Outing of the Heart (48 page)
Read Outing of the Heart Online
Authors: Lisa Ann Harper
âDo you have to go?' she asked softly, her eyes round with entreaty.
âYes, Babe.' Sid smiled with tender understanding, the love light in her eyes. âBut I'll make you feel much better next time.'
A thrill of pleasure whisked through her, at the promise held in these words. Sid sat down by her side and clasped her hand within hers. âWe must work on finding somewhere.'
She couldn't bring her mind to think of such practical matters. She just wanted to lie there; take Sid close in her embrace.
âPerhaps one night I can stay over?'
How wonderful. She frowned, drawing her brows together in consternation. âNo, that won't be possible.' Taken aback, she looked at her in surprise.
âMrs. S. stipulated no houseguests when I took the apartment. She'd had someone in here before who abused the privilege. At the time I didn't think such a rule would bother me. What about your place? It's a residence isn't it?'
She too frowned âYes, but I'm not allowed over night visitors. The ruling exists to prevent the girls from having boys in their rooms. Unfortunately, we're caught in the middle.' She fell silent and Ten stared at her, dejectedly, large eyes saddened by a hopeless feeling.
âDon't worry, Sweetheart,' she gave her hand a squeeze: âI'll fix something through friends of mine. You'll see.' She stood up. âI must go. Can I call you tomorrow?'
She didn't want to let her go, not yet. “
You're being selfish,”
she admonished herself:
“She's got an hour's drive ahead and a five o'clock wake up.”
She sat up. âWhat about you, Sid? Don't you ⦠well, you know â¦'
âFeel frustrated?' she supplied. Her hand stroked her cheek. âNo, I don't. In fact I feel very pleased with myself. I've been wanting to pleasure you for so long.' She tightened her lips. âNot exactly how I'd had in mind, but if you feel OK for a while, I can wait 'til next time.'
What beautiful, pure blue eyes; so intense, so explosive. Ten had never met someone so unselfish in lovemaking. She marvelled again at this girl who was the first to give her an orgasm that left her feeling so wonderful, so satisfied. She had waited thirty years for this. They had not even been in bed, or undressed for that matter. She watched her collect her things, admiring the tight curve of her buttocks. How she wished to go there. She swung her legs over the side of the bed.
âNo, don't get up. I'll let myself out. I'll talk to you tomorrow.' She moved back to the bedside and straddled Ten's knees with her legs. She put her arms around Sid's hips and buried her head against her crotch.
âNO. Don't do that.'
She pulled away, sharply, feeling she'd been slapped, not knowing what was wrong. Sid was obviously wrought up. âWhat have I done?' she asked bemused, her face pale and worried.
âNothing,' Sid replied, rather fiercely through gritted teeth. Her voice softened. âI came over to say goodbye ⦠you do that, I'll never get away. Then we'll both be in trouble.'
She changed her voice. âI'll see you out; I have to lock the door. Mrs. Sandrelli has sharp ears and won't rest 'til she knows the house is as it should be.'
They went up the stairs, not speaking. Both wanted to kiss, but neither made a move. She felt Ten should not be compromised, especially not at her own front door. They looked at each other in mute understanding, powerless to change the situation; helpless in the tyrannical grip of social convention.
Closing the door slowly, her body seemed to float as she returned to the apartment. Sighing, she leaned back against the door. What a girl. What an experience.
“So this is what lovemaking is all about.”
Where had this been all her life? The occurrence had been so different from when she was with Jerred. She realized now she must have been positively frigid with him. She shuddered, remembering the awful, painful, verging on brutal encounters she'd had. With Devon it had not been nearly so painful, but nor had it been satisfying. And tonight she had climaxed without penetration. Only wonderful, wonderful feelings and pleasure at being in Sidonie's arms. She had been kissed. At last she knew what it was like to be held by her, to feel her body so close. What a marvellous girl.
“
How lucky I am to have met someone like you.”
She walked over to the kitchen for a drink and saw the two coffee mugs, the contents abandoned and smiled to herself. She moved lightly, feeling full of womanly allure and grace. Drinking, reflectively, she realized they had not really been intimate ⦠beyond that kiss. Oh, it had been so wonderful. She could get addicted to this. Wasn't there a song called, ADDICTED TO LOVE?
“Is this what it means? If so, then I am.”
She wanted to dance for joy. She loved Sid and loved herself, too. She did feel so good. The milk back in the fridge, she got ready for her shower. Undressed, she looked critically at her body. Would Sid like it when she finally got to see it? She smoothed her hand over her dark, bushy triangle. I'll get to experience her body, next time, she gloated. As she stepped into the shower she began to hum the Pointer Sisters' old classic, LOVER WITH A SLOW HAND. She had found her lover.
A chilling thought gripped her heart as she drew a shaky breath.
“Was there really no time for me to make her feel good, or did she not want me to?”
