Outlaw Hearts (37 page)

Miranda shook her head. “I can hardly believe it's all real. I
won't
believe it until I feel Jake's arms around me again.”

“Well, we can leave as soon as you're ready. We'll head up into Northern California and hitch a ride on the Union Pacific, wagons, mules, and all. Jake gave me money for the train. We'll take it to Cheyenne and then take the railroad connection south from there to Denver. Then we'll head out to where Jake is. You'll like it there, I guarantee. It's workin' out real good for Jake. Parker really likes the man, thinks he's pretty valuable. So far Jake's doin' a damn good job. The men respect him. I'm working at the ranch myself. You ought to know Jake will be gone at least two weeks out of every month. Him and me, we travel the line, the borders of the ranch, lookin' out for squatters, watchin' for strays, rustlers, that kind of thing. Sometimes Jake has to do it alone, but then we both know he's damn good at takin' care of himself.”

Miranda smiled through tears. “Yes, he certainly is that.” Evie came toddling back to her, and Miranda hugged the baby close. Lloyd walked back to Jess and handed him a piece of paper, asking if he'd help him write something. “Well, boy, somethin' tells me you can already write and spell better than I can,” Jess teased. He looked at Miranda. “The boy ain't shy, is he?”

“No. He's always getting into mischief. Does that remind you of anybody you know?”

Jess laughed. “I expect it does.”

Miranda rose, keeping Evie in her arms. “I'll start packing right away. I'll need a day or so to pay some debts and get everything ready. You should be able to get a room at the boardinghouse south of town. Be here the day after tomorrow. We'll need a wagon and mules.”

“I figured as much. I bought both in San Diego. That's my rig out in front of the store, my horse tied at the back. Jake gave me plenty of money for the whole trip. He wants it to be as comfortable for you and the kids as possible. That's why he's payin' for me to bring you back by train. It might be closer to go by wagon along the Old Spanish Trail and through Arizona and New Mexico up into Colorado. But that's one hell of a trip, pretty desolate country and full of Indians. I wouldn't think of taking a woman and kids back through there. I traveled with a pack train through that country to get here, and I ain't goin' back.”

The man rose, and Lloyd, who didn't fear a person on earth, reached up for him. Jess picked him up, grunting a little at his size. “He not only looks like his pa, but he's gonna be big like him.”

“Yes. Evie looks like Jake too, but she's much tinier than Lloyd ever was.”

Jess looked her over again. Good God, she was small. “Like her ma. Jake's gonna be right surprised and a little taken aback when he finds out he's got a daughter. I just feel sorry for any young man who wants to date her when she's older. Ol' Jake will probably nail every one of them to the wall, tellin' them if they lay a hand on her, they'll have to answer to him. I don't think they'll want to do that.”

Miranda laughed at the remark and kissed Evie's cheek. “Her name is Evita. I named her after Jake's mother.”

York sobered, touched. “Jake will like that.” He shook his head. “This has been real hard on him, ma'am. I know it was hard on you too, but he had the extra worry of you bein' a woman alone with two babies, and him not bein' able to fill his responsibilities of takin' care of you. It ate at him real bad, and it just about drove him crazy not bein' able to come back here and see to you himself, but he had to make sure everybody thought he was out of your life so's you won't be followed when you leave with me.”

Miranda closed her eyes, saying a quick prayer of thankfulness. “I understand. I always understood. I never stopped believing I would hear from him.” She wanted to ask if Jake had been true to her. They had been apart nearly two years. She knew that in his heart Jake had never strayed, and she decided that if he had turned to someone a time or two out of physical need, she didn't want to know about it. All that mattered was that he was waiting for her and they could be together again, and once that happened, she would make sure he had no needs left unsatisfied.

Jess put Lloyd down and turned to the door. “I'll be by day after tomorrow then, bright and early,” he told her.

She looked at him with tear-filled eyes. “Thank you. I'll be ready.”

The man gave her a wink and left, and Miranda sat down again. She held Evie close with one arm and reached for the letter, opening it with her other hand and reading it over again.
I
love
you, Randy. It's safe now, and I need
you…

“Jake,” she whispered, kissing Evie's hair. They would be together again, and this time it would be forever.

***

Miranda studied the barren Nevada desert as the train rumbled through hard-packed sand and here and there pools of green, poison water. She remembered that first journey west, coming to look for Wes, the torture of traveling through the desert while she was pregnant with Lloyd. She remembered how frightened Jake had been for her when she got sick.

It had been five years since she and Jake first came out here; five years since she first set eyes on the outlaw Jake Harkner and heard his gun explode in her ears. Somehow she had known since that first time he rode out of her life back in Kansas City that she could never be fully happy without him.

