting came and went and
the threads of their jobs were brought up to date. Through it all,
Lane was waiting.

She saw the glow in Eva now. It had been building for
months. While a lot of people found themselves set on edge by the
whirl of holiday activities, Eva had never seemed more relaxed.
Lane was so desperate to know why she was nearly in tears. Eva
noticed.

“What is it?” Eva asked.

Lane didn’t know where to start, pressing her mouth
shut to keep the emotion from overwhelming her.

“This year has been so awful,” Lane began. “Like
someone pushing my head underwater, only letting me up long enough
to gulp some air and do it again. We used to come here and bitch
about Charles and Pete. But you…”

Lane looked at Eva, seeing the sympathy in her eyes.
The real empathy from her good friend lifted her spirits.

“You fixed it. You guys got your shit together,” Lane
continued. “What did you do?”

Leaning back in the booth, Eva rested her head with a
strange smile on her face. Lane knew her friend well, and could see
the gears grinding away behind her striking blue eyes. Lane could
see a secret was coming.

“Well, it’s funny,” Eva started, pausing to find the
words. “It’s… funny.”

Eva sighed, screwing up her courage. This must be a
big one, Lane thought. The thrill of mystery brought a smile to her
face.

“What is it?” Lane asked.

“Well, we kind of got depraved,” Eva said, a shy tilt
to her head. Looking past her friend’s surface embarrassment, Lane
could see an expression of subdued pride. “I mean, yeah, we had a
pretty hard road for awhile. You know, we had that big fight in
June? That’s where everything came to a head. What we’ve kind of
been keeping to ourselves is… Peter and I always loved each other,
but we were so deep in our ruts we kind of lost the thrill of
romance, the fun of pursuing each other. After that awful fight we
were desperate. It was ugly. We started ripping the band-aids off
things which had been building up for years. You know how a fight
is awful, but sometimes it’s what’s needed to give both people the
kick to talk about deep, secret thoughts. That’s what happened to
us.”

Eva smiled and could see Lane was waiting for the
punch line.

“We talked about how to recapture that spark from our
early days, how to give ourselves the space to be adventurous and
fun and surprised by the world. We went round and round and…
believe it or not… we’ve decided to kind of open our bedroom door
to others.”

“Shut the fuck up,” Lane exclaimed. She squealed out
of laugh. It also came from the thrill of finding the hidden
workings of the world, a glimpse of the real people behind the
faces they present to the neighborhood.

After a flash of shock, Lane realized of all her
friends, this was least surprising from Eva. A hundred questions
exploded in her mind. The bleakness around her evaporated in the
light of this bombshell.

“You better tell me every fucking thing,” Lane said.
She swatted Eva’s arm. “I can’t believe you kept this from me, you
bitch. I thought we were friends.”

Eva laughed too then gave a sound of mock sadness.
Her hand extended across the table to squeeze Lane’s.

“Of course we’re friends baby,” Eva said. “But Peter
and I haven’t told anyone. We really haven’t done all that much.
We’ve just been talking about a lot of things. It’s almost like the
possibility of doing this has revived the habits we had when we
used to date, reminds us what it’s like to find someone, romance
them, seduce them. It might sound crazy, but the idea of Peter or I
messing around with someone has reminded us what we love about the
other. It’s brought us closer. When I think about finding someone
out in the world, and all that takes, I look back at Peter and even
with all his flaws, I feel very lucky to have found someone like
him.”

With the last sentence, Eva looked at Lane. The look
on her friend’s face made her rethink her words from Lane’s place
in life. The idea her happiness highlighted Lane’s sorrow came to
the front of her mind.

“You know,” Eva said, “as much as you and I
commiserated, I realize you had it much tougher than I did. I was
just frustrated and forgot a lot of what I needed to do to fix my
situation. At least Peter was honest with me. Charles… well, what a
fucking asshole.”

Lane nodded. Looking at herself with the events of
Eva’s life as perspective, Lane realized her pain was not as sharp
as it had been six months ago. There was a grain of hope.

“So…” Lane said, teasing her friend.

“What?”

“SO!” Lane asked, reveling the role of inquisitor to
Eva’s secret.

“What have we done?”

“Yes!”

Eva could see Lane’s face and knew trying to deflect
was hopeless.

“Well,” she said. “There was this guy at the
restaurant, Jeremy. He’s that really cut 26-year old.”

Jeremy’s image immediately rose in Lane’s mind. He
was strong without being obnoxious about it, with real muscles and
the kind of dirty blonde hair that looks messed up and kept at the
same time. He was cute and handsome and nice all at once.

At Eva’s mention of Jeremy, an image of her friend
mounting his cut younger body and riding him hard gave Lane a pang
of jealousy. Not because he had satisfied Eva, but because he had
not satisfied her.

“Oh my god, you fucked Jeremy?!”

“No, no, no. Nothing that exciting. Yet.” Eva and
Lane exploded in laughs. “No, I was really pissed at Peter. One
night I threw myself at him and he totally blew me off. I said fuck
this and went home, got my magic wand and said ‘I’m not going to
think about Peter and I’m going to fuck myself like I need it.’ So
there I am in our room, getting really turned on, thinking of
Jeremy giving it to me on the pool table after hours in the
Lancaster. So I’m imagining him there and then as I’m about to
come, I see Rene, that waitress we used to have. And thinking about
Jeremy on me with Rene watching was… Jesus.”

Eva smiled and made a pantomime of fanning
herself.

“So Peter came home and wanted some and was acting
like I’d throw myself at him because he deigned to ask. I was so
fucking pissed and he was so fucking cocky that I said the job was
already done and I told him what I was thinking about when I did
it.”

Lane’s eyes lit up and let out another peal of
laughter.