She remembered Sidonie's harsh voice. Suppose she had not been so interested in her after all? Suppose she didn't really like her âthat way'; had just done it to please her. Then of course, she would seem to be unselfish wouldn't she? What if there were no chance for her to pleasure her? What if she couldn't do it; make her feel good? Bring her to a climax successfully? She had so much to learn. All her previous happiness and delight melted away. She was swamped by dismay, which quickly turned to alarm. No more singing. She rinsed and stepped out, a frown darkening her brow where before had been all smiles.
“You're letting these demons undermine you again, Ten. You mustn't do this. Wait ⦠you'll be talking to her tomorrow. You can gauge her reactions then. Don't panic.”
She climbed into bed, wishing she could be here beside her; reassure her that everything was right with them. Instead, she cradled Montmorency to ease her fears.
*Â Â Â *Â Â Â *
Sidonie drove carefully home. She needed to keep her mind on the road, but it kept drifting back to the past hour. Tenille had been so quick. She was so ready. She reflected on how lovely it would have been to actually caress her. She knew she would have felt her delicious lubricity. A sign of her desire for her and for her alone; she was pretty sure of that.
“Hot damn. One of those other butches wouldn't have turned her on, would they?”
she worried, applying an axe to the roots of her confidence.
“No, it really was me she wanted,”
reassuring herself Tenille was not like that. Those soft sounds she had made, deep down in her throat.
“There will come a time when that sound will be a wild cry,”
she promised. Such a sensual perfume, when their bodies had locked together. One day, soon, she would have that woman naked before her and all the time in the world to delight in each other.
Oops â an amber light; to go or not to go? Go â¦. She made it just before the change, but knew she had better pay more attention. Her favorite gas station came into view. It was an âall-nighter', on her side of the road as she turned off at Belfield. The old guy behind the counter was always ready with a bright and breezy word, no matter the time or the weather.
Back in the driver's seat she began to ponder the problem of where they could share some unobserved time together. Their living arrangements were the pits. Her fist hit the steering wheel in frustration, the knuckles showing white. Still, she could check it out with Dale and Shaneen. In the summertime they often went off camping. They liked women's retreats and that sort of thing. Guesthouses for women only; getting in touch with nature and meditation. She had known them for some time, surely they'd help her out? Were there any others who'd give her the run of their place? Reine and Thea, but they never went away these days. Yes, there were others who had put her up on her own. She'd done that a few times when she'd had a statutory day off and didn't want to go back to the track. There was always her Ma's ⦠but that was only good for her solo.
One day she would get herself a comfortable Condo. Not too far out. She'd never had a garden, but the idea of fixing up a balcony with tubs of plants appealed. Gee whiz, she was getting all nesty. Here was a switch. She pulled into the checkpoint and was waved through. By now it was just after twelve; the night air still carried the day's warmth and the heady scent of Lime Tree blossoms, ardent and fragrant, filled the air. She took deep breaths as she walked the short distance. It had been a gold spun, magical day. It felt so good to be alive.
âYes, Babe.' Sid smiled with tender understanding, the love light in her eyes. âBut I'll make you feel much better next time.'
A thrill of pleasure whisked through her, at the promise held in these words. Sid sat down by her side and clasped her hand within hers. âWe must work on finding somewhere.'
She couldn't bring her mind to think of such practical matters. She just wanted to lie there; take Sid close in her embrace.
âPerhaps one night I can stay over?'
How wonderful. She frowned, drawing her brows together in consternation. âNo, that won't be possible.' Taken aback, she looked at her in surprise.
âMrs. S. stipulated no houseguests when I took the apartment. She'd had someone in here before who abused the privilege. At the time I didn't think such a rule would bother me. What about your place? It's a residence isn't it?'
She too frowned âYes, but I'm not allowed over night visitors. The ruling exists to prevent the girls from having boys in their rooms. Unfortunately, we're caught in the middle.' She fell silent and Ten stared at her, dejectedly, large eyes saddened by a hopeless feeling.
âDon't worry, Sweetheart,' she gave her hand a squeeze: âI'll fix something through friends of mine. You'll see.' She stood up. âI must go. Can I call you tomorrow?'
She didn't want to let her go, not yet. “
You're being selfish,”
she admonished herself:
“She's got an hour's drive ahead and a five o'clock wake up.”
She sat up. âWhat about you, Sid? Don't you ⦠well, you know â¦'
âFeel frustrated?' she supplied. Her hand stroked her cheek. âNo, I don't. In fact I feel very pleased with myself. I've been wanting to pleasure you for so long.' She tightened her lips. âNot exactly how I'd had in mind, but if you feel OK for a while, I can wait 'til next time.'
What beautiful, pure blue eyes; so intense, so explosive. Ten had never met someone so unselfish in lovemaking. She marvelled again at this girl who was the first to give her an orgasm that left her feeling so wonderful, so satisfied. She had waited thirty years for this. They had not even been in bed, or undressed for that matter. She watched her collect her things, admiring the tight curve of her buttocks. How she wished to go there. She swung her legs over the side of the bed.
