Operation: Married by Christmas (18 page)

So much for thinking she was going to swing through the night untouched. Haley picked up another tablecloth and held on to it like a shield. “Don't get your hopes up. I've sworn off men for at least a year. And Will Sutton for life!” Where had that come from?

“A year?” Esther Mae shrieked, immediately drawing looks from everyone as she made a beeline around the edge of the table to hover beside Norma Sue, who was looking flabbergasted herself.

“Did you say a year?” she grunted disbelieving. “Where in the world did that come from?”

Haley felt a little put out, especially since the words had just popped out of her mouth. She'd been just as surprised to hear the news as they had, but now that she thought about it, maybe it was for the best. She needed to get her head on straight before she thought about moving forward romantically with anyone. Particularly if she were going to make sensible decisions and give the Lord a chance to guide her.

“Yes. A year,” she said forcefully. “And I just decided it this minute.” It wouldn't be the first time she'd made a spur-of-the-moment decision, and she'd come to realize that it probably wouldn't be her last. But this at least sounded like the right choice, despite her heart telling her she was a fool.

“And no Will?” Esther Mae whispered, a hand coming up to rest against her cheek.

Haley nodded emphatically. No Will. Absolutely!

“Well, this will not do. Not do at all,” Esther Mae said, fanning herself with her hands, her brow furrowed.

Norma Sue patted her friend's arm. “Now, calm down, Esther Mae. It's just time. Time changes everything.”

“Time,” Ester wailed, then ducked her chin in an effort to be inconspicuous.

Too late for that—everyone was watching them. Including Will and her frowning grandpa. Haley got a lump in her stomach that knotted up and burned like fire. She was probably getting an ulcer. She was realizing that coming back to Mule Hollow was going to be harder than she thought. Spinning away from Will's observant eyes, she attacked the slightly wrinkled tablecloth with a vengeance, feeling more foolish and lost than ever. Wasn't trusting the Lord supposed to make things better? Norma Sue and Esther Mae jumped into the fray, smoothing wrinkles down the long table.

“Haley, obviously you haven't noticed how Will looks at you when you aren't looking at him,” Esther Mae said, almost breathless from the fast pace they were all working at in their wrinkle smoothing. “Why, the man gazes at you so wistfully that it makes my heart go pitter-patter.”

“It doesn't matter to me how he looks at me,” she snapped, while her heart did a little of its own pitter-pattering thinking about Will watching her wistfully. She pushed the idea away.

Lacy called all actors to the stage—which meant that Norma Sue would at least have to give up her harassment for the moment. She gave Haley a come-on-get-yourself-together-girl look before she headed off to join the cast. When Esther Mae started to speak, Haley beat her to it, needing space to try and clear her head. “I'm going to go get some supplies from the back, Esther Mae.” Her hands were shaking as she hurried toward the back. Halfway there she had to pass by Will, and despite everything, her eyes were drawn to him. He was watching her, too, with somber dark eyes. She wished she'd kept her eyes to herself as she tore her gaze away and quickened her steps.

The storeroom was past the kitchen on the opposite side of the big room from the dressing rooms, so it was a safe place to go for some much-needed peace. Almost in panic mode, she would have kept walking straight out the back door, which was directly to the back of the storeroom, if she'd had her car waiting. But she'd ridden in with Applegate, saving her from an easy escape. Still, as she slumped against the wall, it was all she could do not to run. Reeling, she slid down to sit on the top of the metal trash can squeezed between a wall of wide shelves and a row of cabinets. With only the mop and broom to see her, she dropped her forehead into her hands.
What was she doing?

Maybe Sugar was right. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all.

No.

She was a big girl, and despite the convoluted feelings that seemed to be stopping up her lines of communication between her head and her heart, Haley knew moving home was the right thing to do. If she could just make it through the holidays, then it would be easier. After all, the holidays were hard on her every year. No matter where she was and despite having denied it to Applegate, it had everything to do with tomorrow.

The day that would have been her wedding anniversary if she'd married Will ten years ago.

“Haley.”

The sound of Will's voice sent ripples of unwanted happiness coursing through her. He stepped around the doorway and blocked her exit, filling the room with his presence.

“What do you want?” The words sounded harsher than she'd meant them to. “You said you would stay out of my way.” He couldn't know how much she needed to keep distance between them.

“Everyone giving you a hard time?”

He'd read between the lines and she shot him a disgruntled look that said it all. How could she find her own way with so many trying to give her directions?

“It will get better, Haley.”

