Outing of the Heart (62 page)
Read Outing of the Heart Online
Authors: Lisa Ann Harper
âDev ⦠Dev, take it easy. We'll see each other when you get back. Remember, I'm not going anywhere.' She drew herself a little apart and looked at her friend genuinely. âDev, I want to thank you so much for your help tonight. You know I couldn't have managed without you. You'll always have a special place in my heart.' She took a deep breath: âGo now, it's late. You still have lots to do. I'll be fine.' She gave a reassuring smile up into the concerned face. âHave a good trip. Come back and tell me all about it.'
Devon released her grip a little and leaned forward to brush her lips against Tenille's. She knew she had to hold back on her feelings. Now was not the time to go over the top.
âYou're right Ten. I hope your night will go well. No pain. I'll call you.' With that she opened the door and passed through. Tenille heard her footsteps springing lightly up the stairs and fade into a faint tapping down the hallway. Left alone she gave a wistful sigh. How Devon had changed. If only she had been like this over New Year's. She sighed again. No, it wouldn't have worked. She had been too much of an innocent then. She had needed Devon to help her mature and was a different person now. They could not have made a go of it, so really there was no point in regretting the past. She had enough to deal with in the present without mourning over lost love.
*Â Â Â *Â Â Â *
Tenille's first telephone call was to work. They knew, of course she would be away for a while, but she had been expected into work that day. Phyllis was most solicitous and glad she wasn't suffering.
âSo how long will you be off now?' she wondered.
âI'm not sure. But I have to have my leg up for a while and then be non-weight bearing on crutches for a few weeks. If you'll let me hop around the store on them, I'll return as soon as I'm able to manage. Unemployment insurance will cover me 'til then.
âDon't rush back too soon. I want you to take good care of yourself.'
The next call was to her mother. She'd not been looking forward to this. âHi, Mom,' she began, as brightly as possible: âIt's me.'
Doris had had a busy week with entertaining scheduled for that evening. Already feeling frazzled, (and God knew Alex would be no help at all), she didn't appreciate this interruption.
âWhat are you doing calling me this time of day?'
âI know Mom, but I have something to tell you.'
Instantly, Doris was on the alert and premonition told her it would be news she'd not like. âWhat is it? Have you had an accident?'
âWell, not as bad as that, but I do have to go into hospital for a few days.'
âOh, Tennie, what's happened?' Doris was now full of motherly concern.
âIt's okay, really,' she hastened to reassure her. âI'm not in a bad way or anything like that. It's just that I've severed my Achilles tendon; the left one.' Doris gasped. âI go in to have it repaired tomorrow. I'm being admitted this afternoon. That's why I wanted to phone you this morning.'
âOh darling, are you all right? When did this happen?'
She could hear her mother's voice becoming charged with emotion. She didn't want her to break down; come rushing to her sick bed.
âI'm fine, Mom. I feel a bit of a fraud. The worst part of all this will be the inconvenience. Not being able to walk for so long.'
âYes, of course, you'll have to use crutches, won't you?' Doris thought rapidly. âYou must come home after it's done.' She was moving into her organizational mode. Now she knew her daughter was not dangerously ill, she would enjoy shouldering her dependency. For a while she would have her darling little girl back, relying on her mother; appreciative and loving. The role of most significant person in her life would once more be hers. âI'll get Dad to drive to Toronto and pick you up when you're discharged. That should be â¦'
âNow Mom, hold on,' Tenille broke in. âYou're going too fast.' This was going to be worse than the grieving mother. She could feel her gearing up, just like the old days; getting ready to take over her life. âLet me call you after it's done and we can take it from there.' She couldn't resist saying: âI won't be totally helpless you know.'
Her mother's voice came down the line deflated. âYou mean you'll stay in Toronto, then?'
âNo, I'm not saying that. I'm just not sure yet, how things will be. It's best to see how it all turns out and what the doctor will and will not let me do. Okay?' she added, feeling guilty she'd upset her. âA day at a time, Mom. Okay?'