âNo, don't get up. I'll let myself out. I'll talk to you tomorrow.' She moved back to the bedside and straddled Ten's knees with her legs. She put her arms around Sid's hips and buried her head against her crotch.
âNO. Don't do that.'
She pulled away, sharply, feeling she'd been slapped, not knowing what was wrong. Sid was obviously wrought up. âWhat have I done?' she asked bemused, her face pale and worried.
âNothing,' Sid replied, rather fiercely through gritted teeth. Her voice softened. âI came over to say goodbye ⦠you do that, I'll never get away. Then we'll both be in trouble.'
She changed her voice. âI'll see you out; I have to lock the door. Mrs. Sandrelli has sharp ears and won't rest 'til she knows the house is as it should be.'
They went up the stairs, not speaking. Both wanted to kiss, but neither made a move. She felt Ten should not be compromised, especially not at her own front door. They looked at each other in mute understanding, powerless to change the situation; helpless in the tyrannical grip of social convention.
Closing the door slowly, her body seemed to float as she returned to the apartment. Sighing, she leaned back against the door. What a girl. What an experience.
“So this is what lovemaking is all about.”
Where had this been all her life? The occurrence had been so different from when she was with Jerred. She realized now she must have been positively frigid with him. She shuddered, remembering the awful, painful, verging on brutal encounters she'd had. With Devon it had not been nearly so painful, but nor had it been satisfying. And tonight she had climaxed without penetration. Only wonderful, wonderful feelings and pleasure at being in Sidonie's arms. She had been kissed. At last she knew what it was like to be held by her, to feel her body so close. What a marvellous girl.
“
How lucky I am to have met someone like you.”
She walked over to the kitchen for a drink and saw the two coffee mugs, the contents abandoned and smiled to herself. She moved lightly, feeling full of womanly allure and grace. Drinking, reflectively, she realized they had not really been intimate ⦠beyond that kiss. Oh, it had been so wonderful. She could get addicted to this. Wasn't there a song called, ADDICTED TO LOVE?
“Is this what it means? If so, then I am.”
She wanted to dance for joy. She loved Sid and loved herself, too. She did feel so good. The milk back in the fridge, she got ready for her shower. Undressed, she looked critically at her body. Would Sid like it when she finally got to see it? She smoothed her hand over her dark, bushy triangle. I'll get to experience her body, next time, she gloated. As she stepped into the shower she began to hum the Pointer Sisters' old classic, LOVER WITH A SLOW HAND. She had found her lover.
A chilling thought gripped her heart as she drew a shaky breath.
“Was there really no time for me to make her feel good, or did she not want me to?”
She remembered Sidonie's harsh voice. Suppose she had not been so interested in her after all? Suppose she didn't really like her âthat way'; had just done it to please her. Then of course, she would seem to be unselfish wouldn't she? What if there were no chance for her to pleasure her? What if she couldn't do it; make her feel good? Bring her to a climax successfully? She had so much to learn. All her previous happiness and delight melted away. She was swamped by dismay, which quickly turned to alarm. No more singing. She rinsed and stepped out, a frown darkening her brow where before had been all smiles.
“You're letting these demons undermine you again, Ten. You mustn't do this. Wait ⦠you'll be talking to her tomorrow. You can gauge her reactions then. Don't panic.”
She climbed into bed, wishing she could be here beside her; reassure her that everything was right with them. Instead, she cradled Montmorency to ease her fears.
*Â Â Â *Â Â Â *
Sidonie drove carefully home. She needed to keep her mind on the road, but it kept drifting back to the past hour. Tenille had been so quick. She was so ready. She reflected on how lovely it would have been to actually caress her. She knew she would have felt her delicious lubricity. A sign of her desire for her and for her alone; she was pretty sure of that.
“Hot damn. One of those other butches wouldn't have turned her on, would they?”
she worried, applying an axe to the roots of her confidence.
“No, it really was me she wanted,”
reassuring herself Tenille was not like that. Those soft sounds she had made, deep down in her throat.
“There will come a time when that sound will be a wild cry,”
she promised. Such a sensual perfume, when their bodies had locked together. One day, soon, she would have that woman naked before her and all the time in the world to delight in each other.
Oops â an amber light; to go or not to go? Go â¦. She made it just before the change, but knew she had better pay more attention. Her favorite gas station came into view. It was an âall-nighter', on her side of the road as she turned off at Belfield. The old guy behind the counter was always ready with a bright and breezy word, no matter the time or the weather.
Back in the driver's seat she began to ponder the problem of where they could share some unobserved time together. Their living arrangements were the pits. Her fist hit the steering wheel in frustration, the knuckles showing white. Still, she could check it out with Dale and Shaneen. In the summertime they often went off camping. They liked women's retreats and that sort of thing. Guesthouses for women only; getting in touch with nature and meditation. She had known them for some time, surely they'd help her out? Were there any others who'd give her the run of their place? Reine and Thea, but they never went away these days. Yes, there were others who had put her up on her own. She'd done that a few times when she'd had a statutory day off and didn't want to go back to the track. There was always her Ma's ⦠but that was only good for her solo.
