Only The Beginning (Rockin' Country) (17 page)

He put his hands on his forehead. “It feels like I’m letting everybody down.”

“Now you’re just being dramatic,” she laughed.

He side-eyed her and crossed his arms over his chest before cracking a smile. “You’re right, I am. I just don’t wanna be here. I’d much rather be hacking a lung up on stage.”

Hannah opened her mouth to say something when someone knocked on the door. They looked at each other wide-eyed.

“Give me just a sec,” he told the person on the other side. He motioned for her to go into the bathroom.

Giggling, she grabbed her stuff and went inside, shutting the door quietly. Sound was muffled through the door, but from what she could gather; Garrett would be going home and was being discharged with some medication and strict orders for rest. When she heard the door to the room open and shut again, she stuck her head out slowly.

“Doctor and nurse are gone, you’re safe you little lawbreaker,” he grinned.

His disposition was decidedly happier now that he was going to be released. He grabbed his clothes and went to the bathroom to change.

“Do you want me to call Jared to come get you?” she asked before he closed the door.

“Yes, let’s blow this joint!”

*     *     *

It was blessedly quiet as Hannah lounged with her notebook propped on her knees. She glanced over to the side where Garrett slept. Instead of being on his tour bus, he had taken her offer of coming back to her hotel with her. He needed rest, and they agreed that he could probably get it better with her than he could on a bus full of men. Without a thought, she had re-arranged her schedule to allow both of them to stay at the hotel that night.

In sleep his face was relaxed, and he looked years younger. Faint freckles dotted his nose, and his eyelashes looked incredibly long against his cheeks. She couldn’t believe that this was the person she called her boyfriend. The part of her brain that had been hurt when Ashton cheated on her screamed in this instance that she better enjoy it while it lasted because he wouldn’t be around for long.

“Shut up,” she told that voice in her head. It always seemed to come out in quiet moments, when she least expected it.

Beside her, her phone buzzed and she picked it up, her lip curling when she saw Ashton’s name. He hadn’t texted her in a year, and it figured he would pick the exact moment she was doubting herself to do it again.

Hope your ‘boyfriend’ is feeling better. What happened? Did you finally give it up to him, and he was as disappointed as I was? Made him sick to his stomach I’m sure.

Hannah wanted to throw her phone, and it took everything in her not to. Her personality wasn’t given to outbursts of anger, but this was one of those times where she wished she could just beat up another person. It would feel so good to bury her fist in Ashton’s cheek, maybe cut his lip on his teeth, mess up what he considered a perfect face.

“Hey, you okay?”

She hadn’t even noticed that Garrett was awake. “Yeah.” She did her best to smile for him, putting her phone on the bedside table.

“Are you sure? You looked like you were about to cry there for a minute.”

It was stupid that he was the one sick and now he was worried about her because of something that Ashton had said to her. Story of her life. Pushing her hair behind her ear, she nodded. “Yeah, I’m fine. You feelin’ better?”

“I am.” He pushed himself up in the bed and held his arms open. “I could really use a hug though.”

For some reason, she had the feeling that he knew she needed the hug more than he did. Sinking into his arms felt good. It was nice not to have to go through things alone. The strength with which he held her restored at least some of her equilibrium, some of her faith. Leaning her face against his chest, she listened to the beat of his heart and let it calm down her feelings. It was a steady rhythm that she knew instinctively wouldn’t fail her. It was just so hard to let go of all the things that made her vulnerable.

“Thanks,” he whispered, kissing her forehead as he buried his face in her hair. “I needed that hug.”

“I did too,” she told him, her voice thin even to her own ears.

To his credit, he didn’t ask her a thing about it. Just got up from the bed and stretched. “I actually feel like I’ve joined the land of the living. I think it’s all the fluids they pumped into me along with the medicine. I’m going to go take a shower if that’s cool with you?”

“Sure, that’s fine with me. Do you want me to order some room service for you? I have to leave in about an hour to go get ready. If you feel up to it, you could come see how my fans party,” she shrugged her shoulder.

The way she said it, so unsure of herself, made him think again that something had happened. That while he was asleep she had started to question everything. Even though he was still feeling bad, he nodded. “I’d love to see your show, as long as you don’t call
me
out to sing with you. I don’t know that my reputation could take it. They might call me a pussy for singing country.”

She frowned. “That’s crass.”

“That’s me, and yes, I would love some room service,” he grinned, running into the bathroom, away from her disapproving glare.

The room service had just been delivered when he emerged from the bathroom, steam billowing out behind him as he walked out. Hannah had been getting the food ready, and when she heard the door open, her head snapped up. Garrett stood in front of her wearing nothing but a towel, his tattoos, and a mischievous grin. Rivulets of water made tracks down his bare chest and arms. One in particular caught her attention as it ran from his hairline, down his neck, and onto his chest and abdomen until it disappeared into the towel he had wrapped around his waist.

