Out Of The Ashes (The Ending Series, #3) (6 page)

“Everyone just needs time, Baby
Girl, including you. You’ll get the hang of it, and if not, they’ll warm up to
it eventually.”

“I sure hope so,” I muttered.

Tavis’s laughter rumbled on the
faint breeze, and I could hear him and Sam bantering back and forth. After a
quick glance around, I spotted them walking along the other side of the
reservoir, water jugs in their hands. The still water began to ripple, and I
realized I hadn’t noticed the wind pick up.

“Whatever,” Sam said.

I smiled as they drew closer.
Their companionable chatter was familiar, the one feeling I yearned for the
most. I welcomed the sense of comfort that came with the sounds of their
voices.

“Not true,” Tavis said with a
laugh as they approached. “You’d never beat me if it weren’t for your Ability,
mate, and that’s a fact.”

Sam sighed, his annoyance making
me smile. “You’re just using that as an excuse.”

“As if!” Tavis said with half a
laugh.

“Even Zoe’s a better shot than
you,” Sam said. “At least she
was
.”

Tavis stopped mid-step, appalled
by Sam’s comment. “Not even true, and your Ability gives you an unfair
advantage.”

Sam laughed. “You’re just mad
because you don’t know what your
Ability is yet.”

“What? Grayson doesn’t know what
his Ability is either.” Narrowing his eyes to slits, Tavis tried not to smile.
“Maybe we’re Crazies…”

“That’s what
I
was
thinking,” Sam said.

Looking to me and Harper, Tavis
shook his head. “Can you believe this kid? He has supersonic hearing and can
see a mile away, and he thinks I’m using it as an excuse.”

Unbidden, a soft chuckle escaped
from my throat. “I just don’t understand why you’re not improving your archery
skills, Tavis. I mean, Sam seems like a good teacher. Maybe it
is
you.”

“I can’t bloody believe it,” Tavis
said, peering up into the sky and spreading his arms like someone might
actually care enough about his aiming issues to listen. “I taught the kid everything
he knows, and suddenly
I’m
the one who needs to practice.” He tsked and
shook his head. “Cheeky little bugger.”
A
wolfish grin spread across his face, and he and Sam sauntered closer, stopping
beside Harper and me.

Harper rumpled my hair, messing up
my ponytail. “If you’re alright, Baby Girl, I’m gonna head back to camp.” He
glanced at Chris again, who was still standing with Jason and Carlos, before he
turned to Tavis. “Her Ability’s back online,” he cautioned, and I sighed
involuntarily.
My presence warrants a warning now—great.

Taking a deep breath, I tried to
remind myself that while others’ memories helped me feel a little more like a
member of the group, being so emotionally exposed wasn’t something most people would
appreciate.

“Do you remember us yet?” Sam
asked as he crouched and picked at the burs in his shoestrings.

I bit at the inside of my cheek
and felt my eyebrows draw together. “No,” I admitted. “Not yet.” I didn’t
bother telling him that I knew he’d won his first blue ribbon in a relay race
in third grade, and that his sister, Anastasia, had been born a year and half
ago, and that his father had died from the Virus right before his mother had
been raped and killed by Crazies. I knew all of that, but had no recollection
of him from
my
past. “But do you think you can work with me on my
archery? From what Harper tells me, I used be a decent shot. I could use a
skill or a pastime or…something, at least until my memories get sorted out.”

Sam peered up at me. “Yeah, we
might as well.” He paused, squinting one eye as he studied me. “Do you think
you’ll
really
get your memories back?”

Shrugging, I said, “I’m not really
sure. I’m still trying to piece things together. It’s weird to see myself with
everyone…to watch their memories play out like a movie, but still not actually
recall any of it.”

Tavis crossed his arms over his
chest and stared at me, contemplating. “Why not stop trying to figure out the
past, and try embracing the way things are now? You can’t change anything
that’s happened, and you have no idea how long this ‘issue’ might last. You
might never be your old self again,” he said matter-of-factly.

I looked into Tavis’s inquisitive
blue eyes. “I haven’t thought about it like that.”

“Well,” Sam said, “I want you to
get your memory back.”

“Yeah? And why’s that?” I asked.

Sam took a deep, thoughtful
breath. “For starters, you can’t hold up your part of our deal like this,” he
said somberly.

“Our deal?”

“Yeah.” He shrugged. “You’re
supposed to teach me how to draw, and I’m supposed to help you with your
archery.” Sam seemed annoyed by the inconvenience of my memory loss, but I
could tell he was more disappointed than upset with me.

“Well,” I ventured, “I can try—”

Sam was shaking his head before I
could even finish my train of thought.

“No?”

He looked at me, a yeah-right
expression on his face. “Do you even know if you can still draw?”