One day she would get herself a comfortable Condo. Not too far out. She'd never had a garden, but the idea of fixing up a balcony with tubs of plants appealed. Gee whiz, she was getting all nesty. Here was a switch. She pulled into the checkpoint and was waved through. By now it was just after twelve; the night air still carried the day's warmth and the heady scent of Lime Tree blossoms, ardent and fragrant, filled the air. She took deep breaths as she walked the short distance. It had been a gold spun, magical day. It felt so good to be alive.
CHAPTER 8
Sidonie worked out at the gym in the afternoon, since she'd missed yesterday. It was a rewarding session. Serena noticed how âup', she was. A lot of effort had been expended today and her praise for the others had been generous. It was really good to be around her. Only a month remained to the Amazons' Comp. Now was the time for fine-tuning.
She kept her eye on the clock, aiming to catch Tenille as soon as she got home. Meanwhile she would try to get a hold of Dale; see how her weekends were shaping up.
There was no answer at the house at five-thirty, unusual; but then again, Mrs. Sandrelli must go out some time. Where was Tenille? She knew she'd be calling. She tried for Dale. No one home there either.
Dejected, she collected her stuff, trying to decide on the next move. Might as well call from the residence. They should both be home by then.
Armed with quarters, she waited in the noisy hallway 'til the booth was free. She could feel the excitement rising at the prospect of speaking with Tenille. In fact, all day she'd been at fever level, her stomach churning like a tempest tossed boat, at each recollection of last night. She would feel the heat of her blood rise to her face and catch her breath at the intensity of the response piercing her, almost to the point of pain. It would cut through her, as her memory played on a vivid image of Tenille in her arms, or especially the memory of that last, tormenting embrace. Tenille's arms around her hips when she had had to be so rough. It had been hard, cutting her off like that. She'd seen the hurt in her eyes and been jolted by her sensitivity. But she just could not afford to let herself go; give in to her own burning need. What she had wanted was to keep Tenille there, to have her give her more and more attention, until her passion exploded violently in the climax that was ready and waiting.
It had to be soon. Sweet Priestess, she couldn't go on like this. Someone had remarked at the gym that they thought she had dropped some weight. Gee, not now. Tenille's long slim legs came into view. The skirt had slipped away as she'd sat up and swung herself over the side of the bed. The skin was such an entrancing color, glowing and smooth. Soon she would explore that perfect body with her tongue. That day she would die and â¦
âAll yours,' came a bright voice, as the girl hung up.
âThanks.'
Dale and Shaneen first. So much better to phone Tenille with definite news. This time they were home. Shaneen answered. She was so happy to hear her voice; she called Dale to the extension. After going through the preliminaries and catching up on each other's doings, she got down to her request.
âRight on the button, Sid,' Dale acknowledged. âWe do have plans to go away and you're very welcome to use our pad.'
âThis week end?'
âSorry comrade. Two weeks hence.'
Sidonie groaned inwardly.
“Not 'til then?
”
This was Shaneen. âWe have an invitation to stay with friends at their cottage in Muskoka Lakes.' Dale took up the story. âWe'll be travelling in the mass exodus from Toronto on the Friday, but you can come before then if you like. Our return will be on the Sunday. We'll be caught in traffic again, but we usually pack up after lunch to try to miss the worst of the stops and goes. Listen; don't leave before we get back. We'd like to meet this new flame.'
âWe could pop round the corner for Chinese,' Shaneen suggested. âWe usually order in because we don't feel like cooking, but a chance to spend time with you would be cool.'
âBetter still,' Sidonie put in a counter suggestion: âWhy don't we order in for you? Just give us a buzz when you're getting near. It's what you really like after a long drive and we'll be happy not to have to gear up to leave so early. Also, it will be a way for me to say thank you. How does that sound?'
âJust fine with us,' Dale concurred. âWe'd not keep you up late anyway, with work the next day.'
âFair enough.'
âYou got yourself a deal ⦠and a dirty weekend.'
âNot this time Dale. This one is special. I can't say anything at this stage, but man, I got hopes.'
âSounds like you got it real bad, Sid. What's her name?'
âI hope for your sake it pans out all right,' Shaneen added.
âThanks guys. Gotta go. Take care.' She cut the line then slipped another quarter in the slot. Ten minutes past six. She'd be sure to get Tenille this time. A prompt response to her ring, but it was Papa Sandrelli who answered. She asked for Tenille, trying to quell her racing heart.
âShe no here. You want message left?' The accent was very thick. No wonder it was usually Mrs. S. who took the calls.
âNo. No message ⦠thanks.'
Fuming, she hung up . What could have happened? She knew she was to phone her as soon as she got home from work. Was she trying to avoid her? No, of course not. Everything was good between them. There wasn't someone else in her life was there? That Devon perhaps? But she hadn't spoken of her much lately, except one time when they'd had coffee.
