Our Totally, Ridiculous, Made-Up Christmas Relationship (17 page)

As we sit on the living room floor in front of the roaring fire, Olivia shows me her favorite Barbie dolls and all of the accessories. When I say all, I mean all; there are at least fifty pieces of plastic clothing on the floor. Tossing some more pink clothes on the pinked-out doll, I start playing with her, walking her across the floor. “I’m Barbie, and I’m sooo pretty!”

Olivia giggles and tries to grab the doll, but I keep pulling it away from her, making her break out into a fit of giggles. She’s ridiculously adorable, and she reminds me of how much I miss Hailey and should make more time to hang out with my crazy little cousin.

“Give me that!” she shouts, placing her hands on her hips with extreme attitude, and I catch a glimpse of her mother in her. She arches an eyebrow, and I can’t help but laugh at her sassiness.

“I’m a Barbie and I’m awesome! I can’t wait to give Ken a big kiss!” Picking up the Ken doll, I make the dolls embrace and Olivia falls to the ground in an overreacting matter, grabbing her stomach and falling victim to an invisible tickle monster. “Muah! Muah!”

She snatches a Barbie from me and smiles. “This is alien Barbie. She looks like me!” She holds the doll up to her face and smiles.

My heart stops beating and all I want to do is wrap this little girl in my arms and tell her she’s wrong. “You’re not an alien, Olivia. But you are beautiful, just like the Barbie.”

She shakes her head back and forth. “Daddy says I look like an alien. I’m gonna be famous, he said.”

“Well, between you and me, your daddy is a fart-face-people-hating weirdo.” I start attacking her with tickles and she loses it into another giggling fit. “Besides, Ken loves you!” I scream, kissing her with the Ken doll.

“Oh my gosh. I was afraid this would happen. My family is driving you loony.” Jules laughs, walking over to Olivia and me. She lifts up her niece and becomes the tickle monster in the flesh. “Is he playing with your Barbies?! I thought only you and I played with these Barbies, kiddo?” She squeezes Olivia and covers her in kisses. When she stills her niece, their blue eyes meet. “You want to know a secret?”

“Secrets, secrets!” Olivia screams, jumping up and down. Watching Jules interact with the young girl makes me lust after her that much more. It’s nothing less than adorable.

“There is a
BIG
plate of chocolate chip cookies on the counter in the kitchen and
NO ONE
is in there right now.” Jules takes her finger and taps Olivia’s nose. “And I bet no one would even know if one or two were missing.”

Olivia dashes off, leaving Jules and me sitting in front of the fireplace. Jules relaxes onto the floor, smiling toward the running toddler. “There are a lot of things I regret with Danny and Lisa, but that little girl? She kind of makes it worthwhile.”

“How did your talk go with your dad?” I ask, hoping that it’s at least a start to better communication. Her cheeks turn red and she grabs the Barbie from my hand, leaving me with Ken.

“It was good. Dad actually passed my name on to someone in LA about auditioning for a movie next month.”

“Is that good?”

The way her smile grows and her dimples deepen, I know it’s good. “I should never have given up. I shouldn’t have given Danny and Lisa the power to stop me from chasing my dreams. Dad said you had a big part to play in this, too,” she says leaning in toward me, making the dolls kiss one another, “Thank you.” Her eyes shift to the ceiling and a beautiful sigh leaves her lips. “Oh no. That damn invisible mistletoe is back.”

I look up, shaking my head at the nothingness above our heads—which somehow stands for everything. I reach for her arms and pull her into my lap, leaving her no other choice than to wrap her legs around me.

“Merry Christmas, Kayden,” Jules whispers before pulling her lips to mine and kissing me gently. Her lips are softer than I remember, and I cherish the short time they spend against mine.

“I don’t want your money,” I say as she pulls an inch away from me. I can still taste her on my lips, and I can’t imagine losing that feeling after these few days. “I don’t want this to be fake anymore. After we leave here and go back to Chicago, I want to take you out. I want to get to know you, and I want to slowly fall for you, taking in every detail of our adventures together. What I don’t want is for you to fall for me right away. I want you to make me work for it, work for you because you need to be chased after, longed for, desired. I really want to date you, Jules Stone, so fucking badly.”

Her eyes move to the ground and she looks sad—sadder than I’ve ever seen her look. Something’s happening in her mind, and it’s hurting her. “I want to date you, Kayden. I’m just not ready yet.”

I nod, completely understanding. “Right, too soon.” I bite the corner of my mouth and narrow my eyes. “What about now?”

She laughs a true Jules laugh and I feel my heart grow in size. After we leave here, I’m going to take time to figure out who I am, what I want to be.

And then I’m going to take this girl dancing.

A few hours have passed, and we move on to the tree decorating festivities, and I can tell Jules is trying her best not to appear hurt about the Danny and Lisa situation, but I see right through her.

“I’m not jealous.” She peeks her head into the other room where Lisa, Danny, and Olivia are standing by their Christmas tree. Danny and Lisa are standing next to each other, looking at messages on a phone, and Olivia is getting tangled-up in tinsel. “I just sometimes think it could have been me. We could have been the happily ever after.”

“You’re overthinking things. Shake it off.” I kiss her forehead and go back to lacing the lights around the tree.

“But don’t you ever think about how things would be? If you and Penny were still…” Her words fade off and she squeezes her eyes shut. “It’s nothing like that. I’m stupid. I’m sorry.”

