Out of the Blue (19 page)

“Fine. I’ll race you down.”

Molly opened the stairwell door and raced off the top step. The elevator dinged and the doors closed with a thud. She wouldn’t make it in single steps, so she started trying to hit every other one. Suddenly she was airborne. Her foot couldn’t find traction. She fell forward, but didn’t stop falling. Felt pain shoot up her arm as she tumbled, then finally stopped, upside down on the stairs. The ceiling went dark.

“Molly.” Justin said the name over and over, but she didn’t stir. He didn’t want to move her in case there were injuries he could make worse. “Molly please wake up.”

He pulled out his phone to call the paramedics. She hadn’t beaten him down the stairs, so he’d gone to find her. And he had, sprawled on the stairs with her arm at an unnatural angle.

“Justin?” She finally opened an eye.

From the instant he’d seen her to the moment she’d spoken, he’d felt like his heartbeat had frozen. Now it seemed to be catching up with double beats. He hadn’t thought her being injured could cause a reaction like that.

“Molly, I’m just calling the paramedics. They’ll be here soon.”

He called them and explained, then sat and waited for what felt like forever. She didn’t say anything else. What if she had hit her head? What if she didn’t wake up? What if she couldn’t walk? What if she didn’t remember him next time she saw him? Didn’t remember the last few months together, the few years of friendship before he’d left?

He wouldn’t mind if she could just forget the time he left, but supposed she didn’t deserve to lose five years of her life. Why had he ever left? She’d been the best friend, the only woman who understood him. The reason he was strong enough to face Valerie. The only one to stand up for him.

Even after he’d tried to push her away, the only one to keep him as a friend, to never ask for more. And he’d kept pushing her away. Kept assuring himself that the care he had for her was nurturing, non-romantic. Was the panic and pain he was feeling now really accurate to how he’d feel if a brother or sister was injured? He didn’t think so.

He didn’t think he’d be panicking about what he wanted to say, how he wanted to change, and all the things he wanted to tell her. Maybe he would, but he certainly felt he had things to tell her that weren’t right for a family member.

She was his family now, but not the kind you visited on Thanksgiving. The kind you made your own family with, the kind you organized Thanksgiving with, the kind you made plans for the rest of your life with.

In that moment, waiting for the sirens, imagining a future without her, Justin didn’t care that he wasn’t normal or that someone else could offer her more.

He didn’t care that he didn’t understand love, that she scared him with the way she cared.

He simply wanted her better. And when she was, he wanted to hold her and never let go. He tried not to hit his head on the doorway. It felt like the ambulance would never come.

Chapter 13

M
olly woke feeling like she was still in a dream. The air seemed to swim around her, drawing odd sounds into the currents around her. She tried to sit up, and her head flashed in pain. She turned and felt sharp pain in her arm. It didn’t move. She was encased, trapped. No, just her arm.

“What’s going on?” She tried to push the words out, but it was like squeezing Play-Doh through a spaghetti strainer, a lot got left behind.

“They set your arm,” someone roared from behind her. She flinched away from the noise.

“Shh. That was loud, you blockhead.” That was Nicole.

“Sorry,” Justin said.

“Jufun?” She squinted and tried to find him. He came around the front of the bed. The water between her and everything else was starting to smooth. “What happened?”

“You broke your arm,” he said. “You had to be sedated so they could put pins in it. You must have really fragile bones.”

“Shanks,” she said.

Nicole came around now, leaned over the bed carefully and hugged the side of Molly that wasn’t in pain. “You did great.”

“I wasn’t conshous,” she said. She wished her speech were more reliable.

“Justin called me,” Nicole said.

“Head hurts. Need to sleep.”

“The anesthetic,” Justin said quietly. “You can go back to sleep if you want.”

“Good. Sleepy,” she said. She lay back and waited for the headache to stop, closed her eyes.

When she opened them again, she felt significantly less drowsy, but more hung-over. From the window across the room she could see it was dark outside. Where had everyone gone? She took a few deep breaths and blinked a few times and tried to focus. She looked down at the stiff feeling in her arm and saw a cast. Purple. Who had chosen purple? Now she would look stupid at work.

