Out Of Line (5 page)

L
ater that night, after Finn kissed me and dissed me, so to speak, I came out of the bathroom in a pair of frog jammies and found Marie sitting on my bed, a short dress in her hands. Since Marie was already wearing a way-too-short black dress, I could only assume the tiny blue dress in Marie’s hands was for someone else. That someone else better not be
me
.

I raised a brow and eyed the contraption. “What’s up?”

“What’s up is you’re going to lose the froggies and slip into this.” Marie tossed the dress at me and I reflexively caught it. “And we’re going to go party. And for once in your life, you’re staying.”

I held the dress to my chest. “I told you, I don’t like parties.”

“That’s because you never drink at them, I’d bet.” Marie stood up and gave me a little push toward the bathroom. “But tonight, you are. I’ll get you something good, and we’ll party the night away. Monday classes start, so we’ll have a boring week. But tonight?” She shoved me into the bathroom. “We dance!”

As the door closed in my face, I flinched. Marie might be pushy—literally—but she had a point. The week ahead of us would be long. Would it be so wrong to let loose and have some fun tonight? Look at all the other stuff I had already done since getting here.

Buying a surfboard? Check. Riding a motorcycle? Check. Kissing a hot surfer boy? Double freaking check. As long as I wasn’t crazy and didn’t get caught on camera naked or something, there wouldn’t be any backlash. Surely Dad drank in college, right? Oh, but that was different.
He
was a man, and
I
was his baby girl.

Rolling my eyes, I sent a mental eff you out in the universe. I made quick work of shedding my froggie pajamas and slid in to the short dress. Spinning in front of the mirror, I cringed. The thing barely covered my butt. Wait. Maybe it didn’t even cover it at all.

“I’m coming in,” Marie called. As she opened the door and barged through, she paused. “Wow. You look amazing. All you need is makeup and we’ll be ready to go.”

“I don’t really—”

“Wear makeup? I know.” Marie pulled out an eyeshadow brush. “But tonight you’re different, remember?”

Different. That sounded nice. I closed my eyes and let Marie work her magic. But when I closed my eyes, I remembered that amazing kiss Finn had given me. And then I remembered our fight afterward. He was always acting so…contradictory. It didn’t make any sense. Marie started applying the eyeshadow, and I belatedly said, “Not too dark.”

“I know, I know.” Marie set to work, and I tried to relax. This was supposed to be fun. “Your dad called. I told him you were studying at the library.”

I swallowed. “Why did you do that?”

“He calls every hour. He needs to back off. He a cop or something?”

I laughed. “No. Just overprotective.”

“Ah.” I felt Marie’s shrug, even though my eyes were shut. “My dad was like that before he died.”

“I’m sorry,” I said. Dad was annoying, sure, but I couldn’t picture life without him. “How long ago?”

“Two years.” Marie closed the mascara, and seemed to close the topic. “Open your eyes now.”

I refused to look at myself yet. I was scared I would look more hooker than sexy. “Done?”

“Not yet.”

I fidgeted. “Are you
sure
it’s not too short?”

“Positive.” Marie applied a layer of lip gloss, grabbed a piece of toilet paper, and said, “Blot.” I pressed my lips down on the toilet paper. “There. Now you’re ready to go.”

I peeked in the mirror. Smoky gray eyes and black eyeliner stared back at me, making my eyes seem brighter than usual. And the red lip gloss actually looked…good. “Wow.”

“Right?” Marie put the rest of the makeup away, fluffed her blonde hair, and grinned. “We’ll be the prettiest girls there. Now let’s go.”

We linked arms and walked out of the dorm. As we passed, boys gaped at us, making me smile. Okay, maybe Marie was right. Maybe I needed this. After Finn kissed me and practically wiped his mouth to remove my taste from his lips, my self-esteem had been lagging. It might be fun to go out and drink. Flirt a little bit too much.

And then Finn could kiss my un-kissable ass.

Marie dropped my arm when we reached the crowded frat house. Girls in dresses even shorter than mine filled the room, as well as guys in plaid shorts and solid-colored shirts. From a distance, they all looked the same. Marie tugged me toward the “bar” area, which was really just a bunch of wine coolers and beer cans on a folding table. “Which one do you want?”

I eyed the choices skeptically, then reached for a pink drink with a picture of the beach on the label. “This one, I guess.”

