Out Bad (17 page)

“Did you do that?”

He took a deep breath, blowing it out hard.  “Once, at
the very beginning.  I’ve always been big and a little…”

“Intimidating?”

“Yeah.  I wasn’t cut out for it."  That night
was one of the most terrifying of his life.  He’d refused to hurt the guy
from the offending club and walked away as a fellow member pointed a gun at his
back.  He’d kept walking. 

"I was better at the business end, so that’s where I
stayed.”

“How’d you get out?”

“A new guy came in.  After a couple years, he hauled me
in.  Turned out he’d been undercover trying to take down the president of
the club.  Offered to let me off on what they had on me if I would
testify.”

“And you said no.”

“That’s right.”

Gwen sat on the couch, staring at the floor and he
waited.  There was nothing he could say.  The ball was in her court
and would be for a while.  The reality of it was, she could think she was
okay with everything, but six months or a year down the road, when it really
hit her what he’d done, she might change her mind.

“How long did you know he was a cop?”

Her question came as a surprise.  A cautious hope
bloomed within him.  “Long enough.”

“Were drugs all the gang dealt in?”

“At the beginning.”

“And at the end?”

He gripped the couch, leaning forward and closing his
eyes.  Nothing could ever erase the memory of the last time he was at the
house.  “Girls.”

"One of the president’s favorite men brought in a group
of girls barely out of school.  All coked out, all completely unaware of
the hell they were about to face.  That night I made the call and was
picked up and taken to county."

"You were the one who got in trouble?" 
Gwen's eyes were wide in
disbeleif
.

"In exchange for information that helped them with
their investigation and kept their guy on the inside safe, I got reduced jail
time, but it didn't matter.  All that mattered was that I was out on good
terms.  The cops made it seem like I took the fall for the drug offences
they had on the club."  He hung his head.

Gentle hands pushed his hair back from his face, tucking the
sides behind his ears.  He opened his eyes.  Gwen was on the couch in
front of him, her stomach pressed against the back as she looked up at him,
tears clinging to her long dark lashes. 

She rested her palms against each side of his face as her
eyes searched his, for what he didn’t know.  Maybe hoping she could look
deep enough to see what was inside.  He wished it was possible, but it
wasn’t.  Only time would be able to erase whatever doubt the truth of his
life had created for her.

Hopefully she would give him that time.

There was nothing to say.

Gwen knew well that words have very little effect on a pain
as deep as Joe's.

She wrapped her arms tightly around his neck and pulled her
body up against his, tucking her face into his neck.  That was all she
could do.  Hold him.

His arms came around her back, squeezing her so tight her
lungs couldn’t fill completely.  But it was okay.  There were so many
times she’d needed someone to hug her like this.  Like they were holding
her together, keeping her from falling apart.

She squeezed him back, holding him as tightly as he held
her.  She breathed in, closing her eyes and letting his smell burn into
her memory.  She felt the roughness of his cheek where it scratched
against hers as she listened to his slow, deep breaths.

“Gwen, I-”, his voice was quiet, soft as his lips brushed
against her hair.

“
Shhh
.”  She loosened her
grip on him and leaned back.  She smiled.  “I really like your house.”

Joe let out a breath and she felt his shoulders relax under
her hands.  “I’m glad.”  He smiled back.  “I wasn’t sure what
you would think.”

She let her fingers brush through the ends of his dark
hair.  “Why is that?”

He shrugged.  “It’s just very different from your
house.”

She raised an eyebrow at him.  “My house looks like
every other house in the neighborhood.  It doesn’t take much to be
different.”

He grinned at her, his mood obviously beginning to
lighten.  “Fair enough.”

“Am I allowed to see the rest?” 

“You’re allowed to do anything you want sweetheart.” 
He gave her a quick kiss on the nose before releasing her.

She climbed off the couch deciding not to point out that she
was not, in fact, allowed to do anything she wanted.  She’d tried to do what
she wanted.  Twice.

Joe took her hand.  “Upstairs first?”

“Sure.” 

He led her up a partially enclosed flight of stairs that
ended in a small hallway with four doorways.  The room on her left was
bright, but empty.  No curtains, no furniture, not even any
flooring.  Just subfloor.

The door beside it was a matching bedroom.  Empty, but
clean and bright.  Joe flicked on the light in the room straight ahead and
turned to her.  “This is the best room in the house.”

He held out his hand for her to go in first.  The smell
of fresh paint hung in the air.  “Did you just do this?”

“I did.  Heath helped me with the drywall a couple
nights.”

