Out of the Blues (13 page)

Chapter Seventeen

Mason in treble.

I had him on my skin. I could smell him, I could feel him. I sat in a window seat in the small ballroom where Harper’s reception would take place Saturday night. I had Cody spread out all around me and I had Kilby on my skin.

The guitar weighed heavy in my hands and I stumbled over the new strings that were delivered while I was…out by the lake with Kilby. My fingers fretting on the fret.

Ha.

I didn’t laugh.

I was wearing sex on my skin and I was sitting in public because I was hiding from the man who would be upstairs in the shower in the room we shared. I’d seen him completely nude, twice now. He…I tried not to think about what he would look like with hot water sluicing over his…god I wanted to go upstairs and wash the spunk off me. I wanted to wear it forever. I had no fucking clue what I wanted to do. I did. I wanted to fuck Kilby Adams hard and I didn’t care who heard.

I could smell smoke from the barbecue pit through the open windows. I hadn’t smelled anything like that since I moved to California. Not real pit. Charcoal or gas barbecues didn’t count. That wasn’t smoking meats, that was charring tofu burgers. I missed pulled pork and coleslaw and cornbread.

I struggled with the chord change in one of Cody’s songs. My fingers ached from playing. Night was beginning to creep in and the family was returning from wherever they’d gone to for the day.

I hadn’t seen anyone yet. No one disturbed me but staff and I kept telling them I was fine. I wondered what I looked like since they kept asking. Not that I cared, not really.

“Rough day?” Harper pulled a chair up and sat across from me. I hadn’t heard her come in. She looked worn out and pissed off.

“Are you asking or telling?” Because I could say the same back to her if she was asking.

“Both, I guess.” She reached for a sheet of music, but I beat her to it and stashed it all back in the notebook. I did not want her seeing the pieces I’d picked out. I wanted the music to be a surprise, maybe my way of giving her a gift from Cody. “Hey,” she complained.

“No peeking,” I reprimanded her. “So, what’s your damage?”

“Mother,” she said even though I knew that would be the answer.

“Still?” I strummed out a chord that stuck in my head. I had no idea where I’d heard it before.

“Always,” she sighed, kicking her shoes off and putting her feet up on the seat where the music had been. “That’s pretty. Whose is it?”

“Don’t know.” I continued to play with the tune in my head, trying to bring it out on the strings until I got frustrated and set the guitar down.

“That’s Cody’s,” she said eyeing the instrument.

“It is.” I know she knew I had everything stored around here. We didn’t talk about what I had and what she didn’t. “That one you bought off that kid was a piece of shit.”

She grinned. “But it got you to play again. Money well spent.”

“I’ll pay you back,” I said, wrapping my arms over my chest because I didn’t want her suspecting what I was wearing on my skin under my shirt.

“Meh.” She waved away my offer. “I have too much fucking money.”

I had more, we both knew it. I didn’t like that I had more. She never seemed to care. “Would you rather not have money?” I asked because sometimes I thought about giving it all away and backpacking through Europe or something extreme like that. Or fucking a dude. I had a dude somewhere around here and Europe was hell and gone from Georgia.

She played with the hair that had escaped the ponytail while she stared at me as if I’d lost my damned mind. “Money makes everything nicer.” For the first time in her life she sounded exactly like Arden and I didn’t think she was being sarcastic. “But…would you really rather be poor?”

I struggled with my answer. Yes and no. I couldn’t explain what I wanted to my sister any more than I could to myself. “Sometimes,” I said listening to the geese flying overhead, heading to wherever they were heading this time of night. “But sometimes there’s not enough to feel safe you know.”

“Safe from what?” She looked at me as if she didn’t know me. Yesterday I knew me, I was the person I’d always been. Today I had no idea who I was or what I was doing and I was questioning everything.

“Becoming Mother,” I said and meant it.

She moved over to the window seat and pulled her knees up under her chin so she would fit. God, she was beautiful. Like the best of Doug and Arden all rolled into one perfect woman. Her hair was lighter than mine, but she, like Arden helped that along with monthly trips to the salon. We weren’t identical in any way, but we were the same, sometimes too much the same.

“I like your Hunter,” I told her to ease the silence. “We had lunch, he’s a good guy.”

“He said y’all went for hookers,” she said with a mock scowl.

“Where the fuck are there hookers around here?” I asked then thought better of that question. “Don’t answer that.”

She laughed. I loved hearing her laugh. “Considering you look like you found the right street corner all on your own?” That was a shock, did I look like I’d hooked up with a hooker?

