Our Love (44 page)
When Dr. Carter walked in with my father, he looked at me with a smile.
"Welcome back to civilization, Mr. Collier. You gave us quite a scare."
"Hi doctor," I said slowly.
"Can you recall anything from last night? Anything that occurred before or after the accident?"
I looked over at Dr. Carter and sighed.
"The only thing I remember was the accident. I don't even remember how I got to the hospital."
"That much I expected. Why don't we take a look at you? We also will have to run some more tests to see if everything is well with your spine and your brain activity."
I slowly moved my head over to the small window on the door and noticed Charlie was standing by the door with tears streaming down her face. I gave her a longing look before turning away. I knew Charlie, along with Chris, helped me out of the limo, and I appreciated her doing it, but I didn't know if I could face her like this. While Dr. Carter was examining my legs, he did come to the conclusion that the impact from the accident resulted in the loss of feeling in my legs, which meant I might not be able to walk again.
"Doctor, is there a possibility that I could walk again if I undergo surgery?" I optimistically asked.
"Michael, I know hearing this is tremendous because you are the star player at Belmont High..."
"Wondering if I can walk again is not because I want to play football Dr. Carter; I could care less about sports. I just want to know, will I be able to walk with my son again."
Dr. Carter gave me a reassuring look before speaking.
"I understand. It's hard to determine right now because no X-rays have been made, but from the examination, it is a possibility that you may not be able to walk again."
The thought of not walking again was truly a blow to me. I never thought in my life that I would not be able to do the things that I liked to do anymore. My dad looked at me and put a hand on my shoulder.
"Michael, just because I say that does not mean it is automatic. With surgery or even physical therapy, you may have a chance to walk. Even if it turns out true, there are still alternatives for you to continue your life, such as prostate legs. Just keep everything in perspective."
While Dr. Carter was talking, the only thing that I could hear was the fact that I might not be able to walk again. I didn't know if I could handle the idea of not walking. How would my son react to me not able to play with him or run with him? Worse, how could I live with myself when I knew this whole incident could have been prevented if I hadn't been so careless.
When Dr. Carter excused himself out of the room, my father started to talk in a positive light.
"Son, I want you to know that whatever happens to you, I will be here for you."
"Thanks Dad, but how do I know that this is not another broken promise? You tell me one thing and do another. I really want to believe you, but how can I?"
"You can, Michael. I'm trying to be the father that I should have been for you. Just give me a chance to do it."
I looked at my father and I could tell he was sincere, but I didn't know if I could believe him.
"Let's just get through the day," I said in a soft tone.
My dad nodded his head in agreement. "I know you want to get some rest, so I'll let you get to it.
An image of Charlie came into my mind as my father started to walk out.
"Dad, can you do me one favor?""Sure. Name it."
"Could you bring Charlie in? I need to talk to her."
My dad smiled as he went to the door. I watched as my father went over to Charlie and mouthed some words to her. She smiled and started to walk inside. When I saw Charlie walk in, the memory of the first day we met flashed through me as she came over to the bed.
"Hey stranger," Charlie said softly.
"Hey yourself,"
"From the looks of it, you remember some things."
"My memory is not the issue, although Dr. Carter did mention some memory loss."
"I know about your legs Michael. I'm so sorry."
"That's life, right? The doctor said not to rule out the possibility of me walking again. I will leave this hospital on my own feet."
Charlie smile at my confidence. I wished I could believe that though.
"I know you will. I have faith in you."
"Charlie, the reason I wanted to talk to you is because I feel I need to explain myself about what happened last night."
"Michael, you don't need to do that."
"Yes, I do. I need to apologize for my behavior. If I had just listened to you about you being friends with Derrick, then none of this would had happened. I should have put my pride to the side and heard you out before I went off like I did."
"Michael, let's just keep what happened last night in the past. There's no point in reliving it."
"Maybe not for you, but for me it is. I don't know if I can live with myself knowing that I almost killed you and my best friend."
"You were going through a lot in your life that no one really knew about..."
"Yeah and it almost cost all our lives. Charlie, so much has happened in the past few months and that sent me over the edge. I didn't know how to handle it, so I figured drinking was the only solution to my problems. Even before I woke up today, I knew I needed to change my life. And I'm sorry Charlie, but I don't think you would be able to help me with that."
I felt a dagger going straight through my heart as I looked at Charlie. The expression she had on her face was filled with sadness and anger that I had created. I didn't want to hurt her again, but it was the only way to get my point across.
"Why, Michael? Why don't you want me in your life, when you need the people who you love the most to stand by you?"
"I need to do this on my own. I need to know who I am before I can fully commit to you. If I don't try and put my life back together, it could destroy me and you, and I don't want that."
"Who said that you would destroy me? You could never do that."
"I almost did, Charlie!"
"Is there another reason why you don't want me in your life right now? Is it because of Danielle?"
"Why would you think that? Danielle and I are over."
"I don't know, she was the only one who was able to get information about you and she was always here."
"Because she was concerned about me, just like you and Chris are. Char, I'm not doing this because of Danielle or any other girl. I'm doing it for myself so I can still be around for my son."
Charlie sighed as she got up from her seat.
"Even though I don't like this, I have to respect your decision and support you," she said as she started to walk to the door.
"Charlie, please understand why I'm doing this."
Charlie turned around and looked straight at me with hurt in her eyes. The cold look she was giving me only made me think that it really was the end between us.
"I never thought that I would find someone like you in this world. You had everything that I would want in a guy. To be honest, I didn't think that you were like every other guy out there that would hurt someone, and silly me, I let myself believe that you wouldn't, but turns out you did."