How sad that they didn't have this railroad completed when she and Jake first came west. They could have avoided so much hardship. She thought how Jake had come out here to get away from civilization, but civilization had followed the railroad, and she had seen new little towns all along the way that had not even existed when they first came west. A mere five years had brought amazing changes. Jess said Denver was quite a big city, with hotels and horse-drawn trolley cars. It was expected that soon the whole city would be lit with gaslights rather than oil lamps.

She turned to Jess, who sat beside her. He had been every bit the gentleman on their journey. Again it seemed fate had stepped in and sent someone into Jake's life to bring him up from the pits of despair and show him there was always hope. Life in California had been so good, so sweet and happy. Maybe it could be that way for them again now in Colorado.

“Jess, do you think with all the growth out West and the way the country is coming back from the war…do you think there is any chance the wanted posters will come down in Missouri and men like Jake will be forgotten and allowed to be free?”

Jess sighed, puffing thoughtfully on a cheroot he had lit minutes earlier. “I don't know. The country might be pickin' up again, but hard feelin's from the war, they ain't gonna die easy. I still carry a lot of hate myself, and those times right after the war, people carried a lot of revenge in their hearts, just like I did. It's too bad about the mix-up—Jake bein' accused like that. If he could ever find that girl he rescued from Kennedy's bunch, get her to testify that he helped her, maybe he could wipe his slate clean. But she might not even remember enough to be any help. A thing like that happens to a woman, she gets kind of crazy.”

His voice trailed off and he smoked quietly for a moment. Miranda knew he was remembering what had happened to his own wife at the hands of the Yankee raiders.

“I don't reckon it's worth him takin' the risk of goin' back. He might not be wanted anymore, or then again he might get hauled in and pushed through a trial and hanged in two days. It's hard to say. All I know is with Kennedy and his bunch wiped out, none of the rest who know who he is is gonna say anything because they either respect him too much or are too afraid to come after him. Fact is, none of the others even know where he is now. Just me. And livin' out there on the Colorado plains under a new name and all, hell, ain't nobody that works on that ranch gonna know. After enough years, maybe then it won't matter anymore. It's already been well over six years since it all happened.”

Miranda stroked little Evie's long, dark hair as the child shifted in her lap. Lloyd was turned in his seat, resting on his knees and watching the scenery out the window. He pointed to a herd of wild mustangs. “Horses, Mommy,” he said excitedly.

“Yes, I see them,” she answered, leaning forward slightly to look past Jess.

“Is Daddy there?” the boy asked, his dark eyes wide with hope.

Miranda felt a stab at her heart, realizing he must be remembering when Jake would bring in a herd of wild horses to their ranch back in California. The child had a surprisingly keen memory of things from when he was only two, and he had never forgotten his father, nor would she have let him forget. “No, Daddy isn't with those horses, Lloyd, but we'll see him soon—just a few more days now.”

She couldn't wait for Jake to see how much Lloyd had grown, how bright he was. He could already write his name. Although he was sometimes reckless and daring, he was an obedient child with a sweet nature, a child with a lot of love to give, love Jake needed right now. Most of all she was anxious for Jake to see that his son had not forgotten him. He would see that this product of his seed was good and loving, just as she imagined Jake must have been when he was small. Now when she watched Lloyd and imagined a father treating him the way Jake had been treated, she could understand all the better the horrors of Jake's childhood, the terrible pain he must have suffered when he had so much love to give and no one who wanted it. If Jake's father were still alive, she thought, she would shoot him herself.

“We'll be in Cheyenne in a couple of days,” Jess told her. “Another day or so to Denver and another to the ranch. Won't be long now.”

Miranda kissed Evie's hair and smiled, trying to imagine what it would be like seeing Jake again. “I'm scared, Jess.”

He looked at her with a frown. “Scared? Of Jake?”

“No. Scared of how he'll feel, scared it won't be the same.”

He chuckled. “Oh, it will be the same, all right. Better, I expect, because you've both been through so much and you both know now how much you need to be together. If you want to know the truth, I don't think you're anywhere near as scared as Jake is. When I left, he was as nervous as a bobcat up a tree with sixteen huntin' dogs barkin' at it. I have a feelin' he'd rather shoot it out with ten men than go through this first meetin' with a woman he worships and who he's afraid maybe won't love him the same anymore. He's even scared you won't show up at all. You ain't got nothin' to be afraid of, Randy. You've got that man hog-tied but good. Whatever it takes to keep you and make a good home for you, he'll do it.”

