Outsider (13 page)

Her free hand traced a pattern on his jacket. “I haven't forgotten.”

“He's done some questionable things over the years.”

She looked up. “How do you know that?”

He cleared his throat. “Cy told me,” he said. “I went down to his place to check on a few things today. He said that Lane took you and Bernadette riding down there last weekend.”

“Cy can mind his own business,” she replied hotly.

The fury in her tone caught his attention. It didn't take a mind reader to know that she was falling in love with Colby Lane all over again. It disturbed him that he couldn't think of any way to stop it. He wanted to tell her what he knew about Lane, but it seemed low and cowardly to fight the other man that way. They were sort of on the same team, and he and Sarina certainly were allies. It wasn't altogether business, either, that made him want to interfere. He had feelings for Sarina that he couldn't contain. Lane was a train wreck that threatened to rip his cozy relationship with Sarina and Bernadette to shreds, and he couldn't find a way to stop it.

“Lane's bad news,” he said curtly.

“I know that.”

“But it isn't stopping you from going out with him, is it?” He stopped dancing and looked down at her. “Sarina, exactly when did you know him?”

She couldn't look at him. “Seven years ago.”

He could add. And subtract. He drew in a long breath and muffled a curse under it. “He's Bernadette's father, isn't he?” he asked, icily blunt.

S
ARINA MANAGED
to lift her eyes to Rodrigo's. It was impossible to lie to him. She shrugged. “Yes. But he doesn't know,” she added gently. “And there's no use telling him. His second wife convinced him that he's sterile. He doesn't believe he can have a child.”

He let out a long breath. “That explains a few things.”

“So it wouldn't do any good to mention it,” she continued. “The past is truly dead. I couldn't have a relationship with him now, not only because of Bernadette, but because of my job. He'd be livid if he knew about it.”

He saw the misery in her face and felt guilty for bringing it up. He shook her gently and grinned. “Dance,” he teased. “We're attracting attention.”

“And we're doing it without guns,” she exclaimed under her breath. “Wow!”

“Stop that,” he muttered.

“Sorry. Couldn't resist it. Don't forget the cake, okay?”

“You've been reminding me for a week,” he pointed out. “Once would have done it.”

“Point taken.”

“I hope she likes what I got her.”

“What is it?”

“Oh, no,” he teased. “I tell you, and you let the cat out of the bag. I'm not telling you any secrets.”

“Well, pin a rose on me…!”

A big hand came down on Rodrigo's shoulder. “And now it's my turn again,” Colby said, twirling Sarina back into his arms. He gave Rodrigo a smug grin, which in turn, infuriated the other man.

Rodrigo's dark eyes flashed. “Why don't you take your attitude and shove it right up…!”

“Could you control yourself? There are women and children present!” Colby said with mock horror.

Rodrigo looked as if he might actually implode. His olive tan reddened under the force of his anger.

“Pitiful self-control,” Colby said, clicking his tongue as he danced Sarina away, leaving a silently cursing Rodrigo behind. “Are you
sure
you want to get mixed up with a man like that?”

She wouldn't laugh, she wouldn't laugh…!

He drew her head to his chest, amused at her efforts to hide her reaction from her Latin friend. “Don't spare his feelings, for God's sake.”

“You're horrible!” she exclaimed breathlessly.

He shrugged. “I try. If you're going to do something, you should do it well, I always think.”

She let out a long breath. “Poor Rodrigo!”

“He'll get over it,” he mused, smiling down at her. “The world is full of unattached women.”

“I
am
unattached,” she pointed out.

He shook his head slowly, smiling down at her. “I've got squatter's rights.”

She met that soft gaze and her heart did a flip. Past and present merged, and she wanted nothing more than to be held close to him and loved…

The big hand came down on his shoulder again. “And it's my turn again!” Rodrigo purred, as he spun Sarina into his arms and danced her away.

Colby glared after them. But a minute later the music ended and Rodrigo had to stop, because the band was taking a break. He went to retrieve his ginger ale with a smug grin.

He paused to speak to Hunter and Jennifer for a minute. When he looked around, Sarina and Rodrigo were missing. Bernadette was still playing with Nicole and the little boy who seemed to be part of their group.

