OtherSide Of Fear (Outside The Ropes #3) (40 page)

I let his story sink in and shaped my thoughts around it, wishing I hadn’t been so quick to accuse him. But I couldn’t stop being skeptical.

“What about Viktor, did you know he was with the FBI?”

“What?” He flinched back a little. “Viktor’s FBI? That’s not right. He’s some political lawyer or something, not FBI.”

I shook my head. “Anthony said he was head council of the task force.”

He sat back in the drivers seat and pulled out his phone, frowning at the screen. “I don’t know, but we’ll figure it out. There’s a lot we need to figure out right now. Let’s get home, okay?” He set his phone on the console and shifted the car to drive.

Text messages popped up on the screen from different numbers. He kept glancing to it, and so did I.

Tonight.

10

Subs

I grabbed his hand before he could pick up the phone. “What does it mean?”

Another text vibrated his phone, and I removed my hand to read it.

Only You

We both looked at each other then.

“It means, we need to come up with a new plan fucking quick.” He stepped on the gas, forcing the car back to our condo as fast as possible.

I SAT ON THE EDGE OF OUR bed, my thoughts weighing me down, unsure if I was feeling everything too much or nothing at all. Every inch of skin tingled with nerves running through me like a current, but my heart wasn’t present, knocked out and empty.

Gage pulled his shirt over his head and tossed it to our bedroom floor.

“We need to shower before we do anything. Come on.” His light eyes looked dark as he stretched his arm out to me. He was so close, I only had to lift my hand to place mine in his, but I didn’t move.

His chest rose and fell a few times as he waited on me, and he looked like the same dangerously sexy man I fell in love with. It made me breathless to think about the truth of that danger, and that I had wanted it. I had wanted him. We may be able to wash off the blood, but it would still be there.

“Regan,” his voice was low as he stepped towards me.

I pulled back, not from him but from any contact. Even the idea of water from a shower touching me was too much. I was struggling to hold it together, and the slightest touch would shatter that.

He jerked back, soft voice turned sharp. “You’re still mad at me? About him?”

I dropped my eyes to the floor. Him, Anthony. I wasn’t sure how I felt about him now. I wanted to be angry. It was easier than being sad. But I wasn’t sure who to be angry with. Probably Anthony himself.

“No,” I spoke without emotion and closed my eyes. “I’m just trying to think. Go get your shower.”

His sigh was heavy, but I didn’t dare look up and meet his gaze. I knew the weight of the look that went with that sound.

“I’m sorry.” His hands slipped to my waist, large but soft.

I opened my eyes, and the sight of him on his knees in front of me pulled my sadness forward. I wanted to run my hands through his hair, hold him to me, breathe him in, take comfort in just being with him, but that felt like a weakness, like avoiding. I needed to be strong and face whatever was coming next. I tried to stand and step away, but he tightened his grip. My heart slammed back to life and the force of the beating destroyed me, breaking me. All my strength drained as tears escaped me, flowing down my cheek.

“Stop.” He wrapped his arms around me, holding me in place. “Stop. I’m sorry about him. I’m sorry things are all fucked up, but now’s not the time to be angry with me or to pull away. Babe, we’re in this together.”

I wiped the tears on my cheek, trying to get a hold of myself, but he pulled my hands away and rose to sit next to me. His arms kept me pressed to him. “It’ll work out if we stick together. We’ll get through this.”

I sucked in a shaky breath, fighting down the tears he didn’t let me wipe away. “Do you think they know? Is that why they want to meet with you tonight?”

He had told me it was Viktor who wanted to meet with him. That Viktor always set up meetings last minute and in code. But usually he had an idea of why.

His grip relaxed since I had stopped struggling against him, but he kept me wrapped in his arms and dropped his head to rest on mine. “I don’t know.”

I couldn’t see his face, but the strain in his voice strangled me, and I pressed into his warm, bare chest.

