Out of This World (41 page)

I thought I wanted to be at the compound until we actually get there. But while everybody goes into the house to crack themselves a beer and crank up some tunes, I go back to my crib and change out of these stupid civvies into something that lets me feel more like myself. I'm walking over to my bike when I see J-Dog leaning against a post of the back porch, looking at me.

“You going to see Grandma?” he asks.

Crap, I hadn't even thought of her. All the other bullshit that's been going on just pushed her right out of my head.

“You talk to her?” I ask.

“Yeah, she's cool. She wants to see us.”

“Now?”

He shrugs. “Soon.” He waits a beat, then asks, “What happened back there?”

“You mean with Josh?”

“No, I can pretty much figure that out. He turned into a tiger and stopped the shooter from taking down Householder, then died for his trouble. It's not a complicated story.”

It
was
complicated, I think, but I don't want to get into it.

“Mountain lion,” I say. “He was a mountain lion.”

“Whatever. I meant, what happened with your girl.”

“Fucked if I know.”

“Lots of nice girls right here in the Orchards,” J-Dog says.

“Why you only want the barrio girls?”

“It's not like that.”

“Then what is it like, bro? I can't count the fine ladies who'd like to park their booty in your crib, and they don't come thinking you'll take care of them forever.”

“I'm sure there are.”

But I'm barely paying attention to this conversation. I'm thinking more of what Marina said to me, how I can't change, and me saying I can, and then I go lay down the heavy on that Elzie, telling her if she doesn't take the fall, I'm going to hunt down and kill her family. And I meant it.

Maybe she's right. Maybe I can't change.

But the thing is, there's always going to be a situation where somebody has to take the hard road, and I've always been the guy who'll shoulder that weight. I'm only just now beginning to realize that it also means I walk that road by myself.

J-Dog punches me lightly on the shoulder. “You even listening to me?”

I shake my head.

“You're my little brother, fercrissakes,” he says. “I'm only looking out for you.”

“I know. And I appreciate it.”

“But?” he asks. “Because I'm hearing a big fat ‘but' coming up on me now.”

“I need to take a ride. Clear my head.”

“And then you'll come back.”

I nod. “We'll go see Grandma.”

“Yeah, she'll like that. Both her boys dropping by.”

I can feel his eyes on me as I walk over to my bike. I check to make sure my tire iron's holstered like it's supposed to be. Then I kick the Harley into life and peel out of the compound. I take a left at the end of the driveway and open the throttle.

The familiar rumble of the motor and the solid reality of the machine between my legs doesn't give me the buzz it usually does. Neither do the clear blue skies or the light traffic. I've been dumped before. And I've had friends die, too—people I knew a lot better than I ever got to know Josh.

But it feels different.

I check the rear-view. There's only a white SUV and a jeep on the highway behind me. I half thought J-Dog might try to follow me, but I guess he's taking me at my word.

Part of what I told him is true. I do need to take a ride. But my head's as clear as it's ever going to be.

I've got unfinished business.

Somebody killed Josh and it wasn't Elzie. She only pulled the trigger. The guy responsible is still out there.

What seems like a long time ago, I told Josh I'd have his back. But I didn't. Now he's dead and I can't fix it. I can't make it right. The only thing I can do now is even the score.

I need answers, which is why a little later on, I pull into the parking lot at Tiki Bay. I kill the engine and put the Harley on its stand. Taking the tire iron from its holster, I start up the hill to the bluff where Auntie Min's holding court. I know from the crows—in both bird and human shape—that she's still here. They're turning in lazy circles above the bluff, or standing silhouetted against the sky from my vantage point as I come up the steep incline.

My Wildling radar's pinging like crazy by the time I get to the top. One of the crows notes the tire iron in my hand, but all he says is, “She's been expecting you.”

Of course she has. Auntie Min knows I'm not going to let this go.

Just like the last time I came here with the Feds, she's not alone. I pause at the summit for a moment. Down there on the beach is where Lenny died. Up here is where Vincenzo broke my back and Cory brought me back from the otherworld. That was when Marina and I were still—

I shut down that line of thought and walk through the stiff grass to where Auntie Min's waiting with most of the usual gang of suspects. Rico isn't here. Neither is the hawk uncle Tío Benardo. But Cory and Lalo are, as I might have expected. Jimmy and Ana, the dog cousins, glare at me. Standing with them is a dark-haired woman I don't know. Cory introduces her as Lupe, and she seems to be the alpha in this little three-dog pack.

“We've been waiting for you to start,” Auntie Min says.

Yeah, I think. Sure, you have. Like you knew I was coming. I didn't decide to come here until after I got back to the compound. But I don't bother to correct her.

“You did the best you could,” Auntie Min tells me.

“Yeah, whoop-de-doo,” I say. “Householder's safe and the person who tried to kill him is in jail. But Josh is dead. Doesn't seem like much of a fair trade to me.”

Auntie Min nods. “The boy had so much potential. And I'm very disappointed in the young jaguarundi.”

“Was it the same deal as with the dog clans?” I ask. “Was she bound?”

That gets me a snarl from the dog cousin Jimmy. I give him a cold look.

“I've got things to do,” I tell him, “but I've got time to beat the crap out of you, you want to have a go at it.”

Before he can respond, the woman Lupe steps in front of him.

“I apologize for Jimmy,” she says. “He seems to forget that there is no longer a blood feud between your people and the East Riversea Blue Dog Clan.”

I look from the pissed-off faces of Jimmy and his sister, back to the woman.