âYes, of course, you're right darling. I'm just a bit stretched right now. We're having the Kohlers over tonight and you know what a strain that husband of hers is. So hard to please. I have to do it though. We owe them.' She switched back to her daughter's concerns. âWill you get a phone in your room? Daddy will pay for it and then we can be in daily touch.' This wasn't really what she wanted, but going along with it would make her mother happy.
âYes, I'll do that, then I'll call you as soon as my head clears from the anaesthetic.' She hung up pondering. It would be nice to have the phone ⦠to talk to Sidonie on a regular basis. She couldn't come downtown all the time. She would leave the message now, whilst she was still up. The foot was beginning to swell and she would have to lie down soon to elevate it. This call was quick and the supervisor of the Residence promised to put a note on her door before her return from the backstretch.
The list was almost complete, the last item being to inform Mrs. Sandrelli of the new developments. After a quick tap on the living room door, she hopped into the kitchen, sure she would find her there. Mrs. Sandrelli lived her life around food, one way or the other it seemed.
âSit down,
Cara
,' Serafina smiled at her, not having observed her mode of entry. âDid you take the day off to get ready for your trip? Here's a freshly brewed coffee.' She turned and placed a steaming, glass mug before her and Tenille helped herself to milk from the carton. She thought idly how her mother would never allow this. Milk always had to be decanted into the creamer and consequently there was never enough.
âNo Mrs. Sandrelli, I'm not going on the tour.' She took a sip of the hot brew, savoring the rich taste and let the information sink in. Serafina turned away from the counter and looked at her visitor incredulously.
âNot going. What do you mean, not going? Why not?'
Tenille twisted around from the table to hold her leg in the air.
âI've sevââ, cut the tendon to my heel. I have to go into hospital this afternoon to have it sewed back together again.'
âOh, you poor
bambina
.' She went over and put her arms around her shoulders. âWhat a disappointment for you,' she soothed: âDid you cry? Does it hurt?'
âThe answer is no to both questions,' she smiled up at her.
What a lovely daughter she would have made, Serafina thought, looking down at Tenille's face; the open expression, the slight lift to the corners of her mouth as the smile wanted to break out into laughter.
âIt's not as bad as that Mrs. Sandrelli. I am disappointed not to be part of the troupe. I was very much looking forward to it, but I also think that perhaps I was being pushed a little too fast. Perhaps this is for the best? I don't know.' She sighed deeply and looked down at her left foot. âAnyway, I'm resigned to my changed circs. and, thank goodness, have no real pain, at least, not at the moment. It's more like an ache sometimes. That's really because I'm not using my leg naturally and the muscles are getting tired.'
âHow brave you are, Tenille.' Serafina hugged her again. She made her feel very much cared for. She really was fond of Mrs. Sandrelli.
âI'm going to rest my leg now. I'm expecting a call about noon. Will you be here to let me know, if I can't reach the phone fast enough?'
âYes
Bambina.
I'm home all day, today.' A dark frown crossed her face. âHow will you get to the hospital? Is it far? Can you take a taxi?'
âThat's what the call is for. I think a friend of mine will come pick me up.' With that, she pushed herself away from the table, thanking the older woman for the refreshment.
She appreciated the chance to stretch out on the bed and take time for herself. She had planned to read, but after all the events of the previous evening and her brittle sleep of the night before, it wasn't long before the book dropped and she fell into a fitful dose. The next thing she knew, Mrs. Sandrelli was knocking at her door, telling her her friend was on the line. It was natural to jump up to rush to take the call, but once on her feet she remembered her ankle. From now on it must be hopping with the crutches. Grabbing them, she called out her thanks. At the phone she was breathless, not yet being adept in the use of crutches, especially on the stairs, needing to hold the rail and go very slowly. âHidy.'