Gwen ran her fingertips over the smooth granite
counter.  “It’s beautiful.”

The bathroom was split in two by a door.  The front
part held a clean lined, weathered grey vanity with double under mount
sinks.  The counter was swirls of cream and white with pale grey veining.

In the back section was the toilet and a tub/shower
combination.  Slate grey tile surrounded the gleaming white bathtub. 
She turned back to find Joe leaning against the doorjamb, his arms crossed over
his chest.  “I can’t believe you did all this.”

He shrugged.  “It wasn’t too bad.”

There was an extra switch by the door.  Gwen walked
over and flipped it, looking around to see what it turned on.

“You won’t be able to feel that through your shoes.”

“Is the floor heated?”  She squatted down and laid her
palm against the tile, feeling the warmth begin to build. 

Joe nodded.  “Gabbi said it would be good for kids.” 
He clamped his mouth shut.

“Oh.”  Gwen flipped the switch back off.  “She
would know.”

Gwen stepped back into the hall.  “How many bedrooms
are there?”

Joe pointed at the first two rooms she’d seen and the last
remaining door upstairs.  “Three up here and one downstairs.”

“So, four.” 

“Yeah.”

She chewed on her lip for a second.  “Do you plan on
filling all of them?”

He nodded.  “I figure the boys can double up.”

“What?” 

Joe started laughing, his voice echoing through the mostly
empty rooms.  “Not up to the challenge?”

Gwen marched past him into the last remaining room. 
The sight of the king size bed covered in a navy blue fitted sheet stopped
her.  Imagining Joe stretched out on the bed in, hopefully very little,
had her thinking she might be willing to give it a hell of a good effort.

Joe stepped in beside her.  “The insulation stinks
here.  It gets pretty warm up-stairs.”

Being in a hot bedroom with Joe didn’t actually sound like a
bad thing.  A hot room would mean fewer clothes on his body and no
blankets to get tangled up in.  She looked at him out of the corner of her
eye, then back at the big, empty bed.  She sighed.

He would just turn her down, again.

“Can I see the rest of the downstairs?”

Downstairs was the living and dining room, the eat-in
kitchen and the laundry room on one side, the fourth bedroom and another
bathroom on the other, with the stairs splitting them up the middle.

“Are you hungry?”  Joe leaned on his kitchen counter,
her tour of his house ending right back where it started.

She pulled out the only chair tucked under the kitchen table
and sat down.  “Are you offering to make me dinner?”

“I was actually offering to take you to dinner.”  He
stood up and turned to open his fridge.  “I could probably come up with
something to make though, depending on how you feel about scrambled eggs and
toast.”

As fantastic as a nice dinner out with Joe sounded, eating
scrambled eggs on his couch while he told her about his plans for the house
sounded much better.  “I love eggs and toast.  I actually eat it for
dinner a lot.”

“Well then today is your lucky day because that is exactly
what I have in my fridge.”  He grinned at her over his shoulder as he
pulled out a carton of eggs and butter.

“Is that okay?  I’m just…”  She stood up and
pushed the chair back under the table before joining him in the kitchen. 
“I’m just tired.  Maybe we can go out tomorrow night?”  Tonight she
just wanted to be with him.  Really be there.  Not worrying, not
wondering, just listening, appreciating. 

Talking with
Jarod
was really
making her rethink what she’d been doing in her life.  At work, with her
sister, with Joe.  She was beginning to realize maybe he was right. 
Maybe she had been given a gift.  Knowing each second was precious could
be a blessing and it was time she started treating it like that, instead of
like a curse.

****

“Friday, no exceptions.”

“I’m not the one who made the exception tonight.”  Gwen
poked him in the chest.  “That was you.” She turned back around and
crunched down the edges of foil covering the baking dish on her counter.

“You know darn well I had no choice.”  He took a step
closer, pressing his chest against her back.  He gripped the counter on
each side of her body and leaned in to nip at her neck.  Knowing they had
someplace to be made it easier to touch her, kiss her.  There wasn’t time
for it to get out of hand.  If they were late there would be hell to pay.

Gwen tipped her head to the side, giving him easier
access.  He pushed tighter against her.  “You smell so good.”

One of her hands tangled in his hair and the other gripped
his thigh.  A soft moan escaped her lips as she pushed her bottom into his
groin.  “You feel so good.”

He slid one hand across her stomach.  The hem of her
shirt caught on his thumb.  His fingers met the smooth skin of her
belly.  She sucked in a breath as his hand traveled father, gliding across
her ribcage.