“Good choice.” Marie opened it for me and grabbed a beer from the table. After opening her own drink, she nodded to the room. “Next assignment is for you to find a cute guy and start talking to him. Think of this like a class. A class at how to party properly.”

I rolled my eyes. “But—”

I turned around and Marie was gone, already chatting up a guy I vaguely recognized. Great. Just freaking great. Now what? Everywhere I looked, people were already engrossed in conversations. I wasn’t the type of girl who just barged in and invaded other people’s conversations. Giving up on finding someone who wasn’t already busy, I scanned the room, looking for somewhere to sit. As I searched, I tilted my drink to my lips. It tasted sweet and a little bit like pink lemonade.

Whoever came up with this type of alcohol was
brilliant
.

Spying an empty spot by the door, I carefully made my way across the room in my heels and sat down on the step leading outside. I hadn’t left, but it gave me room to breathe. It was a win-win. No sooner had I sat down than a man was next to me, a beer in his hand and a sloppy grin on his face.

“Hey, there,” he said, his voice slurred. “Haven’t seen you around here before.”

How many drinks had he had? I got nervous around drunk people. They were too unpredictable. Dad had thrown a dinner party once and a man had gotten drunk and punched another guy for looking at his wife too long. He’d been perfectly fine, and even polite, before the drinking.

Though my urge to run was strong, I forced myself to take a sip of my drink. I’d been running away enough. It was time to stand still. “Yeah, I’m new here.”

“Freshman?”

“Yep.” I took another sip. The drink was delicious. “You?”

He scooted closer to me, pressing his body against mine. I could smell the alcohol on his breath, overwhelming and sickening. “I’m a junior.”

I stiffened. Though Finn had done the same thing earlier, his body pressed to mine hadn’t made me want to gag. It hadn’t made me feel like a thousand worms squiggled under my skin. I scooted away from him. “Nice.”

He reached out and played with my hair, leaning so close that his beer breath washed over me. “I like this color. Is it real?”

“Uh, yeah.” I pulled my hair free and slid into the corner of the banister. “What’s your major?”

“You are,” he said, following me.

That had to be the corniest line I had ever heard or read. And I’d read a heck of a lot of books. I couldn’t help it. I laughed. “Okay, that was funny.”

“It’s only the beginning.”

Without warning, his lips closed over mine. Instead of the electric whir I had felt when Finn kissed me, the itchy need to get closer to him…I couldn’t breathe. I tore free of this man’s smothering mouth, but he moved on to my neck without a second’s hesitation.

“Get off me.” Shoving at his shoulders, I stood up and took a calming breath. After setting my half empty bottle on the step, I said, “I have a boyfriend.”

“Oh. Why didn’t you tell me before you kissed me?” Beer Breath asked. He stumbled to his feet and adjusted his junk.

So freaking attractive
.

“I didn’t—”

“Get lost,” a hard voice that I recognized said from the shadows. “You’ll go back to your stupid little party and find another drunk girl to hit on.”

“Says who?” Beer Breath asked, a cocky grin on his face.

“Says me,” Finn said, stepping out of the shadows. He flexed his fists and stepped closer to me. “Go ahead. Give me a reason to punch your fucking face in, and I’ll gladly oblige.”

Beer Breath paled and shuffled backward. “Dude. She kissed me.”

“No, I didn’t.”

“We wouldn’t expect you to know the difference, now would we?” Finn asked, his voice mocking. He was practically begging for a fight. And all because of what? Because some dude kissed me? Why did he even care? “You have five seconds to be gone.”

Beer Breath turned red. “You know what? Run off with your little boyfriend and don’t ever come back to this frat again.”

Beer Breath stormed off, leaving Finn and me alone on the porch. I pivoted and gave him what I hoped was an annoyed look. “You do realize I can handle a grabby-hands boy by myself, right? I dealt with you, after all.”

He stepped closer, towering over me. “Ginger, you have no idea how to deal with me.”

I stiffened. “I know that if I kissed you now, you wouldn’t push me away.”

“Of course I wouldn’t. Look at you.” His gaze dipped over my body, and when he met my eyes again his own were blazing and hot. “Any man would kiss you back.”

“You’d push me away after.”

He lifted a shoulder but said nothing.

He was so darn condescending and cocky. “Why are you at another frat party that I just
happen
to be at? Who are you? Why are you following me?”