I raised a questioning brow at her, and she raised hers just to be pissy. “What the hell are you talking about?” I heard Arden slip out of my mouth and realized that she could tell I was hiding something by how much of my mother spewed from my vocal cords. Her eyebrow went higher, if that was possible.

“Kilby is absolutely stunning, isn’t he? I’d seen pictures of him over the years, but meeting him…” she paused to lick her lips. “He’s dreamy, I picked the wrong brother.”

“Oh…kay.” I looked at her like she’d lost her damned mind.

“Oh my god, Mace, seriously?” She channeled Arden then.

“Seriously? Seriously what? Stop playing, Harper, and just say what you’re hinting at.” I didn’t want to hear it from her, but goddamn, I was tired of it always being there.

“You kissed him, he’s gorgeous, I want you to be happy, and he’s gay,” she said helpfully as if I didn’t know that already.

“So he’s gay, doesn’t mean I kissed him, or that he kissed me, or that we’re doing more than being forced to share a room. Because my delightful sister couldn’t hold an extra room for her only damned brother.” I avoided like I have never avoided before. “I am not gay, Harper. You of all people should know this.”

She seemed stunned. Her lips parted as if she was surprised. I think I hated my sister more than anyone in that moment. “I know that,” she said quickly, but she didn’t seem sure. “I was only teasing. He is pretty.”

“He is,” I said because I wasn’t blind and I could admire male beauty when I saw it. “He’s really pretty for a jarhead.”

“I like his tattoos, Hunter doesn’t have a single tat, and Kilby has full sleeves.” She almost purred.

“Not just sleeves, he’s tattooed all over,” I said without thinking and looked up in time to catch her knowing glance. “What? We share a bathroom, too. He took a shower. Towels don’t hide much. Jesus, Harper.”

“Okay, I’ll leave it alone,” she said stifling a yawn.

“I’d appreciate it. He’s a nice guy, don’t make mountains out of flatlands.” I noticed the sun had disappeared over the horizon and the sky had turned a spectacular shade of orange before it gave way to shades of pink. “What time does this thing start?”

I was hungry, hell, I was starving. Sex with Kilby made me ravenous. If he lived anywhere near me I’d…oh fuck, no, I was not thinking that maybe if, no. Hell no.

“Seven. It’s about six now.”

“Time changes this weekend, we’re falling back. Sun will be going down around five soon. I hate fall for that very reason. Long nights with nothing to do. Soon it’s going to be cold.”

“And no one to keep you warm.” She patted my knee and winked. “I’m going up to shower. I swear Mother tried to drown me in perfume. My eyes are still watering.”

I didn’t need anyone to keep me warm. “Yeah, me too. See you in a while.”

I watched my sister saunter away before picking up my things and heading up the stairs to the third floor. I took the stairs. I didn’t want to end up on the elevator with Harper while I was wondering where Kilby was and if he was still in the shower…and naked and…what his tattoos would taste like under water…fuck me.

I wasn’t quiet taking out my key and trying to balance everything, I wanted to give Kilby warning that I was about to come in. I found him face down in the bed, sound asleep. And completely naked. He had the most perfect ass I’d ever seen on a living creature.

Jesus.

My dick twitched with serious interest.

I hated my dick.

I needed a shower and the man was asleep. Who was I to interrupt him? He’d tried so hard to be quiet yesterday when he’d come in and…that was just yesterday? I’d just met the man yesterday and I was already…already what?

I put my guitar against the wall near the door and made sure we were locked in. I stripped on the way to the bathroom and started the water. I’d left all of my things in the room the night before. I thought about shaving. I didn’t really want to. I’d shave Saturday, otherwise I was on vacation and who the fuck shaved when they were on vacation?

I left my clothes in a pile by the sink and stepped under the water. I’d just been thinking about Kilby and the shower and the heat of the water licking at my flesh brought back images of last night when I’d licked beer off his stomach. I’d licked beer off a man’s stomach. I’d never even done that with a woman.

I was full on raging hard. Just thinking about my tongue gliding along the hard ridges of his abs, over soft skin, had me shaking. The image of him naked and asleep right outside the door came into my mind. I could so easily…what? So easily spread his ass and shove myself inside him? I was contemplating rape.

Jesus.

Didn’t that do absolutely nothing to decrease the blood in my dick.

I wanted to go out there and lick every single tattoo on his body, over the tight round swell of his ass and between, over his hole, his balls. I wanted to know what his dick tasted like. I wanted to hold him down and do everything to him…I wanted…Kilby. I was out of my fucking mind.