She walked slowly back to her room, lost in thought. What should she do? She could try again later, but always having to go through those people wasn't something she relished. They could wonder why she was calling so often. She must be getting paranoid; it was none of their goddamned business.
“I'll go down,”
she thought.
“If she's not back by the time I get there I can always wait for her in the car. She can't be long wherever she is. That's it.”
She felt better once she'd made her decision and action, any action, was preferable to waiting in her room or dangling on the end of a frustrating line. She checked her wallet and picked up her keys.
“Wait 'til Ten hears the news,
” she thought excitedly.
*Â Â Â *Â Â Â *
Tenille's class had gone well. It had been fun getting back into it after Caravan. Performance like this had served to build up everyone's confidence and professionalism. Belen noted the improvement immediately. Unfortunately Tenille had shown signs of distraction and she had had to remind her of the sequence a few times. It was so unlike her not to be giving her full attention. The others noticed too. Somebody remarked ⦠was it Denzil? âShe's met someone. Fess up Ten, who is he?'
She had blushed deeply, alerting Ingrid's antennae. Both Marissa and Devon now took notice and each plunged into private speculation, intrigued as to the cause of this change. She certainly looked flustered, but at the same time she was brimming with happiness. Joy seemed to radiate from her, its intensity almost incandescent. She was a new woman all right. Something had happened. Finally, the class over, she refused offers to join the others, pleading a long day.
âI've got the car tonight,' Devon informed her. âCan I drop you off?' This would give her a chance alone with Tenille. She could pump her; find out what was going on.
âGee, that would be great, Dev. Thanks a lot. I'll be right with you.'
She was parked out back.
âOh Dev, you've got a new one.'
âLike it? Daddyo agreed to let me get it. I've been hanging out for a Porsche for some time now. He said if I could get a buyer for the old Merc, then he'd add the extra required for this one.'
“Some extra.”
Tenille exclaimed to herself. âHow do you like it?'
âLove it. How do you like the color?'
âRed's okay, Dev, but it sure is bright.' Personally, she didn't like red for a car, but that was as far as she was willing to go with Devon.
She
liked it and that was the main thing. It still had that new smell, despite Devon continuing to smoke. âWill you consider not smoking in the car?'
They were heading south on Oriole Parkway, Devon wanting to avoid Yonge Street this time of night
âI have thought of it. Actually, I've thought of quitting altogether. It's getting so anti-social these days, but I'm finding it very hard, even just cutting down. Keeping my new baby nice may help me reduce the number; while I'm travelling at least.'
Comfortable in the bucket seat, Tenille felt it was like old times, despite the different vehicle.
âSo ⦠what have you been up to lately Ten? Whenever we meet it only seems to be Flamenco we talk about.'
âNot much, Dev. What about you?'
âNo you don't. I'm not letting you off that easy. Tell me have you met someone?'
âDevon, you are so direct.'
âI knew it. Who is it? Someone I know?'
âYou're jumping to conclusions. I haven't âmet anyone' as you put it. I'm just a bit tired, that's all and everyone was giving me a hard time. You know what they're like.'
âI saw you blushing back there.'
âYou know me. I blush easily when people suddenly put me under the spotlight.'
This was not enough for her. âAre you still seeing your odd friend?'
âExcuse me? What do you mean ⦠my âodd friend'? And who do you mean?' she responded sharply, feeling annoyed.
âDon't lose your cool. My, aren't we sensitive. I meant the person I met at the Bodega that time. She came to see you dance.' Devon negotiated into Davenport, seemingly all concentration on her driving, but in truth very interested in this answer.
âSometimes,' Tenille replied, giving nothing away. âWhy do you ask?'
âJust curious. Just idle curiosity. She didn't strike me as your type, that's all.'
âWhat do you mean, âmy type'?' beginning to seethe.
âOh dear, I seem to be putting my foot further into it, don't I? I don't mean anything particularly profound, Ten, it's just an expression.' Devon wasn't game to elaborate further. Tenille was bristling at every turn and she wanted this drive to be a pleasant memory. However, she had a clear recollection of that girl. Not a refined person, nor, in her opinion, well educated. And for sure quite masculine looking. She felt she could bet on it she was lesbian and she knew, although she'd gotten her into bed, Tenille wasn't that way inclined; as far as sexual preference was concerned. Their intimate encounters had been nothing more than experimentation. She suspected she'd not really enjoyed their physicality. For herself, she really preferred men but still, Tenille was awfully attractive and she would love to rekindle that spark. Marissa was only so bitchy because she'd gotten nowhere. She'd worked that out. She could be a vindictive woman if she didn't get her own way. She heard Tenille's voice cutting into her reverie.
âNow, what about you?' She didn't want the sour note to remain. âHave you chosen for or against the tour with Raoul?'
âWhat are you going to do?'
