Operation: Married by Christmas (16 page)

Haley knew he was telling the truth where Applegate was concerned. “I'll think about staying until Christmas,” she said. “But no trying to kiss me. I can't think straight when you kiss me.” She shouldn't have said that and wasn't happy that she'd admitted it to him.

He held her gaze steady, locked his jaw hard, and she got the distinct feeling that he, like she, was remembering the kisses they'd shared the day before.

“I said I'd stay out of your way. That means no more kisses,” he said at last. “If that's what it takes for you to stay around for a little while. Applegate deserves that, Haley. And I'm sorry that I got in the way of it. I'll go now. I just thought you needed to know how I felt.” He started to leave, then paused as if to add something but instead spun away and left her to think.

Applegate did deserve more from her. She'd already acknowledged it, and here she was about to run again. He'd been there for her every step of her life, and what had she done for him?

Will was striding purposefully away from her. She followed at a slower pace. At the barn door, she watched him get into his truck, feeling a tug of tears for lost dreams. When he turned to give her one last look, she lifted her chin almost as a shield against the emotions she saw written in his expression. She wasn't sure what she saw there…. Anger, sadness, regret…love?

Regret. She knew that one well, so welcome to the club. Because of him, she felt as if her entire life had been one long regret after the other. And this disastrous
thing
between them was the root of it. A blast of ice-cold wind swept around the corner of the barn and hit Haley full force, stinging her cheeks and making her eyes water. She gasped and told herself the tears slipping from her eyes were simply a reaction to the bite of the air. But watching him leave caused her heart to swell, as if it would burst. She swiped at her eyes with the back of her hand. Will Sutton had ruled her life from the moment she'd first fallen in love with him.

It was true. Every turn, good or bad, she'd ever made had been because of her love for him or her anger at him. She'd said she didn't look back, but everything behind her had driven her to become the woman she was today. Even now, she was making choices for her future based not on what she wanted but on what she was trying to leave behind. And that was Will. To be honest, in the beginning it had been the town not letting her grow up, but it was mostly Will that fueled her choices now.

It wasn't right. She'd been exhausted and on the verge of depression when she'd arrived here weeks ago. She closed her eyes and threw back her head in frustration as more tears threatened.

She had to get off the merry-go-round.

She had to break the cycle.

It was so simple. What did she want? What did she want to do with her life? What would make her happy?

She didn't exactly have answers, but she did know running back to Beverly Hills wasn't the answer.

Haley sucked in the frigid air, then hurried across the yard and up the steps into her grandpa's house.

The last thing he'd urged her to do before she went to sleep the night before was to ask God to guide her. She'd been too upset and angry to turn to God. Not only now, but for years. Yet, she felt an overwhelming need to talk to Him now. She could blame Will for only so much. She was an adult and if she ever wanted to respect herself, she had to be accountable for her own choices.

Sinking into a chair at the table, Haley let her gaze roam slowly around her grandparents' home. “Dear Lord.” The words came out cracked and awkward. Her eyes rested on the picture of her grandparents on the hall wall. Their smiles urged her to continue.

It was time to change her life. She might not understand what was going to make her happy, but she finally understood that to figure it out and be happy, really happy…she had to confront her problems straightforwardly and not by looking back.

She bowed her head and started over. “Dear Lord.” Her words were stronger, fueled by conviction. If she wanted change in her life, then she had to mean it and it had to start with sincere prayer.

“T
hanks for the lift, Lacy,” Haley said, hopping out of the Caddy.

“You call me anytime. And, Haley, I do believe God has a plan for you here.”

Haley glanced toward the diner then back to Lacy. “I'm not sure what He has planned for me. But I think that if Applegate wants me to hang around here badly enough to sabotage my car, and I really do think he did—” she smiled at his antics, both funny, yet sad, to her “—then I'm going to do it.”

“But are you happy? Haley, you've got to be happy.”

“Lacy, it's been so long since I was truly happy that I'm not sure what that is anymore. But I feel confident that this is the right thing to do. Do you know what I mean?”

Lacy smiled, reached a hand out and laid it over Haley's resting on the car door. “I do. I'm praying for you. And I hope you know that Jesus says to approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need. Haley, you have a lot going on. Please remember that God will help you.”

Feeling confident that turning to the Lord had been the first right decision she'd made in a long time, Haley squeezed Lacy's hand. “Thank you. Okay, time to break the news. See you later.”

Taking a deep breath, she spun and walked up onto the sidewalk and through the swinging doors into the diner.

The jukebox was just finishing up a lively Jerry Lee tune with the man burning up the piano keys as she entered. Instantly, greetings rushed in to fill the ensuing silence.

It was, she realized, not something she'd ever get living anywhere but Mule Hollow.