"Charlie, I'm not trying to hurt you. I need you to understand that I can't have anyone in my life right now. I don't know what's in store for me, and I don't need you to be punished or feel obligated to be with me because of it. Instead, I want you to live your life the way you should. I want you to be able to go to college and have a normal and happy life. That won't happen if you have to take care of me every day. I just need time before we can be together again. Please, don't make this the end of us Charlie."
Charlie opened the door with a heavy force and stepped into the corridor.
"I didn't make this the end, Michael. You did that yourself," she said in a tone that I didn't recognize from her.
I never would have thought that Charlie could be so cold and heartless. I thought she would understand my decision and support me. I guess I was wrong. It proves my theory that you think you know someone, but all along you never did. After that confrontation in the hospital room, that was the last I would see of Charlie.
It's been six months since that horrible confrontation with Michael. Although it has been that long, and now I'm at Cougar Village at University of Houston getting ready for a full day of classes starting with freshman English, that day in Michael's hospital room still haunts me. It took me awhile to realize what Michael meant about me not wanting to be in his life. It wasn't because he didn't want to, it was because he felt he had to protect me from himself. Maybe I always knew that, but didn't want to face the truth. Maybe I felt I had to help him regain his life to make myself feel better. Or maybe I felt that I was the one who helped him save himself before, and I thought I could save him again. Whenever the reason for what I was feeling that day would always be in the back of my mind, no matter what I'm doing.
A week after prom was graduation, which was sort of bittersweet since Michael was not in attendance. Deborah Ratcliff was salutatorian and decided to dedicate her speech to Michael, who was the valedictorian. When I walked across the stage at Williamson Auditorium, I felt a sense of pride that I finally accomplished one of my life goals. Even though I saw my parents, Eva, and Ashley in the crowd, I still felt empty inside. Something was missing that not even my high school diploma could fill. There was a hole in my heart because Michael wasn't a part of my life anymore.
With graduation over, it was time to move on into the real world. I lived up my promise to my parents and got a job working at Forever 21 in the mall. It was pretty cool to work in a clothing store. Not only because I had a killer discount, but I was also able to determine my major, which was Fashion Merchandising. I always had a passion for clothing but never wanted to do any designing, so merchandising was the next best thing.
Throughout the summer, everything changed for everyone in my life. Since the accident, Chris and Ashley have been inseparable, which meant I never saw my best friend anymore. But it was fine because I was happy for Ashley. Two weeks later on Ashley's birthday, Chris threw her a surprise party at Pappadeaux, a popular seafood restaurant in the area. Turned out the party was not the only thing Chris had on his agenda. That same night he proposed to Ashley in front of her friends and family. She accepted his proposal and the two set a date for next year. Eva and I were in tears when Ashley accepted Chris's proposal. We never suspected that one of us would be getting married straight out of high school; but Chris was a great guy for Ashley and I was glad that those two found happiness with each other. Now the two are at Rice University, Chris on a football scholarship hoping to go to the pros, while Ashley is majoring in Communications. She even decided to try out for cheerleading later in the semester.
Eva decided to test her luck out at Texas Southern University majoring in Education. I knew Eva would make a great teacher since she loves kids. We tried to see each other on a regular basis, but it was kind of hard with our busy schedules.
I even kept in contact with Derrick, who was at the college of his dreams, Texas A&M, on a full football scholarship. During one of our numerous conversations, he mentioned that when he walked into his World History class, he noticed a familiar face, which was Danielle. He told me that the two started to become friends because of class but later started to become more. Now he said they were having fun and were happy together. I would have never thought those two would hook up, but I guess anything is possible. Derrick finally came clean with me about the plot he and Danielle had about breaking Michael and I up. I was a little upset with him at first, but I realized that Michael and I were not together anymore, so it doesn't really matter about the past.
Although it was good to hear from everyone and the happiness they had in their lives, I still didn't hear from the person that mattered so much to me. I really wished that I could have stayed by Michael's side and understood what he was trying to do, instead of being selfish and push him away. He needed space for a reason, and I couldn't accept that.
Michael would always have a place in my heart but there is someone that helped me ease the void that I'd been trying to fill. One day while working, a guy walked in with his mother and sister. While the two were busily looking at clothes, the guy was busy checking me out. I was looking at him a little, but I didn't know if I wanted to date again, let alone get into another relationship. Not only was he tall, dark, and handsome, but he had a body that was ripped and the most perfect smile I had ever seen.
After the sister made her purchase, the three left and I helped the next customer. A few minutes later, the guy walked back into the store, introduced himself, and asked for my number. While my co-workers were telling me to go for it, I looked nervously at the guy wondering what I should do. How could I even think about dating someone when my heart was with another guy? I didn't know if I wanted to go down that road again, so I decided not to give him my number. But after a convincing plea from the fine guy standing in front of me, I decided to give him my number. His name is Patrick, he's eighteen, and also a freshman at University of Houston.
After several attempts of asking me out, I finally accepted his invitation to dinner and a movie. The date was the best decision I could have made because I met a great guy that not only was drama free, but was also fun to be around. He helped me get through my struggles with Michael and to stop feeling guilty for not waiting for him. Patrick was even considerate of my feelings of not getting into a relationship and just being friends, which was a plus because he also got out of a relationship not too long ago.
Even though we were friends, I still introduced Patrick to my parents. My mom fell in love with him instantly, while my father just gave him a look like he always does whenever a boy is around. I don't know if my mom is more happy with the fact that I'm dating someone else now and not thinking about Michael, or because she felt that I came "back home." I do feel a little more comfortable now walking in public places without people staring. Actually, it just feels weird because to be honest I think I got used to it.