“But damn, I don’t want you there tonight—”

“No.” I pulled back. I would have stood, but his hands still gripped me. “You can’t do that. You just said we would do this together. I can handle this.” I swiped at my cheeks, wiping away the tears that showed my weakness. “I don’t mean to cry right now, I’m getting it together. I can handle this. I—”

“Stop. Let me finish.” He pulled my hands down onto his lap, drawing me close at the same time. “Babe, there’s nothing wrong with your tears right now. It’s just us. This is when you can let it all out. It’s honest. That’s what I’m trying to be. Honest.” He dipped his head to capture my eyes, forcing me to look at him. Hear him.

But I didn’t want to hear that I couldn’t go tonight. I didn’t want him going there alone, facing the danger I put him in. This was all my plan, all my fault.

He lifted my chin so I’d look at him, and his thumb dragged over my slick cheek. “I don’t want you there tonight because I don’t know what to expect, and I want to keep you safe. But I don’t want to leave you behind either. Fuck, I always want to have a plan, and right now, I don’t have a fucking clue what to expect or what to plan for.” His other hand slid to the side of my face, fingers light on my skin, on my neck, my lips, in my hair. “Go ahead and cry, babe. I’ll be here for you. But I need you to be here for me. You’ve got me more scared than anything else.” His fingers slid into my hair, gripping me tighter as his words deepened. “I’m even fucking scared to step into that bathroom without you, scared that you’ll be gone when I get out.”

I stilled, his words shredded me, stunning me. “I’m not going anywhere.” I slid my hands over his arms, getting close while still keeping eye contact. “But I am coming with you tonight. There’s no way I’m letting you go by yourself.”

He nodded. “I’m trying to be honest with you, but it goes against everything in me to take you there tonight. If things go wrong…”

“It’s better that we’re together if things go wrong.”

He nodded and then leaned forward, placing a kiss on my lips. Too quick for me to respond to, but the warmth lingered there.

“You’ll come tonight. Now let’s get ready and shower.” He pulled me with him as he stood up.

On my feet, I tugged him back to face me. “I wouldn’t leave while you’re in the shower. I won’t run again.”

He dropped his eyes, making me unsure if he believed me. Then he stepped forward and kissed me again, arms circling my waist and pulling me to his chest. His lips were light as they moved to open mine, and his fingers lifted the bottom of my shirt. He broke away to slide my shirt over my head and tossed it to the floor.

“I know,” his voice was deep, sultry. “But I still want you in the there with me. You hold me together. I need you. I need this.” He stepped towards me again, taking what he wanted. His lips covered mine. His hands pulled me to him and traveled over my hips and waist.

I gave in and let him lift me off the ground, wrapping my arms and legs around him. Because I needed him too, especially on the edge of danger. We both needed the reassurance of each other. Of us.

We undressed each other, hands claiming every inch of skin, making the most of the time we had left. The only thing we were guaranteed, the only thing that was certain— this moment. In his arms, with his moans, his touch brought madness and sanity.

He turned on the shower but took me on the counter before we made it in. We were afire in the dark, and he burned away every doubt when he buried himself in me, sparking life into every cell. I struggled to meet each of his hard thrusts, but he kept me lifted to him, taking away my leverage to move myself. He owned me, my pleasure, my cries, they were all his. But he didn’t take, he gave. Each slam brought me higher and pulled me under until I was lost to myself. His lips clamped around my nipples, sucking till I couldn’t see, delirious with feeling.

He lifted me from the counter, his arms wrapping around me, pulling me to his skin slick with sweat and steam. The quick shift and new angle pushed me over, and I held myself to him, clenching, wrapping my arms around his back, lips attached to his shoulder, biting as I screamed my pleasure. My body exploded, a million little pieces that were all his. And he kept going as I crashed over and over. He leaned me back on the counter, the cold stone a shock to my skin but only adding to the sensations that had me tingling from head to toe and beyond. His lips joined mine as he bent over me, shaking with his own release. His hands pulled my shoulders to keep me tight on him as the waves of our pleasure calmed and receded, leaving us in a haze of heartbeats and gasps that swirled in the steam around us.

And this is what we were fighting for. Us. Because even in hell, we could find paradise with each other.

The umbrella over our heads couldn’t keep us dry. The air was chilled and wet, the rain an icy mist. But I still preferred to stand in the cold than get into the limo that pulled up to the curb.

Gage ushered me in before closing the umbrella behind us.

