Our Song (19 page)

Chapter 32

“Right after I first agreed to work with you, Jimmy called me. He told me he needed to talk to me in private—without you—and that I couldn’t discuss any of the details with you, not under
any
circumstances,” Colton began. He darted his eyes away from mine, and there was a look of guilt behind them. “At the time, you and I weren’t as close as we’ve gotten to be, so I didn’t think anything of it.”

“Okay,” I breathed, afraid to hear what he was going to say next.

“If I knew now what I knew then, I never would have kept all of this a secret from you,” he explained, taking a deep breath. He shot an apologetic look in my direction. “It was wrong of me in every way imaginable, but Jimmy made an offer that was really hard for me to refuse. All I had to do was go along with what he wanted.”

“Okay, just get to the point of the story.” I was beginning to grow frustrated with him. He needed to just get it out already.

“He wanted to paint the image that you and I were in a relationship.” Colton darted his eyes away from mine.  

“Why would he want to do
that
?”

“He thought it would help us sell your album better, and he didn’t think you’d agree to it. He said you were stubborn about stuff, so he felt like he needed to go behind your back,” he explained. “The plan was for me to let him know when we were together so he could arrange for the Paparazzi to follow us. But I felt bad about it right away. It may sound lame, but I thought about how my dad would feel. I didn’t think he would be proud of me. So I told Jimmy I didn’t want to do it anymore, that I couldn’t go through with it.”

“Are you sure about that? Because the way it looks from where I’m standing is you’re here with me right now because Jimmy wanted you to be,” I said through gritted teeth. My stomach hurt and my heart ached at the mere thought that nothing Colton and I had was real, that it’d been an act this entire time, just a ploy to sell more albums.

“I know that’s how it must seem, but I promise you, it’s not the way it is,” he insisted. “I was supposed to fake a relationship with you in the beginning, but… I couldn’t. The more I got to know you, the clearer that became to me.” Taking a few steps closer to me, he cradled my face in his hands. “The more I got to know you, the more I realized that I wanted to be with you
for real
. I fell in love with you, Viola.”

I pulled away from him, swallowing and trying to fight back the tears that had risen to my eyes. “Why should I believe you? When you’ve kept all of this from me this entire time, why should I believe you now?”

“Because I have no reason to lie. By telling you the truth, I risk losing you. There’s nothing to gain,” Colton said quietly. “And that’s the whole reason I wouldn’t kiss you that night when we were out celebrating with Jimmy. I didn’t want him to know the truth—that we were really a thing. I don’t care if we make our relationship public, but it’s none of his damn business what we have with each other.”

He sounded angry now, but my mind drifted back to that radio interview we had with DeSean when we first started writing together. It wouldn’t have been the first time he’d lied with ease. Colton King was a damn good actor.

“You said Jimmy made you an offer you couldn’t refuse. What was it?” I questioned.

“He was going to tack an extra twenty million onto the deal for my next album,” Colton explained.

I swallowed hard. $20 million was a
lot
of money, but was it worth him keeping secrets from me for this long?

“When I told him I couldn’t do it, he obviously recanted his offer,” he added. “He was pretty fucking pissed, actually. There was even some name calling involved. But then he invited us to celebrate the success of the first song… Shit, I just realized something.” His eyes fell on mine. “Jimmy must be the one who leaked the song. And then he invited us out to celebrate to make it seem like he was trying to make nice with me again, but clearly he had other plans in mind. I never would have thought he’d go to the extent of planting a camera in a hotel room to get naked pictures of us together, but I just
know
he’s responsible for this.”  

“Shit. We should take him to court. We can’t let him get away with this!” My anger at Colton was suddenly replaced with my anger for that asshole of a music producer. Did he really think that just because he was insanely famous and successful he could just post nude pictures of us together on the Internet and get away with it? He hadn’t even
asked
me if I would’ve been willing to pretend I was dating Colton from the get-go. If he’d just asked, maybe I would’ve…

No, I had to be honest with myself. Jimmy was right. There was no way in hell I would’ve ever agreed to this early on.  

“Come on, Vi. This is Jimmy Jones. He’s not a dumbass. He wouldn’t leave behind a trail of evidence. It would just be our word against his.” He paused. “I guarantee if you look at the security footage, you won’t find anything to prove that he’s the one who set up the camera. He probably had someone else do his dirty work.”

“You’re probably right,” I murmured. “I can’t believe you
knew
about this the whole time and you never said a single word about it to me. I get it in the beginning, but I’m your girlfriend now, Colton.” At least, I
was
his girlfriend. I was no longer sure.

“I’m sorry. I wanted to tell you… I really did. But every time I thought about bringing it up, I just worried you would hate me for it,” he explained. “And I really believed I had the situation under control. I never would have thought it would turn out like
this
.”

“Yeah, well, it
did
turn out like this. You’re the one who told me how damaging the wrong photos could be to someone’s career.” I swallowed hard. Was all of this Jimmy’s way of getting revenge on Colton for not agreeing to what he’d wanted to do? I couldn’t imagine any other reason why he would’ve done this.