She hesitated. She had been absolutely decided she would go, but that was before ⦠before ⦠just before. Now she wasn't sure she could leave Sidonie, just like that. Even though it would be only two or three weeks. Heaven's to Betsy, life could get complicated. Trouble was, Raoul was relying on her. Amaia was out of the question. Devon could be an independent spirit, you never knew with her. He'd gone ahead and made the bookings. She had told him yes. She shouldn't let him down now.
âYes, I'm going. It's a wonderful opportunity.'
Devon noticed her voice didn't have its original ring of conviction. Something was in the wind. She pulled up smoothly and parked, then turned, her smile engaging.
âI'll see you Saturday at Sancho's, okay.'
They both got out and she brought Tenille her grip.
âMaybe you won't run away this time and we can talk some more.' Tenille stood facing her not wanting to give her a flat contradiction.
âWe'll see, Dev. You know how I'm not one for late nights.' She looked at her, her dark eyes pellucid in the lamplight, so large and round; Devon loved them.
âThat's all right, Pet,' she was confident she could work her magic. She took a step closer, leaned forward and kissed her on the cheek, lingeringly. Tenille bent to pick up her grip, but Devon stayed her hand with a light touch.
âI've missed you, Ten. We used to be so close.' Her green eyes misty, she looked deeply into Tenille's almost black ones.
âOh Dev, don't start that again. You know there can be nothing between us. You'd never give up Justin and I'm not the type to share.' She took hold of her bag and Devon released her.
âI just want you to know how I feel about you. I can't help how I feel, can I?'
âI don't know Dev. I think you want your cake and eat it too. But you can't include me in that and I won't settle for crumbs. Thanks for the lift.'
Devon shrugged. She returned to the car and drove off as Tenille searched for keys. She had just found them when she looked up and thought she recognized Sidonie's car. A steel blue Tercel was moving round the corner. No, that was impossible. Anyway, more than one person owned a Tercel. She wondered how soon she would be hearing that wonderful, husky voice. She had thought of nothing all day. It had been so hard having to wait. Again, she wished she had a mobile, but on her money she just couldn't afford it.
Sidonie turned the corner into Walmer Road and stopped. She couldn't think straight, unhinged by shock. Had Tenille thought so little of last night? She knew an instant of acute jealousy. She had gone out with someone else. Who was it? She had thought possibly Devon, but she didn't know the car. Disbelief flooded her blue eyes, dulling them to an unfathomable, cloudy grey. The color had drained from her face, but was slowly returning, born of anger and humiliation.
She had opened herself to this woman ⦠made herself receptive and vulnerable. Could this mean nothing? Had she been mistaken in seeing longing in Tenille's face? She laughed bitterly. And she had thought Tenille's desire had been for her alone. Self-deluding fool. This was like sinking into the murky regions of hell. She shook her head to clear the tormenting thoughts, feeling vacant; a skeleton of herself. She grimaced. Life would be different from now on. She would make sure of that.
Sidonie worked out at the gym in the afternoon, since she'd missed yesterday. It was a rewarding session. Serena noticed how âup', she was. A lot of effort had been expended today and her praise for the others had been generous. It was really good to be around her. Only a month remained to the Amazons' Comp. Now was the time for fine-tuning.
She kept her eye on the clock, aiming to catch Tenille as soon as she got home. Meanwhile she would try to get a hold of Dale; see how her weekends were shaping up.
There was no answer at the house at five-thirty, unusual; but then again, Mrs. Sandrelli must go out some time. Where was Tenille? She knew she'd be calling. She tried for Dale. No one home there either.
Dejected, she collected her stuff, trying to decide on the next move. Might as well call from the residence. They should both be home by then.
Armed with quarters, she waited in the noisy hallway 'til the booth was free. She could feel the excitement rising at the prospect of speaking with Tenille. In fact, all day she'd been at fever level, her stomach churning like a tempest tossed boat, at each recollection of last night. She would feel the heat of her blood rise to her face and catch her breath at the intensity of the response piercing her, almost to the point of pain. It would cut through her, as her memory played on a vivid image of Tenille in her arms, or especially the memory of that last, tormenting embrace. Tenille's arms around her hips when she had had to be so rough. It had been hard, cutting her off like that. She'd seen the hurt in her eyes and been jolted by her sensitivity. But she just could not afford to let herself go; give in to her own burning need. What she had wanted was to keep Tenille there, to have her give her more and more attention, until her passion exploded violently in the climax that was ready and waiting.
It had to be soon. Sweet Priestess, she couldn't go on like this. Someone had remarked at the gym that they thought she had dropped some weight. Gee, not now. Tenille's long slim legs came into view. The skirt had slipped away as she'd sat up and swung herself over the side of the bed. The skin was such an entrancing color, glowing and smooth. Soon she would explore that perfect body with her tongue. That day she would die and â¦
âAll yours,' came a bright voice, as the girl hung up.
âThanks.'
Dale and Shaneen first. So much better to phone Tenille with definite news. This time they were home. Shaneen answered. She was so happy to hear her voice; she called Dale to the extension. After going through the preliminaries and catching up on each other's doings, she got down to her request.
