Only The Beginning (Rockin' Country) (18 page)

*     *     *

Hannah was roasting. Kicking the covers off with her legs, she squirmed against the mattress, wondering who in the world had turned the heat up. She fought to open her eyes, but she felt so lethargic.

“C’mon, Hannah,” she heard Garrett’s deep voice against her ear. “Wake up for me.”

She wanted to ask him why, but in that moment, she felt his large hand run over her side, down past her ribs and over her stomach. Once there it moved up to cup her breast. Just like that, she was completely awake and she stiffened against him.

“Tell me to stop if you want to,” he told her softly, his voice heavy with sleep. “I couldn’t stop myself when I woke up with you plastered against me like this. You were amazing on stage, and now that I know what you’re hiding in there, I want to bring it out.”

What in the world was he talking about? She wondered what she should do. Should she just tell him to stop, or should she try to go on with this?

“Hannah, you have to tell me what you want,” he told her, using the pad of his thumb to rake it across her nipple, kissing the side of her neck when it tightened.

“I don’t know what I want,” she admitted, swallowing hard against the lump in her throat.

“What are you scared of?” he asked, turning her over so that her back was against the mattress and he was looking down at her.

In her mind, he loomed over her, and it caused her to shrink back against the sheets, trying to make herself smaller. She knew he wouldn’t hurt her, but she couldn’t take another disappointment. “That I won’t be what you want me to be.”

“This isn’t about what I want, Han, it’s about bringing that part of you I see on stage out when you’re off stage. I saw you out there tonight and you were amazing.”

Tears glinted in her eyes. “I can only be amazing on stage.”

“No, that’s not what I’m saying. I’m saying it’s there, you just have to push past it and get to it.” He grasped her chin and tilted it so that she looked into his eyes. “It’s there,” he put his hand over her heart, “inside you. I get the feeling you’ve been told that you just aren’t that kind of woman, but I’m telling you…what I saw tonight, you are way more than that kind of woman.”

She heard what he was saying, but she didn’t believe it. “I don’t know what you mean,” she shook her head. “All I’ll do is disappoint you,” she whimpered, the wetness falling from her eyes.

“There is absolutely no judgment here. If we don’t like it, we keep going until we do. Not every relationship is the same—especially sexual relationships. You have to get to know your partner, you have to figure out what they like, what turns them on. Like with you, the way you bite your lip when you’re unsure of something, it gets me hard every time.”

Her face burned. No one had ever spoken like that to or about her before. “Please don’t say things like that,” she told him, shaking her head. She did the one thing that he had just mentioned, more than likely out of habit than anything else. When she did, he groaned and grabbed her hand, bringing it to the front of his shorts.

“Words lie, honey, but bodies do not. I want you.” His breath was shaky as her small hand stayed there, even when he released it and moved his to her head, grasping her hair. “Let me show you how amazing it can be. Just give me one night. Forget everything you thought you knew and let me in. I promise you, you won’t disappoint me, and you won’t have to go to the bathroom and use a vibrator.”

Her face really burned at that, and she couldn’t help but giggle. “I can’t believe you just said that.”

He pulled a face. “Tell me you’ve never done that before.” Something about her relationship with Ashton didn’t ring right to him, and he knew that she had been just as unsatisfied as the other man.

“I can’t,” she admitted.

“Give me tonight, what few hours are left of it. Please, give them to me.”

“I don’t know that I’m ready,” she told him, her voice tight as she pressed the words past the lump in her throat.

“I didn’t say sex. I said let me show you how amazing being with someone who knows what the fuck they’re doing can be.”

Should she say yes? Should she give him the power to hurt her that much more? If she gave him this part of her, regardless of if they had sex or not, she would be laying herself bare. Women like her didn’t do halfway on anything, and if she did this with him, she would want a commitment.

“I’m not the type of girl that you can do this with and then just not call tomorrow,” she explained.

“What?” His eyes narrowed. “You don’t think I know that? That’s not what this is about. If I wanted to just get off, there’s a shower in the other room. I want to get you off, not only tonight, but I’d be fine with every time we’re together after this. Doing this isn’t a joke for me. I don’t take it lightly either.”

“You never have?” She didn’t quite believe him. It was too good to be true.

“I had a misguided youth, just like the rest of the band did. I’m over that now.” He put his hands at her hips and pulled her to him. “I’m in this for however long it lasts, but you can bet your ass I won’t be sharing my bed with any other random women. That’s not who I am—not anymore. I’ve grown up. If I’m giving myself to you, it’s going to only be to you, and I expect the same from you. You’re not the only one who’s had to deal with a cheating significant other.”

What did she really have to lose? In reality she’d already lost everything. Her self-esteem, her sense of self-worth. “Okay,” she grinned. “Show me what you got Reaper.”

“Promise me,” he demanded, holding her chin so that she looked into his eyes. “Promise me that it’s just us.”

“It’s just us,” she told him, throwing her body at his and pressing her lips to his. “Just us.”

*  *  *

G
arrett moved up the bed so that he rested with his back against the headboard. Using his strong hands and arms, he lifted her up and over his body, allowing her to straddle him.

“It’s just us here,” he told her again. “You do what you want to do.”