“Hello, Haley Bell.”

“How's it going, Haley Bell?”

“Looking good today, Haley Bell!”

Feeling more sure about her decision, she waved at each person and moved to the windowseat where Applegate and Stanley were bent over an intense game of checkers. Suspiciously intense, as a matter of fact. So much so that they hadn't heard all the commotion she'd stirred up walking in—yeah, right. She knew from where they were sitting that they'd seen her get out of Lacy's car. It was more than apparent to her that they were pretending because they obviously had something to hide. Like incapacitating her car.

She placed her hands on her hips and cleared her throat loudly, tapping her boot as she studied their bald spots and waited.

After a moment, they slowly lifted their graying heads, doing a horribly bad job of looking surprised to see her.
Oh, brother,
she thought, hiding her smile.

“Haley Bell, darlin'!” Applegate exclaimed and Stanley echoed his greeting.

“Helllooo, fellas. Mind if I join you?”

Applegate stood and stole a chair from the table behind him. “Sure, sure. Sa-
ammm,
” he yelled. “Haley Bell needs a sweet tea! And a hamburger. You want a hamburger? Yeah, a hamburger,” he bellowed when she nodded.

By now Haley was almost in stitches. “My car wouldn't start this morning. Imagine that?” she said. “And I was a little hurt that you didn't hang around this morning to tell me goodbye. It's almost lunch-time now. I mean, you did remember that I was leaving this morning, first thing. Right?”

“Of course I remembered. But why would I want to hang around just to watch you drive off?”

Haley's heart wrenched with love for her ornery grandpa.

“Yeah, Haley Bell, Applegate ain't getting any younger. Watching you drive off mighta been more' n his ol' heart could stand. Did you ever thank about that? He might just drop in yer tracks watchin' you drive off. Jest fall flat out in yer dust and that'd be it.”

“I get the picture, Stanley,” Haley chuckled. They were sure amping up the pity party. Laying a hand on Applegate's, she leaned in and kissed his wash-board cheek. “Not that I think you're leaving me anytime soon, but I did some thinking and praying about the driving off and leaving you behind bit.”

“What's going on over here?” Sam said, setting an amber glass of tea in front of her. “Applegate, you cause more ruckus than yer worth, disturbing my customers like that.” He glared at her grandpa and smiled at her. “Your burger's comin up in a minute. I tossed the beef on the grill. Now, what's going on?”

Haley glanced around the table, clasped her hands together and smiled, confident this was the right thing to do. “Grandpa, what would you think about me moving home to Mule Hollow?”

For a second everything was stone-cold silent.

“Did you say, ‘movin home'?” Applegate asked, his eyes brightening.

Haley nodded.

“Sam, did ya hear that? My Haley's moving home. Stanley, did ya hear?”

Haley laughed when she was suddenly engulfed in a bear hug. And it hit her that she'd just made the right decision. It might be complicated for her and a little bit hard, but it was right. She felt it deep inside.

Sam's wrinkles stretched to their limits, his grin was so big. “Well, Haley, it's about time you came to yor senses and come back where you belong.”

Stanley slapped his hands together and grinned. “I think this calls for apple pie all around. What'd y' all thank about that?”

Haley grinned. “Stanley, I
thank
you're right. Sam, bring on the pie.”

 

The news traveled fast that Haley Bell Thornton was here to stay. By the time the evening came around and she entered the community center to paint props, Haley figured everyone had heard. Including Will.

She'd had a busy afternoon, and while her head was spinning from the response she'd received from everyone in Mule Hollow, her ears were still burning from what Sugar had had to say about the news.

It had not been pretty.

But Haley felt a mixture of excitement, relief and trepidation about the entire idea. Of course, as she'd stressed to Sugar, it was all good. It was all going to work out great because Haley had a plan.

A plan she'd discussed with Lacy after praying about it. A plan that Lacy assured her was no accident. Lacy looked straight at her and told her that she felt confident that God had prepared her for this very moment all of her life…Haley still wasn't as convinced of that as Lacy, but she drew strength from Lacy's conviction.

That conviction meant nothing to Sugar.

“You're going to do what?” Sugar had screeched. Haley had expected nothing less from her assistant and friend.

“I'm going to open a real-estate office here. And I think I'm going to try my hand at flipping a couple of houses. There's really a need for someone to rehab some of the places on the market here.”

“Haley, you have a job. You have a big fish waiting on you right this very moment to come back here and sell him a property. May I remind you that Marcus Sims has almost driven me crazy trying to find out where you are?”

“Sugar, I have to do this. I have to find something that matters to me on a level separate from ambition, money or even love. I have to find something in my life that surpasses all of that. And I think despite everything that's happened, it's here. Mule Hollow is where my roots are…and this is where I feel alive.”

