Ouroboros 3: Repeat (5 page)

Carson Blake

Every time he tried to think of her, he was distracted. Every time he tried to question what was happening, he was distracted.

And the distractions were cruel.

Everything appeared designed to tax him emotionally, to keep him so broken he wouldn’t question what he was doing, he would just put one foot in front of the other like a good soldier should.

At one point, they showed him how she died.

A video. Footage.

It was beyond horrific. As he watched it, Carson felt like a part of him just withered up and died.

It was the same scene he remembered, yet instead of pulling her through her bedroom door and into safety, he watched that TI block swing around the room then plunge right through her chest.

Blood went everywhere, and she became limp instantly.

Totally limp.

Like she’d turned into a doll.

He felt cold. No, more than cold—a special kind of numb. One where he could hardly feel his body, but his emotions burnt through him with unnerving tangibility.

He couldn’t get away. Neither could he stop.

Because every time he tried, the situation changed.

It heated up.

Something new happened, some new desperate threat. That or he suddenly became so tired he could no longer question.

The fog would rise up to claim him whole. Until no matter how deep his suspicions ran, he could not act on them.

His body was weak and his mind was weaker.

Grief owned him, and training pushed him forward. Until the suspicions ebbed away as if somebody had simply wiped them from his mind.

Cadet Nida Harper

The vision resolved around her.

As it did, so did a pair of arms.

Arms she instantly recognised.

A face came into view just by her shoulder. Smiling, the cheeks pushed high, the eyes wide and sparkling.

Carson Blake.

There.

Beside her.

Alive.

Alive.

For a moment, she threw herself at him. For a moment, she brought her arms around his. For a moment, she let her hot tears streak down her cheeks as she nuzzled her face into his chest.

Then she stopped.

She remembered.

The strength she had conjured before the vision had begun remained, and she held onto a scrap of it as she remembered this wasn’t real.

It wasn’t real.

It was a simulation.

Just before she had entered the vision, the scientists had said they needed to manufacture a situation emotional enough to distract her.

Apparently, this was it.

It was working.

‘Are you alright?’ Carson asked as he tugged a hand free from around her and pushed her hair back. He looked into her eyes with as much care and concern as it appeared he could muster.

Her stomach turned circles, pitching up and down, and taking her resolve with it.

The feel of his arm locked around her back and his fingers brushing over her cheek was . . . unmistakably real.

And unmistakably amazing.

Though she knew it was a vision, it tugged and pulled at her, wiping away her reason and begging her to succumb.

‘
You look a little confused? Did you have a strange dream?’ Carson asked, his lips pulling wide into a charming smile.

Nida didn’t answer. Yet neither did she push him away.

She needed this.

Comfort. Support.

She remembered how it felt to have Carson by her side, fighting for her, keeping her sane, keeping her safe.

But this wasn’t real, she told herself forcefully.

It was simulation.

It wasn’t real.

That didn’t stop Carson from pulling her closer. ‘It’s all right; it was just a nightmare.’

She let him pull her close until her chest rested against his neck. His skin was warm. And it was the most pleasant kind of warm you could imagine. It sunk deep into her chest, calming her immeasurably.

‘The doctors told us that the entity would continue to give you nightmares,’ Carson said.

Despite the fact she dearly wanted to stay there, she pushed back.

It was one of the hardest things she could do.

She was suddenly struck by the fact she had told Alicia in all honesty that she didn’t like Carson Blake. Because at the time, she hadn’t liked Carson Blake. But a lot had happened since then. Now she looked across at those violet eyes and that wide smile, and she wanted to fall into both of them. Fall into his arms—just fall into him.

She couldn’t though. Because, god dammit, this wasn’t real.

Yet the emotions surging through her felt real, and as they rushed up and down her back and tingled through her cheeks and hands, they stole away her reason, her memory, her strength.

A distant part of her realised this was what those scientists had meant. By increasing the emotional significance of the simulation, it was hard to ignore it, harder to question it. She was succumbing to it.

But no. She had to fight back. While this fake Carson was sitting beside her, one arm locked pleasantly around her shoulders, the real Carson was also beside her. But he was on a cold hospital bed, with untold medical devices latched into his spine and neck, stealing away the secrets of the Academy.

She pushed back and she pushed up.

With a look around the room, she realised she was in her apartment.

‘It was just a nightmare,’ Carson assured her as he got up and lay a hand warmly against her shoulder.

She began leaning into it, then she stopped. She straightened her back, and she stood back.

She looked at him.

And he looked at her, a cute, charming smile warming his cheeks.
‘What is it?’

‘
Nothing,’ she forced herself to answer.

‘
Okay,’ he nodded, looking at her askance, but still with that warm smile spreading his lips invitingly. ‘Do you want something to eat?’

She shook her head.

Then she took a step back, glancing across at the view.

It was perfect. Every detail. It felt real.

Everything felt real.

She’d undergone stimulations before, holograms, training, but nothing had ever felt like this.

It was perfect.

And she had to hold onto that fact, because it reminded her
this was a simulation
. If, on the other hand, she followed her emotions, and they lead her right back into Carson’s arms, she would forget why she was here.

‘
Okay, but you should rest up before we go back to the doctors. They still need to run tests on the entity,’ Carson said as he nodded at her.

Then he nodded at her hand. Her left hand.

She looked down at it.

It was glowing blue.

That same writhing energy that told her the entity resided within.

Yet it didn’t feel right.

In fact, she couldn’t feel a thing.

Though she could see the energy, there was no presence in her mind.

And that,
that
was enough to centre her completely. That was enough to finally push back her emotions, her desire, her need for Carson.