The whole point of us working together suddenly seemed senseless. What was the point in all of the work we’d done together when there was a good chance no one was ever going to buy
any
of my albums now? I’d wanted to be a good influence on young girls; I didn’t want to encourage them to plaster nude pictures of themselves all over the freaking Internet.

Speaking of attention, I wondered what those girls in the dressing room at Ambrosia’s would’ve had to say about me
now
. If they thought I was an attention-seeking whore before, I could only imagine what their opinion would’ve been of me after they saw the pictures.  

“We can fix this,” Colton insisted, locking eyes with mine. “I
know
we can. Our PR teams can come up with something. And we can try to get all of the pictures removed.”

The tears began to fall from my eyes for the first time—oddly, a little late, but I supposed that I must’ve been in too much shock to cry before. “It’s too late to get them removed. They’re already out there for everyone to see.” I swallowed hard, glancing up at him. “I can’t believe you
did
this.”

He inched closer to me and placed a hand over mine. “We’re going to get through this together, Viola. You know that, right?”

“I don’t know what to think right now,” I said, pulling my hand away. “I thought I was in love with you, but… I can’t even look at you after knowing you were keeping this secret from me all this time.” I wiped away a tear as it skirted its way down my cheek.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I’m so sorry, baby.”

I didn’t say anything in response, but all I could seem to think was that if he’d been able to keep a secret this huge from me, after everything we’d been through and after how much I’d opened up to him, I couldn’t help but wonder what
else
he was keeping from me.

I thought I’d been getting to know Colton King, but suddenly, that no longer seemed like the case. The guy who sat in the bed next to me, the guy who I was beginning to fall in love with, was nothing more than a stranger to me.  

Meeting his eyes, I whispered, “Sorry isn’t enough. I just need to be alone right now. I need you to leave.”

“But we need to talk about this,” he insisted. “The problem isn’t just gonna go away.”

“I can’t talk to you about this right now. I need time. Please leave,” I said again.

Climbing out of bed, he grabbed his clothes, which were in a pile on the floor. As he pulled them on, I glanced away from him, suddenly feeling as though watching him get dressed was an invasion of his privacy. I didn’t watch strangers get dressed and that was exactly what he was to me: a stranger.

As he headed out of the room, I followed a few steps behind him. I watched him until he walked to the front door and opened it. He glanced over his shoulder and shot me a long, hard stare.

“I’m sorry, Viola. I never meant for this to happen. I swear.” Colton’s blue eyes pleaded with mine, urging me to forgive him.

But I couldn’t. Not that easily…not yet and maybe never. I didn’t say a word as I watched him step out into the hallway and close the door behind him.

I threw myself onto the couch, realizing that my cell phone, which I was still holding in my hand, was buzzing with incoming text messages. I glanced down at the caller ID. Two of the messages were from Mads, and four of them were from Natalie. I imagined the press was probably having a field day with those pictures. I didn’t even want to turn on the TV, because I was sure they would be plastered all over the news.  

Sighing, I powered my cell phone off completely. I didn’t feel like dealing with Mads, Natalie, or anyone else, for that matter. I just wanted to be left alone.

The only person who would’ve been able to make me feel better right now was at the top of my shit list.

Chapter 33

I was still reeling from what Colton had just told me when there was a knock at the door.

Ugh. What part of, “I need time,” hadn’t he understood?!

I decided to ignore him. He needed to respect my space. I wasn’t ready to see him yet. In fact, I wasn’t sure if I would
ever
be ready to see him again. Could I ever look into those blue eyes again and see the same person I’d seen the night before? Could I ever kiss him again without feeling sick to my stomach? I didn’t even know.  

There was more knocking at the door, this time louder and more insistent. It was clear he wasn’t going to give up any time soon.

With a groan, I peeled myself off the couch.

“I don’t want to talk to you,” I said quietly once I was standing on the other side of the door, my body pressed against it. As I imagined Colton standing on the other side listening to me, I fought back the tears that had begun to resurface.   

“Viola, please… just let me explain.”

I immediately recognized the voice, which didn’t belong to Colton.

“What the hell,” I muttered under my breath. For a moment, I wondered if this was real life or if I was somehow stuck in the world’s worst nightmare. I pinched myself on the wrist just to make sure.

It definitely wasn’t a dream. I was wide awake and apparently about to ride the rollercoaster called life for the second time today. I already felt like I was going to puke.

When I pulled the door open, Jake was standing on the other side. He held a bouquet of red roses in one hand. His dark eyes looked on mine. “I need to talk to you.”

“What could there possibly be for us to talk about?” I demanded, knowing my tone probably sounded slightly snappier than I’d intended for it to, but come on. This was one of the worst days of my life so far; the only day that was worse was the day my mom died.

“Just let me explain, okay? Can I come inside?” There was a pleading tone in his voice.