“Molly?” Nicole rolled forward on a chair. “How are you feeling now?”

“Sick,” Molly said.

“Are you hungry?”

“In a pukey kind of way. How long has it been?”

“I don’t know. What were you doing on the stairs?”

“Tripped,” Molly said. “When did Justin go?”

Nicole shook her head. Pointed across the room. Molly followed her direction to see Justin slumped on a stool, soft hair falling over his face as he slept.

“Peaceful,” She felt a bit disappointed.

“No. I wouldn’t call him that,” Nicole said. “He just wore himself out fighting with the doctors. You really messed him up.”

“I did?”

“Did not,” Justin said, pulling up his head and looking as miserable as Molly felt. Deep lines scored under his eyes, which were red and dull. “Incompetence everywhere. Had to deal with it.”

“They were just fine,” Nicole said. “Unlike Justin, they knew exactly what to do.”

“They were too rough. They hurt her.”

While Justin continued to argue and Nicole shook her head and rolled her eyes, Molly grew warm with embarrassment. She’d ruined their day and gotten them stuck in a hospital, and now they were arguing.

“Stop it you two. Can someone get me something to eat?”

“Sure.” Justin walked out.

“He didn’t ask what I wanted.”

Nicole rolled up closer and leaned in. “He was really messed up. I think he really feels something for you Molly. Honestly, even Sean wouldn’t have been more protective if I was in the same situation.”

Molly didn’t think that was possible. “Protective how?”

“Called the ambulance, got in everyone’s way, constantly bothering the paramedics and staff, wanted to stay with you the entire time. Looked like he was losing everything he cared for in the world.” Nicole looked out to the window. “In all the time I’ve known him, I’d never thought he could look like that. Just completely broken.”

“It’s just a broken arm,” she said, feeling the full implication of this injury on her job as she said it.

“It didn’t look like it,” Nicole said. “You were incoherent.”

“I forgot to ask what you wanted.” Justin popped back around the front of her bed. “Sorry.”

“Anything is fine,” she said.

“No milk,” Nicole said. “Nothing hard to digest.”

Justin scratched his head then ran off again.

“Just look at him now,” Nicole said. “What a mess.”

“I guess so,” Molly said. “But you’re wrong. He doesn’t care about me any more than he does you or Sean.”

“That’s such bull,” Nicole said. “He’s acting like a lunatic. I wish I had it on camera to show you, and even him, if he wants to say he doesn’t like you again.”

“He does,” Molly said. “He’s kind of become my family. Maybe it’s the same for him.”

“I didn’t realize you two were so close.”

“We were before he left the first time. Did I ever tell you how he saved me from my professor?”

“No. Sounds like a great story. You sure you feel up to telling it?”

“Not much to tell. Justin had been trying to pull me out of my shell for two years. I was a loner. I went to a professor alone even though Justin warned me about stuff he’d heard about him. I ignored him. The professor attacked me. Justin came in and stopped him. Beat him silly.”

“Wow. Sounds like he liked you even then.”

“No, that’s just the kind of person he is. He’d have done it for anyone. He hates anyone who abuses —he hates bullies.”

“I see. You know, he helped me once too, but it didn’t look anything like that?”

“What did it look like?”

“He just asked him to stop. The guy hit him. Then Sean stepped in.”

That did sound a lot more passive than Justin acted around her.

Maybe Justin himself didn’t know what he wanted.

“You two old biddies just going to sit here and discuss my heroism?”

“Ha. Hardly heroism,” Nicole retorted.

“Ouch. Excuse me for annoying you.”

“All right, it sounds like you were a bit more heroic a few years ago,” Nicole said, rolling over to take the food from him.

He dodged her and brought it to Molly. She looked down at an impossibly loaded tray. Did he just get one of everything in the cafeteria?

“I can’t eat this.”

“You need strength,” Justin said.

Molly looked at Nicole, who smiled and rested her chin in her hands as if to say ‘I told you so.’ Molly wanted to smack her. Smack Justin. Smack this whole confusing world full of people who cared and people who cared more than they would admit. But she found herself being too touched by the ridiculous tray in front of her and the fact that they would stay with her till it was so late. She selected a pudding.

“The nurse said it was okay,” Justin said to Nicole.