I feigned offense. “Well, no, not
exactly. I haven’t thought to try. I can still do other things.”

“Just trust me,” Sam said.

“Well, you’re an…honest kid, I’ll
give you that much. There’s no beating around the bush with you.”

Sam only shrugged again, and Tavis
chuckled.

“Sam keeps things interesting,” Tavis
said, his tone more affectionate than I thought he realized, and a great big
smile engulfed my face. Being around them made me happy; it was a welcome
distraction from the awkwardness I felt around the others.

“A girl could get used to hanging
out with the two of you,” I said.

It was then that I noticed Jake
and Cooper striding over from the other side of the pond. Jake’s gaze shifted
between Tavis and me.

The look in his eyes sobered me
instantly. There was something about him, regardless of the fact that I
couldn’t remember him or the “us” I’d been told about, that made my insides
flutter with anticipation. I took a step closer to him.

“Hi,” I said a little breathily.
We’d barely spoken, and I always seemed to struggle with what to say to him.

Being around him made me want more
than ever to have my memories back, to be able to understand the feelings I
thought I could almost feel somewhere deep inside me whenever he was nearby.
Or
is it all just in my head?
It was impossible to say, but I wished, more
than was probably healthy, that one day I might know.

If we were a couple, I should
just
talk
to him.
I didn’t see any
harm in that. He didn’t bite…at least not that I was aware of.

Jake’s eyes passed over Sam and
Tavis to land on me, and a tight smile pulled at his lips. His dark gaze
focused on me like he was trying to see inside me, trying to figure me out.

“Hey, Coop,” Sam called and
shuffled over to the husky, patting the dog’s head and rumpling his scruffy
neck. “Wanna play fetch?”

Jake smiled down at Sam as the boy
fawned over Cooper, but I wondered what brewed beneath the surface of Jake’s
composed demeanor. His eyes were telling, I just hadn’t figured out how to read
them yet.

Just as I was about to push away
from the tree I was leaning against, Sam jumped up to his feet, brushing his
hands off on his pants. “Did you hear? Zoe’s Ability’s back.”

Jake’s smile faltered, and his
gaze darted from Sam to me. “No,” he said. “I didn’t.” His hands flexed at his
sides.

“Not her memory yet, but the rest
of her.”

I thought I should probably talk
to Jake about
us
before too much more time passed and the distance
continued to grow between us. But just as I was about to ask him if we could go
somewhere to talk, he turned and walked away, calling for Cooper over his
shoulder.

Slouching back against the tree, I
sighed.
Or not.

5

JAKE

MARCH 28, 1AE

San Juan National Forest
, Colorado

Lost in a tornado of thought, Jake
swung an archaic, rusted axe, splintering the last of the firewood into
stackable, burnable pieces—probably more pieces than were actually necessary.
His palms were raw, but he welcomed the burn, the distraction.

The sun had just set behind the
serrated mountaintops, and the brisk, evening air against his sweat-dampened
skin helped take the edge off of a day filled with problematic surprises.

Jake crouched and gathered as much
of the firewood into his arms as he could carry and headed over to the wood
stacked on top of one of the carts. Cooper raised his head from snoozing, no
doubt hopeful it was time to go lie by the campfire, where it was warm and
there were plenty of people to pet him.

“Not yet, buddy,” Jake said as he
unloaded the armful of wood.

Watching Zoe, wondering what the
hell she was thinking, had become almost unbearable over the past week. Simply
talking to her about what had happened, about
them
, proved harder than
he’d imagined. If she wasn’t laughing with Tavis, she was with Dani learning
the ropes in their new world, or Chris was prodding around in Zoe’s brain,
trying to figure out exactly how much damage Clara had done.
And since the blood transfusion they’d tried a few nights
ago hadn’t done a damn thing to repair her shattered memory
, he was beginning to lose hope that she would
ever
be the same.

The good things are worth
fighting for,
Joe, his guardian during the
year after his mom died, had told him once. It was a motto Jake lived by, but
now
that Zoe’s Ability was back, Jake wasn’t
sure fighting for her was the best thing for her. He was worried about what she
might feel or see when she was around him, and he didn’t want to scare the hell
out of her before she even had time to get to know him—or herself—again.

But Zoe wasn’t the only complication
he was dealing with. Having Gabe
and
Becca suddenly back in his life was
almost more than he could handle. His sister was still different, and looked at
him like he was a complete stranger.
And
Gabe…Jake shook his head. He didn’t want to think about Gabe, which was easy
enough.

As usual, his thoughts returned to
Zoe. Over the months he’d known the teal-eyed, raven-haired beauty, she’d
become his home. But she didn’t tease him anymore, and her maddening
stubbornness and innate devotion to those she loved was nonexistent.