I hesitated for a moment and then opened the door a little wider, allowing him to enter the room. He handed me the flowers. I laid them down on the kitchen table. I would decide later if I wanted to put them in a vase or not. Depending on how this conversation went, there was a good chance I’d want to throw them in the garbage if he was the same douchebag he usually was.

I led him into the living room, well aware of what it must’ve looked like to him. The place was a mess, a pizza box still lying open on the coffee table from the night before. He probably thought I was a slob, but I really didn’t give two shits about what he thought. If he wanted my apartment to be picture perfect, he shouldn’t have shown up unannounced.

Motioning for him to sit down on the sofa, I took a seat across from him. Call me rude, but I wasn’t about to offer him a drink or anything—and it wasn’t even because I didn’t feel he deserved it (which, after everything he’d put me through, he totally
didn’t
, in my opinion). But the real reason I forgot about my good hostess skills was because all I could do was wonder what the fuck he was doing here.   

Jake took a deep breath and then his eyes fell on mine. “The reason I’m here is because I needed to tell you I made a mistake.”

“A mistake?” I inhaled sharply, anxious to hear what he was going to say next. I didn’t know what I’d expected him to say, but admitting that he was wrong, that he’d made a mistake, never would’ve been my guess.

“I never should have ended things with you, Viola. I loved you so much. Actually, why am I talking in past tense? I
still
love you. And I know you love me, too… or, at least, you
did
.” He paused for a moment, probably waiting for me to let him know if I still loved him or not.

I remained silent.

“I listened to the songs you wrote about me… every one of them. They were amazing, baby. Seriously.”

I resisted the urge to tell him I was no longer his ‘baby’. The only reason I didn’t say it was because I wanted to see where he was going with this whole thing, exactly. I was afraid that interrupting would make him go in a different direction.

Instead, I decided to ask the one question that had plagued my mind for months. “If you loved me, then why did you just leave me without any explanation?”

“I knew you were going to ask me that,” he murmured, not moving his eyes away from mine. “The only reason I let you go is because I was so afraid of committing. It’s the reason I didn’t come back to you…until now.”

He paused for a moment and when I didn’t say anything in response, he continued. “It’s just that we’re both so young, and I was just… afraid.” He held my gaze, his dark eyes sparkling in the dim lighting. “I know it took me longer than it should have to overcome my fears, but… I hope I didn’t wait too long. I hope we can still work things out.”

My stomach clenched, and I exhaled sharply. This was
not
what I’d been expecting him to say—not at all. I figured he must’ve come here to congratulate me on my newfound success or even to call me a whore for the pictures that had been released, maybe, but… I hadn’t been expecting him to want to work things out with me. I figured that ship had sailed far, far off into the seven seas months ago.  

“What about Alyssa?” I finally asked, wondering how she fit into this whole equation.

“I ended it with her. It was never anything serious. Not the way it was with you.” He sighed. “I’m sorry, Viola. And I’ll do
anything
to prove just how sorry I am if you just give me the chance. Will you take me back?”

“I-I don’t know,” I replied honestly. Never in a million years would I have ever thought I’d even
consider
taking him back. Once I moved on, it was usually for good. But then I hadn’t expected to be where I was today when just yesterday, I was convinced I’d known who my soul mate was. What if there was a reason the Colton bomb had been dropped today, the
same
day Jake had shown up to try to win me back? What if it was fate’s cruel way of trying to intervene?

Besides, Colton had turned out to be a completely different person from who I thought he was. If he could become a total stranger in my eyes overnight, that had to mean Jake could change in a positive way over months’ time… didn’t it?  

I didn’t know. The only thing I knew was that I didn’t know
anything.

“Please?” Jake pleaded, shooting me a puppy dog look. It was the strangest thing; that puppy dog look used to be my biggest weakness when it came to him, but… it just didn’t have that same effect on me anymore.    

“It’s just a lot for me to take in right now. I need some time to think about it.”

“Okay. I understand.” He rose to his feet. “You still have my phone number, don’t you?”

“Yeah, I think so. If not, I can have Natalie get it for me,” I replied as I led him to the front door.

“Okay.” He stood there hesitantly for a moment before bringing his lips down on mine. While his lips felt old and familiar to me, they were fueled by a newfound passion, unlike anything I’d ever felt from him before.

When he finally pulled away from me, he said, “I hope to hear from you soon… no matter what you decide.”

“You will,” I promised with a nod.

Once he’d stepped out into the hallway, I closed the door and leaned against it. A thousand thoughts ran through my mind. His kiss had completely thrown me off guard. It had been… well, nice. But at the same time, kissing Jake was nothing like kissing Colton.

Then again, I wasn’t sure if kissing
anyone
could ever compare to kissing Colton. Kissing him was just…perfect. There was really no other way to put it. Not that it really mattered; there was a good chance that I’d never kiss him again.

Ugh. Was this
really
my life?