âRight on the button, Sid,' Dale acknowledged. âWe do have plans to go away and you're very welcome to use our pad.'
âThis week end?'
âSorry comrade. Two weeks hence.'
Sidonie groaned inwardly.
“Not 'til then?
”
This was Shaneen. âWe have an invitation to stay with friends at their cottage in Muskoka Lakes.' Dale took up the story. âWe'll be travelling in the mass exodus from Toronto on the Friday, but you can come before then if you like. Our return will be on the Sunday. We'll be caught in traffic again, but we usually pack up after lunch to try to miss the worst of the stops and goes. Listen; don't leave before we get back. We'd like to meet this new flame.'
âWe could pop round the corner for Chinese,' Shaneen suggested. âWe usually order in because we don't feel like cooking, but a chance to spend time with you would be cool.'
âBetter still,' Sidonie put in a counter suggestion: âWhy don't we order in for you? Just give us a buzz when you're getting near. It's what you really like after a long drive and we'll be happy not to have to gear up to leave so early. Also, it will be a way for me to say thank you. How does that sound?'
âJust fine with us,' Dale concurred. âWe'd not keep you up late anyway, with work the next day.'
âFair enough.'
âYou got yourself a deal ⦠and a dirty weekend.'
âNot this time Dale. This one is special. I can't say anything at this stage, but man, I got hopes.'
âSounds like you got it real bad, Sid. What's her name?'
âI hope for your sake it pans out all right,' Shaneen added.
âThanks guys. Gotta go. Take care.' She cut the line then slipped another quarter in the slot. Ten minutes past six. She'd be sure to get Tenille this time. A prompt response to her ring, but it was Papa Sandrelli who answered. She asked for Tenille, trying to quell her racing heart.
âShe no here. You want message left?' The accent was very thick. No wonder it was usually Mrs. S. who took the calls.
âNo. No message ⦠thanks.'
Fuming, she hung up . What could have happened? She knew she was to phone her as soon as she got home from work. Was she trying to avoid her? No, of course not. Everything was good between them. There wasn't someone else in her life was there? That Devon perhaps? But she hadn't spoken of her much lately, except one time when they'd had coffee.
She walked slowly back to her room, lost in thought. What should she do? She could try again later, but always having to go through those people wasn't something she relished. They could wonder why she was calling so often. She must be getting paranoid; it was none of their goddamned business.
“I'll go down,”
she thought.
“If she's not back by the time I get there I can always wait for her in the car. She can't be long wherever she is. That's it.”
She felt better once she'd made her decision and action, any action, was preferable to waiting in her room or dangling on the end of a frustrating line. She checked her wallet and picked up her keys.
“Wait 'til Ten hears the news,
” she thought excitedly.
*Â Â Â *Â Â Â *
Tenille's class had gone well. It had been fun getting back into it after Caravan. Performance like this had served to build up everyone's confidence and professionalism. Belen noted the improvement immediately. Unfortunately Tenille had shown signs of distraction and she had had to remind her of the sequence a few times. It was so unlike her not to be giving her full attention. The others noticed too. Somebody remarked ⦠was it Denzil? âShe's met someone. Fess up Ten, who is he?'
She had blushed deeply, alerting Ingrid's antennae. Both Marissa and Devon now took notice and each plunged into private speculation, intrigued as to the cause of this change. She certainly looked flustered, but at the same time she was brimming with happiness. Joy seemed to radiate from her, its intensity almost incandescent. She was a new woman all right. Something had happened. Finally, the class over, she refused offers to join the others, pleading a long day.
âI've got the car tonight,' Devon informed her. âCan I drop you off?' This would give her a chance alone with Tenille. She could pump her; find out what was going on.
âGee, that would be great, Dev. Thanks a lot. I'll be right with you.'
She was parked out back.
âOh Dev, you've got a new one.'
âLike it? Daddyo agreed to let me get it. I've been hanging out for a Porsche for some time now. He said if I could get a buyer for the old Merc, then he'd add the extra required for this one.'
“Some extra.”
Tenille exclaimed to herself. âHow do you like it?'
âLove it. How do you like the color?'
âRed's okay, Dev, but it sure is bright.' Personally, she didn't like red for a car, but that was as far as she was willing to go with Devon.
She
liked it and that was the main thing. It still had that new smell, despite Devon continuing to smoke. âWill you consider not smoking in the car?'
They were heading south on Oriole Parkway, Devon wanting to avoid Yonge Street this time of night
âI have thought of it. Actually, I've thought of quitting altogether. It's getting so anti-social these days, but I'm finding it very hard, even just cutting down. Keeping my new baby nice may help me reduce the number; while I'm travelling at least.'
Comfortable in the bucket seat, Tenille felt it was like old times, despite the different vehicle.
âSo ⦠what have you been up to lately Ten? Whenever we meet it only seems to be Flamenco we talk about.'
âNot much, Dev. What about you?'