Sugar heaved a sigh. “I have to admit, you do sound, well, I can't really say you sound happy, but you sound different. I just hope this isn't some spur-of-the-moment thing and you wake up after you've made the break and regret what you're giving up.”

Regret.
Haley had chuckled over that six-letter word. If Sugar only knew.

Of course, as Haley stood outside the community center and prepared to enter it, she understood that for now she was running on adrenaline. She just prayed that tomorrow she didn't wake up and agree with Sugar. After all, she had a life in Beverly Hills. It wasn't making her happy; it wasn't fulfilling her the way she'd always thought it would. And though her head hadn't acknowledged it, she'd known in her heart for a while that she was heading down a long road that led nowhere emotionally. She'd been growing depressed and almost desperate for months now that she looked back on it. Maybe that was why she'd turned her car in the direction of Mule Hollow when she'd left Linc. She'd felt as if her world were crashing in around her and she couldn't scramble fast enough to keep her head up any longer.

Now she was getting the chance to find answers and at least make Applegate happy. Why, in just the hours since telling him her plan, he'd been beaming like the sun itself. And that made Haley very happy.

Feeling excited and edgy at the same time, Haley had decided to get a head start on some of the final painting that needed to be done on the props. Time was running out. With just six days left until dress rehearsal, everything needed to be finished.

She slipped inside the community center, smiling because, like Applegate and his front door, no one saw any need to lock the doors of the center. Mule Hollow—there just was no other place quite like it.

Walking toward the paint, she searched out the can of green, grabbed a brush from the drain in the kitchen, then went to work. It was just small stuff that needed attention, like rescuing three more trees that looked like Popsicles, so Haley set to work ruffling them up a bit. Overall, everything was looking great. Haley had a good feeling about the entire production. The room was quiet as she popped the top off two different types of green paint and set to work making the blocks into willowy trees.

Soon, if they didn't already, everyone would know that she was moving home to Mule Hollow. Word traveled like a grass fire in the small town. Of course, she knew that she was thinking about Will. She wondered what he would say when he found out that she'd made such a dramatic decision. The work would help settle her nerves.

She felt sure he hadn't expected so much when he'd promised to stay out of her way if she stayed until Christmas.

Just how well would he keep that promise now that she was staying indefinitely?

More important and worrisome—how well did she want him to? She might have made a huge life change, but she wasn't quite to the point where she could think about Will.

She knew there would be occasions when they'd have to be around each other. Like she'd thought earlier, just as long as they didn't have to be alone together.

That meant absolutely no more wild berry chases or gator hunts. Or pig traps.

Had she really experienced all of that in the few weeks since she'd been here? And all with Will.

Shaking her head at the irony of it, she studied the tree that was starting to actually look like a tree and made an adjustment to a fresh leafy ruffle, took a deep breath and continued painting. She enjoyed painting and had a natural talent for it, though she'd never kidded herself that it would be a talent that would have ever made her a living. But it was good for times like this, and she figured that if she ever did actually marry and have children, it would come in handy when it came to school projects. She hadn't thought about children in a long time. That was another of those regrets.

She hadn't had time to think about children. She'd been so busy making something of herself…. But she wanted children—at least she had before she'd started obsessing about succeeding at something other than being cute. She'd been thinking about kids a lot over the last year. She knew deep down that was part of the reason she'd agreed to marry Lincoln. Her biological clock was ticking. But before it was too late, she'd realized that it was also one of the many wrong reasons for marrying a man she didn't love. Of course, when she'd agreed to marry Darin that had been a mistake from the get-go. Her head and heart had been so messed up then, that children hadn't been a thought…. That had been Will's fault.

He'd doomed all of her relationships and yet, in her heart of hearts despite all the anger and the hurt and the confusion, when she thought about kids, she thought about Will.

The man made her nuts. Here she was thinking about him again. For a minute, she panicked. She was making a mistake coming back here. She couldn't face these ricocheting feelings.
Stop it, Haley.

Applegate really needed her; family meant something. If she ran this time, she would never be able to face herself…or God. She had to stop running. She had to.

She was going to do this. She was committed to it. It was the first real commitment she'd made in years.

Peace came over her with the commitment. She was ready for a slower pace. She needed a slower pace. Maybe that was what had brought her back here in the first place. Maybe God knew all along that she needed to slow down, but she didn't know how to get off the merry-go-round.

In the silence of the room, Haley bowed her head. Right there in the middle of the Mule Hollow community center—all three thousand square feet of it—she thanked the Lord for leading her home. For not giving up on her.

Deciding the tree limb needed a bit of help, too, she hopped up and went in search for some brown paint. She had just picked the can up when she heard the door open.