Out of Control (8 page)

“Is the other bedroom this size?” Rafe hunkered down with Wendell in his arms and laid the man on the floor.

“Exactly this size.” Julia knelt beside him. Shoulder to shoulder, they all but filled the room. Wendell lying down, Julia and Rafe on their knees at his side.

“Where do you sleep?”

“With Maggie in the other room. Audra sleeps there too when Father isn't home. It's cold in here at night.”

“Have you got the same bedding in that room?”

Julia quit frowning at her father and gave Rafe a disgruntled look. “Why do you think I've been pushing my father to get out of here? This is no place for children to live. Yes, that bedroom has the same pathetic blankets. There's no mattress. No bed. No crib. We loaded everything we could carry on a single packhorse and in our arms. We walked to the nearest train in the middle of the night. We got on the first train leaving the station and headed west. When we reached the end of the line, Father bought a covered wagon and we didn't begin to fill it up, even though it was small. Pa said we'd get all the things we needed when we got settled. We're still waiting for him to bring proper supplies home and help us build some furniture.”

“But if it gets cold at night, how do you—?”

“It
does
get cold at night. No
if
about it. Can we focus on helping my father for now? You can question me about this pathetic shack and our complete lack of bedding, firewood, and food later.”

The sound of the baby's crying finally stopped. Audra must have gotten the little one settled down. When Rafe thought of exactly how she'd go about that, his face heated up again. He'd never been around babies. His own little brothers didn't count because he didn't remember them being babies.

“You don't have food? Julia, I—”

“Rafe!”

“Okay, okay. Later.”

“Go on out. There's not room for you to be in here while I work. Get that water heated up. I need to open this wound to drain the infection, and I'll need the hottest water I can get.”

Rafe started to obey her but then stopped, there on his knees beside her, and looked at that ugly wound. Wendell's arm was swollen to nearly double the normal size and it was deep red, with darker streaks spreading up and down. His skin had a shiny, almost waxy look to it. A small scratch seeped yellow.

“This is real bad.” Rafe looked to see how she'd take that.

“Really bad.” Julia blew a long breath out and closed her eyes; then her shoulders squared and her chin lifted. “My father . . .”

For a while Rafe didn't think she'd go on.

“He's always made my life a lot harder than it needed to be.” She opened her eyes and looked at her father's still face. “And not just since we moved west. Being his daughter wasn't easy. But he could be kind. He knew I liked exploring caves and learning about fossils. I had a teacher who encouraged my interest and suggested some books. Father bought a few for me. He kept me supplied with paper and pencils, and he'd mail my articles when I'd write them.

“He was an angry man. But he wasn't angry really with me. He was just angry with”—she spread her arms wide and almost whacked Rafe in the nose—“the whole world.”

Julia shrugged as if it didn't matter, but her eyes were sad. “I decided I could put up with it. Hang on until I could grow up and get away. I almost made it. Figured once I was old enough, I could do something. Teach school, write about my fossils, maybe. Whatever it took to leave him and live on my own.” Her voice dropped to a whisper, and Rafe knew she didn't want Audra to hear through the thin walls. “Then he got married. Audra can't be alone like I was all those years. Not with babies to care for.”

“Alone? But you had your pa.”

“No, he left me alone like he does here. Worked in town, came home on Sundays. I can't leave now. Not ever.”

Rafe heard near desperation in her voice.

“My pa was a hard man, too.” Rafe didn't want to say that out loud, because his pa's hardness was Rafe's fault. He'd never been an easy man, but he'd gotten so much worse after the accident in the cavern. Rubbing at the scar on his temple, Rafe thought for the thousandth time that if he had just stayed out of there . . . been more trustworthy from the start . . . taken better care of his little brothers . . . Pa wouldn't have been so cranky. He wouldn't have started staying away more and more until he seemed more of a visitor to the Kincaid Ranch than its owner.

Rafe almost told her. It might help to know she wasn't the only one.