Curious, he spotted the two against a wall, talking seriously. There didn't seem to be any romantic feeling between them, at least not on Sarina's part, and they looked as solemn as morticians.

He managed to move a little closer, his keen eyes going to Sarina's lips as she spoke to Rodrigo. What a good thing, he thought amusedly, that he was taught lip-reading as part of his covert training.

He frowned as he picked up disjointed phrases, because she kept turning her head as she spoke. There was something about a stakeout, and surveillance, and an upcoming operation in which she was involved.

It made no sense to him. What sort of operation would involve a clerk in an oil corporation? Had Rodrigo involved her in some sort of project? Worse, had Hunter taken him at his word that Sarina was cut out for something better than menial work? What if Hunter had her watching the drug suspects?

His heart stopped at the thought that she might be involved in something dangerous. Bernadette had nobody except her mother. Surely she wouldn't risk her life when she had a child to raise? He was furious at himself for even mentioning Sarina's potential to Hunter.

He moved away, frowning. He was going to have to talk to Hunter about that. Sarina had a child. She couldn't be involved in dangerous work.

He had another sip of ginger ale and waited for the music to start up again, but it didn't. Apparently it was time to leave. He was vaguely disappointed. He'd hoped to have another dance with Sarina. Holding her in his arms, even on a dance floor, was addictive. But very quickly, she and Bernadette were heading for the back door.

He intercepted them outside.

“I'll see you tomorrow afternoon,” he told Bernadette.

Her dark eyes brightened. “You're coming to my birthday party?” she asked excitedly.

Her enthusiasm warmed the cold places inside him. He smiled with genuine affection. “Yes, I am. But I'll be late. About four o'clock. Is it okay?”

“It's great!” she said enthusiastically.

“If you have cake,” he stipulated with mock seriousness. “I love cake.”

“Chocolate, as I recall,” Sarina said without thinking.

His dark eyes met hers. “Yes.”

She flushed. She hadn't meant to say that.

“And you like strawberry ice cream,” he added with a faint smile.

Her eyes danced. She'd never imagined that he'd remember trivial things about her.

“See you,” he added.

“Are you two ready to go?” Rodrigo asked, ignoring Colby as he fished his car keys out of his slacks' pocket.

Colby gave him a dark look, which was returned with interest.

“Good night, Colby,” Sarina said.

“Good night,” he replied, winking at Bernadette.

“See you tomorrow. At four,” the child added with a grin.

“We'll probably run out of cake before then,” Rodrigo said blandly.

“No problem. I'll bring another with me.”

“Going to bake it yourself?” Rodrigo muttered under his breath.

Colby glared at the older man. “Sure I am. Did you knit that suit yourself?” Colby added with a speaking look at the other man's dark jacket.

“Let's go,” Sarina said quickly, getting between the two men. She literally led Rodrigo out by one hand just as he had his mouth open to answer Colby's mocking taunt.

 

C
OLBY DIDN
'
T SLEEP
well. Something Sarina had said kept nudging at the back of his mind. Something about Bernadette's birthday. Resolutely he refused to listen. He got up before daylight and made coffee. Later, he dressed and went to the mall to shop. He had no idea what to get a little girl of seven. But as he was passing one of the science shops, he stopped suddenly. He couldn't get the thought of a microscope out of his mind.

He walked into the shop and talked with the salesman about a particularly expensive one that connected to a computer, so that specimens could be saved on CD-ROM.

“It's a bit extravagant for a seven-year-old,” the salesman said dubiously.

“She's not your average seven-year-old,” came the tongue-in-cheek reply.

He produced his credit card. The store provided a sedate wrapping, but added a colorful ribbon to offset it.