âThis is a surprise.' She heard Sidonie's voice in her ear, low and musical. âI didn't expect to get a message from you for two weeks, at least. It's a pleasant surprise I might add.'
It was wonderful to hear those slightly gruff tones again, but she couldn't continue in this self-indulgence. âSid, there's been a change of plan â a change of my plan, that is.' She took a deep breath and plunged on. âI have to go into hospital this afternoon.'
âTenille, what are you telling me?' her consternation acute. âWhat's happened?' A stab of fear took possession of her, twisting her heart.
âIt's okay. I'm not sick. It's just that I've had an accident.'
âAn accident. Oh my God â you're hurt.'
âNo Honey. Let me explain.'
After filling her in an all the details, she heard a sigh of relief from the other end of the line, but Sidonie was puzzled at Tenille's apparent calmness. âYou must feel dreadful about missing this wonderful opportunity with Los Flamencos,' she observed: âBut you're not expressing it how I thought you would.'
âI know Sid. I'm surprising myself,' she sounded perplexed. âI've thought about it and I should be more racked, but really, I'm more happy I don't have to go two or three weeks without seeing you.' She let the words hover down the line as the silence between them lengthened. Sidonie felt her heart begin to thump against her chest as it began to sing. What she had wanted all along was happening. Tenille would rather give up this wonderful chance to further her dancing career, although the situation had been forced, than be apart from her. Surely this must be love. Oh, by all the stars in the night sky, she could never feel more happiness than this. Now she was absolutely sure of it. They were made for each other.
âStay right there, my lovely. I'm coining over. Together we'll get you prepared for the hospital.'
Tenille laughed with joy at the happy sound in Sidonie's voice as she began to plan what would be needed to be done. She could picture her face, flushed and excited at the prospect of their spending time together, her eyes bright with anticipation, when just moments before her thoughts must have been of separation.
âSid. Slow down. I'm ready for admission, but I would so like you to be with me. Is that okay?' she enquired, tentatively, although in her heart she already knew the answer.
âWhat a Dodo you are, Ten. “Is that okay”. I'll not even bother to reply to that one.' Laughter broke from her throat. âAll right Precious, I'm on my way and ⦠and Ten â¦'
âYes?'
âI love you.'
Sidonie hung up and stood still, contemplating her plans for the day. She would phone Milka. No, later. She didn't need to take up the time now. Better to grab some overnight gear. Who knew what would be going down in the next few days? She raced back to the dorm and went quickly round her room, selecting items at random and hoping that by the end she'd picked something of use. She really wasn't thinking straight â that was a good one, but her heart was beating in her ears and she felt she could explode with happiness.
Driving settled her as she resisted the temptation to be her usual racy self. It would be too dreadful to have some sort of run in with the police or worse, land up in hospital herself. She was stopped at the lights. If Tenille wouldn't be operated on until tomorrow, there was all the rest of today together. Green. She pulled away feeling ready to shout and holler and do a jig. Instead, she very politely slowed down and invited an older lady driver into her lane, receiving a pleasant smile of acknowledgment for her pains. She continued to drive automatically, her thoughts leading her at their whim. She marvelled at how âdown' she had been, feeling sorry for herself, alone and unloved. Now here she was, hastening to be with her wonderful Ten.
âShe is a 10, too. Great Goddess. I'm so lucky.'
It was nearly two o'clock by the time she arrived at #226. She had stopped to pick up some Quiche Lorraine and a double serving of Waldorf salad. Other people would turn up bearing flowers. Not she. Too practical. Still, she was sure Tenille would appreciate lunch. Time enough for flowers. She turned on the car radio and sat back enjoying a cut from the Deep Forest CD, BOHEME. This wasn't her usual style of music, but today, everything was giving her pleasure and she liked its ethnicity. Next they played ANASTHASIA from the same CD. It was only short, but most enjoyable.