Resting the axe on its head, Jake
let the handle fall to the ground. He exhaled and scrubbed both hands over his
stubbled face.

A shadowed figure came toward him
from the copse of trees a few dozen yards away. Cooper was up and running
toward it before Jake even realized it was Gabe. He was carrying an armful of
firewood that he let fall to the ground as he stopped in front of Jake.

Needing to put some distance
between them, Jake decided it was time to call it a night, and he reached for
his jacket draped over the cart.

“I need you to know something,”
Gabe said quietly. Jake turned around to find Gabe crouched and leaning on the discarded
axe.

Jake clenched his jaw,
contemplating whether or not it would be best to simply walk away.

Gabe sighed and rested one elbow
on his knee, letting his hand drape in front of him. “I know you won’t forgive
me,” he said. “But I
am
sorry. I didn’t want any of this to happen. If
I’d known what Becca was going to do…” After a short pause, he shook his head.
“I did everything I could to help her in the Colony.”

“And Dani?”

Gabe let a despondent chuckle
escape from his throat. “Like I had a choice? Don’t you get it? I
had
to
bring her in—to protect your sister.” In an instant, Gabe was on his feet. “
Everything
I’ve done has been to protect Becca. The General—he would have
tortured
her.
He
did
torture her. If I hadn’t brought him a two-way telepath…you don’t
want to know…” Seeming to deflate, Gabe let out a humorless laugh. “And poor
Dani was the one to pay for my loyalty to Becca…to you.”

“Loyalty? Loyalty would have been
telling us what the hell was going on in the first place, not bringing armed
fucking soldiers into my house…not letting them knock me out, then disappearing
and taking my sister’s body with you.” Jake gestured toward the campfire, where
everyone was gathered. “What happened to Dani isn’t on me and Becca—it’s on
you.”

For a moment, Gabe said nothing.
“I know.”

His hopeless tone affected Jake
more than he wanted it to. “How the hell did you get yourself in this mess to
begin with?”

Gabe looked at Jake, his eyes
silver in the moonlight. “I’d been researching Abilities for a while, but I
didn’t know about the General’s plan until the Virus was already spreading.
When you called and told me Becca was sick, it was right when I’d started
putting the pieces together…” He looked away. “They wouldn’t let me off base
without an armed escort. I came—brought
them
—because I wanted to help
her, and I didn’t have much of a choice.”

Jake pinned Gabe in place with an
accusatory glare and allowed himself to ask the one question that outweighed
all others. “Did you know they’d turn Becca into a Re-gen?”

Gabe returned his glare. “No,
Jake, I didn’t. I didn’t know she’d kill herself, either, or that they’d knock
you out or appropriate her body.” He was breathing harder. “Do you know how I
left your house that night?” He paused. “At gunpoint. I wasn’t going to leave
you, not passed out…I thought you were dying, but there was nothing I could do.
I couldn’t let them take Becca. I was barely able to write that goddamn note before
I was
escorted
out.”

Jake was speechless, more than
stunned by Gabe’s admission.

Gabe sighed, and his voice
softened. “In case you lived…I needed to warn you, and I knew you would go to
the gun cabinet.” He was quiet for a moment, leaving Jake’s thoughts to reel.
Finally, he took a deep breath. “You’re my brother in every way that matters,
Jake—always have been, and always will be. Nothing could change that, not even
you hating me for the rest of your life.”

Jake leaned against the cart,
crossed his arms over his chest, and sighed, expelling months’ worth of anger
and betrayal and hurt. Having no idea what to say, he stood there in awe, the
orchestra of crickets the only thing filling the silence. He was surprised by
how quickly things seemed to shift, and how grateful he suddenly felt to be
standing only a few yards away from his friend again, despite all that had
happened.

Jake shook his head. “What does
Becca know?”

Gabe shook his head, and he ran
his hand through his loose hair, a nervous habit he’d had since childhood.
“Nothing. She has no idea who I am, or that I’ve been looking out for her. To
her, I’m just Dr. McLaughlin.” He lowered his hand. “And I swear I had nothing
to do with what happened to Zoe. If I could do something, help somehow—”

“I know,” Jake said. He knew Clara
hadn’t needed any incentive to hurt Zoe. “I know,” he repeated. Not wanting to
think about all the bad decisions
he’d
made and how they kept returning
to bite him in the ass, Jake grabbed his jacket. “Thank you,” he said and turned
to head back to camp. “Come on, Coop.”

Voices and laughter carried on the
breeze as Jake drew closer to camp. Cooper rushed past him, heading straight
for Becca and Carlos, who were chatting by the chuck wagon. Despite Jake’s best
efforts, his eyes automatically sought out Zoe. She was sitting by the fire,
her hair wet and hanging around her shoulders. Sam was sitting beside her, and
both had pencils in their hands and sketchbooks on their laps.

