Operation Family (10 page)

“I know it’s not everything you need, but we did our best in the time we had.”

“You did more than I expected. Thank you,” Mac told Wynn while Nicole neared the ebony rockers that sat near the cribs.

“It’s beautiful. The cribs with the etchings on the railings, it’s stunning.”

“If you look carefully you can see there are flags and stars mixed in with the swirl design. It’s the independence model, only carried at Heart of Diamond, my children’s boutique. They will transform into toddler beds when the time comes,” Wynn explained.

“The changing table, dressers, and rockers match. The details are amazing. Thank you.” Nicole ran her fingers over every surface.

“Don’t thank me, it was all Mac. I just set it up.”

“The nursery couldn’t have come together without you, Gwen, Ace, and Boom, I do appreciate it.” Something in Mac’s tone had Nicole glancing back at him to find him smiling at her.

Wynn laid her hand on Mac’s arm, and it sent an unexpected wave of jealousy through Nicole. “You’ve had a long day of traveling and I know you need to get the girls settled, so we’ll take off. Nicole, I look forward to meeting you again and if you need anything Mac knows how to reach us. If my boutique doesn’t have it I have the connections to find whatever you need.”

“Thank you.”

“I’ll see you out.” Mac followed Wynn, leaving Nicole in the nursery alone.

She stood by the window, her knees brushing against the window seat as she tried to remind herself she had no reason to be jealous. Mac wasn’t hers and never would be. If she was going to stick around and raise the girls with him, she couldn’t react like a knife had been stabbed through her chest every time a woman was around.

Eventually he’d find someone to date, possibly marry, and she’d have to deal with that. She knew he wasn’t interested in her; she was too young. So why did it hurt to see another woman, even a married woman, touch him?

He’s mine.

She tried to force the thought away, knowing it wasn’t true—and never would be.

With a cold beer in his hand, Mac leaned against the granite countertop with Wynn’s parting words replaying in his mind.

She’s just the woman you need. Don’t let her slip through your fingers, treat her right, and everything will work out. Enjoy your Christmas break, Commander.
Dating advice was not what he needed, but maybe she was right.

She was sixteen years his junior, and he still believed age would eventually become a problem. It didn’t stop him from wanting her. What would her parents say about it? His parents? Nearly forty and he still worried about what his parents were going to say. He was fortunate enough to have a close bond with them. His father had told them once that he saved them, but to him it was the other way around. He heard the horror stories of what the state childcare system was like and his parents had rescued him from that.
They had given him a home and love when they didn’t have to.

He had done with the girls what his parents had done for him, and now he finally understood what his dad meant. Gabriella and Sophia brought a new meaning to his life, one that wasn’t just the military. Their smiles first thing in the morning when they were still sleepy, and he picked them up out of the crib. Those were the moments when it was all worth everything. He realized what he did was truly worth it; his career kept his babies safe. That made it worth every loss.

“The girls are asleep.” Nicole sat the baby monitor on the countertop and flopped onto one of the bar stools, exhausted. “Do you have any more of those?”

“Wynn left you a bottle of wine chilling if you’d prefer.”

“No, beer is fine.”

He stepped away from the counter, grabbed another beer bottle from the refrigerator, and cracked it open before handing it to her. “You wanted to talk.”

“I do.” She took a long drink of the beer. “Mac, you’re a great guy—”

“But you’re old.” He cut her off and filled in the blank because he knew where this was going. So much for Wynn’s encouragement.

“No.” She sat the beer on the counter with a thump, sending the liquid inside sloshing out. “That wasn’t what I was going to say at all. I wanted to talk to you about the mixed signals. You said yesterday that nothing could happen between us because I’m too young for you, then today you give me hope that you’ve changed your mind. Mac, for us to raise the girls together without tension between us I can’t go back and forth. Either you have no intentions on exploring this attraction or you do, but you can’t have it both ways. You can’t slip your arm around my waist and pull me against your body one minute and then turn the cold tap the next.”

“Do you not think there will be comments about our age difference?”

“Who the hell cares? This is our life. We’re the ones who need to be happy. Are you worried the general public won’t approve, or your commanding officers? Are you implying there could be career consequences?”

“This isn’t about my career, it’s about us.” He pushed off the counter, crossing the space in two quick steps, and laid his hand over hers. “You’re young, with your whole life ahead of you. Do you really want to settle for an old man? You could have children of your own with a man who will be there for your lifetime.”

“Our time here isn’t guaranteed, if anyone knows that it’s us. Right now, I want you. As for tomorrow, next week, or even next year, who knows? We’ll have to take things as they come. I think we should explore this and see where it leads.” She slipped off the bar stool and came around the bar to stand before him. “You’re not old, mature but not old, and as I said before…age means nothing to me.”

“Age plays a part in things more than you know.” He wrapped his arms around her waist. “Someday I’ll leave you as a widow.”

“That’s something I’ll have to deal with. Or it could be the other way around, just as it happened with Shawn.” She pressed her body along the length of him, making his resistance drop another level.

“You’re beautiful.” He tangled his hand in her hair and gazed into her eyes, which held disbelief. “Utterly beautiful. Tomorrow I’m going to take away your doubt.”