Traffic had been heavy along Bloor, but turning off into the quiet side roads, no one would guess this was a Friday afternoon with the heavy build up of weekend traffic. A lucky park, right out front. She felt her body so excited, her breasts taut against the T-shirt and the butterfly feelings, flitting around inside her pelvis as she walked up the path, would give her no peace. She knew desire was hot within her, but considered this would be the last thing Tenille needed.
Devon released her grip a little and leaned forward to brush her lips against Tenille's. She knew she had to hold back on her feelings. Now was not the time to go over the top.
âYou're right Ten. I hope your night will go well. No pain. I'll call you.' With that she opened the door and passed through. Tenille heard her footsteps springing lightly up the stairs and fade into a faint tapping down the hallway. Left alone she gave a wistful sigh. How Devon had changed. If only she had been like this over New Year's. She sighed again. No, it wouldn't have worked. She had been too much of an innocent then. She had needed Devon to help her mature and was a different person now. They could not have made a go of it, so really there was no point in regretting the past. She had enough to deal with in the present without mourning over lost love.
*Â Â Â *Â Â Â *
Tenille's first telephone call was to work. They knew, of course she would be away for a while, but she had been expected into work that day. Phyllis was most solicitous and glad she wasn't suffering.
âSo how long will you be off now?' she wondered.
âI'm not sure. But I have to have my leg up for a while and then be non-weight bearing on crutches for a few weeks. If you'll let me hop around the store on them, I'll return as soon as I'm able to manage. Unemployment insurance will cover me 'til then.
âDon't rush back too soon. I want you to take good care of yourself.'
The next call was to her mother. She'd not been looking forward to this. âHi, Mom,' she began, as brightly as possible: âIt's me.'
Doris had had a busy week with entertaining scheduled for that evening. Already feeling frazzled, (and God knew Alex would be no help at all), she didn't appreciate this interruption.
âWhat are you doing calling me this time of day?'
âI know Mom, but I have something to tell you.'
Instantly, Doris was on the alert and premonition told her it would be news she'd not like. âWhat is it? Have you had an accident?'
âWell, not as bad as that, but I do have to go into hospital for a few days.'
âOh, Tennie, what's happened?' Doris was now full of motherly concern.
âIt's okay, really,' she hastened to reassure her. âI'm not in a bad way or anything like that. It's just that I've severed my Achilles tendon; the left one.' Doris gasped. âI go in to have it repaired tomorrow. I'm being admitted this afternoon. That's why I wanted to phone you this morning.'
âOh darling, are you all right? When did this happen?'
She could hear her mother's voice becoming charged with emotion. She didn't want her to break down; come rushing to her sick bed.
âI'm fine, Mom. I feel a bit of a fraud. The worst part of all this will be the inconvenience. Not being able to walk for so long.'
âYes, of course, you'll have to use crutches, won't you?' Doris thought rapidly. âYou must come home after it's done.' She was moving into her organizational mode. Now she knew her daughter was not dangerously ill, she would enjoy shouldering her dependency. For a while she would have her darling little girl back, relying on her mother; appreciative and loving. The role of most significant person in her life would once more be hers. âI'll get Dad to drive to Toronto and pick you up when you're discharged. That should be â¦'
âNow Mom, hold on,' Tenille broke in. âYou're going too fast.' This was going to be worse than the grieving mother. She could feel her gearing up, just like the old days; getting ready to take over her life. âLet me call you after it's done and we can take it from there.' She couldn't resist saying: âI won't be totally helpless you know.'
Her mother's voice came down the line deflated. âYou mean you'll stay in Toronto, then?'
âNo, I'm not saying that. I'm just not sure yet, how things will be. It's best to see how it all turns out and what the doctor will and will not let me do. Okay?' she added, feeling guilty she'd upset her. âA day at a time, Mom. Okay?'
âYes, of course, you're right darling. I'm just a bit stretched right now. We're having the Kohlers over tonight and you know what a strain that husband of hers is. So hard to please. I have to do it though. We owe them.' She switched back to her daughter's concerns. âWill you get a phone in your room? Daddy will pay for it and then we can be in daily touch.' This wasn't really what she wanted, but going along with it would make her mother happy.