I grabbed the little bar of soap from the dish and lathered myself, I bit my lip when I washed my balls, and soaped my dick…so what if I kept going long after it was clean. I closed my eyes hoping to bring myself off. God, I needed to get off. I wasn’t going to touch Kilby Adams again, so help me. But I was not going to go around like this.

I closed my eyes on the image of his blue eyes looking up at me as my dick slid between his lush lips and I damn near collapsed. I held onto the wall with one hand and tried not to cry out Kilby’s name as I came on the shower floor.

Chapter Eighteen

Kilby’s wake-up call.

I knew the moment he walked into the room. He’d gotten under my skin. I lay still while he put his things down and went into the bathroom. This afternoon in the car…I rolled onto my back and pulled the covers over myself while I tried to figure out what was different about this afternoon with Mason in his car.

It was just sex. Good sex, but just sex. I kept telling myself he was too young and too confused and I was too fucking horny and he was available and it was just some guy I’d never see again and it was okay.

It wasn’t okay.

I wasn’t
that
guy. Not anymore. Maybe when I was twenty-five and heartbreak wasn’t something I knew anything about.

Mason wasn’t the kind to fuck around. Maybe he’d fucked around with girls, I didn’t know. I didn’t care. Maybe he’d go back to fucking around with girls when he went back to wherever it was he was hiding. And he was hiding that was for damned sure. He had a fucked up family and hadn’t grieved the loss of the only parent who seemed to give a shit about him personally. And I was that guy taking advantage of him. I never wanted to be that guy. Not again.

The shower came on after a minute or two of him trying to piss quietly, and fuck, these walls were thin. I could hear the shower curtain, not the hooks sliding over the rod, but the actual curtain rustling. I could hear him breathe. I could hear every splash of water as he moved around. I could hear him gasp. I could hear the slapping sound that could only be one thing, his slight moan, my name. Fuck.

And just like that, that guy that I swore to never be couldn’t control his own dick and I became that guy. Wanting something I shouldn’t even look at much less touch. And fuck, Mason Foxworth was a fucking lodestone, he drew me to him, from the very first moment he walked into that fucking coffee shop, I wanted him.

He finished quickly, soaping up again by the sound of the thumping of the soap on the floor and his muffled curse. I rolled back onto my stomach and slipped my hand under me. No way was I going to survive him walking out here in nothing but a towel. I had a couple of minutes at most, I could bring myself off. I humped into my hand. The sheets would be stained. I didn’t care. I was so fucking…I jumped when he ran his hand over my ass.

“Don’t stop on my account,” he said softly. Fuck, I hadn’t heard him come out of the bathroom. His touch was phantom soft. I pulled one knee up along the bed, spreading my ass open for him…I didn’t think he’d touch me there…I didn’t know what I wanted, I was acting on complete instinct with someone who may as well be a virgin for all he knew about men…or me.

I didn’t stop, I was too hard to stop. His hand on me was hot from the shower. I couldn’t see him, but I could hear him. His breathing had become labored. He caressed my ass and down my thigh and back up. I fucked my hand thinking about having him inside me and I arched into his touch.

I’d showered not long ago. I was clean. I wanted him to lick me, I wanted him to fuck me. I just wanted him. I’d be that guy for him. The one he needed so he’d know for sure. I’d be anything he wanted if he’d just fucking touch me.

The bed dipped and I opened my eyes to look over my shoulder. He had one knee on the bed, the towel around his waist was slipping. His dick already hard again. Fuck, he had stamina. He’d just jacked off in the shower and he was almost ready to go again… “There’s lube in the drawer,” I said helpfully. I hadn’t bought any. I think Hunter must have had a care package sent up. I didn’t want to think about what the concierge thought about that. It was nice stuff, too. Spa type oils and scented lubes and flavored condoms. I’d found it on the bed when I came in.

He stopped touching me then. He seemed to freeze. I looked over my shoulder to find him still half on the bed, looking at the bedside drawer with an expression of uncertainty…I pulled my other knee up spreading myself wide for him. I wanted him, he had to know that. All he had to do was take advantage. “I want to come with you inside me.”

The towel hit the floor. He hadn’t touched it, gravity proved it was still working. He also didn’t move. “Mason, fuck me.”

His dick went rigid as I watched over my shoulder. “Lube,” he whispered the word and I nodded.