With the present wrapped, and secure in the SUV, he went to have a leisurely lunch and then went walking around the mall. He was uneasy about what he'd “overheard” when Rodrigo and Sarina were talking privately. Something was going on between those two, but nothing of a particularly romantic nature. It was driving him crazy. She was driving him crazy. He kept remembering how she felt in his arms, that morning in his apartment. He'd thought of little else since then. She didn't hate him. She wanted him. But it wasn't going to be easy, getting her back into his life. She still had hidden fears of intimacy, and he had a few of his own. If he got closer to her, and lost control, as he had all those years ago…

He turned away from the clothing store window he'd been looking in and walked back down the mall. It was almost four. Time to go. He climbed into the SUV and drove toward Sarina's apartment. He hoped Rodrigo was there. He was looking forward to helping the man headfirst into what was left of Bernadette's cake.

 

T
HERE WERE COLORFUL
balloons tied to the worn wrought-iron railing on the front porch, and scattered bits of pretty paper and ribbon in the trash can next to the door. He tapped gently and Bernadette came running to the door, pretty in a pink striped dress with white stockings and pink sneakers that looked new. She had a jaunty chiffon bow clasped in her newly short, dark hair.

“Hi!” she exclaimed. “You came!”

“I promised I would,” he reminded her, with a glance at Sarina, who was washing dishes at the sink.

“Come on in,” she called. “I saved you some cake and ice cream. Want coffee?”

“Please.” He looked around. No Rodrigo. He grinned as he took off his jacket. He was wearing gray slacks and a long-sleeved shirt and blue patterned tie that highlighted his dark good looks. He didn't often wear short-sleeved things—the prosthesis, for all its realistic look, was more noticeable in them. Newly repaired, the high-tech prosthesis was back in place.

“This is for you,” he told Bernadette, handing her a beautifully wrapped rectangular box.

“Can I open it?” she asked, all eyes.

He smiled. “Go for it.”

She put it down on the coffee table, frowning. “It's heavy,” she murmured as she tore at wrapping and ribbon.

Sarina brought his coffee in a white mug and stood beside him.

“You'll think I've lost my mind when you see it,” he said without looking at her. He was beginning to have second thoughts about the present. “I don't know why I bought it…”

The last of the paper came off and Bernadette looked at her mother with quiet dismay. Sarina wore a similar expression.

They both looked at him, without speaking.

A faint ruddy flush colored his high cheekbones. “I can return it,” he began slowly.

“No!” Bernadette exclaimed, wrapping her arms around it with horror.

“Then, what…?” he began.

Sarina went to the small desk in the living room and opened a drawer. She pulled out a colored sheet and hesitantly gave it to Colby. It was a color ad for a high-tech microscope; the one he'd just given Bernadette.

“I told her we couldn't afford it,” Sarina began slowly. She flushed.

Bernadette was touching it as if she still couldn't believe it was real. There were tears in her eyes, too. “I love to go to school because we have a microscope like this in our classroom,” she said. “I go early sometimes so the teacher will let me look at paramecium in it.” She turned to Colby. “Thanks,” she said huskily, and held out her arms.

The expression in her eyes hurt him. That affectionate gesture hurt him. He'd been horrible to the child, but she hadn't held it against him. He went down on one knee and gathered her close, feeling her small arms tight around his neck as she hugged him. He sighed, kissing her dark hair. Seven. She was seven years old. It was October.

Seven?
He went rigid. It was October. She was seven years old. She'd been conceived seven years and nine months ago. In January. Seven years ago. He and Sarina had been married in January. Seven years ago.

A flash of pain hit him so hard that he shuddered. He drew back from Bernadette with the horror in his eyes. His mind was a jumble of half-finished thoughts. Maureen had lied. He wasn't sterile. Bernadette's father had deserted Sarina when she was pregnant. She was in dire straits, sick and alone, her father had thrown her out of her home because she refused to have an abortion. The father of her child had deserted her. He'd…deserted her!

“Oh, sweet Jesus!” he choked, in a tone that was painfully reverent.

Bernadette looked at him for a minute and then moved away. She went to a cabinet and pulled out a photo album.

“Bernadette, no!” Sarina said, horrified.

The child looked up at her with Colby's eyes. “It's all right, Mama,” she said softly. “He knows.”

Sarina almost fell into a chair, her eyes wide with pain and sick knowledge.

Bernadette took Colby's hand and pulled him to the sofa, and pushed him down on it.