I paused as I slid in. Cherry was the first thing I saw. She was sitting on the seat opposite me, against the divider separating us from the driver, and she smiled like a snake. I welcomed the burn of anger that rose in my chest, it gave me strength.

I assumed the suit clad man next to her was Viktor. He was older, dark hair streaked with silver at the temple, but something about the way he held himself showed strength or maybe that was power.

Gage confirmed my thoughts by greeting him with a nod as he slid next to me.

“Viktor.” Gage smoothed his own suit jacket, looking every bit the force that Viktor did, wet or not. His hand went to my leg. “This is Regan.” His eyes flicked to Cherry and then back to Viktor. “What’s going on, I thought it was just going to be us?”

My stomach tightened as the street passed us by. I was unsure where we were going and feared what may be waiting for us.

“I didn’t say that. I told you to come alone, but if you want her involved then I’ll trust your judgment.” He didn’t even glance towards me, his dark eyes stayed focused on Gage. “For now the girls can stay. I have a business need that you and Katya could help with.”

”The club.” Gage stated matter-of-fact and his hand stayed on my knee, unmoving.

“Exactly. The Dollhouse isn’t operational for us anymore. We need something new, somewhere new. This is a good opportunity to expand. I want you to open a new club in Miami.”

“What about Ian?” I could feel the tension running through Gage, in his fingers grip on my knee as he spoke.

“It’s unfortunate, but someone had to take the fall.”

“Better him than you?” It was almost a growl.

Viktor’s laugh was short and fake. “You mean you. Remember that could have been you, you turned over the club just in time. Who do you have to thank for that?”

“So you knew the bust was coming?”

Viktor cleared his throat and sat up, his cool control shifting to an icy anger. “Not exactly. I wouldn’t sacrifice any of my men directly, but you and I both knew there was an investigation closing in. So don’t blame me for your mans shortsightedness.” He picked up a drink at his side and finished the clear liquid in it before looking towards Cherry. “At least Katya had enough sense to protect our connections, and she protected evidence.”

“So you want Cherry to run the club?” Gage’s eyes slid to her and her red lips spread into a teeth-baring smile.

“I want her to assist you at running the club.”

“I can manage the girls.” She leaned forward and crossed her legs in a slow way that looked more like a show for us. For Gage. “He’s talking about a big club, more volume than the dollhouse, more girls, more everything. You’ll need help. And Mr. Kabinov,” she smiled at Viktor, and as we passed under a streetlight, I saw the bruise on her cheek that I gave her that she’d tried to cover with makeup, “He knows I’m good at managing them. It’s not an option. I’m part of the deal.”

“I know you two are effective when you work together. I need people I can trust to start this.” He focused on Gage.

My heart sped up at what could have been a compliment or a challenge. We were still in the city. The limo took turns, but the buildings around us were brightly lit and people walked the rainy sidewalks. We were safe enough, for now.

“So this isn’t just an idea, you’ve been planning? Do you have a place in mind already?” Gage asked, his fingers tightening on my leg slightly.

The small touch was reassuring. I knew our plan; go along with everything until we could put our own plan in place. After Dexter was paid off. After this last shipment. Next weekend, we would be out.

“I have a few choices. You can have the final say. I did promise you your own club, didn’t I? This is your chance, just not in this city.”

“What’s the timeline?” Gage leaned back in his seat, relaxed in the conversation.

“As soon as we can manage. The sooner the better. We need to recoup our losses from the bust and the girls.” His eyes went from dark to black pools as he leaned towards Gage. “I know you have an arrangement with the Rusnaks right now, so it’ll have to be after that.” He tilted his head, hissing in a breath and snapping his fingers like an idea just struck him. “I need to discuss that with you further.” He pressed a call button on the panel at his side. “Sid, pull off at the deli on the corner.”

The car immediately began to slow and pulled off to a curb.

Viktor turned back to Gage, continuing, “The girls can go in and get food, I need to talk to you. It’ll only be a minute.”

“Katya, order me the vareniki.” He held her hand, helping her to climb to the limo door that was now held open by the driver.

She said something to him I didn’t understand, and then took her time stepping out of the car.