Easy for him to say. She rammed her hands though her hair and closed her eyes. “I hope so,” she sighed, wishing he would leave. Needing him to leave.

After a moment of silence, she got her wish and, though her eyes were closed, she felt him turn to go.

Her eyes flew open. “Wait.” The word tore from her, stopping him. He turned slowly. “Why did you do it? Why did you move away after you were going to make me stay?” She didn't have to elaborate. He knew what she wanted to know. What she needed to know.

His expressive brown eyes softened. “Because running isn't something unique to you, Haley. I may have tried to keep you here out of a misguided effort to love and protect you but…” He paused, his beautiful voice drifting away as his gaze sharpened with emotion that tore at her defenses. “After you left there was nothing for me here. And everywhere I looked I saw you. I couldn't take that day in and day out.”

“Then why did you come back?” She pulled her eyes away from his gaze and studied her tightly clasped hands.

“I didn't realize it then but I think a part of me was hoping you would come home. I came back for you, Haley.”

T
he play went well on Friday night. The house was packed. Women were everywhere. After all, Mule Hollow was the little town that advertised for wives. It was the little town that Lacy Brown had painted the colors of the rainbow and Molly Popp wrote about in her weekly newspaper column, and it was the place a bunch of women hoped to find their one, true love.

Yeah, right, Will thought sullenly. He'd hoped for the same thing. And he'd found it, but so far, it hadn't done him a bit of good.

Tonight he watched from behind the scenes, literally, as he and Applegate took care of changing the scenes between acts. He watched the play on autopilot, his thoughts with Haley instead. After his revelation to her the night before, she had looked at him with such disgust that he'd left her there. After all, he'd promised her he'd stay away from her. For the rest of the night they'd kept their distance and, despite Applegate's hounding that he needed to do something, Will went home from rehearsal feeling like his world was once again crashing in around him.

His commitment to the show and a long talk with the Lord had helped him make the drive into town tonight for the opening night of the production. Even Applegate was quiet as they managed the scene changes together. Both of them knew that it should have been Will's ten-year anniversary. Until last night when she'd looked at him with such disdain, he'd held hopes that today would be different. That today might have dawned with hope in it for a new beginning. The reality was that any future for them looked bleak.

When the play was over and the lights went out, Will escaped to his truck with every intention of disappearing for the remainder of the night. The play had gone well. The attendance was staggering, and the remainder of the evening promised to be a festive celebration.

All the more reason for him to leave. He was getting into his truck when Clint stopped him.

“Buddy, are you okay?”

“Hey, Clint.” Will glanced at his friend. They were alone since everyone was already down at Sam's for cookies and punch. “Honestly, I'm not doing okay. I'm tired, Clint. It seems like I've been trying my whole life to build a life. But it boils down to this—if Haley isn't going to share it with me then I'm just spinning my wheels. I know that and am at a loss as to what to do.”

Clint studied him. “Every relationship has obstacles to overcome, Will. Admittedly, the two of you have a hard history to overcome, but it can be done. It's going to take time.”

Will gave a caustic grunt. Time. He felt like he'd wasted half his life and time was running out.

“Trust the Lord, Will. It might not seem like it, but He's got your back.”

Will studied the dark sky. He knew it was true. That God hadn't forsaken him. He knew in his heart that if it was His will, anything was possible. Even Haley being able to forgive him. If she could ever do that then maybe she could love him again. But it was the
maybe
that pained him.

“So, why are you leaving?” Clint asked.

“I'm not feeling very sociable. And I promised her I'd stay out of her way if she moved back to Mule Hollow.”

Clint looked at him as if he were loco. “Well, why would you want to do something like that?”

“Desperate, I guess. Only thing I could think of to keep her from running off again.” Will started the engine of his truck and shifted to Reverse.

Grinning, Clint stepped away from the truck. “Sounds to me like you need to come up with another plan.”

Will drove off wishing someone would give him a better plan because at the moment he was all out of ideas.

 

The production had gone well Friday night. Haley had purposefully taken her car to town in case she'd needed to leave. Not run, but leave to go back to Applegate's. She'd committed to not running and she wasn't no matter what.

She'd helped Adela take tickets at the door and thus hadn't needed to have any contact with Will, though she'd found herself watching him in the shadows for most of the evening. He'd looked grim the entire night. His eyes, troubled, almost pained.

The look cut Haley as nothing else had. He was hurting and it was plain to see. But at the rehearsal when he'd said he'd come back for her, she hadn't said anything. She'd been afraid to trust the emotions his words stirred within her. Watching him on Friday night, still unable to understand the emotions bashing around inside of her, she left as soon as the program was over.