“Lube, baby, get the lube that’s all you have to do. I’m already there. Just need you and lube to get the rest of the way.” He nodded and reached for the drawer. He pulled out the entire basket of goodies and fumbled with the bottles. He found something he liked and grabbed a condom. Not that he’d used one last night. Fuck, didn’t even think about that. He seemed so…the lube was cold on my ass. He’d missed the hole but that was fine, he rubbed that in and did the same on the other side. He trickled cold oil on my back and in my crack and put the bottle down. I was slick enough to roll off the bed now. We’d need to take another shower.

“I don’t have anything,” he said quietly from beside me. He held the condom in his fingers. “I forgot to use it last night.”

“I know,” I said. God, it felt good not to use one of those damned things. “I’m clean. If you don’t want to.” I trusted him. God, I was stupid.

“I…” he dropped the condom onto the bed and put one knee on again to climb in. “I haven’t been with anyone in more than a year. I couldn’t keep…meaningless sex with women…I don’t know. I stopped. I wanted. I met…fuck, she said she was pregnant… she wasn’t. I got tested after I split from her because I didn’t know. I was stupid.” His voice was shaking.

“I can’t get pregnant,” I told him. “I haven’t been with anyone in four years. I want you, just you.” I reached up and wrapped my hand around the back of his head forcing him to bend over the bed. I twisted to kiss him. “Fuck me, Mason. I need you inside me.” I didn’t think he’d kiss me back. He did. Hands sliding over my shoulders and down my back as he kissed me and climbed into the bed to lean over me.

“I want to hold you down,” he said, there was uncertainty in his eyes. “I want to…take you hard.”

I trembled.
Fuck me
. He didn’t seem the type. “Hurt me. Fuck me hard. Make me feel you.” I gave him my permission. God, it had been so long since I’d let another man use me. Mason needed to use me, I needed to be used.

I was twisted.

He seemed to relax somewhat. I could feel his hesitation. I pulled my arm from beneath me and burying my face in the mattress I crossed my wrists over the small of my back. I was spread out on the bed in submission. I’d never done this with anyone before. Not exactly. Jon liked to hold my wrists over my head. He liked to force his dick down my throat, pretend I was a recruit. He was even more twisted than I’d wanted to remember.

I closed my eyes at the touch of Mason’s thighs between mine. He moved over me slowly, trailing his fingers through the oil on my back and ass. Slicking my skin. “Put your arms on the bed,” he said, his voice steadier than I expected. I did as he said. “Good.”

“Don’t call me good boy, this isn’t that kind of sex,” I said and he slapped my ass. “Okay, maybe it is that kind of sex.”

He laughed. I liked that I could make him laugh. Strange that laughing during foreplay was mildly arousing. “You liked that, didn’t you?”

“Your hand on my ass, yeah, do it again,” I replied wiggling my ass for him, begging him to hit me. He slapped me. “Harder.”

“I don’t want to hurt you.” He rubbed the area he’d slapped. That worked, too. His fingers growing stronger as he pushed the oil over my skin. “Do we need a safe word?”

“‘Stop or I’ll fucking kill you’ should do it,” I told him and he froze. “Mason…please.” I was going to beg. Hell, I
was
begging.

“I want to fuck you so badly,” he said, I figured smack-ass time was over. He traced a finger over my hole and I shoved back onto it, pushing it into me and making him moan.

“Fuck me, spank me, do anything you want to me, we have all night, all weekend.” His finger stayed and I rocked on it, taking it inside me. “Another finger…please.”

“You want to call me daddy?” I blanked on that until he laughed. From last night when I told him not to call me daddy.

“Fucker.” I reached back and smacked his ass. “Don’t make me spank you.”

“Yes, daddy,” he laughed and pushed three fingers into me so fast I saw stars.

“Fuck you, I’ll be your fucking daddy or mommy or grand pappy, if you just fucking don’t stop.” He stroked me inside with his fingers; he leaned over me and I felt his dick nudge my thigh before his lips grazed my shoulder. “Feels so good, Mason.” I grabbed the sheets, his hand had me so fucking close. My body screamed for him. All of him.

“You’re…roll over.” I don’t know what he was about to say. He pulled his fingers out of me almost as fast as he’d shoved them in and I was left breathless for a moment. “I want to see your face.”

“Okay,” I mumbled when I could make my tongue work. I twisted around lifting my legs so that I was still spread wide when I made it onto my back.