Miranda met his eyes. “Thank you for being his friend, Jess. I hope you can find love again someday for yourself.”

He blushed a little and turned away, grabbing Lloyd and making the boy giggle when he tickled him. He moved into Lloyd's seat and held the boy on his lap, needing to be a little farther away from Miranda for a moment. Did she have any idea what she did to a man? Traveling with her night and day, he'd gotten to know her pretty good, and it was easy to understand why Jake loved her. She was a good woman, beautiful, devoted…hell, he could love Miranda Harkner easy as breathing. Watching her and her children reminded him of what he had lost eight years ago. She was the first woman he'd met since then that he thought could help him forget and start over, but any man could see there was only one man for her, and that was Jake. She loved the man so much she was practically blind to the way other men looked at her.

“Jess play cards?” Lloyd spoke up, straddling the man's lap then. He pulled open Jess's jacket and took a deck of cards from an inside pocket where he knew Jess kept them. Jess glanced at Miranda, who he knew wasn't too fond of her son learning how to gamble. She smiled and shook her head.

“I guess you don't have much choice. He's restless and bored and stuck on this train for two or three more days. It's all right.”

Jess grinned and took the cards from their carton. “We'll let you guess what each one is. It's up to your pa whether or not you learn what to do with them,” he told Lloyd. “Lord knows he's won his share of money and got into his share of brawls over these fifty-two little troublemakers.” He held up a queen of hearts. “What's this?”

Lloyd grinned. “Lady,” he answered, pointing his finger against the picture.

Jess laughed. “You got that one right. That's just what your pa would call this card if he had two or three of them—‘Pair of ladies,' he'd say.” He laughed again and held up a king.

Miranda moved to a window seat, keeping Evie on her lap. The scenery outside began to change to beautiful red rock formations. In the distance she could see the outline of dark mountains on the horizon. The Rockies. One more chain of mountains to cross, through Utah, into Wyoming, then Colorado…and Jake. There it came again, that quick stab of excitement that made her chest feel tight, made her heart beat a little faster.

A hawk flew overhead as Jake urged Outlaw down the steep embankment and into the open valley ahead. He herded three young calves ahead of him that had strayed too far into the rocky crags at the base of the mountains that made up the western border of Zane Parker's land.

He breathed deeply of the scent of mountain wildflowers mixed with the rich scent of pine. He liked it here. It was the prettiest country he'd ever seen, and he hoped Miranda would like it too, if she came back with Jess. Maybe since the new baby was born she had found some other man, someone who could give her peace and a normal life that held no physical or emotional dangers. The worst hell was not even knowing if she was alive and well. He had not dared try to get in touch with her, other than to send her the letter and money he could only hope had reached her safely. He couldn't even send Jess until now, when he was sure the man could bring her right back.

What the hell was he going to do if Miranda didn't show up with Jess? He rubbed at his left shoulder, which still ached fiercely at times, especially when it was damp. The shoot-out over the gold shipment had put him through a lot of pain, but Zane Parker's payoff had made it all worth it. At last he had a real home for his family, a place where they could all live in peace. Parker's men had helped him build a sprawling, five-room log home that was a palace compared to anyplace else Miranda had lived. He wanted a big house, big enough for more children they might have. The home was set against a backdrop of mountains that displayed brilliant colors of purple rock, white snow, deep green fir trees, yellow-green aspen with stark white trunks. This was the kind of country a man, and, he hoped, a woman, would never want to leave.

Parker's vast spread ran from this place, which was just south of Colorado Springs, east to Fountain Creek, south nearly to Pueblo and back west to the mountains. It was a huge ranch that took in mountains, foothills, valleys, and streams. A man could ride for miles out here and still be on Parker land, and he had been put in charge of it all. It wasn't always easy to make his rounds. Physical pains from old wounds were beginning to set in. With all he had been through, at thirty-five he supposed there were times when his body thought maybe it was much older. Sometimes he felt pain deep in his side where Miranda's bullet had landed, and his hip still hurt him often from the gunshot wound he'd suffered at Desert. Now there was this damned ache in his shoulder. He suspected he'd be practically a cripple when he was an old man, if he even lived to
be
an old man.

Today, other than the shoulder, which he figured would get better as he healed over time, he felt good, strong, stronger than he had felt in a long time. Maybe it was the air here in Colorado, or maybe just the realization that he might be united again soon with his family. Whatever it was, he was not going to let his aches and pains interfere with his daily life, certainly not with his love life if Miranda came back to him. He'd been a long time without a woman, and he reminded himself that the first time wouldn't be easy for her after being apart for so long. They would have to get to know each other all over again.