âYes, I'll do that, then I'll call you as soon as my head clears from the anaesthetic.' She hung up pondering. It would be nice to have the phone ⦠to talk to Sidonie on a regular basis. She couldn't come downtown all the time. She would leave the message now, whilst she was still up. The foot was beginning to swell and she would have to lie down soon to elevate it. This call was quick and the supervisor of the Residence promised to put a note on her door before her return from the backstretch.
The list was almost complete, the last item being to inform Mrs. Sandrelli of the new developments. After a quick tap on the living room door, she hopped into the kitchen, sure she would find her there. Mrs. Sandrelli lived her life around food, one way or the other it seemed.
âSit down,
Cara
,' Serafina smiled at her, not having observed her mode of entry. âDid you take the day off to get ready for your trip? Here's a freshly brewed coffee.' She turned and placed a steaming, glass mug before her and Tenille helped herself to milk from the carton. She thought idly how her mother would never allow this. Milk always had to be decanted into the creamer and consequently there was never enough.
âNo Mrs. Sandrelli, I'm not going on the tour.' She took a sip of the hot brew, savoring the rich taste and let the information sink in. Serafina turned away from the counter and looked at her visitor incredulously.
âNot going. What do you mean, not going? Why not?'
Tenille twisted around from the table to hold her leg in the air.
âI've sevââ, cut the tendon to my heel. I have to go into hospital this afternoon to have it sewed back together again.'
âOh, you poor
bambina
.' She went over and put her arms around her shoulders. âWhat a disappointment for you,' she soothed: âDid you cry? Does it hurt?'
âThe answer is no to both questions,' she smiled up at her.
What a lovely daughter she would have made, Serafina thought, looking down at Tenille's face; the open expression, the slight lift to the corners of her mouth as the smile wanted to break out into laughter.
âIt's not as bad as that Mrs. Sandrelli. I am disappointed not to be part of the troupe. I was very much looking forward to it, but I also think that perhaps I was being pushed a little too fast. Perhaps this is for the best? I don't know.' She sighed deeply and looked down at her left foot. âAnyway, I'm resigned to my changed circs. and, thank goodness, have no real pain, at least, not at the moment. It's more like an ache sometimes. That's really because I'm not using my leg naturally and the muscles are getting tired.'
âHow brave you are, Tenille.' Serafina hugged her again. She made her feel very much cared for. She really was fond of Mrs. Sandrelli.
âI'm going to rest my leg now. I'm expecting a call about noon. Will you be here to let me know, if I can't reach the phone fast enough?'
âYes
Bambina.
I'm home all day, today.' A dark frown crossed her face. âHow will you get to the hospital? Is it far? Can you take a taxi?'
âThat's what the call is for. I think a friend of mine will come pick me up.' With that, she pushed herself away from the table, thanking the older woman for the refreshment.
She appreciated the chance to stretch out on the bed and take time for herself. She had planned to read, but after all the events of the previous evening and her brittle sleep of the night before, it wasn't long before the book dropped and she fell into a fitful dose. The next thing she knew, Mrs. Sandrelli was knocking at her door, telling her her friend was on the line. It was natural to jump up to rush to take the call, but once on her feet she remembered her ankle. From now on it must be hopping with the crutches. Grabbing them, she called out her thanks. At the phone she was breathless, not yet being adept in the use of crutches, especially on the stairs, needing to hold the rail and go very slowly. âHidy.'
âThis is a surprise.' She heard Sidonie's voice in her ear, low and musical. âI didn't expect to get a message from you for two weeks, at least. It's a pleasant surprise I might add.'
It was wonderful to hear those slightly gruff tones again, but she couldn't continue in this self-indulgence. âSid, there's been a change of plan â a change of my plan, that is.' She took a deep breath and plunged on. âI have to go into hospital this afternoon.'