He knelt on the bed between my thighs, looking down on me. His hair was wet and slicked back behind his ears. He hadn’t shaved. His three-day growth was almost blond. Made him look younger. He held the bottle in his hands. He looked to be in fuck or flee mode. I just wanted the fuck.

“God, you’re incredible,” I told him, reaching up to glide my hands along his arms.

“Hands on the bed,” he said, shivering under my touch. “Do what I tell you or I’ll spank you.”

“Yes, daddy.” I winked at him. I think his dick twitched. I know it was leaking pre-come like a fountain. “May I suck your dick? Please?” I wasn’t playing anymore. I wanted to suck his fucking dick. Now. Yesterday when I took him all the way down my throat… “Your cum tastes so good.”

His eyelashes fluttered, lips parted, and he moaned softly. “Kilby,” he said my name so softly I wanted to weep from the sound. “I’ll come if you touch me right now. Let me fuck you, baby, okay. You can suck me later.”

Did he even realize he called me baby? I clamped my hands in the sheets on each side and lifted my legs back as far as I could. “Stick a pillow under me,” I suggested and he reached over me for a pillow, he slid it under my back tilting my ass up for him.

“You’re hole is pulsing.” I could hear disbelief in his voice.

“You never fucked a girl’s asshole before?” I asked. He shook his head. “It’s possible, just like a pussy. I am so fucking aroused right now you will make me come the second you hit my prostate.”

“I did that to you?” He popped the lid on the bottle of oil and let it spill all over me. I don’t think he even realized what he was doing. His dick jutted up over my groin. I could feel the heat of it on my skin, feel his arousal dripping onto me and running cold down my leg.

“Yeah, baby, you did that to me,” I said, reaching for him, but he dropped the bottle and grabbed my wrist. He leaned over me holding my hand to the bed.

“No.” He drew in a deep breath and arched his back. It was my turn to draw in a breath as the blunt tip of his dick pressed into me. I opened for him. His eyes went round.

“Hold my wrists over my head,” I whispered. I wanted him over me, I wanted him on me. I wanted him to look me in the eyes when he fucked the hell out of me.

He spread his knees apart and reached for my other wrist, I twisted my arms as he dragged them over my head. He had longer arms than Jon, he held me down, wrists pinned high above my head, my fingertips touching the headboard. He pushed inside me as he clamped my arms down, deep. All the way to his balls. I could feel his belly rubbing my balls. The oil on my belly made me slick. “Fuck, you’re gorgeous.” I heard awe in his voice. “You have the most beautiful eyes.”

I was tired of this game. I had a dick in me and I wanted to ride it. I angled my face up and licked his lips. “Kiss me while you fuck me, please…Mason.”

He drew in a deep breath and released it into my mouth. His lips sealed over mine. He gripped my wrists so tightly that I cried out into his mouth.

He ground his pelvis into me, shoving his dick so deeply he hit my spot and I forgot that this kid had never been with a man before. He owned me right then, owned me body and soul.

“Kilby,” he whispered against my lips and I wrapped my legs around his back.

Much like this afternoon, he seemed to lose himself and let his instincts take over. He moved inside me, slow and easy, his dick grazing that spot with each shallow thrust. I trembled beneath him. It wasn’t enough, not nearly enough. “Harder, Mason,” I begged in a voice gone harsh. “You feel so good baby, harder.”

He let my wrists go and pushed up on his hands. I held myself where he’d put me, reaching for the headboard. I pressed my hands flat against the smooth wood. Mason’s gaze locked with mine; he fucked me, his hips sliding under my oiled thighs. “That’s it.” He slammed into me harder. I couldn’t keep my legs around him. I let them fall to the bed. I couldn’t move. He controlled me, fucking me, his body slamming into mine. His dick filled me, he hit my spot…it wasn’t enough.

“Touch me,” he said and that’s what I needed. I needed him in my arms. I needed his mouth on mine. I needed him to love me.

I ran my hands up his arms and he collapsed onto me. “Kiss me,” I whispered again. “Make love to me.”

He closed his eyes and slid his arms beneath me. “Yeah,” he whispered against my mouth. “Love you, Kilby. Sounds good.” He slipped his tongue into my mouth and I wrapped around him, letting him control the rhythm, loving the feel of him in my arms. The fit of him to my body. The slip and slide of our bodies. I came roaring his name. I didn’t give a shit if my brother was in the next room. I didn’t care if some gray-haired old woman was outside the door listening. I fell apart. “Going to come now,” he whispered as I shook beneath him. I sucked his cry of pleasure into my mouth as he spent inside me. God, I was so fucking fucked.