He headed back toward the house. With Parker's permission, he had stayed close these past two weeks, sure that if Jess made it to California and was on his way back, he would show up any time. He had wanted to go to Denver and meet them at the railroad station, but with no knowledge of exactly when they might arrive, all he could do was wait here and watch for a wagon. He whistled to the strayed calves and rode after them, forcing them to head back into the valley by riding behind them in zigzag motions, not allowing them to turn back.

Outlaw had turned out to be a good, dependable mount for this work. He'd had the animal for seven years now, and over these past two years the horse had been about the only steady thing in his life. He remembered how Lloyd had liked to sit on him. It wouldn't be long now before he could teach the boy to ride on his own. He longed to make up for the last two years, hoped the boy had never felt abandoned. His biggest fear was losing the closeness they had once shared. He would never forgive himself if this separation had affected the boy emotionally. Over the past two years he'd had nightmares about the day of the shoot-out, how easily Lloyd or Miranda could have been killed.

It took nearly a half hour to come in sight of the house, and he drew Outlaw to a halt when he saw a wagon far in the distance, coming down the roadway that led south out of Colorado Springs past his own spread. He told himself it could be anyone, but every time he saw a wagon coming he could not help hoping that maybe this time it would be the one carrying Jess and Miranda. He goaded Outlaw into a gentle lope, heading for the house.

***

Miranda could not quite get over the splendid beauty of Colorado. If she and Jake were going to know anything close to paradise, this was it. She drank in the blue sky, the purple mountains in the distance, the lush green valley spotted with groves of aspen. To the east they had followed for part of the way a sparkling run of water Jess had called Fountain Creek. It was hard to believe that for as far as she could see to the south and east, the land belonged to Zane Parker, the man for whom Jake now worked.

The day was pleasant, and Lloyd rode in the back of the wagon amid a pile of blankets. Miranda held Evie in her lap as the wagon bounced over the dirt road toward a beautiful log home surrounded by a split-rail fence. Wildflowers bloomed here and there in the thick green grass that surrounded the house, and a few horses grazed in a corral nearby. “What a pretty house,” she commented to Jess. “Is that where Mr. Parker lives?”

Jess laughed. “No, ma'am. He has himself a mansion in Denver and a house a lot bigger than that one, farther south on his land. You're lookin' at your own home. This is Harkner land, or should I say Hayes land?”

Miranda put a hand to her chest, gasping with disbelief. “That's
our
home? Are you sure?”

“Oh, yes, ma'am,” Jess answered, still grinning. “I figured you'd like it. So did Jake. Parker's men helped him build it. You ain't never seen men work so fast over the winter. Jake needed the help because of his shoulder bein' wounded and all. It's still a little bare inside. Jake wanted to wait and let you furnish it however you like.”

“Oh, Jess, it's beautiful! It's so big!”

“Well, Jake, he figured maybe there'd be more babies eventually, so he wanted plenty of room.”

Pain gripped her heart at the words. There would be no more babies. Would Jake be terribly disappointed when he heard? How much difference would it make in how he felt about her? She thought she had learned to accept the fact there would be no more children, but now the ache was reawakened deep in her soul. She told herself she must not think about it now. She was here…home. That was all that should matter to either of them—just being together.

She saw a rider then, approaching from the south, and she wondered if her heart might stop beating. She recognized Outlaw. “Jess, look! Is that Jake?”

Jess pulled the wagon to a halt. “I believe it is.”

“Oh, dear God,” she whispered. “I'm shaking.”

Jess just grinned and shook his head. He took the baby from her. “Go on and get down and go out there to him. You two ought to be alone at first. I'll drive on up to the house with the children.”

Miranda turned to Lloyd. “You be good for Jess. Mommy will be right with you.” She climbed down, wondering if her shaking legs would continue to support her. Was this really happening, or was it all a dream? Jess drove on with the wagon, and she began walking toward where Jake had halted Outlaw and was watching them. She saw him urge the horse into a slow walk then, heading toward her.

She hardly knew where she was, was unaware then that she had started running. Jake in turn had urged Outlaw into a faster trot, then a full run. He was farther away than she had first thought, and she realized that's how it was in this land. Nothing was as close as one first thought. It was big country, and it fit men like Jake. The next two or three minutes it took for them to reach other seemed like forever.

“Jake!” she called out as he came closer. In the next moment he was off his horse before the animal even came to a complete halt and she was swept into his strong arms. “Jake! Jake! Thank God!” She breathed in the scent of man and leather and fresh air as he lifted her off her feet and whirled her around.