That was the problem, what did she want to do? Never before had she been trusted with a man who did the types of things he did to her. Hell, looking at him now, he caused her stomach to flip and her hands to shake.

“I don’t know what I want to do,” she admitted. The words caused her face to redden with embarrassment. Who wouldn’t know what to do with the man who lay in front of her?

He reached his hand up to the neckline of her tank top and pulled on it lightly. “I know what I want to do.”

“Do it.” She bit her bottom lip, wanting him to take the reins this time. Hannah didn’t want to put a whole lot of thought into it this time. She just wanted him to direct her.

“You have to be okay with this.”

“I am, I’m just nervous,” she told him.

“No reason to be.” His eyebrow quirked before he reached around her body and cupped her back with his hands. He brought her flush with him before moving one hand up to her shoulder and pushing her towards him. The other hand went back to the neckline of her tank top and this time pulled it down, baring one side to his eyes.

Would he like what he saw? He knew they weren’t real. Would that make him feel weird about this whole thing? She watched with wide eyes as he dropped his head to her chest, his tongue snaking out to lick the hardened tip of her skin. She hissed, dipping her hips harder on him, grinding her body into his.

The smirk that covered his face showing his dimples was almost her undoing. “Glad to know you weren’t one of those poor souls that lost feeling when they had surgery.”

She couldn’t help the giggle that came from deep within her throat. “I know, right? That would really suck because I like the sensation.”

“Wow, you finally admitted something, color me surprised.”

Any words to answer his comment were lost in her throat as his mouth returned to the spot he had just left. Digging her fingers into his hair, she held him there, not wanting this to ever end. Ashton had never done anything like this, had never done anything that she enjoyed.

Hannah arched her back, pushing against him as his tongue drew circles around the hard nub of her breast. She pulled lightly on his hair as he used his teeth to nip at the skin there.

“You like that?” he whispered as he pulled away.

Her eyes were clamped shut and she nodded, but that wasn’t what he wanted. He wanted her to put voice to the things she needed from him. He wasn’t the type to just read someone else’s mind. If they were going to do any of this, he needed her to be involved.

“Tell me, Hannah. Tell me if you like it.”

She bit her lip, throwing her head back as he kept at it, finding a rhythm to his movements that caused her to widen her legs and sink down further on him. “I do,” she whispered.

“You do what?”

“Like what you’re doing.”

“That’s good.” She could hear the smile in his voice, could almost imagine the look on his face.

Suddenly she had to touch him; she had to feel his warm, hard skin. Opening her eyes, she ran her hands up against the muscles of his abdomen, pushing the shirt up. He took the hint and let go, reaching behind him to pull the shirt off his body. With her eyes adjusted to the dim light in the room, she could make out the tattoos that crisscrossed his arms and chest. They never failed to make her breath stick in her throat. Hannah didn’t want to examine why, they had never turned her on with another man. She had never wanted a man she dated to have them, but everything about Garrett turned her on—including the tattoos. Running her hands up his stomach to this neck, she grasped him there and lifted her body off his slightly, readjusting herself.

He groaned as she adjusted so that his body lay cupped against hers. “You’re playing with fire, Hannah. You are a hot piece of ass,” he whispered, moving his lips to her neck before pulling the tank top off her body.

His hands were so large and she so small, his fingers almost fit together when they spanned her waist, pulling her closer to him. The fact that he was so much bigger than her made him feel like such a powerful man. It was a heady experience, and he wasn’t prepared to give it up.

Moving his mouth back to her neck, he nibbled there, allowing one hand to trail down her stomach to her hips. He knew exactly what
he
wanted to do, but wasn’t sure she would be along for the ride. Grabbing her chin, he forced her to look at him as he pulled back from her neck.

“Look at me,” he demanded.

She tried to, she really did, but her eyes felt so heavy that they fell shut.

“Look at me, Hannah. Watch me. I want to see your reaction.”

She desperately wanted to ask him what he meant by her reaction, but suddenly all the air from her lungs came out in a gasp as the hand that had trailed down her body went to her core and his fingers brushed her underwear to the side. There, he used his middle finger to dip into the wetness there.

“Oh, damn, Hannah,” he breathed. “What part of you thinks you’re not motherfucking passionate? Holy shit.”

The words to answer him were on the tip of her tongue, but he surprised her by inserting that finger into her body, causing her to squirm and moan loudly. She couldn’t handle the feelings that were rising up within her body. It had never been like this before, a sudden rush and a fast-paced race to the finish. It was almost scary, the way her body responded to his. Had he been right? Had Ashton just not taken the time to do the things she liked? Was she really not a cold fish?

“It’s you,” she told him, swallowing roughly.

“No,” his tone brooked no argument. “No, it’s
you
, Hannah. All I’m doing is playing with what you’ve given me. It’s you. This is all you, baby.” He leaned his forehead against hers, moaning as she ground her body against his hand.

His other hand came up to tangle in her hair, pulling slightly so that his lips could capture hers. His tongue coaxed her mouth open, moving in time with the finger at the core to her body.

“Garrett,” she groaned, ripping her lips away from his.

“What do you need?” he asked, wanting this to be good for her, wanting her to realize that it wasn’t always about the man in her life. “It’s okay that you take what you want when you want it with me. Nothing excites me more,” he assured her.