Jake’s heart ached at the sight of
her smiling with the kid. And when he noticed Tavis leaning over Sam’s
shoulder, misery cemented in the pit of his stomach.

As if he’d voiced the thought,
Zoe’s gaze shifted up to his. Her smile vanished, making him feel like an
intruder, and her eyes grew wide and questioning. Instinctively, he offered her
a curt nod before he turned and strode for his tent.

“Hello,” came a soft, raspy voice.

Jake turned around to find Becca
standing directly behind him. He let out a shaky breath. He was still getting
used to seeing his sister’s gray eyes, no longer the violet color he’d been
used to growing up.

Jake’s hands found his pockets as
he stood there, feeling an uneasy excitement.

“Are you hungry?” she asked,
offering him a bowl of stew. “I noticed that you have not eaten much today, and
you have been overworking yourself.”

He eyed her curiously, wondering
if it was concern that slightly changed the cadence of her voice. “Aren’t
you
hungry?” He gestured to the bowl.

Becca smiled timidly and shook her
head, her wavy brown hair brushing against her shoulders. “I’ve already eaten.
This”—she took a step closer—“is for you.” Her eyes shifted between Jake and
the bowl. “Please, take it.”

Realizing she might take his
surprise as some sort of rejection of her kindness, Jake offered her a grateful
smile. “I’m starving. Thanks.” He wrapped his fingers around the warm bowl and
walked back toward the fire, lowering himself into an empty chair and accepting
a red- and white-checkered napkin from Becca as well.

“Sarah has been teaching me how to
cook,” Becca said as she pulled over a chair to sit beside him. A faint scent
of herbs wafted off of her.

Becca had never been much of a
cook; neither of them had, and Jake wondered if that happened to be the only
thing about her that hadn’t changed. He stared down into the bowl and then back
up at her, hesitant.

When her eyes met his again, they
were expectant.

Clearing his throat, Jake took a
deep breath, leaned forward, and put a spoonful of stew into his mouth. The
broth was warm and salty…and surprisingly delicious. He looked at his sister
askance.

She was fidgeting beside him,
worrying her bottom lip. “Well,” she said, “what do you think?”

After chewing and swallowing a
hunk of meat, Jake took another bite. “It’s good,” he said, proud of Becca’s
effort to become part of the group. He was comforted by the fact that she was
going to the trouble to have a conversation with him, too. “It’s really good.”

Becca smiled. “I am glad.”

“You like cooking, then?” he
asked, taking another mouthful.

Her brow furrowed, and she looked
at his bowl thoughtfully. “I think I do,” she said. “At least, I do not
dislike
it.”

“Good.” He offered her a
reassuring smile before taking another bite.

Becca sat beside him while he ate,
watching him intently. Although he wondered what she was thinking, he didn’t
want to push her, so he sat with her in companionable silence.

“Jake,” she finally said.

His gaze shifted to her as he
swallowed another spoonful.

“I wanted you to know that I am
sorry.”

Nearly choking, he set his spoon
down and wiped his mouth with his napkin. “You’re sorry for what?” he asked.

Becca’s eyes focused on his. “For
not remembering.”

Jake was the one who’d gotten her
into this mess. He looked away from her and into the fire, frustration
resurfacing as the events of the past couple months came crashing back down on
him. “It’s not your fault, Becca. None of this is. I should’ve—”

“Perhaps not,” she interrupted and
placed her hand on his arm. “But it still hurts you.”

Jake was surprised she cared much
about that; she’d been reticent to believe all he’d told her about her past in
the first place.

“Although I do not have strong
emotions like you and some of the others seem to have, I cannot imagine what it
must be like to have me sitting beside you with no recollection of our past
together. And now…” her eyes traveled over to Zoe.

Jake’s chest tightened.

“I know it is not easy for you,
and I am sorry there is nothing I can do to help.”

Her final words to him the night
she’d bled out in his arms coalesced in his mind, and he wanted so badly to
know something. “You told me, that night—the last night I saw you—that I would
save her, but that I would also kill her.” He paused. “Do you have any idea why
you said that or what it meant?” Every time Jake thought the moment Becca had
warned him of had come and gone and that Zoe would finally be safe, something
would happen that would make him doubt the danger had past.

Becca closed her eyes and shook
her head. “No, I am sorry.”

Appetite waning, Jake set the
half-eaten bowl in his lap. “You don’t have to be sorry, Becca. You—”

“The way you look at her,” Becca
interrupted him again. “You keep your distance when you should not.”

Jake collected himself, a little
stunned by Becca’s adamancy, then his gaze darted to Zoe once again. Like
before, her eyes drifted to his. “I don’t want to scare her,” he admitted.