Outback Ghost (28 page)

Frankie smiled knowingly and then leaned forward to whisper in Stella's ear. ‘Adam will be arriving in the fire engine in about ten minutes.'

‘Good,' Stella replied primly. ‘
Heidi
can't wait.'

Frankie whisked them off to the picnic rug where Simone sat nursing a glass of wine. ‘I remember a time when we used to come to the Christmas tree and my daughters actually wanted to hang with me. Now they're off down the end of the beach doing who knows what with boys,' she said, by way of a greeting. Then she opened her arms wide and smiled at Heidi. ‘You'll sit with me, won't you?'

Heidi didn't need to be asked twice. She did a running jump into Simone's lap, almost spilling the wine. Simone laughed as Heidi snuggled in. ‘Can I get you a glass?' she asked Stella, indicating a bottle of wine sitting in a chiller.

Stella shook her head as she sunk to her knees on the picnic mat. While the Dutch courage might be useful, she needed to maintain a clear head for the conversation she planned to have with Adam that night. ‘I'm driving, so I'll stick to Diet Coke.'

Simone didn't push the issue and they settled into easy conversation while Heidi sat back to people watch. As Frankie had promised, barely ten minutes passed before the fire engine siren pierced the air. Over the dunes, Stella could see the top of the truck and the bright flashing lights. Her stomach flipped with the knowledge she'd soon see Adam. Kids scrambled to be first in the line to get their present but Heidi hung back, overcome with an uncharacteristic shyness. Not wanting her to miss out, Stella swallowed her own discomfort and encouraged Heidi out of her safe spot on Simone's lap. Stella took one of her hands and Simone took the other. Together the three of them walked across the sand towards the marquee.

‘Ho, ho, ho!' Stella heard Adam's deep voice before she saw him. Then the hordes of eager children parted like the Red Sea and she got her first glimpse of the man who'd been first and foremost in her mind the last few days.
And wow!
Even boasting extra padding, wearing a bright red and white suit and the token fluffy white beard on his face, he set her heart racing. She felt completely bowled over by her desire and for one moment contemplated sleeping with him again before they had the chat.

He walked past her and although she swore he saw her, he very pointedly looked the other way. Maybe she'd missed her chance. She swallowed her disappointment as Adam took to the Santa throne. The kids gathered in haphazard lines in front of him and Stella forced herself to concentrate on Heidi. They watched the children down the front step up to collect their presents. Most were eager and posed happily for photos but a few of the younger ones screamed blue murder and in the end their parents had to get their gift. When a couple of mums insisted on sitting on Santa's lap, Stella clenched her fists forgetting she was still holding Heidi's hand.

‘Ouch, Mummy.' Heidi yelped and yanked her hand out of Stella's.

‘Sorry, sweetie.' Stella bit her lip. It was torture watching other women getting up close and personal with Adam.

Then it was Heidi's turn.

Adam looked towards them and gestured to Heidi, still not meeting Stella's gaze. ‘Is there a Heidi in the house?' he said with a ho-ho-ho.

‘Go on, honey, that's you.' Stella nudged Heidi on the shoulder, but her feet remained planted in the sand.

‘Heidi?' she whispered.

‘Scared,' came Heidi's reply. Stella couldn't recall another time that Heidi had admitted to being scared. Sometimes her fearlessness worried Stella, so why-oh-why did she have to choose now?

Simone stooped down and also tried to encourage Heidi ­forward. ‘You want your present, don't you?'

Heidi's large eyes filled with tears, misting up her glasses as she nodded solemnly. Stella couldn't stand it a moment longer. She marched up to the throne, looked Adam dead in the eyes, tried to smile and held out her hands for the gift.

He cocked his head to one side and grinned. ‘Have you been good, Stella?'

‘Yes,' she hissed through gritted teeth, aware the eyes of a whole town were boring into her back.

Adam patted his lap. ‘In that case…'

Stella opened her mouth to tell him to stop being ridiculous but then thought what the heck? She'd do anything to get Heidi's present and if Adam was willing to have her sit on him, she would welcome that moment of bodily contact. Without another thought, she stepped right up and plonked herself on Adam's lap. He wrapped his arms around her as someone in the crowd shouted, ‘Smile!'