Finn leaned against a palm tree and looked far too casual, but he reminded me of one of those lions on the Discovery Channel. He looked perfectly calm on the surface, but in a second he could be all deadly and lethal. “I’m here because I was taking a walk down the beach, and I saw you and that loser kissing. Then I saw you push him away. I wanted to make sure you were okay, but now I’m wishing I had bashed his head into the fucking wall before I let him go.”

My heart rose to my throat. “Why?”

“Because you should be kissing
me
,” he practically whispered. “Not some college boy who doesn’t know what he’s doing.”

He closed the distance between us. And as soon as his hands were on my hips, his mouth was on mine. The familiar sensations he’d awoken in me came to life, and I clung to him. His tongue entwined with mine, and he grabbed my waist, yanking me against him.

I lifted up on tiptoe, trying to get closer, and moaned softly. He needed to do that again. And more. This is how a kiss was supposed to feel. This is what it was supposed to do to me. I might be inexperienced, but even I knew what a good kiss felt like.

And. This. Was. It.

As soon as my lips touched hers, I knew I was making one of the biggest fucking mistakes of my life. I shouldn’t have done that. I
really
shouldn’t have done that. Seeing her in that bastard’s arms had triggered something deep within me. Something had made me go crazy and come down on her like a barbarian or some shit like that. I’d needed to show her who she should really be kissing. That same primal urge had apparently taken away the common sense God had given me. This was strictly off limits. Forbidden.

Yet I couldn’t stop.

When she whimpered into my mouth and pressed even closer to me, pressing her soft stomach against my hard cock, I wanted so badly to forget all the reasons why I couldn’t kiss her. Forget all the reasons I couldn’t bring her back to my place and spend all night making her scream my name.

But then my phone buzzed.

And all the reasons I
shouldn’t
be kissing her came flooding back. I jerked free and stumbled back, a hand over my mouth. As if that would help remove the memory of how wonderful she tasted. “Fuck.”

She stiffened, her sapphire eyes going narrow. “No. Fuck
you
.” Flinging her hair over her shoulder, she headed for the dorms.

I ignored my phone and stumbled after her. “Wait. I’m sorry.”

“Sorry about what?” She spun around, arms akimbo and eyes blazing. “Sorry you kissed me again? Sorry you keep kissing me and then regretting it? Sorry you keep following me around?” She shoved my shoulders hard, but I didn’t move. Not much could move me anymore. “What’s your deal, anyway?”

I clenched my jaw. “The truth is, I don’t want to want you. I’m a Marine. I could be out of this place in days for all I know. And I barely know you, and yet I can’t stay away. That’s what I’m doing here. That’s why I keep coming back.”

Even if it is my job to follow you around
.

“Why aren’t you supposed to want me?” Her eyes went wide and she pointed a finger at me. “Oh my God, you have a girlfriend. Don’t you?”

My heart stuttered to a stop before speeding up painfully. For a second, I thought she knew who I really was. For a second, I thought my cover had been blown. And I had been relieved. Maybe I needed to stop this game. Quit.

“No. I don’t.” I held my hands out to my sides, palms up. “I’m not a cheater.”

“Just a player.”

No, just a liar
. “Pretty much. And I’m already committed to my work.”

She pressed her lips together. “The Marines.”

I wanted to correct her. Tell her it was my other job that was causing problems, but then she’d want more info. Info I couldn’t give her. “Right.”

She smoothed her hair. “So what are we supposed to do? Stop seeing each other?”

I couldn’t do that even if my job
wasn’t
to see her. I wanted to be with her, plain and simple; no matter how wrong it might be. “No. I can’t do that.”

“Then what do you want from me?” She tilted her head back and looked up at me, her lips soft and her eyes even softer. I wanted to kiss her again, but I held back. “You aren’t making any sense.”

“I want to…I want to teach you to surf, and ride on my bike, and be with you, but I can’t
be with
you.”

I cupped her cheek and kissed her forehead. Her lids drifted shut, and she swayed closer. It took all my control to not capture her lips. To not take what she so freely offered, but she didn’t realize who she offered her lips to. If she knew she would hate me.

More than I hated myself right now.

She held on to my biceps and gave me a small smile. “Friends?”

“Friends.”

She nodded and dropped her hold on me. I let her go, but it was hard. Way too fucking hard. “Then you can’t be mad if you see me kissing other guys. You can’t not want me, but not want me to be with someone else. That’s not fair.”

The hell it wasn’t.

“I can’t promise that.” I gritted my teeth. “I don’t make promises I can’t keep, and I don’t think I can keep that one.”