“Why tomorrow, when I’m right here waiting?” Her voice remained low and timid.

Every part of him wanted to take her, to have her in every way possible, but not tonight. They both had a long few days, and the traveling had taken its toll on them. Tonight she should go to bed alone and think about where things were going. “I want you to have one last night to think about what it will mean if we go down this path. You need to understand what challenges we will face. Not just with our age difference, but with my career, the girls, the mystery and loneliness that a relationship with me might leave you with.”

“Loneliness?” She raised an eyebrow at him.

“I don’t just mean while I’m deployed. Military wives are great support, but the SEAL group is small tightknit family. SEALs make up less than one percent of the Navy. The only two married in my squad are Ace and Boom. Hell, even my commander isn’t married, he doesn’t have a life outside of work. That’s been me for years, and change won’t happen overnight.” He let his finger slide under the edge of her sweater to tease along the edge of her jeans, against her bare flesh.

“You are who you are, I’m not asking you to change.” She cupped his cheek. “You worry too much…just like me.”

“I’m trained to think of all the outcomes, to weigh the possibilities; I can’t turn it off even when I want to.” He took a step back, taking her with him until his back was against the counter again. “Another possibility I’ve been considering, you’ve always had Shawn there with the girls when you’ve needed additional help. If I’m training or on a mission I won’t be here to help, what do you think about hiring a nanny to help you?”

“A nanny?” Her head tipped back in pure laughter. “
I’m
supposed to be the nanny,” she reminded him between bouts of giggles.

“I think we both know that you’re more than just a nanny to those girls. You’re their mother, and after the holidays I plan to make it official. No matter what happens between us, you should be their guardian. We’ll be their parents, but I have to say those poor girls got saddled with the short end of the deal, having me as their father.”

“You’ve been a wonderful father to the girls. Gabriella and Sophia have taken to you like I never expected.” She pressed a light kiss to his chin. “We’re making a family for the girls and things will turn out fine.”

He wasn’t sure what fine was when it came to him being a father, or having this instant family, but he’d learned long ago to go with the flow. As long as Nicole stuck by him through the learning curve, things would turn out okay. She had been his rock through all of this, assisting him when he was at a loss with what the girls wanted. Age difference or not, he realized while he was pretending to sleep through the flights, when the girls weren’t fussing, that he wasn’t willing to give her up. He’d do what he could to prove he wasn’t some old fella, and the first step was doing something special for her.

Tomorrow.

With Mac on the phone and the girls tucked into their crib, Nicole took one last look around the kitchen. The gray and silver swirled granite countertops set nicely against the cherry wood cabinets and high-end appliances. The black back-splash, with silver accents, tied everything together. The gourmet kitchen was beyond what she’d have expected him to put in the house when he said it only cooked the basics. But if he was going to flip the house, this kitchen would get the most bang for the buck. She could picture herself cooking in the space, making them dinners while the girls played in the living area off the kitchen.

What she had seen of the house so far, she could see it being a home to them. A place where the girls could grow and she could start a new life with Mac. Things were moving quicker in her mind than physically, but she knew that somehow they would work things out. They’d be together in the end, giving the girls a true family in every way, and possibly someday adding to their little family.

With one last glance at the kitchen, she made her way down the hall and through the rest of the downstairs. Exploring each room as she came to it and trying to picture what Mac had started. Many of the rooms were untouched, or only half-finished, but the living room and kitchen were complete. Even with all the work he had already done there was still a lot left to do. Just on the main floor there was still the dining room, den, library, and second family room. Upstairs he still had six bedrooms, not including the basement he mentioned wanting to finish to create an entertaining paradise to go along with the home theater that was already down there. The basement would be an entertainer’s dream since it opened up nicely to the patio in the back.

She had grown up in a small house with hardworking parents, but money had always been tight, so when she first saw Shawn’s house she fell in love with it. The grandness of it all had been overwhelming, but it was just the idea of having space to spread out, not having to be on top of one another. After sharing a room with her brother until she moved out, she loved having a space she could call her own.

At Shawn’s she had turned her bedroom into a retreat, a place just for her where she could go to relax and unwind. She hadn’t even seen her bedroom here but she already knew she didn’t need it. There were plenty of places for her to unwind, her favorite already being the library with its window seat overlooking the back yard. Maybe she could convince him to work on that room before the others.

She stood there looking down on the yard. The flagstone patio dominated the space right behind the house, with bright green grass until the property backed to nothing put trees as far as the eye could see. Peaceful privacy and over six acres of it.

“I was thinking of adding a large custom-built swing and play-set for the girls.” Mac came up behind her, placing a hand on her lower back.

“You do know they won’t be able to use it for a while, right?”

“I was thinking baby swings, and I can change them out later. It’s a thought, but not until the weather is nicer. In the meantime, I can get the house in order. I need to finish things before we have them walking around.”

“I was just thinking about that. Maybe you could push this room up your to-do list?” She turned so her body was almost against him. “It’s such a cozy room. I can see the girls and me spending time in here. I see them quietly playing in front of the fire and I know I could spend hours on this window seat lost in a novel.”

“
Amore
, as you command. Also, a guest room in case you wish to invite family or friends for a visit.”