Before he could, she went on whispering. “But I couldn't regret him marrying Audra. Things got so much better. Not with Father. He's always been difficult. But having Audra . . .” Her voice softened with affection. “Things got better for
me
. She was like having a sister. With her, the house became a home. When Maggie was born, Audra and I had such a good time with her that Pa's grouchiness didn't seem to matter much.”

“How long have they been married?”

“Not quite three years.”

“They had their children fast. How old is she?”

“She's far closer to my age than Father's.” Julia's shoulder brushed his as she leaned close to him and dropped her voice even lower. “But Audra should
never
have had another baby so fast. It would have been okay if we hadn't moved. And I adore Maggie. But Audra's so delicate, and with no milk cow, Audra is still nursing. I'm afraid the babies are taking every bite of nourishment she eats.”

Rafe thought of that fragile flower of a woman and had to agree, though she'd survived, and here was tough old Wendell in a world of hurt. “You can't always judge toughness by looks.”

Julia's gaze met his, and for a moment they weren't in this shabby little room with a sickly man and trouble in their past and their future.

Before Rafe was anywhere near done looking, Julia shook her head and broke the spell.

It took some doing, but he remembered what he'd been wanting to say. “Your stepmother has survived in a hard land—and I'm counting Texas as well as Colorado. She's delivered her first baby, and Maggie is alive and well.”

“True. But it isn't wise. My father doesn't seem to care about much but himself.”

Rafe hated how lonely she sounded. He had to tell her she wasn't alone in her struggle with her parents. “My ma was a big strapping woman. Broad-shouldered, broad-hipped. Gave birth to three young'uns without much trouble, least I never heard of any. But she wasn't tough in her mind and her heart. There was an accident. My fault.” Rafe ran a finger over his scar. “We almost lost Seth.”

“Seth?” Julia interrupted. “Ethan said Seth's Cavern.”

“Our little brother. He got hurt. Bad hurt. For a while we didn't think he was going to live. Ma . . . It seemed like she just took to her rocking chair and quit the family. Pa started staying away. He'd always gone off to do some trapping every once in a while, but he ran his ranch, too. After Seth's accident, he starting leaving more and more to me, until we boys were doing everything and he barely lived with us anymore.”

Rafe had thought many times of how—before the accident—he'd run wild. Explored the cavern. Ma couldn't keep up with them and Pa was busy with the cattle or gone trapping, and Rafe had done as he pleased. After the accident he'd grown up, but it was too late for his family. When Ma died, it had been sad, but they'd buried her and the family went on as always because she hadn't really been part of it for a long time. Rafe had decided long ago that this land wasn't right for women. Now here were Julia and Audra, living proof that a woman ought not to try to settle here.

“We should never have settled here.” Julia looked down at her father. “We weren't exactly happy in Houston, not with Father's temper, but we had a good roof over our heads and food in the cupboards. He wasn't around all that much, so we put up with him on the weekends and he'd go away and we'd have our happy home back. I have no idea what possessed him to head west. As usual he didn't explain himself.”

“I know why.” A voice turned Rafe around. Audra stood in the doorway. She pushed the door open, looking about as strong as dandelion fluff.

Julia stood. “Really? He's never said anything to me.”

Rafe got to his feet and watched the two women. Worrying about what would become of them without a man.

“He told me just before he collapsed. I think he was feverish, not thinking clearly, or he'd never have said anything. He stole some money from a dangerous man and ran. That's why we left so abruptly.”

“He stole money?” Julia's brow furrowed. “But we've always moved on short notice.”

“Maybe it wasn't the first money he stole.” Rafe gave unconscious Wendell a disgusted look.

“There's more.” Audra told them about the gambling, and about how her father had as good as sold her to repay a debt.

Ethan appeared behind Audra, just peeked around the corner with a baby in his arms. The little one was sitting up, looking at Ethan and grinning.

Audra looked over her shoulder, then smiled shyly at Ethan. “Thanks for holding her. Let me tear up a few more rags and then I'll take her.” She turned, but Ethan took up too much space. She stopped, facing him.

Rafe thought his brother was a mite too slow about stepping back to let her go past.