“Then at least promise you won’t lie to me anymore.” She canted her head. “Can you promise me that?”

I swallowed hard. “I can’t promise that either,” I managed to say. “But I can promise to do my best not to hurt you and to be a good friend.”

She gave me one last look and turned on her heel, leaving me behind. I followed her, even though I had been clearly dismissed. Yep. She was just like her father. “Would you rather I lie and say I’ll never tell you a lie? Who can promise that?”

“Honest people. That’s who.”

I laughed hard. “So you’ve never lied to me?”

She hesitated. I could see her recalling our time together, going over every conversation in detail. After licking her lips, she finally admitted, “No. I guess I can’t say that.”

“See?” Of course, I already knew all about the lies she’d told me. Every single one. “No one can promise that. People lie all the time, especially when it comes to little things.”

My phone buzzed again, but I ignored it. Hers buzzed too and she pulled it out. After quickly typing on her phone, she gave me her attention again. “Fine. You win.” Her phone buzzed again and she rolled her eyes. “What is he even doing up?”

“Who?” I asked, even though I knew who it was. I hadn’t answered his text soon enough, so he’d texted his daughter. The dude needed some form of medication and some
serious
help.

“My dad.” She stole a quick peek at me as she texted. “He’s kind of crazy protective.”

“No kidding.”

She snorted. “I wish I was kidding. It’s, like, after midnight there.”

“Where are you from?”

She froze, her fingers hovering over her iPhone screen. “Washington, D.C.”

“Nice.” I rocked back on my heels, slipping back into my role. It was time to play the part of interested friend again. Asking questions I already knew the answer to. “What does he do?”

“Oh, nothing too interesting.” She put her phone away and gave me a calculating stare. “Something to do with billing.”

Or
making
bills. “Oh, that sounds fun.”

“Not really,” she said, smiling. “It’s pretty boring. What do your parents do?”

“My mom died of cancer when I was sixteen.” I ignored the pang of pain I still felt at the loss. There was no use living in the past, and it would never go away. “My dad is in security.”

She placed a hand on my shoulder. “I’m so sorry for you loss. I can’t even imagine…”

I knew she was close with her mother. Much closer than she was to her father, who seemed determined to run her life for her, no matter how old she might be. “Thanks.”

“Can friends hug?”

“Hell yeah they can.”

She flung her arms around my neck, holding me close. For a second, my arms lingered at her hips, but then I let myself pull her close. I may have buried my face in her neck, but that was pure speculation I would deny even under torture if asked later.

She stepped back and grinned up at me. “So…surfing tomorrow?”

“Sure.” I headed toward her dorm room, but she didn’t follow me. I stopped walking. “Hello?’

She grinned. “Hi.”

“Why aren’t you coming with me?”

“I have to go back to the party.” She pointed over her shoulder. “Marie’s waiting for me. I promised her I wouldn’t leave early again.”

I stiffened. I didn’t like the thought of her hanging out with more guys like the one who’d just kissed her. “You’re going back to that place? To that guy?”

“Yeah, I can handle him.”

She started for the party, but I grabbed her elbow. “Don’t go. Those places are asking for trouble. What if something bad happens?”

She raised her brows. “What if it doesn’t?”

“At least let me go with you.”

“Nope.” She wiggled free and started walking again. “I want to be on my own. I’m ready to go back into the masses. If I’m going to be in college, I have to get used to this type of thing, right?”

“You don’t have to party to be in college,” I said tightly. “You can, ya know, study.”

“I plan on doing that.” She stopped on the steps of the party. The loud music came out the windows, and I could see a couple getting pretty hot and heavy almost directly behind her. Would that be her soon? “But tonight I’m being someone besides myself. And I’m going to go have some fun, even if it kills me.”

It might not kill her, but she might be the death of me.

She wiggled her fingers in my direction and disappeared inside the building. I stood there awkwardly, my hands in my pockets, and shifted on my feet so I could see her. She grabbed another wine cooler and made her way over to a young man sitting in the corner. He had blond hair and screamed of money.

He was probably born with a silver spoon in his mouth, just like Carrie. He wore high-quality clothing and his Rolex glinted in the dim lighting. The boy looked up at her as if she were a goddess and moved over so she could sit beside him. They conversed quietly, and then the boy laughed at something Carrie said.

While I watched from outside, like someone who didn’t belong.

Because I didn’t, in more ways than one.