She looked up in time to see a flash go off. Frankie stepped forward with a big box wrapped in Christmas paper, but not before Adam whispered in Stella's ear. ‘I've missed you, Stella.'

Her bones melted at his words and she felt herself leaning closer into him, desperate to feel his intimate touch once again. ‘Me too,' she answered honestly.

‘Can I come round tonight?'

‘Yes.' Her head swam with the divine scent of him.

‘Good,' Adam smiled and then gestured beside them to Frankie waiting with the gift. ‘I hope Heidi likes her present.'

‘I'm sure she will.' Trying to do so in a dignified manner, Stella slid off Adam's lap and took the gift from Frankie. She barely remembered walking the short distance across the sand back to Heidi and forgot to take photos as her daughter eagerly tore the paper off her present. She felt intoxicated at being so damn close to Adam again and wondered how she was going to keep her head long enough to have the conversation that must be had.

Time had never gone so slowly. Still wearing his Santa costume, Adam had done the obligatory schmooze through the crowd, chatting to kids about their gifts and then he'd accepted a beer from someone and mingled with the adults. He could have left as soon as the presents were done, but he couldn't bring himself to do so while Stella and Heidi remained.

He watched them from a safe distance, knowing his turn to be with Stella would come that evening. After the way she'd brushed him off the other night, he'd planned on keeping his cool around her tonight but flirting with her came naturally. His body tightened at the recollection of her sitting in his lap and he smiled thinking about the way she'd leaned into him. If they hadn't been in the presence of such an attentive audience, he'd never have let her go.

Stella appeared to be enjoying herself. Frankie and Simone and Ruby had drawn her in to their little social ring and she looked at home sitting with them chatting while Heidi played with two other little girls nearby. She looked to be having the time of her life with her new friends and Adam felt bad begrudging her that but he just wanted the night to come to an end so the good stuff could begin. When he saw Heidi yawn five times in quick succession, it was all he could do to stop rushing over and asking Stella if she wanted help taking her home.

But that would seem too domestic and Stella had made it clear she wanted to keep him and Heidi in separate boxes. He caught her gaze as she packed up her things and they exchanged a knowing, heated look. He watched Simone walk Stella and Heidi to their car and then he went to see if Frankie and Ruby needed any assistance packing up. After half an hour of taking down the marquee, putting decorations back in boxes and carrying everything up to Frankie's van, he felt confident that Heidi would now be in bed.

Anticipation built within him, every muscle in his body tense with desire as he drove from town back to the farm. He made a quick detour to his place to change and experienced a stab of guilt at leaving Mutton again but he didn't want the exuberant puppy to interfere with his plans for the evening. The light on the cottage veranda shone brightly when he arrived and Stella met him as he climbed the front steps. She stood in the doorway, light from the hallway shining around her head like a halo.

‘Hi,' she said softly.

‘Hey.' He should have bought wine or more flowers but he hadn't been able to think about anything except them being together again. ‘Where's Heidi?'

Stella hugged her arms around herself. She wore a denim skirt and a wafty hippy-type top in the same shade of lemon as the dress she'd been wearing the other night. All he could think about was sliding his hands under her skirt.

‘Asleep. She zonked out in the car before we were out of town.'

Those words were all the encouragement he needed. He took two large steps, closing the distance between them and snuck his hands around her waist. But instead of feeling her softness melt against his as he'd anticipated, he felt her hands on his chest, pushing him back.

‘Adam. We need to talk.'

Disappointment slammed into his gut at her words, all but ­killing the erection that had been burning a hole in his pants all evening.
Talk
? That was about the last word a man wanted to hear in the throes of passion. His defences shot up and he dropped his hands to his sides.

‘Look, if you don't want a repeat of the other night, that's fine. We don't need to talk about
why
.' He was already turning to go.

‘That's not it.'

He frowned, halting. ‘Then what? You're like a faulty tap, boiling one minute and freezing the next. And right now, you're confusing the hell out of me.'