âTenille, what are you telling me?' her consternation acute. âWhat's happened?' A stab of fear took possession of her, twisting her heart.
âIt's okay. I'm not sick. It's just that I've had an accident.'
âAn accident. Oh my God â you're hurt.'
âNo Honey. Let me explain.'
After filling her in an all the details, she heard a sigh of relief from the other end of the line, but Sidonie was puzzled at Tenille's apparent calmness. âYou must feel dreadful about missing this wonderful opportunity with Los Flamencos,' she observed: âBut you're not expressing it how I thought you would.'
âI know Sid. I'm surprising myself,' she sounded perplexed. âI've thought about it and I should be more racked, but really, I'm more happy I don't have to go two or three weeks without seeing you.' She let the words hover down the line as the silence between them lengthened. Sidonie felt her heart begin to thump against her chest as it began to sing. What she had wanted all along was happening. Tenille would rather give up this wonderful chance to further her dancing career, although the situation had been forced, than be apart from her. Surely this must be love. Oh, by all the stars in the night sky, she could never feel more happiness than this. Now she was absolutely sure of it. They were made for each other.
âStay right there, my lovely. I'm coining over. Together we'll get you prepared for the hospital.'
Tenille laughed with joy at the happy sound in Sidonie's voice as she began to plan what would be needed to be done. She could picture her face, flushed and excited at the prospect of their spending time together, her eyes bright with anticipation, when just moments before her thoughts must have been of separation.
âSid. Slow down. I'm ready for admission, but I would so like you to be with me. Is that okay?' she enquired, tentatively, although in her heart she already knew the answer.
âWhat a Dodo you are, Ten. “Is that okay”. I'll not even bother to reply to that one.' Laughter broke from her throat. âAll right Precious, I'm on my way and ⦠and Ten â¦'
âYes?'
âI love you.'
Sidonie hung up and stood still, contemplating her plans for the day. She would phone Milka. No, later. She didn't need to take up the time now. Better to grab some overnight gear. Who knew what would be going down in the next few days? She raced back to the dorm and went quickly round her room, selecting items at random and hoping that by the end she'd picked something of use. She really wasn't thinking straight â that was a good one, but her heart was beating in her ears and she felt she could explode with happiness.
Driving settled her as she resisted the temptation to be her usual racy self. It would be too dreadful to have some sort of run in with the police or worse, land up in hospital herself. She was stopped at the lights. If Tenille wouldn't be operated on until tomorrow, there was all the rest of today together. Green. She pulled away feeling ready to shout and holler and do a jig. Instead, she very politely slowed down and invited an older lady driver into her lane, receiving a pleasant smile of acknowledgment for her pains. She continued to drive automatically, her thoughts leading her at their whim. She marvelled at how âdown' she had been, feeling sorry for herself, alone and unloved. Now here she was, hastening to be with her wonderful Ten.
âShe is a 10, too. Great Goddess. I'm so lucky.'
It was nearly two o'clock by the time she arrived at #226. She had stopped to pick up some Quiche Lorraine and a double serving of Waldorf salad. Other people would turn up bearing flowers. Not she. Too practical. Still, she was sure Tenille would appreciate lunch. Time enough for flowers. She turned on the car radio and sat back enjoying a cut from the Deep Forest CD, BOHEME. This wasn't her usual style of music, but today, everything was giving her pleasure and she liked its ethnicity. Next they played ANASTHASIA from the same CD. It was only short, but most enjoyable.
Traffic had been heavy along Bloor, but turning off into the quiet side roads, no one would guess this was a Friday afternoon with the heavy build up of weekend traffic. A lucky park, right out front. She felt her body so excited, her breasts taut against the T-shirt and the butterfly feelings, flitting around inside her pelvis as she walked up the path, would give her no peace. She knew desire was hot within her, but considered this would be the last thing Tenille needed.
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