Molly opened it. “So when am I okay to go home?”

“As soon as you feel okay to walk out.”

“I’m going to wheel her,” he said.

“She has to be able to walk into the house,” Nicole said. “Do you want to stay?”

“Are you kidding?” Molly asked. “I need to leave.”

“I can stay with you tonight,” Nicole said.

Molly looked at Justin. Justin bit his lip and looked over at Nicole.

“Oh no you don’t. Don’t turn those puppy dog eyes on me. No way I’m letting you stay with her. I don’t trust you.”

Molly cleared her throat and watched the window intently, abandoning Justin to Nicole.

“Wait,” Nicole said. “What are you not telling me?”

Justin wheeled a bit away from Nicole, to the other side of Molly, leaving her between him and Nicole. Traitor. “I’ve sort of been staying with her.”

“You what?”

“Not so loud,” Molly said, putting her one good arm up to steady her head. “Is the doctor going to come give me info on my arm, or what?”

“Yeah,” Nicole said. “I’ll go find him. And then you two are going to explain what is going on while I drive you home.”

Molly looked over at Justin. He watched Nicole till she left, then stood and walked over to look out the hallway, probably to see how long it would take for the doctor to come. When he came back, he walked over to the window instead of sitting beside her, and let out a loud, dramatic breath.

“I’m sorry if I made you worry.”

“Yeah, you were a total jerk about it,” he said.

“Well I’m sorry.”

His shoulders folded forward. “I was so worried.” He said. “I thought something was really wrong, you little wretch.”

“Well my bad for injuring myself brutally. ‘Cause I totally meant to and all that.”

“How could you be so careless?”

“You mean take the stairs?”

“No, racing. What were you even thinking?”

“You aren’t my mom Justin; you don’t get to scold me.”

“You scared me.” He came away from the window, came to the bed, put his arms around her waist, his head against her stomach. She gasped. “You scared me so bad Molly. Don’t do that again.”

She didn’t know what to say. She put her left arm down to touch his hair. He didn’t push it away, or shake her off, or make a comment about how he didn’t like her that way and she wasn’t allowed to like him either. Didn’t call her family, didn’t make any moves. Just stayed there clenched against her heartbeat. It felt oddly intimate. She didn’t know how to move him. She heard footsteps down the hall, but before she could point it out to him, he had pulled smoothly away, not jarring her. She turned to meet the doctor.

~~~

Nicole dropped them off at the doorstep after only a few grumbles about impropriety. Molly wanted to unlock the door, fumbling though it was with her left hand, but Justin took her keys and did it himself. It frustrated her. She didn’t like the way letting him take care of her felt vaguely sexual. Perhaps she’d hit the limit of things she could do with Justin without getting feelings or feeling that this wasn’t appropriate for two friends.

She wasn’t at all worried he would take advantage of her like this. Such a thing seemed as likely as a snail winning the 100-yard dash. She wished he was just a little less safe in that way. Justin as a risk, that was kind of hot. She wondered what kind of meds she’d been given that let her head wander like that.

“Should I just set you up right here?” Justin led her to the couch.

“No. My bed.”

“I’d rather you were out here so I could keep an eye on you through the night.”

“You don’t need to stay tonight Justin,” Molly said.

“Shut up,” he said. “As if I’d leave you like this. It’s sort of my fault, after all.”

“I don’t need you to stay tonight,” she said.

“Too bad. I’m staying.”

“No. Justin, I can take care of myself. You need to go.”

He stopped, dropped the blankets and came over to perch on the side of the couch opposite the one she sat on.

“Why are you doing this? It’s not safe here alone. What if you need something?”

“I have my other arm.”

“You didn’t have a problem with this before.”

But she just wanted him gone. She just wanted him out. It was his fault she was like this, if she thought about it. His fault that she was sitting here having stupid feelings about him. He’d been protective, kissed her, stayed with her overnight, fought doctors for her, and she couldn’t have him. She couldn’t deal with that and a broken arm at the same time.

“Molly?”

“I just need you to go.”

“Molly, I need to talk to you.” He stood and moved over to her couch, and she scooted away slightly. “I realized things today. I have a lot to think about, okay?”