By Saturday morning she was a wreck. She'd had a hard night and the day didn't get any better. Her emotions were so raw and conflicting that she spent most of it out riding her horse. Hiding out from Applegate and also needing to distance herself from the pain she'd seen in Will's eyes. The pain, which just a few weeks ago would have made her feel vindicated, but today made her feel empty.

She arrived at the second and final presentation knowing something had to change, because she couldn't continue with turmoil. She prayed for God to lead her.

When Will didn't show up for the final performance, she found it hard to concentrate on anything except worrying about where he was.

She'd hoped to see him, had wanted him to be there.

The realization came as she watched Molly and Bob portraying Mary and Joseph in the play. Haley was suddenly struck by the bond that built between them as they shared in the extraordinary experience that God had chosen them for. Though they faced much trial and tribulation along the nine-month journey to Jesus's birth, God had blessed them with His love, strength and faith that they were the chosen couple. He'd also blessed them with each other's strength.

It was touching to witness it, and realize that Mary and Joseph were real people caught up in extraordinary events together.

When the play was over, Haley was lost in the crowd and in thought as she trailed behind the group to the bonfire. As everyone began to sing Christmas carols, all songs she loved, she couldn't join in. Her heart wasn't in it. The sadness that had been following her caught up with her.

She wanted to share her life with someone.

All she could think of was that Will wasn't beside her. Did she really need time to figure out what she wanted out of life?

Because she was holding on to a silly grudge.

She slipped from the crowd and walked over to the Nativity scene. Christmas was almost here. The celebration of Jesus' birth. A time of great joy.

A time of renewing, of remembering what was important.

She knew what was important, but could she trust herself? A tear slipped down her cheek and Haley brushed it away with the back of her hand. She looked hard into her heart and didn't like what she saw. God had given her something that not everyone got to experience in their lifetime, and she'd selfishly thrown it away and blamed her problems on everyone but herself. She'd tossed everything aside without seeking His guidance and will in her life. And still, with all of His infinite love, He'd brought her back to Mule Hollow and given her a second chance—

“Haley.”

At the sound of her name on Will's voice, she spun around. “Will.” Her heart and head began pounding out a duet.

“Haley, I have something to say.”

She took a step toward him, overwhelmed by the timing and the clarity that suddenly suffused her being. “I have something to say, too. I—where have you been?”

“Thinking. Praying. Coming to my senses.”

Haley took another quick step toward him. He looked so wonderful, obviously having dressed for the evening, though he had only just now shown up. “Me, too.”

“I know I promised to stay away from you. But I've come to tell you that I'm going to have to break my promise.”

Haley smiled. Her heart was about to bust out of her chest. He looked so serious. His brown eyes caught just a hint of the flames from the fire down the street. “You are?” she managed to say.

“Yes. I should have come for you before, when you ran. I shouldn't have let you go. Not without a fight. Even though I thought I wasn't what you wanted, I should have at least fought to keep you. No wonder you can't forgive me.”

“I do forgive you. But only if you can forgive me.”

“What?”

Haley laughed and closed the gap between them in one stride, the chains of the past falling away. “We both messed up. And I was just standing here, thinking about how God has given us another chance to have a life together and because I had some puny little grudge I was going to let you get away from me because I couldn't trust my feelings.”

Will frowned. “After the way I behaved that's understandable. But…” He reached out and cupped her face in his hands and looked deep into her eyes. “But, I make this promise to you here and now, I let you down once. I didn't put your wants and needs on the same level as mine and that will never happen again.”

“Will,” Haley murmured, reveling in the feel of his warm palms against her cheeks and the look of love in his eyes.

“I love you, Haley. I don't want to waste another moment without you.”

Haley knew it was true. They'd both made mistakes and that they would work them out. Later. But right now, there was only one thing she wanted. “Will,” she said again.

“What?” he asked, looking so serious that Haley couldn't help but smile.

“I love you, too,” she chuckled, then added, as the light brightened in his beautiful eyes, “now, could you put me out of my misery and kiss me please? I don't want to waste another minute.”

His eyes crinkled at the edges as a smile bloomed across his face and lifted into his eyes. “You don't have to ask me twice,” he murmured.

The low, husky sound of his words sent joy straight through Haley's heart and she knew as long as she lived, she would never take this love for granted again.

“I love you, Haley Bell,” Will said, then he lowered his lips to hers and kissed her as though he meant it.

And this time Haley believed him.