“You did not,” she said.

“I swear to God,” Eva said. “I was proud of that one.
Anyway, instead of turning into this horrible fight, it kind of
snapped Peter’s head around and Lane, Christ, he and I went at it
harder than we did on our honeymoon. Part of him thought he was
putting me in my place or marking his territory or whatever, but
wow. And afterwards we talked. We looked at where we had gotten
ourselves, what we wanted, and thought this… option… might be a fun
to explore.”

“So, are you guys like swingers now?” Lane asked.

“Oh, no. Well, I guess I can’t act too shocked.” Eva
paused, trying to fit into words what she could not even wrap her
head and heart around. “It’s not like we’re out to fuck anything
and everything. We’re just looking for interesting things to
explore together. It’s weird, but since we know we’re always going
to go home together, it kind of gives us this opportunity to
explore things in a way you never feel safe doing when you’re
single. At least for me.”

“Like what?”

“Well…” Eva said, blushing.

“Good God Eva. What did you do?” Lane couldn’t keep
the smile off her face. “I don’t ever think I’ve seen you
blush.”

“The Saturday before last we had a threesome at the
James Hotel,” Eva said, looking down at the table, then up to Lane
for her reaction.

Eyes the size of quarters, Lane mouthed without
sound, “Holy fucking shit.”

“I know, I know,” Eva’s tone was embarrassed, but she
could not hide her satisfaction.

Lane lowered her face and her voice. “Was it you and
two guys? I mean Peter and some…”

“No. It was me and Peter and this, well, this really
sweet, hot woman,” Eva said.

“Oh. Well hot damn,” Lane said. They burst out again,
laughing like friends at slumber party.

“I know that may not be your thing, but we hit the
fucking lottery with her. If it’s something that interests you at
all and you have even half the chance I’m telling you, go for
it.”

“Well, like any self respecting ethical slut,” Lane
shared in a whisper, “I have to say the idea of having two men work
me over at the same time tops my list.”

Under the table, Lane closed her thighs to counter
the tension rising between her legs. For a moment, the idea of a
man inside her, moving with strength and hard thrusts, leaning over
her to suck her nipple into his mouth while another man kneaded her
other breast and pulled her lip into his mouth obscured anything
Eva was saying.

Coming back to reality, Lane sighed. “Of course, I
need at least one man first.”

“Oh, come on, I’m sure there’s someone out there,”
Eva said. The effect of Eva’s words hit Lane as a surprise. A jolt
of hope quivered through her. If her best friend could discover new
horizons with her husband after all these years, Lane should be
able to land one man.

“Are there any guys checking you out lately?” Eva
asked.

“Well, yeah.” Lane said. As down as she was about her
current state, she had to admit a few glances came her way. The
thought of Kyle, ‘the hot intern,’ sprouted in her thoughts and
Lane couldn’t hold in a shocked laugh.

“What?” Eva asked.

“Nothing, I just had a flash of fucking Kyle.”

“Who’s Kyle?”

“An intern at the office. He’s got one of those
forgot-to-shave looks that I’m sure he cultivates but it’s fucking
hot on him.”

Eva put her tea down so hard it gave a sharp knock on
the tabletop.

“Oh my god you should! How old is he?”

“Twenty-three.”

“That’s PERFECT!”

“WHAT? Are you high?”

“No, no, no.” Eva said, taking to her task. “Listen,
he’s the PERFECT choice. You don’t want to get in some relationship
after this year. You’re not looking for anything permanent right
now. You just need a fuck buddy. His whole generation is into fuck
buddies and all that. I’m sure he would love to nail the hot
managing accountant down the hall. You would make him feel like
such a stud. And I know you. I’m sure you could have him wrapped
around your finger. I’m serious, you should go for it.”

“You want me to pull a Bill Clinton?” Lane asked.
“Really?”

“Yes really, and hell yeah. I want you to fuck Kyle
Lewinski,” Eva said.

“His last name is Berman,” Lane said.

“Whatever!” Eva was on a roll. “Listen, sometimes the
hottest fantasies are the ordinary ones right in front of you. Men
have been bedding interns for decades. It’s time we did some of
it.”

Some of the juice left Eva’s argument and Lane could
see a serious air settle on Eva.

“I know you’ve had it tough,” Eva said. “But it’s
time you start thinking of the silver linings of your divorce. It’s
a chance to do all those things you always wanted to but couldn’t
the first time around, because of Charles, or inexperience, or lack
of money or juggling college. Now you’ve worked so hard to get a
great job, you live in a great city and there’s a guy ready for
some fun right now.

“Lane, I’ll tell you, when I think about all the time
that passed while my resentments built up and Peter and I fought,
it breaks my heart,” Eva said. “I can see now what I wanted was
always right there in front of me but I couldn’t see it. What I
wanted wasn’t something people talk about at the church social or
in a book club, so I chose to restrain myself. I pushed down what I
wanted. And for what? It was for nothing. The only change I needed
was to make a different choice.”

An expression of contentment eased Eva’s features.
“Ever since I made the choice to just shrug off everything and
reach for what I wanted it’s never been better. After college I
accumulated all these little fears, all these doubts, all these
tiny compromises… They added up to almost strangle me. I know I
sound all self-helpy here. What I’m saying is getting yourself to
the place you want to be is a lot easier than you might think. I
was afraid for years to even contemplate acting on what I wanted. I
always thought I’d have to untangle everything inside of me to get
to a place where I was OK. The truth is, I put my mind to just
dropping all those stupid reasons for not doing what I wanted. Now
I’m OK wanting what I want, accepting I’m different. I was wasting
myself trying to be a keeping up with the Joneses girl. I’ve been
happier than ever. My happiness was just right there…”