Because this was wrong.

She nodded to herself once.

It was a private move, and was one that signalled her resolve was back.

‘What tests?’ She suddenly asked, smiling at Carson as she did.

‘
You’ve forgotten already?’ He shot her a caring smile. ‘It doesn’t matter anyway. Just tests. We’ll figure out what’s going on with you,’ he reached over to her and cupped his hand on her cheek.

She felt the warmth, she felt his presence, and she looked up into his eyes.

They sparkled.

And she felt nothing.

Because she concentrated, the entire time his hand was on her face, on her left hand.

On the fact she felt nothing. No presence, no entity.

This was a simulation. She was being manipulated by the Vex of the future into giving up the secrets of the Goddess, as they put it.

And she wasn’t going to surrender her secrets. She was going to find theirs instead. She was going to go through with this simulation, and she was going to garner what she could. Then she was going to break free, and she was going to take the real Carson with her.

She followed Carson as he led her from her apartment and down to the main medical facility of the Academy. The walk across the grounds should have been pleasant; there was a gentle breeze rustling through the oaks, and Carson had his hand over hers.

Again, she was almost drawn in by the warmth of his grip.

But again, she stopped herself.

Instead, she followed. She let the simulation lead her forward.

Eventually she found herself in the medical bay, and it was a seriously strange experience. After all, the last time she’d been there, she’d trashed the place.

All those weeks ago, the entity had forced her to escape the Academy. It had controlled her body, breaking her out of her room and forcing her to steal a ship.

Yet now the corridors were clean, normal, and full of friendly, smiling Academy officers and cadets.

‘
Everything will be fine,’ Carson cooed again, his head close to hers as he leaned down to point towards a room. ‘It’ll just be a few more tests. We’ll find out what’s going on soon.’

She forced herself to smile at his promise.

And she held onto it.

Because she would find out what was happening soon.

She was going to go through with this simulation until it revealed exactly what the Vex were after. She was going to collect every scrap of information she could on them.

And she would get the chance to fight back.

As she thought that, she unconsciously pumped her left hand back and forth.

She remembered the entity.

She remembered opening the time gate. She deliberately walked her memory through exactly how it had felt, through every move she had made to gain access to the entity’s power.

But she didn’t breathe a word of it, for in that moment she unconsciously understood that was what the Vex were after. And if not just that fact, then one of them.

They wanted to know how to use the entity; they wanted to manipulate it for their own ends.

Immediately she was reminded of her final vision before she had opened the time gate.

She had been standing in a pristine and sophisticated city as the inhabitants had run from some invisible threat. Then she’d seen it rush towards her. A wall of destruction. A wall of force flattening everything in its path.

Dust rampaging over the landscape and raking away everything beneath it.

Yet within that wall of dust had danced the entity. Its blue glow unmistakable. It had burnt and powered through the buildings, the people, the rubble. It had sunk deep into the ground.

She blinked hard, the raw emotion of that vision rising in her throat.

Instinctively her hand closed tighter around Carson’s.

‘
It’s okay,’ he said immediately, bringing up a hand to push her hair back.

That was something the real Carson did a lot. A move her stomach always clenched at, her heart always shuddering with a moment of genuine expectation.

But this wasn’t real.

So she just let Carson squeeze her hand and push back her fringe. And whilst he did, she thought.

She blinked, she breathed, and she tried her hardest to figure this out.

‘
Here we go,’ Carson said as he opened the door before her.

He led her forward into a large room that housed several powerful consoles. In the middle was a bed.

‘Just head over there and sit down; the doctors will be right with you,’ he smiled reassuringly.

She nodded.

A few seconds later the door opened again, and several doctors walked through, all wearing the unmistakable red and white garb of the Galactic Coalition Academy Medical Wing.

Several told her everything would be find, and all smiled at her.

She should have felt safe, relieved, fine, comfortable even.

She didn’t.

She simply walked over to that bed and she sat down, locking her hands onto her knees as she breathed heavily and purposefully.

‘
It won’t hurt at all,’ one of the doctors said in a compassionate tone. ‘In fact, first we just want to ask some questions.’

Of course they did.

‘What does it feel like when the entity takes control?’ someone asked.

She swallowed, briefly looked at her hands, then shrugged her shoulders.
‘I feel nothing,’ she lied.

‘
Has it ever communicated with you non-verbally? What do you see in your visions?’ another doctor asked.

‘
The destruction of Remus 12,’ she answered flatly, realising there was little point in lying about that.

‘
Have you ever witnessed anything else?’

She didn’t answer.

Almost immediately, Carson walked over to her, reaching a hand out as he did. He had such a loving look on his face that Nida wanted to jump up and accept his hand.

But she didn’t.

She waited until he made it over to her and gently touched her shoulder. ‘Hey, I know this is all a little confronting. But everyone is here to help. You’ve got to tell everyone what you know, so we can finally save you. So we can finally get back to normal,’ he added softly as he smiled down at her.

So they could finally get back to normal.

Her and Carson.

Yes. Her and Carson. They would get back to normal, but this wasn’t normal.

‘I just want you back,’ he smiled again, taking a small breath as he did.

Yes. She wanted him back too.

‘And you know I’d do anything for you, so just tell them what you know,’ he leaned down, and, without waiting, planted a kiss tenderly on her cheek.

It should have sent tingles escaping all the way into her jaw and neck. But it didn’t.

Instead she just locked her gaze on the floor past Carson’s side and she focused her mind.

The fake Carson had claimed he’d do anything for her. Well, she would do anything for him.