“Hey, eyes up here,” he teased, pointing at his face. “I’m not just some piece of meat you can stand there and ogle. At least let me eat some food and gather just a little bit of strength.”

His teasing tone made her smile, but it also made her remember the text that was sitting on her phone from Ashton. When would she let him stop affecting her? Would she ever be able to say just ‘f’ it and go on with her life? If she was completely honest with herself, Hannah knew that she still couldn’t answer that question, but she would give it a shot. The two of them had an extra night that they hadn’t counted on, and it didn’t matter to her that he had been sick. That text from Ashton showed her that she had something to prove to herself, and if she didn’t do it tonight, then she wasn’t sure she ever would.

*  *  *

H
annah was amazing on stage, Garrett decided as he stood in the wings. He had watched a transformation take place the closer they got to show time. Gone was the quiet and demure but fun woman—in her place was a woman who didn’t recognize her sexuality as she strutted across the length of the stage. She smiled and flirted with the crowd, waving as she went from one end to the other, shaking her ass at certain times and then at others laying her soul bare. One thing he had never realized was how soulful her voice was. When she was really feeling it, there was a gritty tone, coated in what almost sounded like tears. It was the sexiest thing he had ever heard in his life. Pride flowed through his body as she held the crowd in the palm of her hand. He took pictures with his phone and looked down at them to make sure they weren’t blurry, and he almost couldn’t recognize the woman in front of him. It wasn’t that he hadn’t been able to understand why she made the “sexiest woman” lists, but he had always thought she was too “girl next door”. Seeing her on stage, she was a fucking sex kitten, and he now knew exactly what other people had witnessed and wondered exactly what the hell Ashton Coleman had been doing wrong.

“She’s amazing on stage, isn’t she?”

He turned at the sound of Shell’s voice. “She is. I hate to say it, but after some of the stuff she told me about herself, I’m surprised.”

“Ashton did a number on her self-esteem.” She folded her arms across her chest. “It was only recently that she told me exactly what happened. But let me tell you this, over the course of their time together, I watched her completely change. He was…controlling.”

That pissed Garrett off. A woman like Hannah needed to be allowed to grow and spread her wings, not be squeezed into a mold and then locked away. “You can bet your ass that’s not me,” he told her, grinding his back teeth together.

“I know it’s not, that’s why I’m telling you this. Be patient with her, she’s not the normal twenty-four-year-old who’s looking to discover herself. She’s scared of that.”

He didn’t need Shell to tell him that, but it was good to know that his initial thoughts weren’t that far off the mark. “I want to help her through that. I want to show her that it’s okay to be who you are. I’d be the luckiest bastard in the world if I could get her to open up to me.”

The smile that broke across Shell’s face was so genuine that he had to smile back. “I’m glad to hear that. She’s my very best friend in the world, and I can’t see her hurt like that again. I didn’t think she would ever come out of it.”

Garrett put his hand over his heart. “I’m not going to say I won’t ever piss her off, because that’s not me, but I can tell you that I won’t intentionally hurt her.”

“I’ll hold you to that,” Shell told him, putting her hand on his shoulder. “And if you don’t live up to that, I’m not like Hannah, I’ll cut off you’re fucking balls.”

He laughed, loudly, until he coughed slightly. “You say the ‘f’ word too, huh?” he grinned.

“She hates it, but sometimes freakin’ doesn’t seem to have the same oomph.”

“That’s the fuckin’ truth.”

They snickered, sharing in their own private joke.

*     *     *

Hannah stepped out of the shower at the hotel room and debated on what she should wear. For some reason, she felt different tonight. When she had gotten off stage, the look in Garrett’s eyes wasn’t one she’d seen before. It was almost as if he saw her for the first time.

“You looked beautiful out there,” he had whispered in her ear as he grasped her around the waist and lifted her off the ground.

Her face warmed even now at the memory. She would remember the look on his face for the rest of her life. No one had ever looked at her that way before. It was a raw expression, and she thought that maybe it was filled with passion, but she had no experience with that. She didn’t want to assume, but she also didn’t want get on his nerves by acting so clingy that she pushed him away. It was a slippery slope that women like her navigated—wanting so badly to be different than what she was, but not knowing what being different truly entailed. Blowing out a frustrated breathe, she put on a pair of shorts and a tank top.

“One day,” she told herself. “You’re going to have to stop being such a fraidy cat.”

When she walked out of the bathroom, she realized her mental debate had been for nothing. Probably completely worn out, Garrett was fast asleep. She couldn’t help but giggle at the anguish she had caused herself before turning the bedside lamp off and crawling in beside him. Usually it took her hours to wind down, but because of getting up early to go see him, she was tired too. Within minutes, he rolled over and put his arms around her. In those strong arms she fell asleep, grasping his hand with hers. With everything she had, she wished she could fall asleep like this every night.