Once Audra was gone, Ethan went back to standing more behind the doorframe than in front of it. The young'un leaned sideways to peek into the room. Rafe moved, hoping to block the little girl's view of her sick pa.

“Water's hot.” Ethan's complete lack of haste in delivering that news told Rafe his brother had heard Audra's story.

“I'll get it.” Julia edged past Ethan.

Rafe couldn't quite take his eyes off her as she whisked her bossy little self out of the room.

He watched her vanish, and his eyes lingered on the spot where she'd been before he looked to see Ethan and his stupid smile. Ethan always smiled too much.

“What'd you see here that's even a little bit funny?” Rafe was surprised by the urge to yell at his brother, tackle him and punch him. At least wrestle him to the ground. They'd spent most of their childhood in some kind of battle, usually laughing through it all. Their wrestling matches were another thing that had ended after Seth's accident.

“Not a thing, big brother. So, have you ever seen a woman before? Least ways one you're not related to?”

Rafe clenched his fists. Then the little girl peeked around the corner of the door again and saved Ethan's mangy hide.

Ethan seemed to know it because he showed no fear. In fact, his smile got wider. Fighting with Ethan might help Rafe work off the strange turmoil in his gut, but how was a man supposed to tackle his brother when he held an innocent child?

The little girl started bouncing and drew Rafe's attention. Rafe wasn't going to be able to swing a fist. But that didn't mean he couldn't land a punch of another kind. “You look real nice holding a baby.”

Then a thought came to him. “This cut is . . . is . . .” Rafe didn't want to say that Wendell was going to die, especially in front of the little one. Especially if Audra was within hearing distance. But Ethan knew as well as Rafe that only a miracle stood between Wendell Gilliland and the Pearly Gates. And from what Rafe had heard, Wendell and the Almighty weren't on the kind of terms that earned a man a miracle.

Of course, who ever really deserved a miracle? So anything was possible.

Ethan nodded and spoke very quietly so the women in the room only a few feet away wouldn't hear. “Not the kind of thing a man recovers from most times. Short of using a hacksaw.”

The little girl slapped Ethan in the face.

Ethan couldn't help but smile at the little angel.

Hacksaw and a smile.

This was one of the strangest days of Rafe's life. Of course, his life was mostly normal as the sunrise. Work and eat and sleep, then wake up and work again.

Strange was kind of nice for once. Except for Wendell being close to death, of course.

“So if we do . . . that.” Rafe didn't say cut his arm off with a hacksaw. “If it
saves
him, they're gonna need a lot of help for a long time. And if it doesn't . . .” Rafe gave Maggie a deadly serious look and dropped his voice to a whisper. “Her ma is gonna need a new husband.”

Ethan was darkly tanned, but Rafe thought he turned a slight shade of green. He glanced over his shoulder and whispered back, “Why are you lookin' at me when you say that?”

“Was I looking at you, brother?”

“Look at yourself. Except, wait, you got eyes for a pretty redhead, don't you?” Ethan looked sideways again, clearly checking to see if Julia or Audra were listening. “Pick either of them and you end up with the whole brood.” Ethan shuddered and ran away as if he were being chased by a pack of rabid wolves.

Rafe noticed he held on to the baby, though.

Turning back to Wendell, Rafe looked at that arm. The red streaks went up as high as his sleeve could be rolled. Julia came bustling back in the room with her basin of hot water, and Rafe didn't know what to tell the woman. Hot water wasn't going to make one bit of difference.

If they were going to have a chance of saving him, the arm needed to come off. Rafe felt sick. He'd never done such a thing and wasn't sure he could. Then he thought of Steele back at the Kincaid Ranch. A tough man who'd spent time in the war.

Steele did what doctoring got done on the ranch. He'd never talked much about the war, but he was a man who might have at least seen an infected wound like this. Julia stood with the steaming water, frowning at her sick father.

“I'll leave you to it.” Rafe turned sideways so she could get past.

“Are you leaving?” She blocked the door as if she'd tackle him if he tried.