âNo you don't. I'm not letting you off that easy. Tell me have you met someone?'
âDevon, you are so direct.'
âI knew it. Who is it? Someone I know?'
âYou're jumping to conclusions. I haven't âmet anyone' as you put it. I'm just a bit tired, that's all and everyone was giving me a hard time. You know what they're like.'
âI saw you blushing back there.'
âYou know me. I blush easily when people suddenly put me under the spotlight.'
This was not enough for her. âAre you still seeing your odd friend?'
âExcuse me? What do you mean ⦠my âodd friend'? And who do you mean?' she responded sharply, feeling annoyed.
âDon't lose your cool. My, aren't we sensitive. I meant the person I met at the Bodega that time. She came to see you dance.' Devon negotiated into Davenport, seemingly all concentration on her driving, but in truth very interested in this answer.
âSometimes,' Tenille replied, giving nothing away. âWhy do you ask?'
âJust curious. Just idle curiosity. She didn't strike me as your type, that's all.'
âWhat do you mean, âmy type'?' beginning to seethe.
âOh dear, I seem to be putting my foot further into it, don't I? I don't mean anything particularly profound, Ten, it's just an expression.' Devon wasn't game to elaborate further. Tenille was bristling at every turn and she wanted this drive to be a pleasant memory. However, she had a clear recollection of that girl. Not a refined person, nor, in her opinion, well educated. And for sure quite masculine looking. She felt she could bet on it she was lesbian and she knew, although she'd gotten her into bed, Tenille wasn't that way inclined; as far as sexual preference was concerned. Their intimate encounters had been nothing more than experimentation. She suspected she'd not really enjoyed their physicality. For herself, she really preferred men but still, Tenille was awfully attractive and she would love to rekindle that spark. Marissa was only so bitchy because she'd gotten nowhere. She'd worked that out. She could be a vindictive woman if she didn't get her own way. She heard Tenille's voice cutting into her reverie.
âNow, what about you?' She didn't want the sour note to remain. âHave you chosen for or against the tour with Raoul?'
âWhat are you going to do?'
She hesitated. She had been absolutely decided she would go, but that was before ⦠before ⦠just before. Now she wasn't sure she could leave Sidonie, just like that. Even though it would be only two or three weeks. Heaven's to Betsy, life could get complicated. Trouble was, Raoul was relying on her. Amaia was out of the question. Devon could be an independent spirit, you never knew with her. He'd gone ahead and made the bookings. She had told him yes. She shouldn't let him down now.
âYes, I'm going. It's a wonderful opportunity.'
Devon noticed her voice didn't have its original ring of conviction. Something was in the wind. She pulled up smoothly and parked, then turned, her smile engaging.
âI'll see you Saturday at Sancho's, okay.'
They both got out and she brought Tenille her grip.
âMaybe you won't run away this time and we can talk some more.' Tenille stood facing her not wanting to give her a flat contradiction.
âWe'll see, Dev. You know how I'm not one for late nights.' She looked at her, her dark eyes pellucid in the lamplight, so large and round; Devon loved them.
âThat's all right, Pet,' she was confident she could work her magic. She took a step closer, leaned forward and kissed her on the cheek, lingeringly. Tenille bent to pick up her grip, but Devon stayed her hand with a light touch.
âI've missed you, Ten. We used to be so close.' Her green eyes misty, she looked deeply into Tenille's almost black ones.
âOh Dev, don't start that again. You know there can be nothing between us. You'd never give up Justin and I'm not the type to share.' She took hold of her bag and Devon released her.
âI just want you to know how I feel about you. I can't help how I feel, can I?'
âI don't know Dev. I think you want your cake and eat it too. But you can't include me in that and I won't settle for crumbs. Thanks for the lift.'
Devon shrugged. She returned to the car and drove off as Tenille searched for keys. She had just found them when she looked up and thought she recognized Sidonie's car. A steel blue Tercel was moving round the corner. No, that was impossible. Anyway, more than one person owned a Tercel. She wondered how soon she would be hearing that wonderful, husky voice. She had thought of nothing all day. It had been so hard having to wait. Again, she wished she had a mobile, but on her money she just couldn't afford it.
Sidonie turned the corner into Walmer Road and stopped. She couldn't think straight, unhinged by shock. Had Tenille thought so little of last night? She knew an instant of acute jealousy. She had gone out with someone else. Who was it? She had thought possibly Devon, but she didn't know the car. Disbelief flooded her blue eyes, dulling them to an unfathomable, cloudy grey. The color had drained from her face, but was slowly returning, born of anger and humiliation.
She had opened herself to this woman ⦠made herself receptive and vulnerable. Could this mean nothing? Had she been mistaken in seeing longing in Tenille's face? She laughed bitterly. And she had thought Tenille's desire had been for her alone. Self-deluding fool. This was like sinking into the murky regions of hell. She shook her head to clear the tormenting thoughts, feeling vacant; a skeleton of herself. She grimaced. Life would be different from now on. She would make sure of that.
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