‘I'm sorry.' She sounded genuinely so. ‘It's just…'

‘Please don't tell me you're tired again.' He'd thought that excuse was only sacred to stale-married couples.

She laughed nervously. ‘Adam, I'm a single mum to a special needs seven year old, who has the mental and physical age of a five year old. I'm tired all the bloody time, but that's not what I'm trying to say here. I would rather not talk right now. I'd rather rip off your shirt and drag you into my boudoir to have my wicked way, but there's something I need to get off my chest first.'

He was getting hot under the collar again and all he wanted to get off her chest was her top. But, encouraged by her words, he shoved his hands in his pockets and tried to think with the brain between his ears rather than the one between his legs. ‘Okay. Let's talk.'

She stepped into the house and he followed her into the kitchen. ‘Can I get you a drink?' she asked.

He was about to say he could do with a beer, but she continued before he got the chance. ‘Tea? Coffee?'

‘Thanks. I'll have a coffee.'

She got busy making the drinks and he noticed her hand shook as she poured the milk. What could possibly be on her mind that was setting her so on edge?

‘Here, let me carry those,' he said, rushing forward to pick the mugs off the bench before she did.

‘Thanks.' She smiled. ‘Would you like a biscuit or something?'

‘You and Heidi been making choc-chip cookies again?'

She nodded.

‘In that case, yes please. Shall we head into the lounge room?'

‘Uh huh.' He got the impression she didn't really hear his question and that he could have said, ‘Shall we head up to the moon?' and she would have been equally as compliant. He hated the uncomfortable tension between them and wanted to put her at ease.

‘It was a good night,' he said, as she retrieved a Tupperware container from the cupboard and started towards the lounge room. ‘I saw Heidi made some friends.'

‘Yes. I think she would have stayed playing until she dropped asleep in the sand if I'd let her.'

He laughed, placed the mugs on the coffee table and then sank down onto the couch. He hoped Stella would join him but sitting first had been a strategic move on his part. If she didn't want to sit close she could take the armchair. He couldn't help a small grin when she sat her gorgeous body gingerly down beside him.

‘What's on your mind?' he asked, leaning back into the couch.

She let out one long heavy sigh. ‘This is going to sound totally crazy. I'm not sure how to say it.'

‘In my experience the best way to get things off your chest is to say it as quick as possible. However it comes out. Like ripping a band-aid off.'

‘I usually think things through before I say them, but I've been thinking this through for days and I still have no idea what to say.'

‘You're scaring me, Stella.' Although he tried to sound light-hearted, the look of absolute terror on her face worried him. He reached out and placed his hand on top of hers. ‘It can't be all that bad.'

‘Okay.' Another puff of air. ‘The reason I haven't invited you back since that night is that Heidi has been having nightmares and I needed to be with her. I couldn't risk her waking up upset while we were…'

‘Geez, I'm sorry. I had night terrors as a kid after Lily-Blue went missing and they can be terrifying. No wonder you've been tired. And here I was taking all the credit.'

Her lips twitched at the edges. ‘Trust me, some of it's yours.'

That made him smile. ‘I'm glad to hear it. But the nightmares… what are they about?'

‘You know how I told you she has imaginary friends?'

He nodded.

‘Oh God, maybe I shouldn't say anything.' She snatched her hand out from under his and turned her head so he couldn't see the expression on her face.

‘Stella, what's wrong? What is it?' He cupped her cheek and gently turned her head, forcing her to meet his gaze. Tears glistened in her eyes. Was she sick or something? His rib cage squeezed around his heart at the thought.

‘You're either going to hate me or think I'm insane if I say this.'

‘Just say it. Please?'

‘Okay.' She blinked. ‘Well, Heidi's had imaginary friends for a few years now. Some people think it's odd but I was quite proud of her imagination. People often think kids with Downs are dumb and I thought her ability to create worlds and characters was another point against this stupid assumption.'

‘She's definitely not dumb.' In the short time he'd known her Heidi's zest and passion for life and everything around her had even inspired him. When he'd given her a ride on the header she'd asked more questions than he could answer.