“Yeah?” I say. “And why's that?” “All bindings were broken, but we have sworn fealty to Marina Lopez and she would not wish us to engage in hostilities with you.”

Knowing that Elzie did the shooting of her own free will makes me even more pissed off, but I also know the crazy plan originated with this guy Nanuq. I just can't believe she bought into it.

Jimmy makes a grunt in the back of his throat and Lupe turns, fast, assuming a fighter's position. “You want to run the pack?” she snarls. “Then come on. Give it your best shot.”

If Jimmy had a tail, it'd be between his legs. He stares at the ground and shakes his head. Ana also looks cowed.

“I get why you did what you did,” Lupe says, turning back to me. “I'd probably do the same if strangers came after my pack. But the only thing that makes it okay between my people and yours is Marina. You understand?”

“I think she's breaking up with me,” I say.

That gets me a wolfish grin from Jimmy.

Sure, yuk it up.

“So maybe you'll still get a chance to take a run at me,” I say to him. I'd love to take the scumbag down.

Lupe shakes her head. “Breaking up with you doesn't change how she feels about you. It just means she likes someone else more.”

Someone else? I hadn't even thought of that. I just assumed it was the gang life that was making her back off. But as soon as Lupe says it, I know. I mean, really, it was always there, wasn't it? They were probably the only people who didn't know—or at least one of them didn't.

“Josh,” I say.

“Bingo.”

Damn, that's messed up. I might have fought to stay together if it was only about the gang life, but how do I compete with a dead guy—a dead guy I liked?

And she's been mooning over him forever. I remember trying to console her when we were in the otherworld. Thinking about what came after that gives me a flicker of hope. But it dies just as quickly. Who am I kidding? I knew it was over the moment I saw her in the crowd at city hall. She'll never feel anything like that toward me.

There's a strange, tight feeling in my chest. I grip the tire iron a little harder and know I need to focus on something else. I'd like it to be this Jimmy asshole, but I have bigger fish to fry.

I turn to Auntie Min. “So, do you have a line on where we can find Nanuq or the remaining condor brothers?”

“I think so. But Theo, this is something that needs to be
handled with diplomacy. Nanuq's voice is listened to in many councils.”

“You wouldn't last a minute with him,” Cory adds.

I shrug. “I owe it to Josh.”

“But he's—” Lupe starts, but she's smart. She doesn't finish.

Losing Marina to Josh—even to the memory of him— doesn't change anything between Josh and me.

“Don't go after Nanuq,” Auntie Min says. “That's not the way we do it.”

“I don't care. It's the way I do it. Will you just tell me where he is?”

“Not if you plan to harm him. Killing him now will only drive more cousins to his cause. Even just trying will make all of you young cousins look bad.”

Lalo nods. “As I explained to you earlier, nothing makes a better recruiting tool than a martyr.”

“Yeah,” I say. “But if he's not around, will anyone even take up the cause? Is there someone just as dedicated and ruthless waiting in the wings? He's the one that sent Vincenzo, who killed Tomás—one of your own elders.”

I look at Cory, who's been uncharacteristically quiet. “And he would have killed you, if you were easier to kill,” I add. “He's responsible for Lenny being dead, and now Josh. Are you really telling me you can just let it slide? Because I can't.”

Cory's always hard to read, but I can tell he's uncomfortable.

“It's politics,” he says.

“No, it's bullshit.”

He glances at Auntie Min. “Yeah,” he says. “It pretty much is. But it's how the elders handle things.”

Auntie Min sighs. “Why must you be so difficult, Theo? We're trying to avoid further violence.”

“You should have thought about that before you got Josh killed.”

The pain in her eyes is real. I know she didn't want things to turn out this way. “You seem to forget. We were trying to prevent bloodshed,” she says.

“What happened to using your poster boy as an ambassador between cousins and the rest of the world? Oh, that's right. You got him killed.”

There's a disturbance in the air behind her and I get a glimpse of those big moth wings of hers before she gets a rein on her temper.

“You will leave this to us,” she says.

I shake my head. “That's not the way I roll. You want to avoid bloodshed, I'd advise you to stay the hell out of my way. Because I'm going to find this guy and when I do, he pays.”

“With a tire iron?” Auntie Min says. “Do you remember how well that worked with Vincenzo? Nanuq is far more powerful.”

I lift the tire iron. “This was only insurance in case a bunch of you decided to jump me.”

“We would never—”

“And I'm not so stupid. I know it's not enough to deal with him. For that I'm going to see some brothers in L.A. and get me some real firepower. Crips up there know gunrunners. I figure they can set me up with something with real stopping power.”

Auntie Min closes her eyes. “Can somebody talk some sense into him?” she says.

No one speaks and I walk away. No one tries to stop me, either.

I'm tempted to blow into the barrio on my bike and break some heads because I really need to hit something right about now. But I know I have to play this smart.

First up, talk to J-Dog. See if he can hook me up with somebody in L.A. to get what I need.

Then I need to find a cousin to help me track down Nanuq.

I smile as I get to the parking lot and swing my leg over the bike's saddle.

And I know just the bloodthirsty little coati girl for the job.

I don't think I can do this. I'm already hanging on by a thread, but standing here at the front door of Josh's house … I know I'm going to lose it.

I saw him die, yeah. But this feels even more real. This is the house where we spent so much time together, except he's never going to be here again. No more hanging out in the backyard. No more grabbing our boards and heading for the park, or the boardwalk. No more jamming late at night, earphones on, our instruments plugged into the computer.

But his mom needs to know, and I'd way rather she hear it from me than the Feds.