They had ten minutes before they had to leave for Heath and
Gabbi’s.  He decided to make the most of them.

He leaned into her ear.  “Can I touch you?”

“I really wish you would.”  She swayed her hips,
rubbing against his straining dick.  It would have to wait until
Friday.  There was no way he would consider bedding Gwen until he’d at
least properly taken her out.

However, he was more than willing to give her something to
think about during the week.

He slid his hand softly over her breast.  The thin,
unlined cup of her bra hid nothing.  He gently pinched her already
puckered nipple through the soft fabric, smiling as she gasped his name. 
Hooking his index finger under the edge, he flipped the cup under the swell of
her breast.  He did the same with the other side.

He caught her other nipple between his fingers, gently
kneading until it was a tight nub.  He imagined how it would feel sucked
deep into his mouth as she writhed under him.

Friday.

He nipped at her ear and down the tight column of her neck
as his other hand slid across her belly, pulling her against him.  For a
second he savored the feel of her body pressed into his, her breast pushed into
his palm, his name on her whispered moans.

He slowly tucked his fingers into the waistband of her
shorts.  Using his thumb and index finger, he flipped the button, freeing
it and allowing him more working room.

He moved lower, down the silky skin of her lower stomach and
under the lacy fabric of her panties. 

Her skin was hot and swollen, begging to be touched, rubbed,
stroked.  He was happy to oblige it.

He held her tightly as he slid his fingers into her wet
slit.  He circled her engorged clit a few times before sinking into
her.  She sagged against him as he pulled back and returned to her
sensitive nub.

Slowly he massaged the hard little bud, supporting her
weight with his other arm as that hand kneaded and twisted her taut
nipples.  He slid his fingers back inside continuing to stroke her with
his thumb.  He picked up speed as she started to shake, pulling his
fingers out and using his soaked digits to rub between the puffy folds.

She bucked against him as her nails dug into the skin of his
neck.  He sank his fingers deep inside her, wanting to feel her convulse
around him.  He held her tightly, until she relaxed back against him, her
head falling back onto his chest.

“Oh my gosh.”  She dropped the hand at his neck to the
counter to brace herself.

He kissed the top of her head as he redid the button and
zipper of her shorts.  “I hate to tell you this, but we have to go.”

“I don’t want to go.  I want to stay here.”  She
turned and wrapped her arms around his neck as she pressed her body against
his.  “Please?”

“Do you want to make that phone call?”

She huffed at him.  “No.”  She turned back around
and grabbed the foil wrapped dish off the counter.  “Let’s get this show
on the road then.”

Twenty minutes later they were pulling up in front of Heath
and Gabbi’s.  Cassondra and Caroline were rolling across the front yard as
Heath watched from the porch.  When they saw Gwen’s car pull in the
driveway, they jumped up and came running.

“Mommy finished making dinner but we couldn’t eat it till
you got here.”  Cassondra threw her arms around Gwen’s knees.  “She
said you were
prolly
late ‘cause you were rolling
around so we decided to roll around too.”

Gwen gave Heath a dirty look.  “We’re not late.”

Heath threw his hands up.  “I didn’t say
anything!”  He opened the front door.  “Come on girls.”  He
tickled Cassie’s neck as she skipped by.  “Trouble maker.”  She
giggled as she disappeared inside with her sister.

Gwen followed the girls in while Joe hung back.

“How’s things?”

“Haven’t heard anything.  They’ve been really
quiet.”  Heath stepped inside.

“So we’re fine?”

Heath nodded.  “I don’t think it was ever anything.”

Joe let out the breath he felt like he’d been holding for
weeks.  He followed Heath into the kitchen, feeling like a huge weight had
been lifted from his shoulders.

“All by yourself?”  Gabbi stood beside Gwen with her
arms crossed and her eyebrows high on her forehead.  Both women were
staring at the dish Gwen carried in.

“Yes, all by myself, jerk.”  She pulled the foil
off.  “I can balance the finances of a multi-million dollar company, but
you can’t believe I can make cheesecake bars without assistance?”

Gabbi peeked down at the dish.  “Those look good
Gwennie
.”

Gwen rolled her eyes as she tucked the foil back in place
and picked up the pan.

“You just never cook.  I’m sorry.  I was
surprised.” 

Gwen shoved the cheesecake bars in the fridge.  “Just
because I don’t doesn’t mean I can’t.”

Gabbi lifted the lid on a bubbling pot of spaghetti sauce
and gave it a stir.  She gave Joe a once over.  “Maybe I was wrong.”