I don’t reply, because I do think about it all the time—what life would have been like if Penny were still here. But all I can think is it would’ve still been hard, a struggle, a lifetime of trying to fit together when we were never meant to be in the same puzzle.

When I see Jules standing on her tiptoes, reaching to hang up a decoration, I sigh, thinking of how it could be with us. I also think about all the moments that Jules hasn’t been the most important person in the room, how she has always been overlooked, and I want to give her that moment, to shine.

“Hey, can I give you your fake Christmas gift now?” I ask Jules, and I see her eyes twinkle with curiosity. Clearing my throat, I call everyone from the other rooms and Jules looks at me confused. I ignore her confusion, and everyone wanders into the living room and takes a seat.

“I just want to say thank you for inviting me into your lives, into your home. I’ve felt nothing but welcome, and I appreciate it. As you all know, Jules is stunning. She’s beautiful inside and out. She’s gentle, she’s silly, and if she allows me…” I turn to Jules, taking her hand in mine and getting down on one knee. “If you allow me, Jules, I would be honored if you permitted me to love you for the next one hundred years. You make me unafraid of my past and so certain of my future.” Reaching into my pocket, I pull out my grandmother’s engagement ring. “Will you marry me?”

Tears fall from her eyes, and she covers her mouth with her hands. I know this is supposed to be an act, but it feels frighteningly real. In a good way, too. Her confused eyes lock with mine and she mouths, ‘Really?’ and I nod.

“Of course! Oh my gosh, yes!” she screams, and I leap off the ground, wrapping my arms around her. She kisses me, and I lose myself against her. Everything feels perfect. Everything is right. Up until we pull away and hear a cold silence in the room.

Turning toward everyone, I look to see their eyes staring at a cell phone—Jules cell phone.

“Jules,” her mother whispers, looking up to us. “Richard just called twice. And he left you a message apologizing for breaking up with you the way he did. He also said he would pick up his game systems after the New Year.”

The sudden shift of energy is ugly, and it happens so fast that I now feel like I’m falling. I’m falling into a pit of lies, and Jules is right there beside me.

“You
WHAT
?!” Dad hollers, and I feel all eyes giving me looks of disappointment, their judgmental gazes on me. Everyone’s shouting, everyone has an opinion, and I feel like disappearing through the front window. “Jules, are you crazy?! He could have been a murderer! You clearly lost your mind!”

“You don’t understand!” I cry, but he’s right. I wasn’t thinking. I wasn’t making any sense. I can hardly see Dad through my tears, and all I see is Mom tossing her hands around in annoyance.

“I can’t believe you would do something so stupid! How could you be so freaking stupid!”

“Hey, come on. She was just trying to—” Kayden steps forward, but I block him.

“Look, Kayden, it’s over, okay? The show’s over. No need to cover for me. The fake relationship is officially done. You’ll have your money by Monday morning.” When I turn to him, his eyes look hurt, as if my words were meant to destroy him. They weren’t. They were only meant to tell the truth.

“Yup, the act is over,” he says, running his hands through his hair. His cell phone goes off and he reaches into his pocket and answers it, walking into the other room.

“I don’t see why it’s such a big issue.” Tim Faulter is still here, and even he has an opinion on my craziness. “She was doing it to try to fit in.”

“Oh shut up, Tim! As if you have any right to have an opinion on this family,” Mom says in such a gross, mean way.

“Look, I’m just saying that I get it. Here Lisa is, sexing it up with her ex. I, too, would get drunk and find a fake boyfriend.”

“Hear, Hear!” Grandma shouts, drinking from her spiked eggnog.

“Mom, shut it. You’re drunk,” my mom says to Grandma, rolling her eyes.

“And you’re boring, but you don’t see me pointing that out,” Grandma snaps back at her.

Everyone’s on different teams—either Team Fake Boyfriend or Team Jules is a Liar. All but Lisa. She’s sitting silent, staring at me. Her mouth opens, but nothing comes out, and it shuts just as fast. When it opens again, a tear falls down her face and she whispers, “I’m sorry.”

Her apology rips through my heart and sends me stumbling backwards. I turn to leave the room and all the shouting, when I see Kayden in the kitchen, running his hands over his face. He’s shaking, holding the edge of the countertop to keep from falling. When I walk over to him, I know it’s not because of the commotion in the living room, but because of something else. Something worse.

“What is it?” I ask, and when his green eyes look into mine, flooded with sadness, he clears his throat, trying his best to get the words out.

“My…my mom. She’s in the hospital.” He’s falling short of breath, trying to collect his thoughts and not fall apart right there. “I gotta go, I gotta drive, I gotta…”

He’s pacing back and forth and I place my hand on his shoulder. “Let’s go.”

I grab his hand and we move through the living room where everyone is still yelling their heads off, fighting, screaming, and noticing everything but us. Packing up our luggage, we load up the car.

“Let me drive,” I say, and he shakes his head.

“You stay here. Don’t worry about me.” He clears his throat and digs through his coat pocket, pulling out a pack of cigarettes. “I’m fine.”

“No you’re not.”

Opening the pack, he curses, throwing the empty box. “Dammit!” He marches around, kicking invisible stones and yelling in frustration.

“Kayden…” He’s falling apart. He’s about to shatter, and he’s living alone in his mind, thinking about the worst possible outcome. Then he turns to me. Our eyes meet and his body stills.

“She’s my mom…” he whispers. The reverence in his voice touches my soul. “She’s my mom.”

I wrap my arms around him, and hold on tight, feeling if I let go that he would vanish. “Let me drive, please.”