Jake ignored the pain in his shoulder. It hardly seemed real that he could be holding her again. Here she was, this slip of a woman he thought might not even want to come back to him, embracing him, weeping against his shoulder, obviously happy to be here in his arms. At first he just held her, unable to find his own voice.

Now she was kissing his neck, his cheek, weeping his name. Their lips brushed, then met again in a deep, hungry kiss that told both of them nothing had changed, that each had waited for the other, that there had been no one else and never could be. He could taste the salt of her tears, his own mixed with them.

He left her mouth and kissed her eyes, her hair. He slowly lowered her to her feet but she would not let go of him. She rested her head against his chest, and so far neither of them had even taken a good look at each other. They wanted only to hold, to touch.

“I didn't quite expect this,” he finally managed to say. “I wasn't sure you'd even come.”

“How could you think that?” Miranda finally allowed herself to move away from him. She took a handkerchief that was tucked into the sash of her dress and wiped at her eyes, and Jake wiped at his own with his shirtsleeve. He looked her over, thinking how she hadn't changed at all. In spite of another baby, she was as slender as ever, and as far as he was concerned, she had never been more beautiful.

“Tell me about the baby.” He sniffed and wiped at his eyes again. “I'm so damn sorry you went through another birth alone, Randy.”

“You have a daughter, Jake. Her name is Evita. I call her Evie.”

She watched his dark eyes, saw the love there, the surprise at what she had done. “You named her after my mother?” He reached out and touched her face. “
Gracias, mi querida
. We'll have more, as many as you want. Did you see the house? It has five rooms, Randy, three bedrooms. I can add more if—”

“No.” She turned away, and a mountain breeze blew her honey-blond hair across her shoulders. “There won't be any more babies, Jake.”

“What?” What was she saying? Had she decided not to come back to him after all?

“I wasn't going to tell you until later, but…talking about the house.” She hugged herself tightly. “I had the same problem with Evie that I had with Lloyd, only this time it was worse. Jim Henderson said the only way to save me was to…remove my uterus. That's what holds a baby.” She pressed a hand to her stomach. “I have a scar. There won't be any more children.”

For a moment there was only the sound of a soft mountain breeze. Then she felt a hand on her shoulder. “My God, you could have died! That's all that matters, Randy, that you're alive.”

She hung her head. “I wasn't sure—”

He turned her and folded her into his arms again. “Thank God the man knew what to do. I'm so damn sorry, Randy. But if you think it makes any difference to me—hell, all that matters is you're here and alive and the baby is fine.” He pulled away but kept hold of her arms. “She is all right, isn't she?”

“Yes. She was a year old in March, Jake. She's beautiful, dark like Lloyd.”

He looked her over. “You went through all that alone.” He touched her hair lovingly. “I wish I could change it all. I should have been there. I'll do everything I can to make it up to you, Randy.”

“You already have, by just being here, sending for us, building this home for us. Jake, it's so beautiful. We can be happy here.” She stepped back from him, studying him a moment. He looked more handsome than ever. There was a peaceful look about him she had not seen before. “You're happy, aren't you? You look good, Jake. Jess told me about your shoulder. Are you all right now?”

God, how he loved the sight of her. How had he lived all that first part of his life without her? Why had he been so blessed when he was so undeserving? “It's still healing, but hell, I'm used to the aches and pains. Considering what I went through the first thirty years of my life, I guess I'm lucky to be walking on my own two feet.” Their eyes met, and they both smiled. “God, you look good, Randy, prettier than ever.”

A little older. Yes, he looked a little older, but the new lines around his eyes only made him more handsome. “I was so afraid you would decide we were better off apart. I never want us to be apart again, Jake. We belong together, no matter what happens.”

He looked past her then at a small boy running toward them. “Daddy!” Lloyd shouted.

Miranda smiled through tears at the look of utter worship that came into Jake's eyes. “He remembers me?”

“I never let him forget, Jake. We talked about you every day, prayed for you every night at bedtime. All the way here he asked if this was the day he would get to see you again.”

Jake walked toward the boy, grabbing him up into his arms, laughing, crying. Lloyd squealed and hugged his father tightly. Jake turned to Miranda. “He got so big!”

“Well, he's over four years old! And he knows his numbers up to ten and all his A-B-Cs and can print his first name. And thanks to Jess he knows all the suits in a deck of cards!”

Jake grinned, turning to kiss his son. Lloyd kissed him back and pointed to Outlaw. “Sit on your horse,” he demanded.

Jake laughed and carried him over to the animal, plunking him in the saddle and telling him to hang on to the pommel. He turned to Miranda. “How about his last name?”

Her own smile faded. “I never taught him that. I was waiting to find out what it would be.”